I'll sell my clothes and get some wine to drink with you

Chapter 23

I suddenly felt very tired, so I stood up and walked outside.

Qing Jiu quickly said, "You're not going to eat—"

“Palace Mistress,” I interrupted, “you’ve only shown me one problem: if you’re being nice to me, don’t be too obvious. Next time, remember to be more natural.”

Without looking back, I walked out of the hall.

The White Merchants Festival has truly arrived. Autumn colors adorn the old sycamore trees.

Thirty cups of Cao Shen wine

Cao Shen Wine: First, I drank Wenjun wine, then Cao Shen wine. Mi Heng, after waking from his wine, overturned the spring bottle, just like a beautiful woman returning with her jade-like face.

...

The leaves of the paulownia tree by the well rustle with the sounds of autumn.

I sat cross-legged in the corridor, looking up at the empty courtyard shrouded in low-hanging clouds.

A cold rain suddenly fell.

The raindrops, seemingly falling from the sky, appeared out of nowhere, yet they scattered and shattered on the ground like moths to a flame, endless and continuous. The trees in the courtyard stood silent in the rain, old leaves constantly being knocked to the ground, stained with water, their color deepening.

The rain gradually intensified, and the drizzling rain and rising mist slowly became clearer. A single falling sycamore leaf heralds autumn, a single banana leaf brings a touch of sorrow.

Suddenly, I felt a dryness in my throat, as if I wanted to drink something. I reached out and touched the side, but there was nothing there, so I withdrew my hand and continued to look at the desolate autumn rain outside the corridor.

Suddenly, a sorrowful west wind arose, and the eaves railings under the roof creaked in the wind. The old trees rustled, as if sighing. The withered lotus leaves in the pond still held their heads high, as if listening to the rain while shedding tears.

The cold wind blew the cold rain at an angle, all rushing towards me as I sat upright in the courtyard. The fine rain, like needles and threads, fell on my face and body in strands. It didn't hurt, just felt cold, cold to the bone.

I sat in the rain, not wanting to move, my whole body gradually getting soaked, but all I wanted to do was sit there in the rain, until I grew old, until I died.

But suddenly a large patch of deep purple fell before my eyes, so close, shielding me from the rain and allowing me to clearly see the cloud and water patterns on the wide sleeves.

I didn't turn around, but tried to open my eyes wide to look at the gloomy sky through the edge of the sleeve.

Amidst the patter of raindrops, the sound from behind was faint, thin, and fragile, vanishing instantly into the boundless rain.

“…I’m sorry,” Qingjiu said.

The three words were right next to my ear, but they seemed to come from a very, very far place, slowly, slowly I heard them, slowly, slowly striking my chest, making my ears ring.

The world before me was like a traditional Chinese ink painting, washed by the autumn rain, beginning to blur and become indistinct in the boundless mist. It was as if the sky and earth had never existed; all that remained was the cold, falling rain and this small corridor.

"This is the first time Palace Master Qing has apologized to me," I replied with a smile. "Could it also be the first time in your life that you've ever apologized?"

"Didn't you promise me you'd call me Qingjiu?"

“Palace Mistress Qing, I know this won’t be the first time, so you don’t need to put on an act anymore,” I said suddenly, lowering my head. “Besides… you haven’t done anything to wrong me.”

I hate to admit it, but in this whole affair, right after he apologized, the first thing that came to my mind was how he didn't come to rescue me after I was kidnapped because of important matters. I feel ashamed of this thought; I don't know why I thought of it, or why I feel so ashamed. He had no obligation to save me, and I doubt anyone would think that Qing Guyi, who shone so brightly in the Qishan martial arts competition, would need someone to save him.

"I didn't—"

"Palace Master Qing, since our Thousand Years Sect has accepted your money, we will definitely do as you ask, provided that it does not harm the interests of the Thousand Years Sect. If possible, please tell me your plans in advance next time, and I will cooperate actively. Of course, it doesn't matter if you don't trust me."

After I finished speaking, I wiped the rain off my face, stood up, and was about to walk to the other end of the corridor when my wrist was suddenly grabbed. The hand on my wrist was extremely cold, and the fingertips felt like ice against my skin.

I was about to shake him off, but I suddenly turned around, looked straight at Qingjiu, and blurted out, as if possessed, "Actually, you made a very good point."

I saw Qingjiu suddenly open her eyes wide, the last glimmer of light in her pupils vanishing in an instant, and the hand clenched around her wrist trembled slightly.

I know he understood that I was referring to what he said to me in Hanyang: "So you've never believed me again."

Qingjiu's face was pale, and she pursed her lips. "...Actually, you didn't do anything wrong."

And I also know that he meant this was the first time in his life he had apologized.

It's as if suddenly, we can easily understand each other's thoughts, just like how I quickly guessed his thoughts in this matter.

I don't know if it was because I understood his words so quickly, or because of the meaning of those words themselves, but I suddenly felt a surge of irritation. Something seemed to be pressing on my chest, making it hard to breathe. I flung Qingjiu's hand away, turned, and strode away.

It might also be because, in the last glance I saw him, I noticed that Qingjiu was soaking wet, staring blankly at me with very pale lips.

...

Three days later, Shen Yufeng's carriage bound for the capital was robbed, and everyone was shocked to discover that it was the work of Guanzhong Sword King Ziwei. The next day, a servant found the Bajiquan scroll in Ziwei's room, and Ziwei's pretext of pursuing Jiang Xinyan was exposed, causing an uproar in the martial arts world. Various speculations arose, and rumors spread that Ziwei was actually an accomplice of Jiang Xinyan. News of Ziwei's secret intrusion into Tian Shu Palace to rescue Jiang Xinyan also "coincidentally" appeared, thus sealing Ziwei's reputation as a hypocrite and inciting many martial arts heroes who had been robbed by Jiang Xinyan to hunt him down.

Half a month later, Ziwei was besieged on Dragon Tooth Peak, at his wit's end. Qingjiu and I were also present.

Standing in the crowd, watching Ziwei's bloodshot eyes, I felt a strange sense of sorrow, a feeling of shared loss and despair. But I forced myself to stay and watch, because this was not the end; it was something happening in many other places as well. The martial world is filled with collusion and plunder driven by self-interest.

To survive in the martial arts world, one must be strong, have powerful backers, be able to handle various interests, and be able to restrain oneself at all times. But to survive in this way is merely existing.

All the talk of chivalry and revenge, of helping those in need, is just legend in novels and plays. This realistic and naked world of martial arts is truly despairing, yet people still have to stay in it, because the world of martial arts is a place of no return.

It's really exhausting.

"Sell clothes, sell clothes..."

I looked up and realized that Qing Jiu had called me several times. I forced a smile and said, "I'm so sorry, Palace Master Qing, I was just lost in thought."

Qingjiu looked at me for a long time and remained silent for a long time. Just as she was about to speak, I interrupted her, "Ever since Ziwei fell in love with Jiang Xinyan and couldn't control his feelings, his fate was already sealed. You just accelerated it. For the sake of Tian Shu Palace's interests, you did nothing wrong, and nobody did anything wrong. It's just a matter of the winner taking all."

So I'm not strong enough right now. I can't change anything, and I can't even control myself. So now I should watch closely and push myself to become stronger.

Ziwei suddenly threw his head back and laughed wildly, a ferocious grin spreading across his face as he muttered a name. He left a trail of bloody tears, then turned and jumped off the cliff. He clearly understood that everything was a conspiracy by the Tian Shu Palace, yet he still couldn't let go of his feelings for Jiang Xinyan, even though she had deceived him from beginning to end, from life to death.

For a moment, all was silent atop Dragon Tooth Peak.

However, not long after, amidst a chorus of sighs, the so-called martial arts heroes, each with their own ulterior motives, dispersed like a group of spectators, leaving me standing there, while Qingjiu remained.

An hour later, Jiang Xinyan arrived. She bowed to Qingjiu and then jumped off the top of Dragon Tooth Peak.

She was a smart and proud woman. She knew that Ziwei would never believe her again, and she didn't want her feelings to be questioned.

Ziwei died because of cold-blooded self-interest, but also because of this beautiful emotion. The world of mortals is truly a place where ruthlessness is intertwined with compassion, and people are part of that world, where ruthlessness is also intertwined with compassion.

I felt a bit dazed. The people who had held a sword to my neck, the people who had schemed against me, one was the Sword King of Guanzhong, the other was the number one female thief in the martial arts world. They were both famous and lived such vivid lives. Suddenly, they disappeared and ceased to exist in this mortal world.

Life, indeed, cannot be promised.

A sharp voice came from behind, "Go down the cliff and collect their bodies for a joint burial."

Chi Tian accepted the order and withdrew.

I seemed not to hear anything and walked straight to the edge of the cliff. Facing the sheer drop above the vast blue sky, all I could see was the insignificance of life.

Knowing that Qingjiu had also come over, I slowly began to speak, “I always thought that I was still young and had plenty of time, but now I realize that my unfounded certainty about life is a joke. I never know if I will still be alive in the next moment, or if I will still want to live.”

I turned to look at the silent Qingjiu. “Every moment of life is fleeting and precious, so I will not resent or hate you. Let’s get along well in the coming year. Let bygones be bygones.”

A fierce wind howled past, and our clothes fluttered in the wind. On the cliff top, in the boundless expanse, in the desolate expanse, there were only him and me.

I suddenly reached out and tucked Qingjiu's disheveled hair behind his ear. This was the first time I had ever touched him on my own initiative, so Qingjiu was slightly taken aback.

I smiled at him and whispered, "Kindness, you still have feelings after all, and you're capable of doing foolish things."

"...So there are some things I may never tell you in my entire life."

Thirty-one cups of Dukang wine

Dukang wine: I poured a stone of Dukang wine, and my heart was intoxicated, yet sorrow still met me; the price of wine on the street is often bitterly expensive, and few wine lovers in the secluded world sleep soundly in their drunken stupor.

...

Back at Tian Shu Palace, I began practicing swordsmanship day and night. The fourth move of the Sword Technique for the Emperor has the general principle: "A single sun rises to the heavens in an instant, chasing away the stars and the waning moon." It uses the sword light to simulate the rays of sunrise, expressing the domineering and fearless power of a ray of sunlight dispelling boundless darkness. Unfortunately, the sky was always overcast during this period, and I could hardly see the sun, which made it impossible for me to grasp the essence of the sword technique. I had no choice but to keep practicing other sword techniques.

Later, as he practiced, he felt that he was not making any progress, so he began to think about finding someone to practice with. Just then, Bai Ya arrived.

He sat down at a table on one side of the courtyard, holding two boxes of chess pieces and a chessboard, and shouted, "Hurry up and come play chess with me!"

Ever since he caught me and Hua Cuitie that day, he insisted that we were having an affair and threatened to tell Hua Mei unless I taught him how to play chess. I was afraid of trouble, and to prevent him from going out and saying that the white side was the black side, I agreed. From then on, Bai Ya came to play chess with me every few days, and his progress was quite fast.

My eyes lit up. I didn't move, but called out to Baiya, "You practice your moves with me first, and then I'll play chess with you."

"Hey, what kind of rule is this?" Bai Ya put his hands on his hips like an old man. "What moves are you practicing? Let's play chess, or I'll go find Hua Mei."

“Then go ahead,” I said without hesitation.

"You—" Bai Ya angrily slammed the chess box and board onto the table, then regretted hitting it too hard, and even affectionately touched it before walking fiercely toward me, "Qing Guyi, you're ruthless!"

I exchanged dozens of blows with Bai Ya, and I realized that he actually only used two moves: one was defense, where he used his iron-bone fan to block my sword; the other was offense, where he would retreat to avoid my sword and then fling the iron-bone fan, which would sweep through the air towards my blind spot. It wasn't entirely pointless, but thinking about it, in the two years I've been traveling the martial world, I've only ever seen one person use a fan like him, and I doubt I'll encounter many more in the future. There wasn't much point in me sparring with him like this.

Thinking of this, I quickly stepped back, stopped what I was doing, and said, "Baiya, you are more familiar with Qianlou. If you can persuade him to practice swordsmanship with me, I will play chess with you tonight."

"You said it yourself, a woman's word is her bond!" Bai Ya was quite decisive, turning around and leaving.

I wiped the sweat from my brow with my sleeve, gulped down a few mouthfuls of tea, and thought it wouldn't be long, but I waited for a full half hour before I saw Bai Ya bring someone in.

Upon closer inspection, it was Qingjiu.

I opened my mouth, but didn't know what to say. Qingjiu just watched me silently.

Since leaving Longya Peak, I've spent my days either practicing swordsmanship in the courtyard or wandering aimlessly in the Wuling Mountains. In the past half month, I've only seen Qingjiu a handful of times, and we've barely exchanged a few words. It would be a lie to say I wasn't avoiding him. But unexpectedly, it's now him practicing swordsmanship with me.

Bai Ya was completely oblivious to the slightly awkward atmosphere and explained to me, "When I arrived, I found out that Qian Lou had just gone out on business. He saw that the master was free, so he invited him over. Well, the master also practices swordsmanship, and he's much better than Qian Lou. I've met my expectations. He'll come to play chess with you tonight, so you can't make any excuses."

I chuckled dryly and said, "Definitely, definitely," then turned to face Qing Jiu, drew my sword, but remained silent for a moment before finally whispering, "Palace Mistress Qing, please."

I didn't expect to beat Qing Jiu at all, but he was very cooperative. He used the Seven Stars Eight Forms from the very first form, while I used the Cross Seal first, and then started using the Sword Technique of the King. We practiced from the first form to the third form, and it took us almost two hours.

Fearing we might damage the courtyard, we moved to another spot. Even without using my full strength, it was enough to leave me exhausted and drenched in sweat. After thanking them, I returned to the courtyard, where a maid informed me that the hot water was ready. I was puzzled but didn't ask any further questions. I comfortably soaked in the tub for a long time. As soon as I changed my clothes and went outside, the maid brought me a plate of autumn peaches. The peaches were red and tender, still glistening with dew, clearly freshly picked. I asked her who had sent them, and the maid replied that it was the Palace Mistress.

I was speechless for a moment. Then the maid said that I had just finished practicing martial arts, so I should eat some fruit first, and then eat my meal. The palace master also instructed Bai Ya that because I was not strong enough, he should come to find me again tomorrow.

After the maid left, I stared at the several large peaches for a long time, hesitating for a while before taking one and tentatively taking a bite. It was crisp, sweet, and exceptionally delicious. Plus, I was starving, so I devoured all the peaches in no time. Later, I couldn't eat dinner and went to bed early.

...

I probably went to bed too early, because I had dreams again last night.

I was sitting under a peach tree, lost in thought, when a voice came from behind me: "Hey, it's you again?"

Turning around, I saw a giant peach as big as a small mountain. The peach even had facial features, with its eyes turned up.

I screamed and stumbled backward, pleading, "Fat Peach Spirit!? Ahhh, please don't eat me!"

"Fat Peach Spirit!?" The fat peach jumped up in anger. "You dare call me fat! Besides, I was just bluffing you. Who told you to be so weak and faint? If I had really eaten you, would you still be here!"