I'll sell my clothes and get some wine to drink with you

Chapter 28

“…Mmm.” I nodded vigorously, holding her hand.

"Hehe, tell me, how are you going to repay me?" Li Yiyao grinned wickedly.

"Speak, what do you want?"

She grabbed my clothes and looked at me with wide, pleading eyes. "Guyi... I'm hungry."

I took her to the kitchen and stole a lot of food. We then huddled on the eaves and chatted for a long time. The day passed just like that. This was probably the most relaxing day I had on Tian Shu Peak.

We were gossiping in bed again in the middle of the night. Li Yiyao hugged me and kept cursing Qing Jiuzhi, saying that a woman's temper changes faster than turning the pages of a book. I smiled and asked her, "What about Lu Wen? Did you send her any messages or anything afterward?"

Li Yiyao awkwardly turned over and hummed twice, saying, "How could I, this old lady, do something so degrading? Since that blockhead won't get it, I won't hang myself on that crooked tree."

"Oh, I see," I sighed loudly on purpose, "It's a pity I was hoping to take some time off after the Double Ninth Festival to go with you to the vicinity of Qinghong Manor. In that case, then—"

"Ahem," Li Yiyao quickly turned around, "Actually, it's not bad to go to Yangzhou for fun since we finally got out of town this time."

We exchanged a knowing, lewd laugh, then closed our eyes and went to sleep.

There's no denying that sleeping next to a beautiful woman is truly different; I woke up feeling incredibly refreshed the next morning. After lunch, Huamei came to invite us to go hiking and admire the chrysanthemums.

There weren't many people—Qingjiu, the four protectors, elders, and some senior disciples, about fifty in total. It turned out that a mountain near Tian Shu Peak was covered in wild chrysanthemums, and we slowly made our way up the mountain path. The autumn air was crisp and clear, the mountainside was covered in wild chrysanthemums, and in the distance, red maple leaves added to the vibrant colors—truly a feast for the eyes.

Before long, they began distributing dogwood for people to wear. Li Yiyao and I happily wore them together, but then we felt that just the "Evil-Repelling Old Man" wasn't enough, so we picked a chrysanthemum, also known as the "Longevity Guest," from the roadside and pinned it in our hair. After doing this, many people began to imitate us. After Huamei failed to put a chrysanthemum in Qianlou's hair, she stuck it in Baiya's hair. Although Baiya stared at her, the smile on his lips was still very obvious.

Qing Jiu, who was at the very front, seemed to glance back at me, or maybe not. I didn't dare look again and quickly turned around to take Li Yiyao's arm, pointing here and there, until we slowly fell to the back of the line.

When we reached the top of the mountain, we stopped on a flat area, set up curtains, tables and chairs, and laid out chrysanthemum wine and Double Ninth cakes. Our Thousand-Year Clan loves to show off its wealth, but in reality, we are quite stingy. We have never been so particular about festivals before. I quickly sat down, picked up a piece of the exquisitely beautiful Double Ninth cake, and examined it. There were some coriander leaves stuck on the cake as a mark. In the middle, there were coarse dried fruits such as green plums, small dates, and walnuts. I ate another piece. This time, each layer had finer candied fruits and dried fruits in between, such as apple preserves, peach preserves, apricot preserves, and black dates. Li Yiyao and I were immediately tempted and ate five or six pieces in a row.

Then she saw a commotion not far away. It turned out that they were going to fly kites. Li Yiyao immediately put down the Chongyang cake, squeezed in and grabbed the biggest one. She said triumphantly, "Grandma will definitely fly it the highest!" Then she started running around with the string, completely ignoring that she had just eaten so much.

Too lazy to move, I sat and watched for a while, then smiled and looked down. Unexpectedly, I saw the pot of chrysanthemum wine on the table.

Instinctively, I wanted to push it aside, but as soon as my hand touched the handle, I inexplicably picked up the wine pot.

Having no idea what he was doing, he had already raised his head and was looking around, as if looking for someone. Yes, who was he looking for?

I pursed my lips, suddenly felt extremely thirsty, and raised the wine pot to drink it all in one gulp.

"Not enough..." He drank Li Yiyao's wine as well, but still felt it wasn't enough, so he got up and searched each table, drinking all the wine of the people who went to fly kites, before he felt a little better.

The wine went down my throat, leaving me feeling completely cold.

A wave of nausea immediately washed over me. I covered my mouth and rushed into a grove of trees, squatted down, and dry heaved for a while, but nothing came out.

I chuckled self-deprecatingly, then suddenly reached out and ripped off the dogwood and wild chrysanthemums from my clothes, throwing them forcefully to the ground. After catching my breath for a while, I finally calmed down, wiped my lips with my sleeve, and as soon as I turned around, I saw the person who had been standing in front of me for who knows how long.

The autumn sun was extremely bleak, offering no warmth whatsoever when it shone on me.

The person in front of me looked down at me slightly, pursed their thin lips, expressionless, but their face was somewhat stiff, and their eyelashes drooped like fragrant fans, obscuring their phoenix eyes.

I glanced coldly at Qingjiu, said nothing, and walked past him, but then stopped, frowned, turned around, and spoke indifferently.

"...Qingjiu, you coward."

...

A gust of wind swept across the hillside again, causing the wild chrysanthemums and wildflowers all over the slope to bend down, making a sound like waves. Many branches were swept high into the air, and the wind filtered through the evergreen leaves, creating a continuous rustling sound, like the sound of tears falling.

My hair was blown around my eyes, and my eyes reddened, but I wasn't about to cry. I just stared blankly at the person in front of me with their clothes fluttering in the wind.

"You've been so good to me, wasn't it all just to make me fall for you? And now that you've succeeded, isn't it perfect time to make good use of me, the next head of the Thousand-Year Sect? Why are you giving up now? Do you think it's too humiliating for you—"

"—What are you saying?" Qing Jiu's long, ink-painted eyebrows furrowed deeply, and his voice was much louder than usual, containing a hint of anger. "I never intended to use you."

"So, tell me why. If you were nice to me before not because you were using me, then you must like me, right?" I said with a cold smile.

Qing Jiu stared at me, her body stiff, her face pale.

Before he could speak, I continued, "Then, after I confessed to you that night, you went back to being indifferent and kept avoiding me. Did you hate me? Did you feel disgusted that I liked you?"

"without--"

“Qingjiu,” I straightened up, raised my head and looked straight at the person in front of me, into his dark eyes, and slowly said, “You’re not the only one who’s proud, Qingjiu, and don’t expect to keep hurting me for your own sake. I don’t care what you’re hiding from, but none of that matters to me anymore.”

I said slowly and deliberately, "From now on, I will no longer like you, like a selfish coward. Take care, Palace Master."

I loosened my grip on my hand, my nails digging deep into my palm, and turned to face away from the woods. Before I could take a step, my wrist was suddenly gripped tightly, and I was pulled back in an instant—

The next moment I was pulled into a warm embrace. The autumn wind was so cold that the warmth felt like a brand on my skin, making me shiver.

The sensation on my lips instantly reminded me of that dreamlike kiss from that night, and I could almost smell the faint scent of peach blossoms in my breath.

For the first time, I looked at this person so closely. I could see the fine wrinkles between his tightly furrowed brows, the autumn sunlight resting on his long eyelashes, and the darkness in his eyes, like a silent black lake.

Like a spark, the burning sensation on my lips made me feel like I was made of paper, and I burst into flames. In a moment of suffocation, I almost burned to ashes. I wondered if this man could hold onto me, instead of letting me be blown away by the wind and cease to exist.

Heaven knows if Qingjiu knew what I was thinking. The next moment, in the moment when I was hopeless and powerless, he pulled me into his arms.

At this moment, all things in heaven and earth, including my own humble and sorrowful self, lost their breath.

Thirty-eight cups of Qingtian wine

Qingtian wine, a wine so delicious it makes you forget your worries; as the sun sets in the west, guests forget to return home.

...

The withered branches soared high in the clear, clean sky like slender birds, barely gliding past in the autumn wind.

I looked at Qingjiu's face so close to mine, and my mind belatedly went blank. My hand trembled, and I tried to push him away, but his body was as solid as iron and I couldn't budge him an inch.

I don't know if I felt suffocated because of dizziness, or if I felt dizzy while suffocating. The edges and corners in front of me began to float and blur, and everything seemed to ripple like the surface of water, appearing so unreal.

Just as I was instinctively reaching for anything I could touch, like a drowning person, Qingjiu let go of me.

I stared at him dumbfounded.

His lips were crimson, which made his face appear even paler. He looked down at me as if he wanted to see me as a speck of dust on his eyelashes. It took me a while before I heard his voice, "...I never thought you would fall in love with me."

"...So what?" Why can't I fall in love with you? Why...can't we be together?

He released his hand from my shoulder, and in that instant I saw his finger bones protruding beneath his thin skin.

“Gu Yi, do you know that it was on the cliff behind Tian Shu Palace that my father pushed my mother off the cliff with his own hands, in order to protect Tian Shu Palace?”

Qingjiu looked at me and spoke softly, his voice gentle and fragile. I stared at him blankly, unable to utter a single word.

In that instant, I was reminded of a night when I walked out of the woods and saw the moonlight shining brightly. Qingjiu was sitting on the cliff, drinking with his head down, his cold purple clothes clinging to the ground like cold water.

"Therefore, someone like me, the son of Qinglang and the master of Tian Shu Palace, even if I were to love someone, I would not be able to overcome my obsession with Tian Shu Palace. I don't want to hurt you in the future, I don't want to... repeat my father's mistakes."

"Why...you don't have to be like—" You don't have to kill me like your father did. I am the future leader of the Thousand Years Sect. I can even help you. We won't be like your parents, we won't...

However, even without Qingjiu's interruption, I couldn't bring myself to say these words, which lacked conviction. He was able to kill me only because I saved him, so why wouldn't he do it again for the sake of Tian Shu Palace? Can the coldness passed down from father to son really be erased by the slightest bit of affection between us...?

The hearts of those born under heaven are destined to be cold and unfettered.

"……Feel sorry."

I had to drink to gain courage, but in the end, all I got were these two words.

I looked up and smiled at Qingjiu.

He quickly looked away, turned and hurried away, his steps faltering almost imperceptibly.

A sorrowful west wind rises, a vast expanse of frosty sky, quiet and desolate.

I didn't turn around to look at his back. I just stood there blankly for a while, and then suddenly sat down on the ground. I felt cold on the cold mountain in late autumn, having left the warmth of my body. I curled up, hugged my knees, and buried my face in them. I don't even know if I shed any tears.

I'm just tired, so tired that I don't want to stand up anymore and face this heartless and indifferent world that leaves me helpless.

...

I cannot deny that my behavior of asking Huamei to ask for leave for me and then rushing down the mountain with Li Yiyao without waiting for a reply was indeed what is called "fleeing for my life".

After learning the secret of Qinglang's murder of his beloved wife, many things became clear. For example, Qingjiu's always cold eyes, her aloof attire, and her final rejection of me and us. As a young man, I felt powerless and helpless, lacking the courage to cross the chasm. I didn't know what I could do to make things difficult for myself and Qingjiu, forcing him to choose between my future in Tian Shu Palace and my choice. Whatever the outcome, it would be cruel.

A few days later, in an inn in a small town outside the Wuling Mountains, I had a dream at night.

In my dreams, I walked alone through bustling streets, passing strangers with all sorts of expressions; I sailed alone across rivers, my clothes soaked by the wind and rain as I watched the tides rise; I traversed mountains alone, always cold in the mountains. I squatted by the water's edge, watching the mountain streams carry pebbles day after day. Occasionally, a monk would come to fetch water and give me a kind smile, but I would never see him again. Perhaps because of the constant wandering, I often fell ill, brewing my own medicine. When I was too weak, I would lie down, and the illness would slowly heal itself. I was always alone, traversing most of the mountains, leaving only my two footprints. Finally, I died under an old peach tree in the mountains. Leaves slowly drifted down and covered me, one landing on my wrinkled forehead. And then I woke up.

From youth to old age, from birth to death, the dream is complete, even perfect, yet also very lonely.

I don't know why I have such lonely dreams even when I'm sleeping next to Li Yiyao. Maybe it's because I know that she will get married and be happy with that person. No matter how close we are, she can't stay with me forever. I still have to walk my own path.

Unable to fall asleep, I pushed open the window and jumped onto the roof. A light frost covered the tiles, and it was a little cold sitting there. The Milky Way was silent, the moonlight like water, and the low-hanging night sky draped in a hazy, shimmering light, seemingly separated by a vast distance yet so close. There was no wind, and the shadowy tree forms seemed frozen in time, as if asleep.

A person traveling across this vast land, if they could carry a flute and wine, could roam freely, indulging in the beauty of nature, utterly alone, living a solitary life—thinking about it that way, it wouldn't be bad. Unfortunately, I bear the burden of the entire Thousand-Year Sect, destined to never even have such a life.

I suddenly felt that it was a bit of a shame that there was no wine at this moment.

So what about the person who always suffers from insomnia at night? When someone sits at a high place, in the silent depths of the night, does he often feel sentimental and melancholic?

No one knows, much less respond to, my thoughts at this moment; only the cold, indifferent moonlight falls upon my forehead.

Suddenly a wind rose, and the night wind seemed to make the moonlight on the frost-covered tiles seem to flow, and I, in this vast expanse of flowing waves, did not know where I would be carried.

Life is like a journey, and I am but a traveler.

...

The next day, I set off as if it were all a dream. Yi Yao didn't notice anything unusual either. We continued our journey eastward happily, taking the waterway. Coincidentally, we ran into Tie Cuihua. It turned out that this group of river pirates had moved from west of Hanyang to the east, saying that business was better there.

This time, we suddenly reconciled, a big pot of fresh fish soup made up for all our grudges, and Tie Cuihua even took us across a stretch of water for free. These past few days, Li Yiyao and Tie Cuihua have gotten along very well, and the two even became sworn sisters. Li Yiyao even said that if she were ever kicked out of the Thousand-Year Sect, she would come and work for Tie Cuihua, and in the future, she would become a formidable female bandit leader. I sat on the side watching the ever-happy and carefree Aunt Li, and laughed and echoed her words, making it almost as if I wanted to send a letter to the Thousand-Year Sect and stay there forever after being kicked out of the sect.

After a bumpy ride of more than a month, we finally arrived in Yangzhou.

Winter was approaching, and Yangzhou, appearing simple and elegant in the cold, resembled a painting.

The city is bustling and densely populated, with neat streets stretching for hundreds of miles and more than ten thousand buildings standing in varying heights.

Before I could even take a closer look, Li Yiyao grabbed my arm. "Let's go, let's go to Qinghong Manor!"

"Just like that!? We need to come up with an excuse!" I said helplessly as I was being dragged behind.

"That's true..." Aunt Li stopped and pondered these mundane matters. Not long after, she looked at me expectantly and asked for my help.

I rolled my eyes, about to speak, when my expression suddenly changed. I pointed to a spot on the street and said, "...Look."

At a street stall, a beautiful woman was picking out bracelets, occasionally turning back to ask the seemingly honest young man behind her a question. The young man just kept nodding, and the woman grew impatient, tossing the bracelet aside and turning to leave. Both of them wore wooden hairpins in their hair, which vaguely resembled the shape of a flying swan.

It was Qu Qingqing and Lu Wen.

Li Yiyao, who had traveled a long way to get here, was clearly enraged when she saw this scene. She stood on the street with her hands on her hips and began to roar like a lioness: "You damned adulterers, stop right there!"