Peach Blossoms - Chapter 49
I took it up to look at it with a puzzled expression. There were five words written on it: "To be opened by Si Junxing personally."
He opened it and read it quickly. He looked up at the man in black and said, "Report to your master that I will be on time."
After the man in black disappeared, Si Junxing carefully read the letter again. His hand fell to his sides, unable to suppress the trembling in his heart. He looked up at the still clear sky, a long-lost smile gently curving his lips.
I want to see you. Two days later, at Chenshi (7-9 AM), in Peach Blossom Grove. Written by Lin Suyang.
It was her handwriting. He had seen her write so many poems. He remembered every posture, every expression, and the stroke of each character she wrote. He remembered the distance between each character's favorite pause clearly. If there was anyone in the world who would never mistake Lin Suyang's handwriting, it was undoubtedly Si Junxing.
Two days later, in Peach Blossom Forest, she finally remembered.
Lin Suyang sat in the carriage, her hands clasped tightly together, soon breaking out in a fine sweat. Listening to the rumble of the carriage wheels on the road, her heart rose and fell with it, as if someone inside was pounding a deafening drum.
The carriage stopped on the official road outside Peach Blossom Forest, and Lin Suyang got out. He looked back and then said to the coachman, "Go and tell them they don't need to follow me in."
The coachman hesitated, "But my master..."
"Do as I say, or I'd rather die than go back," Lin Suyang said coldly.
The coachman quickly bowed his head and replied, "Yes."
Seeing the carriage that brought her disappear into the distance, Lin Suyang straightened her clothes, looked at the peach grove in front of her, and walked slowly towards it.
Lin Suyang wondered if Si Junxing had suffered in prison, what he planned to do after his release, and whether he would hate her for forgetting him, for forgetting her promise to him. She walked deeper into the woods and stopped at the edge of a clearing.
In the center of the open space stood a large rock, upon which sat a person. The person wore a dark blue robe, his long hair tied back with a blue ribbon, his bangs flowing backward in the wind. His face was as clear and bright as jade, with phoenix eyes and slanted eyebrows, and a smile that inexplicably curved his lips, shone brilliantly even in the bright sunlight. Who else could this person be but Si Junxing?
Lin Suyang watched in stunned silence. No wonder he had always thought Feng Hanyu resembled him. They were twin brothers, truly both prodigies.
In a daze, Si Junxing had already sensed her arrival and quickly appeared in front of her.
"How much longer are you planning to stay, my wife?" The familiar tone, the familiar scent, the familiar face—why couldn't she remember him as clearly as she did now?
Si Junxing looked at her, sighed, and pulled her into his arms: "Do you know how hard I've waited for this day?"
Slowly raising her hand, Lin Suyang wrapped it around his waist, rested her head on his warm chest, and whispered, "I know."
A moment of silence followed, neither of them speaking. Si Junxing held her tightly, as if he would never let go. Lin Suyang felt his trembling, and instead of offering comfort, she simply moved closer to him.
Finally, Si Junxing let go of her hand and walked towards the large rock. He turned around, picked her up, and leaped onto it. He blew on the rock before pulling her down to sit.
"Child, are you alright?" Si Junxing asked, holding her hand in his.
Lin Suyang paused for a moment before replying, "Okay."
"What's your name?"
“Qin Xiao. The xiao of the Golden Satin Jade Flute,” Lin Suyang said.
“Golden Satin Jade Flute…truly a royal name.” Si Junxing said somewhat forlornly, thinking that he had also given his unborn child a beautiful name more than half a year ago, but unfortunately, it would never be used.
Another silence fell; no one wanted to speak, afraid that what they were about to say would shatter the beautiful moment. But ultimately, the truth had to be faced.
"Will you... come with me?" Si Junxing gazed into the distance, yet still held Lin Suyang's hand tightly. Only the blue knuckles of his fingers, clenched so tightly, revealed the tension in his heart.
Lin Suyang turned her head to carefully examine his features, wanting to etch his face deeply into her heart, just like before those times she left him. She didn't want to miss a single detail. Suddenly, she broke free from his grasp, and to his astonishment, leaned forward and kissed his lips fiercely, a kiss so intense, yet so full of sorrow.
In an instant, despair filled Si Junxing's eyes. She had broken her promise once again. And this might be the last time, because it meant that everything between them was coming to an end, truly over.
He embraced her back, punishing her resolute decision with his remaining reason, their lips entwined with the most unbearable pain. Fallen leaves drifted down, their bleakness echoing the desolate season. The sky was no longer so blue; in the blink of an eye, dark clouds gathered, and bitter tears fell.
"I'm sorry," Lin Suyang said, looking into his eyes as she left him.
"I'm sorry? Is this all you've said to me?" Si Junxing said with a bitter smile. "Do you know how cruel you've been to me time and time again? You've always been like this, even though I'm willing to sacrifice everything for you. You only see others. Before, it was Qin Yu, the Lin family, and now, it's your child, Lin Suyang. I ask you, what do you really take me for?"
Si Junxing pushed her away, lowered his head, clenched his fists, and asked in a choked voice, "Did you ever love me?"
Lin Suyang lay prostrate on the large rock, choking back tears as she said, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."
“I don’t want to apologize. I just want to be with you, to find a quiet place to live. But why do you always give up such an opportunity? You have Qin Xiao in your heart, so what about me? Where am I?” Si Junxing looked up at her. “Sometimes I really want to dig your heart out and see if I really live in it. You have made me fall deeply in love with your sweet vows time and time again, and then I started to live in fear, afraid that one day you would just leave like this, leaving nothing behind.”
"You're already my wife, do you know that? Why do you always give me the feeling that it's all a dream?"
Si Junxing looked at her blankly, then reached out and pulled her into his arms again. He rested his head on her shoulder and murmured, "Su Yang, can we not be so sad? Can we not be so selfless? Can we just live for ourselves..."
Can we live for ourselves?
The thread of fate is in your own hands, but the trajectory of fate is an unchangeable destiny.
I promise you.
Lin Suyang lifted her head from Si Junxing's embrace and looked at him.
"I promise you I'll let you go back to Qin Hao, and I promise you I'll be a good mother. I'll agree to anything you decide." Si Junxing reached out and wiped away the tears on Lin Suyang's face. "But you must promise me you'll be alright." If it means you're tormented and suffering because of my feelings, then I'd rather let go and let you fly high.
He kissed her forehead and said, "Remember to smile more. You're a mother now, you can't be cold like before, it will scare the child. Also, don't worry too much about the Lin family. I believe your father isn't that incompetent. Don't reject Qin Hao's kindness anymore, he's also a devoted man..."
He could still recall Qin Hao's words to him when he came to the prison that day: "I gave her my heart, but she still only has eyes for you. I was wrong, wrong in forcing her, but it's too late." Too late, it's too late for anyone.
Si Junxing cupped Lin Suyang's face and said, "Remember my name, remember it, and never forget it again."
My name is Si Junxing. Remember it. My name is Si Junxing. Whether you remember me or not in the future, remember my name is Si Junxing...
Volume Four, Palace Absolute, Chapter 114: Not Speaking of Parting Sorrow
"Stay with me for the last day, okay? Just stay with me for the last day," Si Junxing said.
"good."
A horse galloped across the official road, oblivious to its surroundings, kicking up clouds of dust that drifted towards the gradually withering grass. Lin Suyang leaned against Si Junxing with her eyes closed, the wind whistling past her ears. It had been a long time since she had visited Chuyan Peak in Xiangkong Mountain.
Si Junxing led her through the dense forest, finally stopping beside a shallow pool. Seeing the once peaceful place transformed, Si Junxing felt a chill in his heart. Even this place had changed; truly, nothing lasts forever!
“…That’s all.” Si Junxing turned to Lin Suyang with a wry smile and said, “Do you…remember this place?”
Lin Suyang looked at the calm, still water in front of him, which shimmered with a cold light, and nodded, saying, "I remember, this is where I first met you." The first time I saw you lying here injured, the first time I got so close to you.
Si Junxing recalled how disheveled he must have looked back then. Even though he was wearing a mask, he still looked helpless. A small poisonous snake almost took his life.
"Actually, I was conscious at that time. I knew I had been bitten by a snake, and then I heard your footsteps, felt you sucking out the poison for me, and heard you say at the end, 'I saved your life, and you're giving me fruit as payment.' At that time, I thought to myself, this person is really strange. For a few fruits, he would risk danger to suck out the poison for a stranger. He's either a fool or a madman," Si Junxing said with a smile.
Lin Suyang laughed too, "Yes, I must have been crazy to risk my life to save you for a few fruits. If I had known this would happen, I should have pretended not to see you." Her smile faded, and she said, "That way, we wouldn't be so sad now, and you wouldn't be in pain because of me."
Si Junxing looked at her, then pulled her into his arms and whispered in her ear, "I'm so glad you didn't do that. Otherwise, my life would have no purpose, no future. And it would be too late for you to regret it."
Lin Suyang looked at the sky, hugged his waist and said, "It is indeed late... Since it's late, will you come with me to watch the sunset over Chu Yanfeng?"
Chu Yanfeng. Lin Suyang had visited this place only a handful of times. The feeling it evoked in her was that while it was beautiful, it always carried a tinge of melancholy. Perhaps one's mood truly influences their perception of things. Like now, even amidst dazzling splendor, it only added to her sense of melancholy.
Sitting on the cliff atop Chuyan Peak, Lin Suyang hugged his knees, staring blankly at the setting sun in the distance. Its multicolored light illuminated half the azure sky. He couldn't see the thick, heavy sea of clouds, but instead, withered branches and fallen leaves drifted and swirled in the wind. Autumn had arrived.
Lin Suyang turned her head and saw Si Junxing also mesmerized by the afterglow of the setting sun. His face showed no trace of sadness. She moved closer and leaned against his shoulder, her hands folded on her knees. They quietly admired the scenery. She had imagined this scene long ago. Now it had come true, but she never expected it to be their final farewell.
"What... will you do in the future?" Lin Suyang gazed at the horizon. Suddenly, the beautiful light seemed blinding.
"I want to go back to Yanliao."
Lin Suyang paused for a moment. Then he said, "Yes. I had forgotten that you were the Eighth Prince of Yanliao."
"I regret it so much." Si Junxing turned to look at her. "I regret why I left you. If I had insisted on staying by your side, things might not be like this today." Perhaps. Now they are living a good life in a beautiful place, their child is named after him, and his wife takes his surname.
Lin Suyang grabbed his hand and said, "It's not your fault, so you don't need to blame yourself. It's just that fate is too cruel. We are all helpless."
Suddenly, Qin Yu came to mind again. Despite her efforts, she couldn't save Lin Suyang's life. Although she harbored unusual feelings for Lin Suyang, she was the most heartbreaking person. Her persistence was admirable, but fate played a cruel joke. Her devoted heart was misplaced. In this turbulent world, how many men and women have fallen into the same predicament?
"Do you think we'll ever see each other again?" Lin Suyang asked, cupping Si Junxing's face in her hands.
"Of course I will. But if I'm too old and toothless by then, and look completely different, I don't know if you'll still recognize me," Si Junxing said with a smile. Lin Suyang looked at him silently, then pressed a kiss to his lips and said, "Yes, I will definitely recognize you. No matter what you look like, even if you've turned to ashes, I'll still recognize you. I'm waiting to meet you again in the next life, how could I forget?" Tears fell drop by drop, turning dark as they landed on Si Junxing's sleeve.
The withered flowers bloom again, their vibrant colors tinged with a profound sense of desolation. A mountain breeze stirs, carrying their intoxicating fragrance. Who has seen this blossoming amidst the despair of decay?
Si Junxing raised his hand and stroked her cheek, the rough lines of his fingers slightly stinging Lin Suyang's delicate skin. "Don't cry, I believe in you, in this life, the next life, and the life after that. If there is an afterlife, I won't come looking for you anymore, I will wait for you. I'm too tired from looking for you in this life, so in the next life, let it be your turn to look for me."
Lin Suyang nodded through her tears, which flowed like a burst dam. "If there is an afterlife, let me come back to find you..."
Looking in the mirror, doing her hair
Ears were dyed and painted with yellow flowers.
A red wedding dress
But I don't know who I'm dressing up for.
The lingering fragrance is faint, the bright moon shines clear.
Who will draw the eyebrows with white powder?
I do not remember my new husband in Luanli.
Walking on foot, under the blue tent
Holding the long silk ribbon, I bowed to my parents.
Everyone rejoiced, but the concubine was devastated.
Sighing, I sit alone in my empty room.
A soft hum echoed across the fields, a cool and distant melody.
Hearing the sound, I opened the window and leaned against the railing to look out.
Speechless, choked with sobs, tears streaming down her face.
Dusk, desolate
Farewell, newcomers, shed your radiant glow.
Lifting himself into the clear pool
Looking back to the southeast
My life ends today.
Soul Returns to Your Heart
If there is an afterlife
May we be a pair of mandarin ducks growing side by side.
If there is an afterlife, I wish to be a pair of mandarin ducks growing side by side. I am not Liu Lanzhi, you are not Jiao Zhongqing, the song "The Peacock Flies Southeast" sings of the sorrow of parting.
One went east, the other west, and they agreed not to look back. But Lin Suyang turned around as soon as she took her first step and hugged Si Junxing from behind, unwilling to let go for a long time.
Si Junxing said, "Let's go. Otherwise, I'll regret it." Let's go, don't look back, or I'll be even more heartbroken.
Releasing Lin Suyang's hand, Si Junxing walked forward step by step, his back gradually blurring Lin Suyang's vision until it was completely dark.
Lin Suyang returned to Qingxiang Palace indifferently. Like a lost soul, she walked aimlessly through the desolate hall towards her bedchamber. The moment she stepped into the room, someone grabbed her hand.