A Mortal's Love Across the Northern Song Dynasty

Chapter 11

"...I was only 16 years old then, and I was too young to know any better. So I got scratched on the back by a bear, and I still have the scar. Luckily, I was quick on my feet, or I would have been dead. But I lost a lot of blood and collapsed in the woods because I was too weak. Luckily, I was blessed with good fortune, and my wife saved me. She carried me home and I was bedridden for 10 days." "Brave Bai, you got married at 16?" Xiao He asked. "No, she wasn't my wife then, she was later." Wow, how romantic! I laughed, "That's a beauty saving a hero, so the hero offered himself to her." He laughed heartily, "We're not that refined. Besides, my wife wasn't exactly a beauty. She's five years older than me, and because she had a big black mole on her face and her family was poor, she hadn't been betrothed for a long time. I saw that she was kind-hearted and honest, so I went to propose. A year later, my family saved enough for the dowry, and I married her. What does it matter if she's not pretty? She's strong, filial to her parents, and a great cook. She even heats up my bed for me at night..." "Ahem..." Uncle Qi coughed to remind him. Bai Shungen was a little embarrassed, "I'm sorry, we're just used to being rough around the edges, Miss Wen, I'm sorry."

I sighed, "There aren't many men like Brother Bai who don't care about appearances and are so loyal and trustworthy. I'll acknowledge you as my elder brother. Don't call me 'Miss' anymore, just call me 'Little Sister'." "Okay, I'll accept you as my little sister." "Brother Bai's family are good people. Although they're not rich, they must be living a happy and fulfilling life. I envy them."

“Every family has its own problems. We’ve been married for six years and our lives have been harmonious and happy. There’s just one thing that’s not going well: she gave birth to three girls. Our whole family is very worried, so we’ve been discussing taking another woman to help us have a son.”

"Brother, are sons really that important? Daughters are no less important than sons." Our former vice premiers were all women!

“My three daughters are very well-behaved. My eldest daughter is five years old and waits for me and her grandfather at the door every night. But no matter how good a daughter is, she will eventually belong to another family. Without a son, our Bai family line will end, which would be a great act of filial impiety. Besides, our family has been hunters for generations. Daughters can't do that kind of work. I'm still waiting for my son to take care of us in our old age and see us off in our final days!” “Sister-in-law Bai must be very sad?” Although she knew the importance of offspring to people in ancient times. "She's not that jealous. She's more anxious than I am about not being able to have a son. She's the one who arranged this marriage. It's with her distant cousin. Her family is short of money for her son's wedding. Originally, the dowry was 30 taels, but she pleaded and begged to reduce it by 5 taels. Now they've raised the money. Uncle Qi bought the leather, the 10 taels for wages, plus what they saved before, and they still have more than 5 taels left. Today is the New Year, and they're going to make new clothes for the whole family and some jewelry for my wife. She's been married into the family for so many years and hasn't had a single new piece of clothing. She always thinks of this family and me. It's really hard on her. Our family must have burned incense in our past life to be able to marry her." "If my sister-in-law can give birth to a son, will my brother take a concubine?" "Probably not. The family doesn't have enough money to support another person. We're only doing this because we have no other choice."

"If you were wealthy, would you take a concubine?" he pressed, unwilling to give up. "Of course, it's for many children and grandchildren, for good fortune!" She removed the jade pendant from her ear and had Xiaohe present it to her. "Brother, I deeply respect Sister-in-law. I don't know if we'll ever meet again, so consider this a gift from your sister to her." Knowing he wouldn't accept it, she continued, "If you truly consider me your sister, please don't refuse. I know you're a generous man, not one swayed by money. This is just a token of my affection, so please don't refuse." Seeing this, he said, "Then I won't say more. Thank you on behalf of my wife, sister." Can I blame him? No, I can't judge him by the standards of monogamy from a thousand years later. Bai Shungen was educated in traditional feudal ideology and was considered a responsible and good man in ancient times. He didn't feel guilty for taking a concubine. "Of the three unfilial acts, the greatest is to have no offspring" was a deeply ingrained idea among ancient men, and even many women. In fact, not only in ancient times, but also in many parts of modern China, sons are very important. There are many families who only have one son after having two or three daughters. These are considered good parents. A small number of parents even have prenatal sex determination and, if they find out it's a girl, they abort it or give the child away. That's why the number of women of marriageable age in China now far exceeds the number of men, leading to the problem of "leftover women." I've heard a lot about this from friends and colleagues in my past life. The more rural the area, the more serious it is. Many parents don't want to do this, and they can't bear to part with their newborn children, but the environment forces them to do so. However, the vast majority of women in modern society would rather choose to be single, rather be "leftover women," than experience the pain of polygamy in ancient times. They are independent and live just as freely. Can I? How can I let Cheng Zhuri go? If I really choose to leave completely, in this feudal society that requires women to not smile and not lean against doors, in this society where women have extremely low status, in this society where women are not allowed to go out to work, if I were to leave the protection of a family, could I, a helpless orphan, live well without being bullied by others? I must think this through carefully while I have this opportunity.

First Version: Falling in Love is Easy, Staying Together is Hard - Chapter Thirty-Three: Liu Yixiao

We traveled and played along the way, taking more than ten days to reach Hangzhou. We checked into Chengjia's Hangzhou Villa. The villa was small but exquisite and well-located, very close to West Lake. It only took about ten minutes to walk to the lake. We've been in Hangzhou for eight days now, and every morning I sit by the lake, enjoying the breeze and contemplating life. The scenery of Hangzhou is indeed infinitely beautiful. Although I've been here a few times in my previous life, it was always just a fleeting glimpse during business trips or training sessions. Now, I'm experiencing the scenery and people up close. Sitting by the lake, enjoying the cool autumn breeze, watching the lotus-picking girls humming tunes and rowing their small boats to pick lotus seeds, I really enjoy this kind of life. I wish I could stay here forever. For the first few days, Uncle Qi was a little worried and stayed by my side every day. Later, seeing that I was just sitting by the lake enjoying the scenery, with Xiao He and Bai Shungen with me, he relaxed and focused on the Cheng family's rice branch business. He went out early and stayed out late every day, visiting all the rice shops in Hangzhou, investigating the competitors' sales, rice quality, and prices, and taking detailed notes. Cheng family rice was the number one brand in Bianjing (Kaifeng), but the situation was different in Hangzhou. Although sales were good, the market share was relatively small, and it seemed like they wanted to make a big splash. Cheng family was really lucky to have Uncle Qi. I don't know what method my uncle used, but Uncle Qi seemed to be born to serve Cheng family, always thinking about business no matter where he was, and not even enjoying his rare vacation opportunity. After breakfast today, I sat by the lake looking at West Lake. Suddenly, a melodious flute tune drifted across the water—it was Kangxi. Could it be Cheng Zhuri coming after me? I got up and looked up. I saw a small boat approaching the shore in the distance, with a man in blue standing at the bow, playing the flute. Just then, a gentle breeze blew, lifting my veil, then letting it fall back to its original position. In that instant, our eyes met. The other person paused, the flute music stopped abruptly, and then he smiled slightly, exclaiming in a booming voice, "This young lady is truly beautiful, with a face like a peach blossom."

Bai Shungen immediately stepped in front of me. The man in blue was clearly not intimidated by Bai Shungen's strong and well-developed muscles. He nimbly jumped ashore and said, "Brother, please don't misunderstand. My name is Liu Yixiao. I had absolutely no intention of disrespecting you, Miss. Please forgive my rudeness just now."

"Brother, it's alright." Liu Yixiao's open smile and sunny demeanor made everyone feel comfortable. Taking a half step forward, he asked, "Young Master Liu, how do you know this piece?" "Last year, I went to Bianjing on business and happened to be there during the Chrysanthemum Festival, so I went to take a look. I suppose you've heard this piece before. Although the Cheng family only came in second, I particularly love 'Kangxi.' This piece is grand and majestic, yet also delicate and melodious in its deepest emotions. I imagine the whole family has extremely high moral character and temperament." This is a characteristic of the ancients—judging a person's character by their music. I cannot judge a player's character from their music.

I smiled and said, "I'm from Bianjing. Like Young Master Liu, I also love this piece." Almost two months passed. Life in Hangzhou, this paradise on earth, was very comfortable and peaceful. After Uncle Qi finished his business, he kept urging me to go home because Cheng Zhuri's letters kept arriving. I always made various excuses to postpone it. Two days ago, Cheng Zhuri sent an ultimatum, saying that if I didn't return, he would personally come and take me home. Yesterday, I finalized my return date because I had already decided on my future path. I'll remain single for the rest of my life. Being alone is more enjoyable. I don't care about being an old maid or not, and I certainly can't share a husband with another woman. But in this society, it's too difficult for a woman to live alone, and I'm also considering marrying another man. My heart won't listen to me; Cheng Zhuri is deeply rooted in my heart. These days, I've tried to forget all the beautiful things from the past, trying to eradicate them completely, but I failed. My heart is full of him. It turns out that love and hate... Love is not something that can be achieved through subjective will. Moreover, the Cheng family has long regarded me as Cheng Zhuri's personal possession. It would be too difficult, practically impossible, for him to let go and remarry me. Most importantly, I cannot deceive someone else's feelings. It would be unfair to the other man if I used the Cheng family as a stepping stone to escape this situation and married another man while still harboring feelings for him. Furthermore, I had already tricked Cheng Zhuri into agreeing to be his second wife, which is why he agreed to marry Rong Yuwei. If I were to propose marrying someone else, it would be a severe blow to his spirit, something he would absolutely not accept. I need to rely on the Cheng family to survive first, and then make plans for the future. The sweet moments I shared with Cheng Zhuri are the most beautiful things in my life. Coming from the modern world, I know even more the preciousness of pure love, something many people yearn for but cannot attain. I will not forget it, nor do I want to forget it; I will cherish it forever in my heart. Having made my decision, I felt much lighter as I sat by West Lake today. As long as I didn't marry Cheng Zhuri, it would be fine. He had never pressured me, and he wouldn't force me unless I agreed. Besides, I had done my aunt and uncle such a big favor, so staying in the Cheng family and getting a free meal wouldn't be a problem. And there was Rong Yuwei too. How many women would agree to their husbands taking concubines?

“Young Master Liu, we meet again. What a coincidence! I’m setting off for Bianjing tomorrow, so I’ll take this opportunity to say goodbye.”

Since that time, I've run into Liu Yixiao almost every day at West Lake. I understand the look in his eyes—it's the burning passion a man has for a woman. I always remain polite and courteous to him, and I don't change my plans because of him. I don't dislike him because his smile is sunny and infectious, and he's never talkative. He won't bother me when I don't want to talk. His flute music is part of the beautiful scenery. When he asked about me, I only told him my surname was Wen. "Miss Wen is about to return to Bianjing," he said after a moment's thought. "I fell in love with Miss Wen at first sight. I know from your hairstyle that you are unmarried. I wonder if you are betrothed? I, Yixiao, would like to propose marriage to Miss Wen's family." I never expected Liu Yixiao to be such a direct person, saying it to my face. I asked, "Is it because of this face?"

“Yes, Miss is a beautiful woman, and since ancient times, gentlemen have sought after graceful ladies. But Yi Xiao also admires Miss's quiet nature.” Her directness and frankness were commendable. “Young Master Liu, if I am destined to have no children, will you still marry me? Master Mingxin of the Great Xiangguo Temple calculated that I am destined to have no sons in this life.” “…” Looking at Liu Yi Xiao's slightly stunned face, I guessed no woman in the world had exposed her personal privacy so directly and frankly. I continued, “There is a man who was my childhood sweetheart, who knew I was destined to have no children. He was willing to break with his family and give up a high-class marriage and a life of wealth that other men would covet, all just to marry me properly and not wrong me. He also vowed never to take a concubine. Can Young Master Liu do that? Is it worth it just for this face?” Liu Yixiao laughed and said, "I am ashamed of myself. My father died early, and my mother raised my sister and me with great difficulty. Our Liu family is still waiting for me to carry on the family line. Perhaps I can persuade my mother to marry Miss Wen as my wife, but I really can't do it without taking a concubine. I also can't explain it to our ancestors. Miss is pitiful and unfortunate, but she has been able to find such a loving man. It can be considered as compensation from heaven for Miss."

I nodded. "Yes, I also feel very lucky and happy." Liu Yixiao's words strengthened my decision. The only man in this world willing to be childless for me is Cheng Zhuri. Although I scoff at the idea of being destined to be childless, I can't very well tell them that Master Mingxin's fortune-telling is completely unscientific and that I can not only have sons, but possibly ten or eight Cheng Zhuris, because modern science has proven that whether a child is male or female is determined by the man's sex chromosomes. But what can't I say? Master Mingxin is a highly respected monk in Bianjing. The ignorant feudal people will only point the finger at me. Moreover, for an unmarried woman like me to talk about having children is extremely impolite. They would probably lock me up like a monster.

First Edition: Falling in Love is Easy, Staying Together is Hard - Chapter Thirty-Four: The First Encounter

Back in Chengjia from Hangzhou, the traces of the grand wedding still seemed to linger. Recalling that day, the eighth day of the eighth lunar month, it had caused a sensation throughout Bianjing (Kaifeng). The deafening sound of firecrackers and lively music drew crowds to the streets to watch. The wedding was incredibly grand and magnificent. The wedding procession circled the entire city of Bianjing. The Rong family's dowry consisted of eighty-one loads; just registering them took more than half an hour. It included everything from rare jewels and antiques to everyday necessities, and even maids and servants accompanied the bride. The Cheng family held a continuous feast with over a hundred tables, lasting three days. They also set up five shops in the city, distributing free steamed buns for three days. But what people talked about most was the groom's... Why was Cheng Zhuri injured on the forehead? Some rumors said it was because he was so excited about marrying Miss Rong that he rolled off the bed in his dream and bumped into something. Others said he accidentally fell at the Cheng family farm. Still others said that Cheng Zhuri was a chivalrous gentleman who saved a child from being run over by a carriage and was injured in the process. The people of Bianjing spread the story by word of mouth, and there were many different versions. The first version was the most reliable and received the most support. I was truly impressed by my uncle's skill and quick thinking. Fearing that the Rong family would question him, he arranged for his men to spread the news in the major restaurants, inns, and entertainment venues of Bianjing on the day Cheng Zhuri was injured. The Cheng family neither denied nor confirmed the various versions circulating among the people.

Xiaohe walked in, looking slightly worried, and said, "Miss, the eldest young mistress has come to see you."

I just got home, and you're already showing up at the door. I was hoping to rest up properly tonight and meet you again at the dinner table tomorrow. It seems I couldn't escape your arrival. I quickly mustered all my energy and got up to greet you. "Sister-in-law, please sit down. Xiaohe, go and brew another pot of hot tea." Rong Yuwei was dressed in bright, gorgeous clothes, her makeup exquisite, and her hair perfectly styled—she had the air of a wealthy young lady. Although she wasn't as beautiful as me, her innate aristocratic elegance, combined with the glow of her new marriage, made her more beautiful than any flower. In comparison, I, in my white dress, looked pale. Sigh, I lost out on her presence so early on our first meeting. "I heard you've been sickly since childhood, and you even fell ill during my wedding. I've wanted to come and visit you for a while, but Mother said she didn't want to disturb your recovery. Then you went to Hangzhou while I was at the temple to fulfill a vow. You don't seem to like me, your sister-in-law, do you?"

"Sister-in-law, you're so funny. I was feeling unwell then, and I was worried you'd bring me bad luck. I was planning to visit you later, but you came to see me first." "My dear cousin, you're such a thoughtful girl. I'm so relieved to see you in person today. Look how thin you are! It breaks my heart. I brought some top-quality ginseng and deer antler to help you recover. These are from my family; they're good things, and you might not be able to buy them even if you have the money." "Thank you for your concern, sister-in-law. You've gone to so much trouble." Rong Yuwei warmly took my hand, but her eyes held no warmth. "Don't be so polite, cousin. Money is just material; people are what I value most." "People" refers to Cheng Zhuri—a subtle hint that women naturally understand. I smiled but remained silent. "The ancients were right, men are in charge of external affairs, and women are in charge of internal affairs. My husband works tirelessly for this family, leaving early and returning late every day. I, a mere woman, don't understand and can't help much, but serving my husband well is my duty. I've racked my brains trying to ensure he eats and sleeps well." She finished speaking and stroked her hair. Following her hand, I looked closely and saw a jade hairpin in her hair. My face froze. The White Hairpin. It had always been Cheng Zhuri's hair. Thinking of Cheng Zhuri putting it on her head was like a sharp arrow piercing my heart. It hurt so much. That White Hairpin was passed down from Cheng Zhuri's great-grandfather, symbolizing growing old together. It was a family heirloom of the Cheng family, made of the finest ancient jade, passed down from generation to generation by the eldest son of the Cheng family. The men of the Cheng family would put it on their wives' heads on the morning of the second day of their marriage, and then it would be passed on to the eldest son. I had imagined countless times the scene of Cheng Zhuri putting it on my head. Who knew that its current owner was Rong Yuwei. "I heard that my cousin came to our family at the age of eight and grew up with Chengjia's brothers and sisters, especially close to my husband and Zhuqin?" Is this getting to the point? "It's all just hearsay, and many hearsay things can't be taken literally." "Cousin is right. Hearsay things can't be taken literally. Everyone says that Chengjia climbed the social ladder by marrying into the Rong family, but I think I'm lucky. Marrying the one I love is what many women dream of. Although my cousin's wife comes from an official family, she's not a conservative person. She genuinely likes my husband's proud and arrogant nature. The Kangxi song he played made me decide to marry him on the spot. To be honest, since I came of age, many young men from noble families have come to propose marriage, but how many of them genuinely like me as a person? Aren't they just after my father is the prefect?"

"Sister-in-law, you're too modest." "I heard about your background from my mother. It's really pitiful. You lost both your parents at such a young age and had no one to rely on. I grew up with the love of my parents and brothers. I'm not as strong as you. If it were me, I probably would have cried myself to death. But now it's good. There's someone else who loves you. Your husband treats you like his own sister. His sister is my sister too. I will take good care of you from now on."

I smiled slightly, "My aunt treats Xiaoxiao very well, so she's not exactly destitute." Trying to make me sad? I'll make sure you don't get your way. Do you think I'm some kind of Lin Daiyu? If Rong Yuwei were truly the kind of spoiled young lady who only knew how to be willful, that would be fine. But her words and actions showed she wasn't a simple-minded woman. Her words were a mix of truth and falsehood, every single one of them purposeful. And then there was Wang Mama beside her. Aside from greeting me when she first entered, she hadn't said a word. She had a kind face, but her eyes gleamed with a shrewd light as she scrutinized me. I hoped she wasn't the kind of person with a kind face but a malicious heart; I couldn't handle her. A woman who accompanied Rong Yuwei into this family couldn't be underestimated; she must be a trusted confidante. However, they'd misjudged the situation. I had no intention of arguing with her. Seeing that I remained unmoved, Rong Yuwei continued with a smile, "The Cheng family's business is large, and they have to support such a large family. My husband has a heavy burden. He may look cold, but he's very caring. He doesn't let me do anything or worry about anything. He only wants me to take care of my health and spend time talking with my mother. He says that when I take over as the matriarch of the Cheng family, I'll have to manage the household and raise the children. I'll be exhausted then. Right now, I don't want anything else. I just want to get pregnant with the Cheng family's eldest grandson as soon as possible. When my husband isn't home during the day, I can look after our children. I heard my cousin is also a talented woman. She can help me take care of them when she has time and teach them poetry. Is that alright? Look at me, I'm so confused. How can my cousin help me take care of the children after she gets married? I deserve a beating, I really deserve a beating!" Rong Yuwei doesn't like me. Does she know about my relationship with Cheng Zhuri? It's not surprising that she knew; the Rong family has connections everywhere, so finding out anything is a piece of cake for them. However, the current situation seems like a melodramatic scene often seen on TV in my past life, where the first wife shows off to the second wife. But Rong Yuwei has mistaken her for someone else. I'm not Cheng Zhuri's second wife, and it's not my place to give you attitude. Even if my heart is bleeding, I'll pretend to be all smiles in front of you. So I smiled sweetly and said, "Cousin is a good man, gentle and considerate. He's taken good care of Xiaoxiao in the past. Cousin's wife is truly blessed to have married him. Moreover, she's well-educated and reasonable, always putting cousin and family first. Even if cousin takes another concubine in the future, with her family background and character, you'll still be the one who wins his heart the most." Rong Yuwei's expression showed a momentary surprise, but it vanished in an instant. She quickly chatted with me for a while before going back. Let's say we're even since it was our first meeting. I have no hope of getting married in this life, and I can't just sit around waiting to die. So I've decided to dedicate myself to my career, thinking about how I can use my strengths to contribute to society in some small way. I wouldn't call myself a scholar, but I can teach children to read and write. I've decided to become a free teacher, but I can't go out freely, so I've set my sights on illiterate girls among the servants of the married family. Having made my decision, I came to my aunt today for her support. "Aunt, how about this? It doesn't cost the family any money. We just need to clear out a room, find a few tables and chairs, and outsiders will say that the married master treats his servants well." "No, that's not appropriate. A room isn't a problem, but what master teaches his servants? You're still a young lady, and besides, your health can't handle it."

"But I only teach girls, and it's all at home. There are only five of them, and I only teach them for two hours a day. There's nothing wrong with my health. What else can I do? Zhuqin is busy preparing for her wedding and doesn't have time for me. I can't get close to Zhuqi and Zhushu either. What else can I do? This life is so boring!" "It's really hard on you to wait for two years. Here's what we'll do: have the servants clean that empty room in the west wing for you. But don't overexert yourself. Look how thin you are. Add a bowl of pig's feet soup tonight." "Auntie is so kind!" "By the way, have you been taking those sweet fermented rice balls for so long? Are they working?" She nodded somewhat shyly. "That's good! I heard you've been avoiding Zhuri lately. Is that true?" Now that our statuses are different, what can we say when we meet in private? My aunt patted my hand. "Good child, we haven't spoiled you all these years for nothing. What we did was right. Your uncle is very pleased with your performance. But don't worry, you'll have a place in the family. Although Yuwei is of high status and strong-willed, she's respectful to me and your uncle. She's a decent daughter-in-law, but she doesn't seem to know how to take care of people. Recently, she's looked unwell and thin. She's hoping you'll join the family soon so she can take good care of him. Yuwei is used to being waited on and is still a bit inexperienced in this area." I also don't know how to take care of men, and I don't want to get married in this life. I really wanted to blurt it out, but I held back. I'll talk about it later. I'll just live well for the next two years.

First Version: Falling in Love is Easy, Staying Together is Hard - Chapter Thirty-Five: The Powerful Cheng Zhu Ri

Choosing to teach is probably the most meaningful thing I've done since starting my family. The pure eyes, innocent smiles, and crisp voices calling out "Master" to the five children fill me with immense satisfaction. The daily lessons are simple: first, they learn two large characters and a Tang poem, followed by singing and games. Tea and snacks are provided during breaks, and if there's extra time, stories are told. Like most children in the world, perhaps my teaching method is wrong, they initially lacked interest in writing and learning poetry, but their enthusiasm soared in the later parts. Although the lessons are simple, I prepare the lesson plan for the next day every night. The poems I choose are appropriate for their age and comprehension, and the stories are carefully crafted, incorporating elements of truth, goodness, beauty, and inspiration. Perhaps because they were girls and not valued by their parents, their clothes were old, all hand-me-downs from their sisters or relatives. I spent five qian of silver out of my own pocket to make two sets of clothes for each of them as school uniforms. Aunt Ma gave me a basket of red dates as a token of her gratitude, saying that seeing my pale face, the red dates from her hometown were the best for replenishing blood. I was incredibly moved holding that basket of red dates. It felt just like in the movies of my past life, where city teachers went to teach in rural areas, and the villagers expressed their gratitude with the fruits of their labor. The three communal meals every day were truly a difficult time to endure, because I had to see Rong Yuwei and respectfully call her "Sister-in-law." I always thought that I would be in constant trouble from that day on, but she wasn't. Whatever she thought, it was for the best; I was happy to have some peace and quiet. Now she sits beside Cheng Zhuri, looking at the white hairpin. My appetite is getting worse and worse, but for the sake of my health and not wanting to be pitied, I force myself to swallow every meal. When others are around, I smile more happily than ever. Cheng Zhuri understands me best. He noticed that my eyes often lingered on the white hairpin and my unusual smile, and I looked worried. But I ignored his concerned gaze. Although he came to visit from time to time, I avoided him with various excuses. I told Xiaohe to refuse all the stews and snacks he sent. I wanted to distance myself from him. Although I met him first and we were already in love, what was required here was the consent of our parents and the words of the matchmaker, which Cheng Zhuri and I had neither of.

"Miss, the eldest young master wants to see you in the courtyard." "Just tell him I've already gone to bed." "He won't see you again, it's definitely because you're the eldest young mistress." Xiao He muttered under her breath as she walked towards the door, "You can't sleep well at night whenever you don't see the eldest young master, why do you do this?" I'm not really afraid of Rong Yuwei, I just can't get over this hurdle in my mind. What would it be if we met at night, an affair?

With a loud "bang!", the door was kicked open, startling me. "How did you get in? This is against the rules." She was wearing an open undergarment, revealing her pink bodice, and quickly clutched her clothes. Cheng Zhuri frowned, displeased, and said in a deep voice, "Now even you're talking to me about rules. You've been here countless times before, and you'll be mine sooner or later. Xiaohe, you should leave!" "Xiaohe, don't go!" she cried, looking at him pleadingly. Seeing Cheng Zhuri's sharp gaze, Xiaohe shrank back, but ultimately retreated, closing the door behind her. So, she's switched sides now. Xiaohe, you're doomed. "Didn't you say you were going to sleep?" A mocking smile spread across Cheng Zhuri's lips. "I just finished writing the lessons I'll be teaching tomorrow, and I'm going to sleep right away." The stern look on Cheng Zhuri's face suddenly vanished, and he changed his tone, smiling, "Xiaoxiao likes children so much, she'll definitely be a good mother in the future."

"I...I'm tired. I have to teach tomorrow, so I really need to sleep. Cousin, you should go home first." "Why are you avoiding me? Don't forget what you promised." "I did promise to try, but I tried, and I couldn't do it." Cheng Zhuri's eyes darkened. "Don't argue with me. I, Cheng Zhuri, can give up anything in my life, except my woman. From childhood to adulthood, everything has been arranged by my parents. To live up to their expectations, I've learned what I was supposed to learn and done what I was supposed to do, doing my best even though much of it was things I didn't like or wanted to do. Although it was tiring, I never complained. After all, I was born the eldest son of the Cheng family. I thought that by doing all this, I could ask for something I wanted. I don't ask for anything else. In this life, I only want to marry Xiaoxiao, to have children with her, to have her sit beside me like a mother, serving me meals three times a day, and to grow old together like other couples. As long as you're with me, I'm not afraid of any hardship or fatigue. After returning from the tomb sweeping, I wanted to ask my father for your hand in marriage. Do you know how long I've waited for this day? But fate played a cruel trick. When Xiaoxiao finally grew up and was ready to marry, heaven arranged for Rong Yuwei to be mine instead. My father's matter..." "Settling down is the priority. The Rong family's power weighed heavily on my shoulders, and I bowed my head. But seeing you grow more and more taciturn each day, your appearance increasingly haggard, and then almost suffering humiliation and losing your life, I knew I had made a mistake. At that time, I was determined to fight back, even if it meant tearing a hole in the sky. I wanted to ask God, why can't we, who know and love each other, be together? Xiaoxiao, it was you who wouldn't let me fight! It was you who forced me to marry Rong Yuwei! It was you who made me repay your parents' debt of gratitude for raising you! I did what you asked, and you owe me. How will you repay me? The first skill my cousin learned from Uncle Qi was accounting. This debt was settled long ago. Xiaoxiao will be with me for life and will bear my child. I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, but our blood must be connected. But it will be a hardship for Xiaoxiao to be a concubine. This is what I owe you, and I will repay you with my whole life. My cousin knows what you're afraid of. Don't worry, I will handle it. With me here, Yuwei won't make things difficult for you. Trust me."

Her mind was a jumbled mess. This assertive Cheng Zhuri was a stranger to her. "Rong Yuwei truly loves you. I don't like her at all, not even a little bit, but she's innocent." "No one in the world is innocent. Because of the Rong family's power, I can only be chosen by her, without even the right to refuse. There are countless young men from noble families in Bianjing City who are more powerful, wealthy, and talented than me. Why does she have to choose me? Father agreed to the marriage without even asking if I wanted to. Since no one cares about us, we should plan for ourselves. How could I not know her feelings? Since I've married her, I will ensure she has no worries about food or clothing and live a glamorous and respectable life. Xiaoxiao, put away your little schemes. Anyone in this world can scheme against me, but not you. We are destined to be bound together for life, and no one can separate us." "Xiaoxiao can't be my cousin's second wife, but my heart hasn't changed. I won't marry my cousin, and I won't marry anyone else. Cousin, let's be brother and sister." Cheng Zhuri's laughter was tinged with sadness. "Xiaoxiao, you really know how to hurt people. You asked me to meet the demands of the Rong and Cheng families, and now you want to sever ties with me. Don't spout nonsense about being siblings. We've done such intimate things, how can we still be siblings? You can't let go of me at all. Don't be afraid, your cousin is always by your side. No one can hurt you." It wasn't that intimate, was it? We only shared one kiss. "I don't want to be a femme fatale!" A flash of starlight pierced Cheng Zhuri's eyes. "What femme fatale? Even if Xiaoxiao were a cup of poison, I'd drink it down and take you to the underworld with me, without regret. If I can't even have or protect my own woman, I wouldn't deserve to be called a man!"

After Cheng left, my modern consciousness clashed with my feudal mindset, and reason and emotion were locked in a fierce battle:

"No matter how wonderful your past was, he's already married. Being with him again would be what people call a mistress, a vixen who destroys someone else's family happiness." "Even without me, they wouldn't be happy. Cheng Zhuri and I met first, and we truly love each other. If a person's heart can change so easily, can it still be considered true love? Besides, there's no such thing as a mistress here. Wealthy families can take concubines; circumstances change. In our past lives, we were always told to adapt to changing circumstances. And Cheng Zhuri's affection for me is so deep, so rare. You come from modern society; you should know its preciousness and pricelessness. Giving up like this would be such a pity." "Love doesn't guarantee a lasting relationship. As long as you have each other in your hearts, it's eternal." "Cheng Zhuri seems determined to get what he wants. If you persist, something terrible might happen. Your aunt will be heartbroken, and it might even implicate Xing'er and Zhuqin. Why don't you sacrifice yourself?" "How can that be? Sacrifice has to be appropriate. How can you be so unprincipled? You've seen plenty of those dramas on TV where the first wife schemes against the second. Even if she can't hurt you, can you stand living that kind of scheming life every day?" "Cheng Zhuri won't let me live like that. He is indeed a very shrewd man. Rong Yuwei's obsession with him will have its limits. Besides, she's not a stupid woman; she wouldn't use such despicable methods." "Why do women have to make things difficult for each other? This is so unfair to Rong Yuwei. There are plenty of men in the world." "Is it fair to me? Is it fair to Cheng Zhuri? I met him first. No matter how many men there are in the world, only one can move my heart, and only he is willing to be childless for me. Where else can you find a man like that?" "Your husband sleeps with another woman half the time. Can you stand that? Probably not even half the time."

"You gain some things and lose others; it's better than gaining nothing at all." "You two are related by blood, aren't you afraid of problems with your offspring?" "Several couples in the Cheng family are related by blood, and their children have no problems. What a coincidence that I happened to be the one to run into them."

“Perhaps they had children they couldn’t raise before, but you just haven’t seen them.” “Rong Yuwei didn’t actually make things difficult for you; it’s just that insecure women are sending signals to keep you away from Cheng Zhuri. If it were me, I might do the same.” “He’ll make things difficult for me in the future. Cheng Zhuri won’t let me go. If his attitude doesn’t change, Rong Yuwei will always see me as an enemy. No matter if I marry Cheng Zhuri or not, I won’t have a peaceful life. I might as well just take his place.” “Miss.” Xiao He called from outside the door. “Didn’t I tell you not to bother me? I’m thinking about something.” “Cheng Shun is at the outer gate. Bring me the pig’s feet and peanut soup.” “I’m not hungry. I don’t want to eat.” “Cheng Shun said that the eldest young master instructed that if Miss doesn’t drink it, he will stand outside the garden until you finish drinking it before he can go back.” “Then bring it in.”

First Version: Falling in Love is Easy, Staying Together is Difficult; Chapter Thirty-Six: Zhu Qin's Marriage

Granny Wang entered carrying a bowl of medicine. "Miss, drink it while it's hot. I brewed it myself. Madam drank this secret recipe for having a son, and both her children were boys." Rong Yuwei frowned slightly and drank it all in one gulp. "Here, have a bite of candied fruit. Good medicine tastes bitter, but I guarantee you'll have a big, healthy boy." Granny Wang saw Rong Yuwei deep in thought. "Miss, are you still worried about that matter?" Rong Yuwei's eyes softened, as if recalling the most beautiful memories. Gone was her usual haughty and aristocratic air; her voice was gentle, like water, revealing her as an ordinary woman in love. "Granny," she said, "everyone says I chose my husband over so many noblemen because I was attracted to his looks. I was indeed initially drawn to his dignified appearance; I've never seen a more handsome man in my life. But what truly captivated me was his noble and extraordinary character, and those wise eyes. As the legitimate daughter of the Prefect, everyone flatters me, but how many are truly sincere behind my back? At the Chrysanthemum Festival, my husband didn't even glance at me. No man has ever been so cold to me. At first, I thought he was playing hard to get, but it turns out he genuinely doesn't care about me. I've asked my second brother to help me find out about his character." "My husband is indeed a rare gentleman, and his family is well-off. He's also the eldest son, which is why I decided to marry him. After our marriage, we treated each other with respect. He always prioritized the family business, and he was neither arrogant nor humble towards me. Although he leaves early and returns late every day, and doesn't have much time to spend with me, responsible men have always been like this. My husband is a worthy man for a woman to entrust her life to. But I also know that his feelings for that girl Wen are not ordinary. My husband and I share the same bed, and over time, I refuse to believe I'll lose to that girl. Aside from her seductive face, she has nothing that compares to me. I just haven't figured out how to deal with her yet, and I don't want to act rashly. First, my husband absolutely cannot know about this, and second, if I do act, it will be decisive." Her tone was firm at the end, her eyes sharp as a blade. Granny Wang comforted her, saying, "Killing one or two maids is like crushing an ant. I have plenty of ways to do it, but now is not the time. Miss has only been married for less than two months, and her position is not yet secure. If the young master hears any rumors, it could create a rift between you and your husband, affecting your relationship. It's not worth it. No matter how powerful the Rong family is, can they control matters within the household or the hearts of men? Miss should first find a way to win over the young master's heart. Besides, that maid is nothing now. Furthermore, we are not confident that we can keep it a secret forever." "Young master, he's seen the world, a shrewd man. I've lived for over fifty, and even his eyes seem a little dim now. In my opinion, Miss, put the matter of that maid aside for now, and quickly give the young master a son or daughter to secure your position in the household. I think that maid is quite sensible; she never gets close to the young master. If she truly has such intentions, then we can deal with her later. As long as you make up your mind then, I'll help you. But then again, this is also a sin, it will damage your karma. Miss, you must think carefully." "Don't worry, Granny, I know what I'm doing. I won't do anything that damages my karma. This is to accumulate good karma for myself and our future child. I want to grow old with my husband."

“Female teacher, look how beautiful these flowers are, just like you.” Chunxing handed me a freshly picked crape myrtle flower.

I lowered my head and took it. "It's beautiful, but if you pick it, it will wither quickly. If you let it grow on the branch, it can bloom longer, and more people can see it." Thinking of this, I took the opportunity to teach them some environmental knowledge. "Babies, come here. Today we'll have a lesson in the garden. We won't learn poetry or calligraphy, just a story about the great writer Bai Juyi's strict self-discipline: During his three years as governor of Hangzhou, Bai Juyi did not take a single penny or item from the people, and his reputation for good governance was excellent. When he returned home after leaving office, looking back on his past, he realized that he had made a mistake in Hangzhou: he had brought..." He took back two of his favorite rocks. He thought, if all tourists did this, wouldn't Tianzhu Mountain cease to be a mountain in the long run? He felt sorry for Hangzhou and Tianzhu Mountain, so he wrote a poem, "Rhyming Autumn Sun," to reflect on himself. The poem reads: "For three years I served as governor, drinking water and eating leaves. Only from Tianzhu Mountain did I obtain two rocks. These are worth a thousand gold pieces, but haven't they damaged my integrity…" He felt that taking these two rocks was like unjustly embezzling a "thousand gold pieces," damaging his "integrity." "There are many flowers in this garden. If every family picks one, the garden will become barren, and we will no longer be able to appreciate the beauty…" After listening, they all nodded seriously. In the early stages of teaching, I thought they would ask all sorts of tricky questions, like scenes from TV shows or movies, and I prepared many solutions in advance. But this didn't happen. They were all very obedient and well-behaved, listening to me without question. The feudal hierarchy was deeply rooted in their blood. In their eyes, I was the master, the teacher, and everything I said was the truth. Now I devote all my energy to teaching and preparing a wedding gift for Zhuqin. I've gotten used to a comfortable and wealthy life, and I don't want to leave to start a family. Also, my face is too attractive, and the outside world is too chaotic. I'm afraid of something terrible happening that I can't handle. I can't just leave in a huff because I've lost a man. It's too difficult for a single woman to survive in this turbid world. Time flies, I'm another year older, and Zhuqin is getting married tomorrow, parting ways with her good friend. There are no phones or cell phones now, and women can't go out freely; seeing each other again will be difficult. While I'm happy for her, I also feel a pang of sadness. Today, I specially visited to deliver her carefully prepared wedding gift. "Zhuqin, is everything ready? Let me see your wedding dress, shall I?" "It's on the bed, what do you think?" The satin embroidery with gold patterns, wide sleeves and a narrow waist, vibrant colors, exquisite embroidery, and lifelike images, a masterpiece of craftsmanship combining embroidery and beadwork. I can't help but sigh, "It's so beautiful, Zhuqin's skills are truly excellent." "I know the bitterness in your heart. These past few months, besides cooking and teaching, you've locked yourself in your room. My brother, who's never been much of a talker, is even quieter now. Seeing you like this makes me sad too." This isn't a problem with the main wife. “Zhuqin, don’t talk about that. You’re leaving tomorrow. Look at the wedding gift I prepared for you. Isn’t it beautiful? Grandma said these jade earrings were my mother’s favorite when she was alive. Now I’m giving them to you on her behalf.” Zhuqin was quite unhappy that I changed the subject, but she didn’t press me any further. She took the earrings and examined them carefully, then held them up to the sunlight. “The texture is delicate, pure, and flawless. The color is pure and even. This is a top-grade jade. Since it’s your aunt’s, you should keep it. I can’t accept it.” She put the jade earrings back into my hand. “Chengjia has given Xiaoxiao a place to live and shelter from the rain, ensuring I have enough to eat and wear. My aunt treats me like her own daughter, always caring for me. My sister and I have gotten along very well since childhood. You’ve all treated me extremely well. I want to give this wedding gift to my niece on behalf of my mother’s spirit. And this niece is her sister’s only daughter. Why can’t I accept it? I think my mother would be happy that I did this. Please don’t refuse!”

“Since that’s the case, then I’ll accept it.” A delicate dressing case on the bedside table caught my eye. “This box is so exquisite.” I opened it and found it full of jewels.

"It was from my sister-in-law." Rong Yuwei was so generous; in comparison, my jade earrings seemed shabby. "She's a good sister-in-law to you."

Zhuqin remained silent. "And I've prepared my gift. Look, this is something I embroidered especially for you." "Red is fitting for the occasion, but what's this pattern? Why is there an arrow in the middle?" "I learned this from the barbarians. It represents the love between you and Young Master Jin, strung together by an arrow. The barbarians' love is different from ours; it's larger and stronger. You'll always be together, and he'll never change his heart towards you. But don't tell anyone, I'm only giving this to Zhuqin!" I dared not call it an arrow piercing a heart, so I changed it to "love threads." "Xiaoxiao has so many ideas, I really like it. But I don't ask for anything else, I only hope he has half the heart my elder brother has for you, and I'll be content." "Zhuqin, I wish you happiness! You will definitely be happy! You must think so too." Zhuqin didn't speak, only nodded vigorously. The next day, Zhuqin was stunningly beautiful. She wore a phoenix crown, a red veil over her face, an embroidered red robe, a necklace with a celestial official lock around her neck, a demon-revealing mirror on her chest, a wedding shawl over her shoulders, a bag for fertility on her shoulders, and "destiny silver" wrapped around her arms. She wore a red skirt and red trousers, and red satin embroidered shoes. Dressed in bright red, she was incredibly charming and beautiful. It was the first time I had ever witnessed the complexity and grandeur of ancient weddings. Amidst my aunt's tears and the thunderous sound of firecrackers celebrating her wedding, Zhuqin was married off in a grand and glorious manner.

First Version: Falling in Love is Easy, Staying Together is Hard - Chapter Thirty-Seven: Argument

More than two years after Cheng Zhuri's marriage, Rong Yuwei still hadn't conceived. Rumors circulated in Bianjing that the Cheng family had climbed the social ladder by marrying a woman who couldn't lay eggs. This caused great anxiety for both families, especially the Rong family, who were even more worried than Cheng Zhuri's parents. Every few days, they sent over many tonics and even had a doctor from the palace examine Rong Yuwei. They also prescribed a lot of aphrodisiacs for Cheng Zhuri. His parents were secretly unhappy about this, as it was clear the Rong family suspected Cheng Zhuri of being impotent. From ancient times to the present, this was the greatest insult to a man, unbearable for any parent. Moreover, Cheng Zhuri had always been Cheng Zhuri's pride. Master Mingxin had said that he was destined to be childless, perhaps referring to Cheng Zhuri's infertility. If he were to be impotent after their marriage, he certainly wouldn't have a son. No matter how deep Cheng Zhuri's affection for me was, he was, after all, a man of ancient times. Marriage was for procreation; he couldn't possibly remain celibate for me and not consummate his marriage with Rong Yuwei. If he married her, he would be responsible for her to the end and wouldn't let her live a life of widowhood. However, the thought of them sleeping in the same bed was truly heartbreaking. They had no children, which was a good thing for me; no one was forcing me to become Cheng Zhuri's concubine, and I lived a peaceful life. I used the excuse that I was still an unmarried girl and didn't want Rong Yuwei to look down on me, to ask Cheng Zhuri to keep a proper distance from me. He ultimately didn't want to force me, and although he didn't agree, he stopped contacting me privately.

Compared to Rong Yuwei, Zhuqin acted swiftly, giving birth to a son within a year of marriage. The elders of both the Cheng and Jin families were beaming with joy. Zhuqin is now incredibly powerful in the Jin family, able to walk with impunity. Today is the baby's one-month celebration, and I was eager to go, so I got up early to go to the Jin family first. I hadn't seen her in a long time and missed her dearly. Going there early meant the two of us sisters would have more time to chat. Motherhood really changes a person; Zhuqin is plump and radiant, with fair and rosy skin. The baby looks just like his mother, very beautiful, with pink skin, and loves to laugh, showing his bare gums and drooling. "Zhuqin, what's your name?" "We've thought of several names, but haven't decided yet." "I'll think of a really good name, guaranteed to bring wealth and prosperity." "Oh, tell me about it." "Golden Ingot," or "Golden Splendor" would be nice too. "You silly girl, always so uncouth! Such a common name doesn't suit my son." "Madam, Concubine Chen has come to pay her respects." Looking towards the sound, a woman about my age entered the room, smiling, her belly slightly protruding. She was about to kneel and pay her respects to Zhuqin, "Younger sister greets elder sister." "Younger sister, no need for formalities. My family has come, so you should go back now. Ruyue, take good care of your mistress."

Zhu Qin's expression was indifferent, and her voice was icy, completely different from before. I had never seen Zhu Qin like this before; she seemed so unfamiliar.

After the woman left, he asked, "Zhuqin, judging from her figure, she must have been taken in when you were pregnant, right?"

“I’m pregnant and can’t serve my husband, so the family has moved his head maid to a concubine.” What is this? His wife is pregnant, and he still has to find another woman to satisfy his sexual needs. Poor Zhuqin, what’s the use of being the main wife? She still has to share her man with someone else. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? It would have made me feel better.”

"What's the use of saying anything? This is a woman's fate. Fortunately, my husband treats me quite well. One shouldn't expect too much from a person."

Zhuqin's face showed a hint of sadness. Even women in ancient times were heartbroken by polygamy, but the traditional Confucian virtues instilled in them from childhood forced them to silently endure it. "That Concubine Chen isn't feeling well either, yet she still has to pay her respects every day. When will she be free?" "Until she gave birth, I know what you want to say. I've never made things difficult for her. Since she became pregnant, I haven't made her kneel, but I have to ask. However, paying respects is still required; it's the rule. A kind person is often bullied, a good horse is often ridden. I'm just protecting myself and establishing my own position." If I were to marry Cheng Zhuri, that woman would be me tomorrow. Seeing my silence, Zhuqin comforted me, "Xiaoxiao, don't think too much. You and she are different, and your elder brother and husband are different people. You'll be with your elder brother; he won't let you suffer." Perhaps the degree is different, but the essence is the same. Before, I only worried about not sharing my man with others, about not being able to tolerate him spending half his days sleeping with other women. It turns out that being a concubine involves more than just these things; the status is also so lowly.

Perhaps it was the good fortune brought by Zhuqin's full-month celebration that brought good luck to the Cheng family, as another child was on the way. However, it wasn't Rong Yuwei, whom everyone had been hoping for, but rather their nearly 40-year-old aunt. The uncle was overjoyed; his facial features softened considerably. In ancient times, many children represented many blessings, especially since they were having a child late in life—a case of an old clam giving birth to a pearl—which also signified the uncle's abilities in certain areas. The elderly couple were indeed very loving. Because of the aunt's pregnancy, Rong Yuwei took over the household chores ahead of schedule. At first, I thought I would be in constant trouble, but my worries were unnecessary. The daily snacks and tea were the same as always, and life was no different from before. It must be said, she was a clever woman. After that, I observed her closely. To be honest, Rong Yuwei was indeed intelligent and capable, as if she was born to sit in this position. After her aunt taught her for three months, she managed the affairs of the Cheng family from top to bottom with great efficiency, showing a bit of Wang Xifeng's style of managing a household. When she first arrived at the Cheng family, she was indeed spoiled and pampered, with an innate aristocratic air flowing in her blood, giving people a sense of distance and lacking in approachability. However, most girls who are pampered by their parents are like this. Now, she has shed her airs as a rich young lady, and her respect and filial piety towards her aunt and uncle are genuine. You can tell from her eyes that she is considerate and attentive to her aunt. Considering her pregnancy, she personally selected the dishes for each of her three meals, ensuring no two meals were the same for five days. I was amazed by the greatness of love; everyone becomes so humble in the face of love, even the noble Rong Yuwei. For Cheng Zhuri, she constantly changed herself, transforming from a pampered princess into an ordinary young woman, diligently managing her family. The phrase "love me, love my dog" perfectly describes her. She strives to do her best for anyone or anything Cheng Zhuri cares about, except for me, of course. His eyes are always on me, watching me closely, even though I've always been well-behaved and never done anything out of line. If we weren't in this relationship, I would like Rong Yuwei. She has a clear pursuit of love, is beautiful, talented, and shrewd—a modern-day "career woman." I was just about to leave for class when Aunt Qin came over. "Miss, your cousin Liu's wife is bringing you some tonics and said she'd like to see you. The Madam asked me to come and ask you. If you don't want to see her, please tell her off." "I want to see her. Xiao He, quickly go and invite my cousin's wife over." She's my savior, and I haven't thanked her in person yet.

A moment later, Xiaohe led her cousin-in-law in. "Xiaohe, tell Bao'er and the others that they won't be attending class today, and they can make it up tomorrow."