The patient in bed 44 is a very superstitious person. As soon as he was admitted, he went to the hospital director's office demanding a bed change. He threatened to petition the "Focus Interview" program to give our hospital free advertising if we didn't agree. We complied with his request and moved him from bed 74 to bed 44. Last week, I informed him he could be discharged, but he wasn't in a hurry to leave and even asked to stay longer. Hospital beds are limited, and nurses and doctors took turns trying to persuade him, but to no avail. He kept suspecting he had an incurable disease and wouldn't live much longer. However, he was wrong; he was in excellent health. The one with the incurable disease wasn't him, but the patient in the bed next to him. I arranged for all the patients over 70 years old from other rooms to be moved to his room. It's good for them to broaden their horizons.
In the morning, after finishing my rounds, I slipped back to my office.
I wasn't surprised at all that the myna bird was in my territory; I was just a little curious about the child following behind him.
“When did you get such a big son, myna bird?” Teasing myna bird has become an indispensable form of entertainment in my life.
"Come on, even a notorious bachelor wouldn't suddenly have a son this big," Dr. Qian from the same department interjected, clearly showing that "Brother Ba" was extremely unpopular.
"An'an, I need your help with something." He said with a fawning smile.
"I'm busy." Without even thinking, she rejected his unreasonable request.
“I haven’t told you yet.” He pulled out the child hiding behind him and pointed to him. “This is my sister’s son. I have to go to a meeting later. I have a few special appointments this afternoon. Could you help me take him to the dentist to get his teeth checked?”
Captain Tsubasa? What a coincidence! It turns out he's the kid from "Mynah Bird's" family.
"You're like Lily Chou who's afraid of dentists, aren't you?" She had already agreed to his request in her heart, but she couldn't help but tease him a few more times.
"What are you afraid of!" He pulled the child directly in front of me. "That's it, thank you." He patted my shoulder.
"etc."
"how?"
“Leave his medical record card.” I pointed to what he was holding.
He tossed my medical record onto my desk, grasped my hand, and said, "Take care!"
This rascal has really copied my tricks perfectly.
The young soccer player stared at me with his big, curious eyes, while I sized him up as well. He was quite handsome, with soft skin, but he was too thin.
He reached out and hugged the young soccer player to his lap, then patted his head.
"Will you give me an injection?" That was the first thing he said to me when I met him.
"We'll see." I deliberately teased him to scare him, since this kid had ruined two of my important divinations in a row.
"Can I take medicine?" he asked, making a small request.
"Open your mouth."
He obediently opened his little mouth and took out a flashlight from the drawer to carefully examine the cavities.
"I'm afraid that won't work. All your teeth are rotten; you'll need injections." I lied through my teeth.
He covered his mouth with his little hand and asked indistinctly, "Then can't I hit him in the mouth? Can I hit him in the butt?"
I pulled his little hand away and said sternly, "No, you can't cure cavities without slapping his mouth."
I couldn't believe how easily this little soccer player was fooled; I was secretly laughing to myself. Dr. Qian, who was standing nearby, couldn't stand it anymore and came over to me, picking up the soccer player and coaxing him.
Under Dr. Qian's coaxing, the young soccer player revealed his name: Dongdong.
"My mom said I was born in winter, so my name is Dongdong," he explained in a childish voice. This is probably his nickname; his medical record says his name is Zhang Jiahui.
Seeing that it was almost time, I led the young soccer player named Dongdong to the second-floor dental clinic.
When the time came, a long queue formed outside the dental clinic. It seemed that even if they wanted to give this kid special treatment, he would have to wait for one or two hours or more.
The dental nurses all gathered around to watch the spectacle when they saw me with a little kid. Seeing the soccer ball being groped by the group of enthusiastic nurses, I softened and picked him up. Now, not only the nurses, but even the head of the dental clinic teased me, asking when I'd secretly given birth to such a big son.
This kid has a sweet tongue; he calls everyone he sees a name. I'm a little jealous, though; I've been holding him all this time and he's never called me that. The nurses and doctors nearby were teasing him, telling him to call me "Dad." It was just a joke, but it unexpectedly made him cry.
Kids are really hard to take care of.
Anqi
The large talisman I picked up from the dry cleaners just two days ago has been ruined again by this kid. His shoulders are soaked, and after wiping one side, he changes to the other to continue his Meng Jiangnu project.
I've truly experienced how formidable kids can be. No wonder this little rascal's mom always carries a handkerchief; she's keeping an eye on him. I'm not good at comforting children, and I didn't know what to say, so I could only pat his back gently when he coughed to offer some solace. And I'm no stranger to this kind of work either; if there's anything I'm lacking, please point it out, little soccer player, and we'll improve next time, okay?
I carried him up the stairs to the third-floor support office. I need to change into another white coat; this one doesn't suit my image. The nurse on duty is the same one from last time.
"We've already exceeded the limit by several items, we really can't accept any more." The nurse insisted on logistical principles and refused to make any exceptions.
"My husband's wife ran off with another man, and now no woman helps me with my laundry. Please have pity on my son and me." I feigned pitifulness to gain the sympathy of the junior nurse in the logistics department, hoping this trick would make her show leniency and grant me a new fortune.
The nurse giggled. The little guy, who had been quietly nestled on my shoulder, started crying again when I teased him, kicking and thrashing his little legs around.
"Could he be hungry?" The nurse pointed to the soccer ball on my body.
"I don't know," I answered honestly.
"And you call yourself a father? You don't even know if your own son is getting enough to eat." After saying that, she took out a black leather notebook, wrote something down, handed me a pen, and asked me to sign it. And there I was, a brand new white coat.
"Quick, wipe him clean." The nurse handed me a tissue.
This little guy has a runny nose again. Looks like he should be renamed Snotty instead of Captain Tsubasa.
"How did you wipe it? The more you wipe, the dirtier it gets." The nurse took another tissue and personally wiped the boy's nose.
"Quickly thank your sister." I patted his bottom.
He reluctantly thanked the young nurse in front of him. This kid was really hard to please; he'd better return him to "Myna" as soon as he was done with his dental work.
The little guy cried himself to sleep, so I put him on the examination bed in the office. Just then, our head nurse was there, and she reminded me that if I let him sleep like that, he'd definitely catch a cold when he woke up. I thought about it and realized she was right, so I asked the head nurse to bring him a clean blanket and pillow to cover him, and then I took off his clothes and turned up the office heating.
At noon, I woke up the sleeping soccer prodigy like a mother hen and asked him what he wanted to eat. The kid immediately said he wanted KFC.
Goodness, she knows how to enjoy herself even better than I do.
Of course, KFC was out of the question. The cafeteria downstairs had chicken legs, so I asked him if he wanted one. He thought about it for a moment and said, "Sure."
Kid, you're lucky. I haven't even had the chance to take care of my son yet.
I got two lunches and brought them back to the office, but the soccer prodigy was still lying in bed, refusing to get up. Reluctantly, I had to let him eat in bed. I handed him the food and chopsticks, but he just stared at the lunchbox in his hand and wouldn't touch the food.
"Why aren't you eating?" I asked him.
He blinked and looked at me.
Wait a minute! Damn it, does he not know how to use chopsticks?
I'm not doing that. I picked up the phone and dialed "Brother Ba's" extension. His department's "mistress" said that "Brother Ba" had gone out for dinner.
"uncle!"
"uncle!"
Okay, I surrender.
"uncle!"
I swore in my heart that I would never be curious about children again. Children are all demons in human form!
I finally finished feeding the young soccer player, but before I could even sit down, this little emperor started talking again.
"uncle!"
"What?" I asked him in a rather rude tone.
"I need to use the restroom!"
Go, go to the toilet?
"My stomach hurts, ouch, ouch!!"
In a flurry, I scooped up the young soccer player and rushed to the bathroom. Just as I was about to open the office door, I realized something was wrong and quickly put him back on the bed. His clothes... he wasn't dressed yet!
"Uncle, my stomach hurts so much! Oh no, I need to poop!"
"Okay, okay, right away, right away."
After dressing him, I immediately rushed to the toilet.
After he finished, he stuck out his little bottom.
"what?"
"Wipe your butt!"
"You don't know how?"
"My mom usually wipes it for me."
I'm not your mother. Resigned, she picked up some toilet paper and wiped his bottom.
Kid, when you grow up, don't forget that there was once an unlucky doctor who wiped your butt!
Anqi
In the afternoon, after taking the soccer prodigy to the dentist, I went back to my own department to get busy. After checking on several patients, I approved the discharge of a few. I was busy until after 4 p.m., and I would have forgotten about it if the head of the dental department hadn't called to ask me to pick up my child. I called "Brother Ba's" office, and his department's "little sister" said he was on a date with "Lily Chou-Chou".
"Myna" is really kind of her, leaving this little kid for me to take care of.
After bringing the soccer prodigy home, I planned to call his family using the phone number on his medical record card and have them come pick him up. Just as I picked up the phone, the kid grabbed my coat and tugged at it forcefully.
"Uncle, please don't call my home."
"Why?" Is no one home?
“My grandfather will be worried.”
"Then call your mom's cell phone. What's her number?"
"Mom doesn't have a cell phone; she's at work."
"And what about your father?" I didn't realize I had asked a question I shouldn't have.
He lowered his head, his right foot kicking the ground intermittently.
"Where's your dad? What's his phone number? I'll have him come pick you up."
Dr. Qian, a colleague from the same department, also came over to help ask him for his father's phone number. Dr. Qian's child was already in junior high school, and he had his own methods for dealing with children.
A kid the age of Captain Tsubasa should be able to say his home address and phone number, as well as his parents' phone numbers. I don't believe his parents didn't teach him.
Asking like this wouldn't get me anywhere, so I just called "Brother Ba" on his cell phone and asked him for the phone number of Captain Tsubasa's family so they could pick up the kids.
Mynah's phone rang for a long time before he answered. I explained the situation to him. The child wouldn't let me call home because he said his grandfather would worry. His mother doesn't have a phone and is at work, so his father has to come and pick him up.