The document is clear to the world

Chapter 88

Zhi'er remained resolute, "Is Sang Sang prettier, or is Zhi'er prettier?"

I was speechless for a moment and unable to make a judgment.

Fourth Sister-in-law laughed in agreement, "Everyone has witnessed Zhi'er's beauty; who would dare to steal your thunder?"

Zhi'er arrogantly raised her head, "I just don't like Sang Sang. Everyone says she looks like me, but I don't like things that are the same as other people."

I frowned slightly. Although children speak without thinking, she's only five years old, yet she's so domineering. It seems she's truly been spoiled by everyone. I released Sangsang and pulled Zhi'er closer, gently smoothing her collar. "Of course, our Zhi'er is the most beautiful, but I can't compare you to Sangsang because... Sangsang is still young. Different people have different charms, different kinds of beauty; it's hard to say one is more beautiful than the other."

"Then Mother likes me even more now."

I couldn't help but smile and nod. Perhaps deep down, my feelings for Zhi'er weren't just regret for not being able to raise him from a young age, but also... a deep love from the bottom of my heart. He was the first child I brought into this world, and the only flesh and blood I survived. He contained so many of my emotions and touched so many of my sensitive nerves.

Zhi'er smiled with satisfaction, "That's right, that's what Father said too, and he likes Zhi'er even more."

“Of course your father dotes on you. But—” I gradually stopped smiling, “A mother’s child can be proud, but should never be spoiled.”

That person said the same thing to me many years ago.

I glanced at the silent children around me. “These words… are not only for your sister, but you older brothers should also remember them.”

"Yes," came a few childish voices in response.

Zhi'er pouted and looked at me, "I know, Mother... Zhi'er is being temperamental."

“This time, I won’t blame you.” I smiled and let go of her. “Go have some snacks with your brothers. Come on, take your cousin Sangsang with you.”

Before Zhi'er could take Sang Sang's little hand, Yin'er quickly half-embraced Sang Sang and led her to the dining table next to them.

Watching the departing figures in twos and threes, I sighed softly and looked at Consort Ding, "This child... I'm afraid she's been spoiled too much by the Seventh Prince. Her temperament is a result of my stubbornness. If anyone is to blame, it's me; I haven't paid much attention to this child over the years."

After exchanging a few words with my sisters-in-law, I went to the courtyard to admire the roses that had been presented as tribute. I felt someone tug at my sleeve from behind. When I turned around, I saw Sangsang looking up at me with wide eyes. I squatted down and pulled her to my side. "Why didn't you go play with your older brothers and sisters?"

She shook her head. "I...want to see...Auntie."

"Look at me?!" I patted her head with a smile.

She lowered her head, seemingly sobbing, "With the little sister gone from the manor... Sangsang is also heartbroken."

I nodded. I heard that my fourth sister-in-law's youngest daughter had recently drowned. I wasn't feeling well at the time, so I didn't have time to visit her. I suppose the little girl passed away during the Lunar New Year. She was already unnoticed while she was alive, and after her death, she was even more easily forgotten. It's no wonder my fourth sister-in-law is heartbroken; I understand the pain of losing a child myself.

Sangsang tugged at me again, "Auntie... my little sister died because I was naughty. My mother is always sad when she sees me. Can you take me to stay at Uncle Qi's house for a few days, Auntie?"

Before I could say anything, I heard my fourth sister-in-law walk up quickly behind me, put her arm around Sangsang, and say, “Sangsang, did your mother ever feel sad when she saw you? Now that your little sister is gone, and you’re gone too, how can your mother feel good?”

Seeing my fourth sister-in-law's red eyes, I couldn't bear it and comforted her, "Fourth sister-in-law, Sangsang misses you dearly, how could she leave you?"

I had the old woman take Sangsang away, and I helped my fourth sister-in-law sit down in the small bamboo pavilion. My fourth sister-in-law looked at me sadly and said, "I raised her from the bottom of my heart. She is as precious to me as Jingqing. She is my lifeblood."

"Was this all because of Sangsang?"

"What does one child have to do with her?" Fourth Sister-in-law shook her head. "It's that poor child who doesn't have that blessing."

"Fourth Sister-in-law, don't be sad. The more you think about it, the deeper the pain will become."

Fourth Sister-in-law looked at me sadly, "Zhao'er, you don't understand, that child..."

I gave a bitter smile. "How could I not understand? At least Fourth Sister-in-law and that child still have more than a year of connection, but I..."

Fourth Sister-in-law looked at me with puzzlement, "You have everything you need now, what more could you ask for?"

I trembled, and tears welled up in my eyes. "Fourth Sister-in-law, do I really have it?"

I tilted my head slightly and looked at the scene not far away where the nanny was following behind Jing Ai and coaxing him. I smiled faintly and said, "My child only has one chance to meet me."

Fourth Sister-in-law trembled and looked at me with confusion.

I chuckled softly at her, tears falling onto the stone table. "Back then, the Prince Ning's mansion not only lost a concubine, but also a legitimate son..."

Fourth Sister-in-law took a deep breath, "That Jing Ai..."

I closed my eyes, trembling. "It's that woman's son... My child died long ago in the purification basin of Chaoyang Palace..."

Fourth Sister-in-law covered her mouth with one hand, "It's the Emperor."

I smiled slightly, opened my eyes, and slowly got up. Turning around, I saw only a pair of cold eyes looking at me with a hint of disbelief.

I bowed slightly, "Fourth Master."

His expression was stiff. "That child—"

"Didn't Fourth Master hear everything?" I turned my head away. "Why ask again?"

I walked past him, my voice soft, "Fourth Master, back then you hated and resented me because of my wicked intentions, but when I decided to let go of everything, what did I gain—or rather, what did I still have—"

The figure remained motionless; the wind blew, and my tears scattered…

As I walked towards Yin'er's and the others' palace, I saw the imperial procession approaching. I knelt down expressionlessly, and their eyes scrutinized me before they simply sighed softly, "Rise, we're family, no need for such formalities..."

Two years have passed. No matter how we meet, I no longer look up at his face, afraid that if I do, seeing that once kind and smiling face, I will be reminded of the young life he ordered to drown...

"So you still refuse to look at me?" a muffled voice came from behind.

I didn't answer, let out another long sigh, and then the group walked away from me, further and further away...

Chapter Seven: The Game

On the way back, looking at Lu Zhen who hadn't said a word for a long time, and remembering that she had recently heard that he had angered Yi Ling, she took his hand and said, "Zhen'er, do you still remember when your mother took you to the palace to shoot wild geese with your uncles and cousins?"

Lu Zhen nodded, "I remember it all. Back then, I lived in my mother's room. She would come every night to check my homework, tuck the blankets around me, and sing lullabies to lull me to sleep."

I smiled. "If it weren't for all these things that happened, you'd be in my room right now, being as affectionate with me as you used to be, wouldn't you?"

Lu Zhen raised his head tremblingly, his eyes seemingly filled with tears, "Mother, do you know how many nights I've dreamt of those days all these years?"

I sighed and slowly tightened my grip on his hand. "Zhen'er, your mother is heavily pregnant now. You need to take on more responsibility and not make her worry."

“Your son knows.” Lu Zhen nodded firmly. “Your son knows everything in his heart…”

The carriage stopped outside the mansion gate, and Liu Shang rushed out in a few steps. "Master, the master has returned early."

I nodded and was about to help Zhi'er out of the car when I heard Liu Shang whisper behind me, "Master is currently with Madam Yao. I heard he rushed back early because she wasn't feeling well."

I didn't say anything, took Rui'er's hand with one hand, and stepped through the gate. The old nanny from the other courtyard greeted me with a happy face, "Your Highness is back. The imperial physician has come to see you. Madam Yao from the other courtyard is pregnant. He said she is more than a month along."

I smiled at her and said, "It really is good news. I'll send someone to the palace to let you know. Please keep an eye on things for me and tell them I'll go there once I've settled the child."

After taking a few steps, I saw Lu Li coming out of the courtyard. When he saw me, he paused, but finally smiled faintly and said, "I'm back."

I smiled nonchalantly. "Yes. Master is back."

She nodded slightly to him, then took the children and walked straight over.

Lu Li returned home. It was a rare occasion for the whole family to sit together for a meal in the main hall. He sat in the seat of honor. I sat to his right. Pang Ying and Yi Ling sat on the other side. At the table, I was busy feeding Jing Rui as usual. I had long since grown accustomed to caring for the child myself; it felt strange to have others help. Meanwhile, Lu Li occasionally chatted with Yao Shuhuan and Yi Ling about trivial matters, occasionally letting out a laugh.

Yao Shuhuan was suffering from severe morning sickness. She barely ate a few bites before uncomfortably putting down her chopsticks and leaving the house. Lu Li nervously followed her out. I, on the other hand, smiled and watched the children eat heartily.

After the meal was finished, I rinsed my mouth and washed my hands. I instructed Liu Shang to lead Zhi'er back to her room. I watched as the nanny carried Jing Ai to the side room before lifting the curtain and entering my own inner room. Jing Rui was sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for me. I went over and stroked his little face. "Why didn't you dare to eat today when your father came back?"

He reached out his little hand and covered my eyes. "Mom, I'm not hungry."

"Okay." I smiled, took his hand, and started to help him take off his clothes.

At night, I held him in my arms, gently patting him with one hand. Liu Shang tiptoed in and sat on the edge of my bed. "Master, I can't sleep. Would you like to talk to me?"

I smiled, moved Rui'er a little further inside, and made room for Liu Shang to come over.

"What did you say?" I asked with a smile.

"How long has it been since Master and Master slept together?"

Looking at Liu Shang's serious face, I smiled. "It seems like it's been a long time."

“It’s been a year and seven months.” Liu Shang said, glaring at me fiercely. “I’ve been wanting to ask this for a long time: why have you and Master been keeping a silent cold shoulder to each other since the birth of the little prince?”

I was stunned. Ever since that fragile life was sacrificed under imperial power, I had been terrified of bearing life and would no longer let Lu Li touch me. He, too, tacitly avoided entering my room. We understood each other without words, needing no forced pretense, and were even content with our own company. As time passed, my heart gradually calmed, from utter despair to indifference, until I finally achieved composure and self-control. This marriage, this entanglement in this life, I accepted it.

"It's nothing, I'm just a little tired and bored."

Seeing Liu Shang's "Is this a reason?" expression, I lowered my head and fiddled with the bed sheet.

"Now that Madam Yao is pregnant, it's inconvenient for her to serve you. This is your chance. You should take advantage of these next few months to win back the master's heart."

My heart sank. I wondered if I should go to the palace tomorrow to ask for a maid to serve Lu Li. With that thought, I fell asleep without realizing it.

The letter from Nalan Villa arrived early this morning, and I leaned against the window listening to Liu Shang read it word by word.

When will the alliance leader come to the village for a visit?

Will the manor lord attend this year's alliance meeting?

“A boy was chosen from the clan. The Water Palace Master said he could stay in the manor for education and asked the Manor Master to give him a name.”

"The Red-Clothed Cult has started an uprising at Yu Tian Mountain. Do you wish to participate, Master?"

"..."

I sat at my desk for a while, rubbed my head, and finally wrote the character "隙" (xi, meaning gap/gap) on my pen. I handed it to Liu Shang and said, "Send it back and say it was a gift from me."

Having said that, I got up and went outside. The cool breeze made me feel refreshed. Nalan Xi… will this child one day take over my great cause? What an unlucky child. I shook my head. Two years ago, the Water Palace Master urged me to take the child back to raise him according to the young master's requirements. So, I secretly had the Water Palace Master choose a suitable child from the clan to be adopted into my name. I only needed to give him a nominal mother and the surname "Nalan," and he could inherit everything from me. In this daze, it seems I have another child. I just don't know if this child needs my love. Seeing him shoulder these responsibilities in the future, I feel I can't be stingy with any amount of care I give him now…

Seeing Siliang approaching from a distance, he asked, "Where is Zhi'er? I don't see her studying in the house."

"Perhaps in the study," Siliang replied as she busied herself wiping Jing'ai's face.

Pushing open the study door, I saw Lu Li holding Zhi'er in one arm and holding her little hand in the other, writing calligraphy. I was stunned for a moment, but I walked over naturally and smiled slightly at Zhi'er, "Girl, didn't we agree yesterday to go to your fifth uncle's house today?"

Zhi'er's eyes lit up. "Yes, we agreed to go and try Godmother's cooking."

"Alright, all you care about is food," I said angrily as I pulled her over.

Lu Li put her down and slightly curled the corners of his lips. "How come I didn't know that Zhi'er had recognized a godmother?"

“It’s Yu Chang.” I didn’t look at him, I just said.

Lu Li nodded, then seemed to remember something, "I heard you gave Yu Ning's child a nickname. You don't blame Xiao Yi anymore?"

I turned around and smiled faintly, "Why should I resent him? Isn't he tired enough already?"

Lu Li pursed her lips. "I'm in Jiangnan—"

"Mother, are we still going or not?" Zhi'er was already standing outside the door with an angry look on her face.

"Coming, coming right away," I said, turning back to Lu Li and adding, "Master, let's talk about it at the dinner table."

Yushang's tea brewing skills are getting better and better. I can often sit with her for most of the day, and we always have so much to talk about.

"Girl, how did we end up like this?" Yu Chang smiled faintly.