A Mortal's Love Across the Northern Song Dynasty

Chapter 10

She reached out and stopped his head from turning away, stroking his hair. "When...when did this happen?"

A few strands of silver hair had grown out of his temples, so conspicuous amidst his cascading black hair. He was only twenty years old; what could have made him so distressed? Was it because of me? The tears she had just stopped falling again. "Xiaoxiao, your cousin is fine. It's just a few gray hairs, nothing to worry about. Don't think about anything right now, just focus on getting better!"

"Cousin, what day of the month is it today?" "The fifth." The fifth. I've been sick for five days, and five days has made him suffer like this. "The fifth, then it'll be the eighth soon." In three more days, he's going to marry Rong Yuwei. Cheng Zhuri's eyes dimmed, and he said softly, "Xiaoxiao, don't think too much. Rest for a while and get well first. Your cousin will take care of everything!"

"Xiaoxiao, my child!" came the voice of my beautiful concubine from outside. Zhuqin helped her to come and see me. "Xiaoxiao, don't get up, lie down and rest." My concubine sat by my bedside, wiping away tears. "Thank God, she's finally awake. It's truly a blessing from the Bodhisattva, a blessing from the Bodhisattva!"

"Auntie, I'm fine, I'm all better now." Zhuqin's eyes were red: "Xiaoxiao, you must get better soon, this really scared us!"

"Cousin's finally awake! I was so scared! Doctor Lan said if you hadn't woken up today, they'd have to prepare for your funeral! I don't want my cousin to die! Cousin can't die, she can't die!" Xing'er was wailing outside. Cheng Zhu got up and said, "Mother, Qin'er, you stay with Xiao Xiao for a while. I'll be back soon." I unconsciously grabbed his clothes; I felt inexplicably anxious when he wasn't in my sight. Cheng Zhu smiled indulgently at me and gently comforted me, "Don't be afraid, your cousin will be here soon. Mother and Qin'er have been worried about you for days; they must have something to say to you. Your cousin will be back right away!" ----------------------------------Cheng Zuye's Study-----------------------------------

"What did you say? Say it again!" Cheng Zuye's face suddenly turned ashen, his eyes wide with rage as he roared at Cheng Zhuri, who was kneeling on the ground. Cheng Zhuri met his gaze fiercely, fearlessly: "Miss Rong is from a noble family, while I am merely a merchant. We are not a good match, I beg Father to help me annul this marriage!" "I think you've lost your mind! The wedding is in two days, and you just say you'll cancel it? What about the Cheng family's reputation?!"

"Is the dignity of marriage more important than my lifelong happiness?" "Miss Rong comes from a powerful family and is deeply devoted to you. Xiao Xiao will also follow you in the future. You are already enjoying the blessings of having two wives!"

"I don't want that kind of happiness, I just want to stay with Xiaoxiao until we grow old." "What about the Rong family? How should we explain this to them?" "I will personally go to their house to apologize, explaining the situation and reasoning with them, telling Miss Rong the whole story. She is a young lady from a wealthy family, a reasonable person, and she will surely understand my situation!" “Zhu Ri, Zhu Ri, I’ve wasted twenty years teaching you. You seem like a shrewd person usually, but you get all confused over the smallest things.” Cheng Zuye was disappointed in Cheng Zhu Ri for the first time. “A woman’s reputation is more important than her life. Miss Rong has been rejected in marriage. How can you expect her, a young woman, to face the gossip and rumors of the people of Bianjing? Fine, even if she doesn’t care, what about her father? Lord Rong will not let this go easily. The apple of a first-rank official’s eye has been rejected in marriage by a mere merchant, making him a laughingstock among the officials and the subject of gossip in Bianjing. He has lost face. Do you think he will deal with the Cheng family in his rage? Since ancient times, the common people have not fought against the officials. Don’t you understand the stakes involved? Zhu Ri, you’ve led our whole family to the brink of disaster!” "I am filled with deep regret." Cheng Zhuri's thick brows furrowed, his eyes filled with self-reproach. "If I hadn't agreed to this marriage, she wouldn't have fled to her maternal grandmother's house, and she wouldn't have suffered this calamity. She barely escaped death, and now she's still bedridden with a serious illness, and I'm about to marry someone else in full wedding attire. I can't do it, I can't bring myself to do it." "Xiaoxiao, Xiaoxiao." Cheng Zuye smiled bitterly. "You keep calling her Xiaoxiao, but what about your mother? What about your siblings? Have you ever thought about them?" "Your unfilial son begs for your forgiveness, Father." Cheng Zhuri kowtowed three times respectfully. "But I cannot marry another woman. I only know that my heart belongs to Xiaoxiao alone, and there is no room for any other woman. Every smile and frown of Xiaoxiao, her bitterness and tears are imprinted on my heart. What is the blessing of having two wives, what is the power of a wealthy family, none of it can compare to her smiling and calling me cousin." Cheng Zuye knew his son's character; he was the type who responded better to gentle persuasion than force. Suppressing his anger, he softened his tone, trying to persuade him: "Zhu Ri, I'm a man too, I understand your thoughts. Your heart is in your belly; you can give it to whomever you want. No one but you knows, and you don't need to say it. But you must also shoulder the responsibilities that come with it. Don't forget you are the eldest son of the Cheng family! You turned down a perfectly beneficial marriage for her, a marriage that others would kill for. If the Cheng family suffers because of this, the family..." "What will people think of Xiaoxiao? What will the Cheng family think of her? What will her relatives and neighbors think of her? 'A beautiful woman is a source of trouble,' Xiaoxiao can't bear that title. You think you're doing this for her own good, but you're pushing her into the limelight, making her the target of everyone's criticism. You're harming her, leaving her nowhere to go. Zhu Ri, you need to think this through. You want to take care of Xiaoxiao yourself, although it's against etiquette, I won't stop you. Go back and be with Xiaoxiao, she needs you most right now. I'll pretend I never heard of this. You can go now!" Cheng Zhu Ri's attitude was resolute, "Your son is unfilial, please grant my request, Father!!!" "This marriage is a done deal. Even if I have to tie you up, I'll still tie you up!" Cheng Zu Ye's deep voice was filled with unchallengeable authority. Cheng Zhu Ri retorted indignantly, "Father can tie me up to go to the wedding, but can you tie me up to consummate the marriage with her?!"

Cheng Zuye slumped back into his chair. "Fine, fine, very fine. My good son, you've truly chilled my heart. Is this how you repay me? A woman has made you lose all sense of propriety! Then let me ask you again, since Xiaoxiao is destined to have no children, what will become of the Cheng family's bloodline and fortune?"

“Chengjia is not just about me as a man; there are also Zhuyue and Xing’er. If Zhuyue is born out of wedlock and cannot continue the family business, then what about Xing’er? Xing’er is also a legitimate son. I will do my best to assist him until he comes of age and can fully shoulder the burden of Chengjia.”

"Have you thought it all through?" Cheng Zuye's voice was filled with sorrow. Cheng Zhuri pleaded, "I have never asked anything of my father before. In this life, I only ask my father to grant me this one request. Don't make me hate being born into the Cheng family. I am not worthy of this white jade hairpin. Please take it back, Father." After saying that, he took off the hairpin from his hair and presented it with both hands.

"Even if you don't want this family business, what about you? Of the three unfilial acts, the greatest is to have no offspring!" "Your mind is made up. I beg you, Father, to grant my request. If you truly have no children, I will accept it. I only ask to be with her for the rest of my life."

"You unfilial son!" Cheng Zuye was so angry that his shoulders trembled slightly. He grabbed a square inkstone from the table and hurled it forward. Blood immediately gushed from Cheng Zhuri's forehead, but he did not back down and stood up straight while kneeling. "You, you... you actually want to make yourself childless!" Cheng Zuye's voice trembled, his face filled with shock and heartache. "Then let me tell you something too. I'm still in charge of the Cheng family. Even if Miss Rong can't enter the Cheng family, Xiaoxiao will never become the principal wife. The principal wife of the Cheng family must give birth to a son. So give up on that idea! Zhuri, I'm doing this for your own good. Neither you nor I can be sinners in the Cheng family. I can't watch your memorial tablet not be able to enter the ancestral hall after I die. I won't have the face to face the ancestors of the Cheng family. Xiaoxiao is a pitiful orphan. Don't harm her. What's hers will always be hers. No one can take it away. What's not hers, she will never have. This is all God's arrangement." Liu Yuehua heard Cheng Shun's report that the master and the eldest son were arguing fiercely in the study, so she rushed over. As soon as she entered the room, she saw Cheng Zhuri with a bloodied head and asked Cheng Zuye with heartache, "Master, what are you doing here? My son is getting married soon, this..."

"A grand wedding? What grand wedding? He wants to break off the engagement! He wants to break off the engagement with the Rong family and marry Xiaoxiao instead. This is my most beloved son!" Liu Yuehua's face changed upon hearing this. "Zhuri, we know your feelings for Xiaoxiao, but did you even ask her before doing this? Xiaoxiao is awake now and waiting for you. Quickly bandage her wound so she doesn't worry." After Cheng Shun helped Cheng Zhuri away, Liu Yuehua patted Cheng Zuye's chest to calm him down. "Master, don't be anxious. Don't upset yourself. Zhuri is stubborn; no matter what we say, he won't listen. Let's find someone he can listen to and talk to him!"

Version 1: Falling in love is easy, staying together is difficult. Chapter 29: Using both kindness and severity.

Xing'er was crying bitterly in the outer room. I tried to comfort him, but I was too weak and my voice was too soft for him to hear. Aunt Liu couldn't console him no matter what she did. Seeing my anxiety, my aunt said, "Qin'er, take Xing'er downstairs first. I have some things to tell Xiao Xiao privately. Also, tell your second and third aunts that Xiao Xiao has woken up and thank them for thinking of him." As Qin'er coaxed Xing'er away, he called into the room, "Cousin, Mother said Xing'er is a boy and can't go into your room. Cousin, get well soon so we can meet. I'm leaving now and will come to see you again tomorrow." "Poor child, you suffered such a calamity. Fortunately, your parents' spirits in heaven have protected you and you've turned misfortune into good fortune. It's truly a blessing. We should ask a Taoist priest to perform a ritual to calm you down!" "Aunt, we have a happy occasion coming up at home soon, so it's not suitable. This was just an accident, and everything is fine now. You're not feeling well, so please don't worry about me." "Your aunt's health is fine. It's just a small ritual in your courtyard, without disturbing the other rooms. What's wrong with that? You must listen to your aunt. When you were ten, it was Master Zhang who cured your delusions. My child, you've suffered so much. I watched Liu Yu grow up. He was always well-mannered and sensible, but I never imagined he would do such a disgraceful thing. After he sobered up, he realized the terrible mistake his son had made and was filled with remorse. When he took you home that day, I heard you stood still and let him beat you mercilessly. Now you're in bed and won't be able to get out for a month or two. Family scandals can't be spread outside. He's a relative, and you're a young woman; it concerns your reputation." As for the reputation of the He Cheng and Liu families, this matter can only be swallowed and kept to oneself. But don't worry, your uncle and your grandfather have made proper arrangements. Apart from your uncle and me, only Zhu Ri and Xiao He know about it. Everyone else will just think that you fell ill due to the rain and the stress of Zhu Ri's upcoming marriage. Your uncle has already arranged for Xiao He's father to work at the money exchange, under the personal supervision of Uncle Qi. He has also hired a tutor for her younger brother. This is an immense favor to their family. Xiao He is also a sensible person; she swore an oath to us on the spot that she would never tell anyone. Your grandfather has also made arrangements for the Liu family. No one will mention this matter again, so you shouldn't think about it anymore.” Nodding, I knew my uncle was meticulous and shrewd. "It's all up to you, Uncle!" My aunt held my hand, soothing me like a baby. "Little one, close your eyes and sleep for a while. Auntie won't go anywhere; I'll stay here with you." "Auntie, I'm so sorry to have worried you. I'll be good to you both from now on!" My aunt smiled through her tears. "My dear child, I don't ask for anything in return. I just hope all four of you are safe and sound. That will be enough for me! Get some sleep. Zhu Ri will be here soon." But when I woke up, I didn't see Cheng Zhu Ri; instead, I saw my uncle. "Here, here, put it here, a little more over. Yes, this is it. Be gentle, don't wake Miss!"

I don't know how long I slept, but I was woken up by noises in the room. When I opened my eyes, I saw Qin Ma directing several old women to set up a screen opposite the bed.

"Xiaohe, what are they doing? Where's my cousin? He said he'd be back soon, where did he go?" "The eldest young master went to see the master, probably about business. He'll be back soon!" At this moment, my aunt came in. "Xiaohe, go downstairs." "Aunt, what's this for?" My aunt sat on the edge of my bed. "Xiaoxiao, your uncle has something important to discuss with you." "Xiaoxiao, how are you feeling?" My uncle's authoritative voice came from behind the screen. "Thank you for your concern, Uncle. I'm just a little dizzy and weak, but I'll be fine in a few days." "That's good. Xiaoxiao, you've been with the Cheng family for over seven years. How has your uncle treated you?" A slight chill ran through her. In TV dramas, conversations like this never seemed like good news. "My aunt and uncle treat me like their own child. They provide for me in the same way they do for Zhuqin, and the whole family treats me like family. Especially my aunt, who takes care of me every few days, adding extra layers of clothing for each season. I've always been weak, and they've been especially kind to me. Even though I'm an orphan, I don't feel like I'm living under someone else's roof. You are my own parents." "Xiaoxiao, you're a good child. Your uncle has something to ask of you. It concerns the survival of the family, and only you can do it right now."

"I can't believe I'm so capable," I said. "Uncle, you flatter me. I will do my best." "Zhu Ri just came to my study to find me. He's made up his mind to break off the engagement with the Rong family and marry you instead." "..." I was speechless with surprise. “Xiaoxiao, doing this every day is bringing disaster upon the Cheng family. He's foolish, but we can't be foolish. This isn't just a simple marriage. A few days ago, we collected all the old debts of over 1,000 taels from the money exchange. The Cheng family is rich but powerless. Sometimes, even knowing that some money is lost forever, they still have to borrow. These loans were all from the local ruffians in Bianjing. Since the Cheng and Rong families got engaged, they're afraid of offending the Rong family, so they've come to repay the principal and interest, even apologizing. Uncle isn't the kind of person who uses his power, but the world is tough. And then there's the Cheng family's land, their lifeline. 1,500 mu of rice, more than half of which has to be sold south by waterway. Bianjing is big, but it can't handle it all. This is inseparable from the Grand Canal, and it's Lord Rong who controls the Grand Canal. And then there's water; the rice paddies need a lot of water.” "Lord Zhang, who oversees the upstream water conservancy, is Lord Rong's protégé. Lord Rong doesn't need to exert much effort; with just a flick of his finger, Chengjia will be held hostage. There are also over 30 employees at the money shop, over 200 tenant farmers on the farm, and over 600 family members, many of whom have worked for Chengjia since Zhu Ri's grandfather's time. I can't let them lose their livelihoods. And then there's Zhuqin's marriage. Zhu Ri understands the importance and implications of all this better than anyone, yet he loses his head when it comes to your affairs. It's understandable, given his young age and lack of experience. Perhaps the best-case scenario is that Lord Rong, disregarding past considerations, won't make things difficult for Chengjia, but I can't take any risks. I must ensure that Chengjia's family fortune is handed over to Zhu Ri unscathed. After this experience, I've also come to a realization: I plan to have Xing'er take the imperial examinations to protect Chengjia. Family members are always more reliable than outsiders." "I... I didn't know my cousin would do this." "He wanted to finalize everything before telling you. There's no turning back now. This wedding has to be a grand affair; the Rong family can't let them see any sign of Zhu Ri's displeasure. Even if he has to pretend, he'll put on a show on the wedding day. My uncle tried everything to persuade him, but Zhu Ri is stubborn and won't back down. Sigh, the good son I raised is now going against his father. He thinks he's doing it for your own good, but he's wrong. Even if you two are together, you won't be happy. Think of Bao Si and Yang Guifei—what do history books say about them? 'Beauty is a curse!'"

I was startled. Was my uncle implying that I would harm Cheng Zhuri? "Uncle disagrees. They're all pitiful women who blame men for their mistakes. If men could control themselves, this wouldn't have happened. You're destined to be childless, and marrying you as the principal wife would be unacceptable to the Cheng family patriarch. Zhu Ri broke off the engagement for you, putting the Cheng family in danger. How will you face your family and relatives afterward? Zhu Ri was wrong first, but in the end, his mistake will become yours. Zhu Ri made me angry and disappointed, but after calming down, it wasn't all bad. It shows he's a man of deep affection and integrity, like his mother. You should persuade him and pull him back from the brink." "Should I persuade my cousin to marry Miss Rong?" "Uncle knows it's difficult for you, but this is a big deal. Besides, the Cheng family is also your family. For the sake of this family, you must do this. Uncle promises that two years later, after Miss Rong gives birth to her first child, whether it's a boy or a girl, you'll be allowed to enter the family. Although you'll be the second wife, you grew up in the Cheng family and are a cousin, so your status is not low. I will never let you suffer any injustice." After a long silence, my uncle behind the screen continued, his voice tinged with sadness, "What man in this world doesn't want a beautiful woman? Back then, I went to great lengths to marry your aunt. After our marriage, we were soulmates, understanding each other perfectly, sharing joys and sorrows, and deeply in love. I'm a greedy father, but I haven't done anything wrong. Life is hard these days. I hope that he can receive the Rong family's protection so that his burdens will be lighter, and I also hope that he can find the love in his heart. I don't want him to be alone for the rest of his life, but I can't tell him these heartfelt wishes!" How could I not understand my uncle's combination of kindness and severity? "I understand what you mean, Uncle. I know what to do."

"Auntie, where is my cousin?" "Father and son had an argument in the study about the marriage. In a fit of anger, your uncle hit him on the forehead and injured his forehead. Zhu Ri has been taking care of you for three days straight, barely sleeping, and due to blood loss, he's exhausted and fainted. He's still in bed. All four of you are my precious children, and now two of you are in bed. What am I going to do?" My aunt's eyes were filled with tears. Since I woke up, her face hadn't been dry. This was a mother who worried herself sick over her daughter. Cheng Zhu Ri, are we a pair of star-crossed lovers? "Auntie, don't cry. We'll go together, we'll stay with my cousin."

First Edition: Falling in Love is Easy, Staying Together is Hard - Chapter Thirty: The Choice

Sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at Cheng Zhuri's pale face, the white cloth wrapped around his forehead stained red, and his brows furrowed in pain even in his unconscious state—he had become like this because of me. "Auntie, I'll stay here with my cousin. You go and rest, wait for my news. This matter can only be discussed between the two of us." My aunt nodded, taking my hand earnestly. "Xiaoxiao, now I'm counting on you. Zhuri has a stubborn temper; you must persuade him. Only you can calm him down." "Don't worry, Auntie." ==================================================================================

"Cousin, you're awake. Your head must hurt a lot?" I asked softly as Cheng Zhuri slowly woke up. Cheng Zhuri smiled faintly, "Men aren't that delicate. How did you get here? Your head was still spinning."

I smiled gently. "Knowing you're injured, it won't faint anymore." Cheng sat up, wrapped his arms around me, and looked at me with tender eyes. "Cousin won't marry Miss Rong. Cousin will marry Xiaoxiao and never take a concubine. It doesn't matter if we're not destined to have children. Being a married man is too tiring and too bitter. You can't even marry the person you love. A daughter is fine too. Our daughter will definitely be a gentle and well-behaved beauty like her mother. I will pamper her, cherish her, teach her to recite poetry and paint, teach her to play the zither and chess. After she grows up, we'll find her a reliable family. I don't ask for him to be rich and powerful, I only hope he can stay with her." They truly care for our daughter. It's just that Xiaoxiao will have to endure the criticism from her family and the disdain from the clan in the future. But I can't leave. It's not that I'm unwilling to give up wealth and status; firstly, with my parents still alive, I shouldn't travel far; secondly, my current family needs me, and I must stay to atone for my past. When Xing'er grows up and my daughter is married, and after my parents pass away, there will be no more worries. Then, your cousin will take you to Hangzhou. Xiaoxiao has never left Bianjing (Kaifeng) before and doesn't know how beautiful the landscape of our Great Song Dynasty is. The rivers and lakes within Hangzhou... The area is dotted with lakes and rich in resources, resembling a fairyland. In spring, we visit the Su Causeway to explore its beauty; summer is the season for lotus blossoms. Little one, you may not have seen lotuses before. They grow from mud yet remain pure and flawless, with large, vibrant flowers and a pervasive, intoxicating fragrance. The lotuses on the shores of West Lake are unlike any other; the boundless expanse of emerald green leaves seems to stretch to the horizon, and amidst the verdant green, delicate lotus blossoms sway like fairies in the wind, offering a breathtaking panorama of nature. In autumn, we go boating to pick lotuses; in winter... Let's go searching for plum blossoms in the snow. We'll buy a small villa, plant a few willows and chrysanthemums in the front yard, and on our leisure days, I'll play the zither, and you'll sing. We'll also open a rice shop. Although it won't be as luxurious as our family's, it will ensure we have enough to eat and wear. I'm an unfilial descendant of a married man, and I've also caused you to be unable to enter the ancestral hall or be buried in the ancestral grave after your death, unable to enjoy the offerings of your descendants. But that doesn't matter. We won't come back anymore; we'll find a good place near West Lake to rest in peace. Xiaoxiao, would you like to come with your cousin? "I would, a hundred times more. The image of holding your hand and walking through those times with you is so appealing to me." But my aunt's tears, my uncle's combination of kindness and severity, and the bloodshot forehead of Cheng Zhu Ri kept flashing through my mind. We could only live like this in the next life. Finally, I made up my mind, wiped away my tears, and said seriously, "Cousin, I am grateful for your kindness. With your words, I, as a woman, have not lived in vain. But we cannot do this. We cannot pursue our own happiness by stepping on the future of the Cheng family, Zhu Qin's marriage, and the shoulders of those workers and tenants who work for the Cheng family. We will have a guilty conscience for the rest of our lives."

Cheng Zhuri's smile was as gentle as ever. "Xiaoxiao, don't worry. Just stay with your cousin. I'll take care of everything."

She straightened up, leaving his embrace, trying to project more confidence. "What woman in the world doesn't want her man to achieve great things? I do like your gentleness, thoughtfulness, and understanding, but I like even more the man who once spoke so confidently to me, saying he would one day make the people of the Song Dynasty know about the Cheng family's rice and make the Yuantongbao the most renowned money exchange in Bianjing. For me, you abandoned everyone—your father-son bond, your mother-son bond, your brotherly bond, your ambition as a man, and your status as the heir to the Cheng family. All of this should have belonged to you. Did you give it all up for me alone? Ask yourself honestly, are you really willing to accept this? You are clearly the most shrewd businessman, why do you do this kind of deal that's a losing proposition no matter how you look at it?" Cheng Zhuri's eyes were deep and unfathomable. He remained silent for a long time. "Xiaoxiao, then I also want you to tell me the truth. Are you willing to be a concubine? You've never agreed to it. You're not willing." "Yes, I was unwilling before, but now I'm willing to try, all because of your sincerity and affection, cousin. I'm unwilling to hand you over to Rong Yuwei, and I can't bear to part with all the memories we've shared over the years. Cousin, go, marry her. Rong Yuwei is the legitimate daughter and deeply favored by Lord Rong. Marry her, and you won't have to do anything. Her surname will be your key to fulfilling your long-cherished wish. With the Rong family's protection, the Cheng family will be even more powerful. The Rong family has power, and the Cheng family has money—it's the perfect combination. Since I'm destined not to be the principal wife, cousin, marry the one with the best conditions. It's a win-win situation. Uncle, as the father and the head of the Cheng family, is indeed right. This is truly a profitable deal." "Xiaoxiao, this doesn't sound like something you would say. Did your parents force you?" “My uncle didn’t force me. He just pointed out that Rong Yuwei would give you everything, while I would only leave you with nothing. These are my honest thoughts. I thought I could always be a carefree little woman, living a happy life under my cousin’s protection. But now I can’t, because God is fair. If you have one thing, you can’t have another. No one’s life is perfect. Maybe having my cousin’s true love means I’m destined not to be his wife.” “I disagree!” Cheng Zhuri’s expression remained unmoved. “Father is just overthinking things and underestimating the Cheng family and me. These are men’s matters. You, a young woman, shouldn’t think so much. You should think more about how to be your cousin’s wife.”

“If I were Aunt’s biological daughter, I might hold your hand without hesitation, disregarding all responsibility.” My voice was filled with sorrow, and tears streamed down my face. “But Xiaoxiao is an orphan adopted by Chengjia. The kindness of raising her is greater than the heavens. Now is the time to repay that kindness. This is what Xiaoxiao owes Uncle and Aunt. Please help me pay it off, cousin. After that, Xiaoxiao will not owe anyone anything.”

How could I bear to say these words? I know all too well the importance of career for a man. Love, however beautiful, is ultimately only a part of life. When the passion fades, perhaps he will regret it in the future, regret his initial decision. Cheng Zhuri is a man of great ambition; he is a dragon in the deep sea, an eagle on the grasslands. The vast ocean and sky are his stage in life. How could he be content? Even I cannot be content. "I can't let you suffer like this!" I replied resolutely. "Cousin and Aunt won't let me suffer. I will protect myself. Cousin can't protect me forever. If Cousin doesn't marry Rong Yuwei, I will be an ungrateful sinner, a femme fatale. These are too heavy a burden for me to bear! If Cousin insists, then we will never see each other again in this life. I mean what I say." With that, I picked up the scissors and fiercely cut off a section of my hair. Cheng Zhuri stared at the severed hair in my hand, his face deathly pale. After a long while, he finally spoke, "Xiaoxiao is very understanding; I've already written it down."

This is my selfish wish, and also a helpless choice. Only in this way can Cheng Zhuri accept this marriage. I am also a businesswoman; weighing two interests, I choose the greater one. I am an orphan with no power or influence, possessing nothing but Cheng Zhuri's sincere heart. He owes me, and he will always remember me and always be good to me. Rong Yuwei, no matter how noble you are, power cannot buy a man's true heart. You will never have Cheng Zhuri's heart; it will only belong to me. But no matter how much my cousin and I love each other, I can never be his wife. In this feudal society, women are only appendages, all pitiful. I thought I could do it, could not care about sharing my husband with other women. But when I saw Rong Yuwei, all my efforts collapsed. It's difficult, so difficult. I finally truly understand what my mother once said: a woman can give up anything, but she must never give up her man and children.

First Version: Falling in Love is Easy, Staying Together is Hard; Chapter Thirty-One: August 7th

"Xiaohe, I can't sleep. Talk to me for a while." That nightmare keeps recurring in my dreams, severely affecting my sleep and leaving me mentally exhausted. I'm easily startled by the slightest noise, especially at night. I can't stand the dark; I need a light on all night, and Xiaohe has to sleep with me to keep me from being scared. Thinking about it now still gives me chills. An unexpected downpour left Xiaohe at Chengjia's house. Although I managed to break free from Liu Yu's clutches and run into the yard to call for help, the sound of the rain and the thunder of lightning drowned out my cries. When Liu Yu dragged me back to the room, thinking I was about to be raped, my cousin-in-law appeared and saved me. I was so panicked and terrified that all I could do was cry; I don't remember anything after that. "Xiaohe, you'll be fifteen next year. Has your family arranged a marriage for you?" "My parents originally said to wait until next year, to find a family with a high dowry, to arrange the marriage beforehand, and preferably to wait until I'm eighteen to get married."

"Why wait three years? Won't you become an old maid? Will your future in-laws agree?" "I'm from a poor family. I have no choice. My parents need my wages to support the family." "Well, that shouldn't be necessary now. Your uncle has already arranged things. Tomorrow I'll ask my aunt to keep an eye out for a good husband for you. Consider it a reward for Xiaohe's diligent care over the years." Xiaohe blushed slightly. "Thank you, Miss. Serving you well is my duty. I only ask for a family with a good financial situation, someone who can help support the family." "Xiaohe, you say we women are no less capable than men. If I go out to work, what should I do?"

Xiaohe was stunned. "Miss, where in this world do women work?" "Why not? I've studied for a few years, so I can tell stories to young children." "I've never heard of a female teacher." "Then I'll be the first! Women are no less capable than men. Wu Zetian became the Empress, and her political achievements were outstanding. Xiaohe, do you know? There's a place in this world where men and women learn to read and write from a young age. After completing their studies, they can serve as officials alongside men, working for the people; they can also go out and work to earn a living. Moreover, a man can only have one wife. If a wife feels she doesn't get along with her husband, she can divorce him and remarry a suitable man." Xiaohe's mouth gaped open, wide enough to swallow an egg. She reached out and touched my forehead. "Miss, are you having another bout of delusions?" "No, I'm just confused and annoyed. I'm just talking nonsense. I feel that being a woman is tiring. Why am I a woman in this life?"

“Miss, I understand your thoughts and know your suffering. It's not the eldest young master's fault that you want to marry Miss Rong; you'll definitely have a place after marriage—everyone in the Cheng family knows that. You're different from the other young ladies; you're very polite to us servants. We all like you from the bottom of our hearts. But let me tell you something from the bottom of my heart—no matter how bitter my heart is, I can't say these things anymore. In this world, men are in charge; if others hear this, it will cause a great disaster. A woman's life is so hard. My neighbor's sister has been in love with Liu Wu from the village since childhood, and both families agreed. But the Liu family is poor, and he's the fifth son. When Liu Wu came of age, his family couldn't afford the bride price, so the marriage was delayed. Later, the village headman saw that my sister was pretty and bought her as a concubine for 30 taels of silver. That village headman is older than her father, and he has a terrible breath.” “Was she willing?” "What can she do if she doesn't want to? Marriage is a major life event that parents decide. She's the eldest daughter, and her family is poor, relying on the dowry to survive."

"And then there's my distant second great-aunt. She married into her husband's family, but her husband died less than six months later, leaving no children. Her in-laws said she was a jinx, destined to bring misfortune to her husbands, and she was sent back to her parents' home. What good life can a woman who's been sent back to her parents' home have? It was a little better when her parents were alive, but now her sister-in-law is in charge, and she's suffered a lot of mistreatment. I heard she passed away a few days ago. Some say she died of illness, others say she died of anger. She didn't even have a coffin when she died, and neither family cared about her funeral arrangements; they just wrapped her in a straw mat and buried her hastily." "..." "Miss, I've been trying to apologize to you. If I hadn't been late, you wouldn't have suffered like this. It's all my fault. Luckily, Miss, you have the protection of the Bodhisattva; otherwise, I could never atone for my sins. The eldest young master is truly devoted to you. You didn't see how hideous his face was that day, his eyes like ice daggers. I heard he stormed into Miss's room, and no one could stop him. When I arrived at the Liu family, I saw the eldest young master had knocked the young master to the ground, his face covered in blood. If the master hadn't arrived and stopped him, someone might have died. The eldest young master carried Miss directly to the carriage. The master said it was improper, but the eldest young master only said that if it was improper, he would marry her immediately. He then got out of the carriage..." "The eldest young master's eyes were a little red. I saw it clearly; he must have cried in the carriage. It was the first time I'd ever seen him with red eyes. There aren't many men like him. It's a blessing you've accumulated in your past life. Putting aside his looks, family background, and abilities, it's his deep affection for you that's something few men in this world can compare to. And to be shameless, if any man treated me like that, I'd be willing to be his tea-serving maid for the rest of my life. That day, I heard Cheng Shun say that the master had lost his temper with the eldest young master, definitely because of the young lady. Only you would make the eldest young master act like that. I've been in the Cheng family for almost eight years and have never seen the master lose his temper with the eldest young master, let alone seriously injure him." "Xiao He, how much has the eldest young master done for you to speak up for him like this?" I teased her with a smile. “Miss, I speak from the bottom of my heart, with all due respect. In this world, a woman needs to find someone to rely on. Miss, you have no one to rely on. If you hold onto the young master tightly, your future will be secure.” Am I confident I can hold onto his heart? His body? I'm not sure, or perhaps I don't want to. --- Rong Residence ---

Madam Rong went to Rong Yuwei's room to give instructions on trivial matters, "Wei'er, is everything prepared? I'll have Dong'er check it again later."

"Mother, everything is ready, so don't worry anymore." "Wei'er, I have something to tell you. Your eldest brother has inquired about the Cheng family in detail. The Cheng family is indeed quite good in every way, especially my son-in-law, who is very handsome. No wonder he has captivated my precious daughter. It's just a pity that his background is low. The Cheng family has adopted an orphan girl who is fifteen years old this year. She is a cousin of your mother's, and it is said that she has a foxy look. She has been very close to my son-in-law since childhood, but I don't know why the two families are not engaged. But even if they are engaged, it's not a problem. Your parents will do everything they can to get the person you want. Be careful after you go there." Rong Yuwei looked disdainful. "I am marrying down. How could they not treat me well? Does he want to take a concubine?"

Madam Rong sighed, “My silly daughter, since ancient times men have had three wives and four concubines. Even if you have such intentions, you must never say them aloud, as that violates one of the seven grounds for divorce. I know you are proud and arrogant, and it's a good thing for a young lady to have such a spirit. But once you become someone's wife, you must change your usual temper. Power can buy people's respect on the surface, but can it buy your husband's affection? You have to use tenderness to move a man. Your father has married eight concubines, each one as beautiful as a flower. The youngest one is even a year younger than you. Your mother is now old and faded, and your father no longer enters my room. Why should I be able to maintain my position as the principal wife? Firstly, it's because of your maternal grandfather and uncle's family background, and secondly, it's because I gave birth to your brother.” "As long as you give birth to a son and don't make any major mistakes, your position in the family will be unshakeable. Listen to your mother: after you get married, give birth to your son first. Don't worry about anything else for now. Remember to hold your tongue; you can't say whatever you want like you do at home. If you have any worries, talk to Granny Wang. She accompanied me to the Rong family after my marriage and has been with me for over forty years. She's reliable and knows when to advance and retreat. I feel more at ease having her by your side. I'm saying this to make sure you're careful. Don't overthink it. Tomorrow, just be a happy bride. Your father and brothers are officials in the court. The marriage of the Rong family's eldest daughter is a great honor for them. If anything happens, just have Granny Wang come back and let me know. No matter how big the matter is, we'll support you and make decisions for you." Rong Yuwei nestled in Madam Rong's arms, acting coquettishly, "Mother, Wei'er can't bear to part with you!" Madam Rong's eyes reddened, tears welling up, "Mother can't bear to part with you either. You're my only daughter, but daughters always have to get married when they grow up. I just hope you'll give me a grandson soon, then I can rest easy. Get some rest tonight, you'll be tired tomorrow. By the way, did you read that little booklet that Granny Wang gave you carefully? Do you know what to do on your wedding night?" Rong Yuwei blushed, "Mother."

Version 1: Falling in love is easy, but staying together is difficult. Chapter 32: Outing.

“Miss, it looks like it’s going to rain heavily. Let’s go to this inn for a cup of tea and wait out the rain before we leave.”

"Okay, Uncle Qi." Back at this little inn again, so many things have changed in just a few months. Five years of luxurious life had made her forget who she was, truly believing herself to be a pampered young lady. My aunt, after all, is the matriarch of the Cheng family, prioritizing their well-being above all else. She'd even sacrifice herself for them. No matter how much she doted on me, there will come a time when she can't care for me anymore. Now that Cheng Zhuri is someone else's husband, it's time to wake up and make some serious plans. Today, I'm experiencing firsthand the cruelty of 'feudal society.' According to custom, I should pay my respects to Rong Yuwei, but I'm not from ancient times; I can't do it even if I don't want to. The adults in the Cheng family are also very tacitly understanding... I didn't even mention it. Even when Rong Yuwei wanted to visit me, my aunt politely declined. I truly couldn't face all of this. My initial offer to Cheng Zhuri to try being a second wife was out of necessity; I needed a change of scenery to calmly consider my future. I diligently took my medicine, ate, and exercised every day. The first thing I did after fully recovering was to request a solo trip to Hangzhou. My family, of course, strongly opposed it, especially Cheng Zhuri. But my attitude was resolute, and they finally agreed. However, Uncle Qi would accompany me, along with two strong servants for protection. They also demanded I return within a month and write a letter home every three days. I agreed to everything. I'd leave first; as the saying goes, a general in the field may disobey orders. When I returned was not up to them.

While sipping tea and watching the heavy rain outside, a familiar figure came into view. It was the bearded man. He quickly stood up and asked, "Brother, do you remember me?" The bearded man nodded. "Those who have seen Miss will not easily forget her. Although she was wearing a veil, I still recognize her voice."

Uncle Qi across from me gave me a worried look, so I quickly explained, "Uncle Qi, my cousin and I almost got injured by a horse on our way back to our hometown to pay respects to our family. A kind man saved us. My cousin didn't want his family to worry, so he told me not to tell them. This man is a good person. Xiao He and Cheng Shun were both there." Uncle Qi's expression softened slightly after hearing this. "Please sit down, brother. It's true what they say, we're destined to meet. May I ask your name?"

"My name is Bai Genshun. I'm a hunter from the mountains up ahead. Every now and then, I bring some game to these restaurants and inns to exchange for some money. It's not surprising that you've met me, Miss." "No wonder you're so strong, brother. You're a hunter. What's that in your hand?" "I just caught a live roe deer yesterday and brought it over right away. Some customers like this kind of thing. It can fetch a few more dollars than a dead one."

"I see. It's already noon, Brother Bai, why don't you have lunch with us?" "No need, I already ate before coming." "It's still a while before noon, who eats so early? Don't be so polite." "It's not politeness, I really have already eaten. We need money at home lately, so we're trying to save where we can." A thought struck him. "Brother Bai, I have a small favor to ask. We happen to be going to Hangzhou on business and would like to hire you as a bodyguard. We'll pay you ten taels of silver a month. How about that?" Uncle Qi was experienced in life, and if he also had someone who knew some martial arts, it would be perfect—one scholar, one warrior. His muscular physique could frighten even the gods. Most importantly, he wanted to help him repay his life-saving debt. "Ten taels of silver a month? We don't need that much money." "Yes, yes, we need it. You'll be away from home for a month, so of course we need it." "I'll go home and discuss it with my family, but it'll take two hours round trip. Can you wait?"

I nodded vigorously, "I'll definitely wait." "By the way, where's that young master from last time?" I was taken aback and said awkwardly, "He had something to do and didn't come this time." Uncle Qi suddenly spoke up, "Brother Bai, I've heard that some hunters keep a few good pelts at home for emergencies. I wonder if that's true?" Bai Genshun nodded and replied, "That's true, especially in the winter when things are tough, they use them to exchange for money."

Uncle Qi continued, "Our Cheng family happens to be short of a hide. I'll go with you anytime. If it's suitable, I'll buy it; price is no problem. If anyone at home is worried, I can explain things to them. How about it?" Bai Shungen nodded. "Then please wait for me at the inn entrance. I'll explain things here, and then I'll go with you." Seeing Bai Shungen leave the inn, Uncle Qi whispered to me, "Miss, although he's the Cheng family's savior, we still don't know his background. I'll go with him to his home to check." "Uncle Qi is right; it was a small oversight." "Miss, don't worry. I've known people for over twenty years. Judging from his eyes, words, and actions, he's an upright man. I'll just feel more at ease if I see him." He then turned and instructed Xiao He and the others, "You all stay here and take good care of Miss. I'll be back soon."

Uncle Qi is meticulous in his work. I was a little worried while waiting at the inn, but I was relieved when the two of them returned together and Uncle Qi gave me a slight nod. Over the next few days, everyone was touched by Bai Shungen's sincerity and generosity. With him by our side, the journey became more enjoyable. He took over the driving, telling us many interesting stories about hunting while driving, which left us all amazed.