The document is clear to the world

Chapter 105

"The palace servants say it's true that you dote on other people's children! You never comfort Jing or tuck the blankets around Brother Yin. You never care about what's wrong with Brother Jing, or whether he's alright. When he cries or makes a fuss, you just pretend you don't hear it! You treat Xi'er like a treasure no matter what! Did Mother not want me in the first place because she looked down on me?!"

"Alright, that's enough for today. Go back to sleep." Seeing her relentless attempts to argue, I felt even more annoyed.

"Is Zhi'er really Mother Consort's biological son?"

"What are you saying?!" My head was buzzing with anger. "You mean, I'm not your biological mother?" I asked, my voice trembling. My tone was low and not firm, but I still clearly heard her reply. She shrank back in fright at the loud bang on the table. She tried desperately to control her temper, but the anger was impossible to suppress, gradually piercing through her thin shred of reason. "Get out! What haven't I done for you since you were little? Have I ever stopped you just because I didn't like it? Consider it a waste of my time raising you as a daughter. Get out! I'm not your mother! Go find whoever you want, and don't come talking to me again!" My mind was filled with all sorts of noises; I didn't even know what I was saying. I just stood there, trembling, holding onto the edge of the table, pointing towards the door.

With red eyes, Zhi'er turned and left. Just then, Lu Li came in. She called out "Father" and turned to leave the study.

"What are you doing here?" I said irritably. "The register says today is Hongling Courtyard. If you don't go, I'll have to pay you back tomorrow!"

"I'm not in a hurry. I just wanted to come and see Zhi'er."

"You should come and see the good daughter you've raised!" I pointed at the little figure walking away, trembling with anger!

He stood at the door, looking at me with a bit of surprise, then turned back to look at Zhi'er, shook his head and smiled, "I knew you two would have a fight. The child is young, and you're not often by her side, so it's no wonder you have some grudges."

"Having a daughter is just asking for trouble." My anger only grew stronger, and I smashed all the books on the table onto the floor. I stormed out, not forgetting to add, "Go wherever you want, don't give me a headache!"

Rubbing his head, he walked towards the back hall, feeling that his anger had subsided considerably. Lu Li was right; he hadn't cared for this child enough. It wasn't that he was unwilling, but he always felt a surge of emotion every time he looked at her, a feeling similar to when he looked at a landscape.

As I passed through the Eastern Palace Imperial Garden, I saw a figure standing by a pavilion, carrying two jars of wine. The figure waved to me. Confused, I walked up to him. "The Eastern Palace is locked, how did you get in?"

"What's the point of having two legs?" Lu Xiu rolled his eyes at me. "Can't you climb over walls?"

I looked at the table full of food and drinks. "Are you craving some wine?"

Lu Xiuyi pouted, "I'm in a bad mood!"

"You had a fight with Xiwen?" I immediately realized that Xiwen's mood had been strange at the family dinner today. "Don't you know how to be more considerate of others?"

Lu Xiu fell silent, so I quickly poured him a bowl of wine and pushed it towards him. "Tell me, what's the matter?"

"At today's family banquet, the Empress Dowager bestowed a persimmon cake upon her, but she only gave some to her own son and didn't care about the rest."

"Just for this?" Lu Xiu couldn't understand why he was being so petty. "It's right that Xi Wen wouldn't give it to you! You're so carefree, how can you be as meticulous as us women? Xi'er is averse to persimmons. Last time I fed him a persimmon, and he had to go to the outhouse for three days. And Xi'er keeps calling you 'Dad,' yet you don't even know if he has any dietary restrictions, and you're blaming Xi Wen."

Upon hearing this, Lu Xiufang suddenly understood and felt much better. He downed a full bowl of wine in one gulp, grinned, and said, "I'll apologize to her tomorrow."

"That's right!"

I stared at Lu Xiu in disbelief. Xi Wen's feelings for Xi'er were just like my feelings for Jing: she really cared about this! Now I can see that it's no longer a question of whether or not I should bring Xi'er to my side, but rather that Lu Xiu's mind is only on that child, all his attention is on Xi'er, and Xi'er can't leave this often confused father.

I understand Xiwen's feelings, but whether Xi'er has any dietary restrictions is something I misjudged. I don't want Lu Xiu to argue with Xiwen about Xi'er; if they had a huge fight, would Xiwen really care for Xi'er? Only when the couple has a heart-to-heart talk will Xiwen truly care for Xi'er! I have no other thoughts than to find a way to make Xiwen treat the child better, even if it means coaxing and deceiving Lu Xiu. One persimmon cake and two chrysanthemum cakes—they certainly don't need that extra bite.

I raised my wine bowl and clinked it against Lu Xiu's. I glanced to the side and saw a light on in the ancestral hall to the west. I wondered, "Is there anyone guarding the ancestral hall so late?" I left Lu Xiu in the pavilion and slowly walked over with my wine bowl. I had never set foot in this ancestral hall before. I only knew that when Lu Li entered the palace, he moved the small ancestral hall from his former residence to the East Palace.

The ancestral hall's main door was ajar. In the dim light, I could only see Zhi'er clutching Qin Lanruo's memorial tablet, weeping bitterly. My heart was filled with mixed emotions. I felt that Zhi'er's resentment towards me wasn't without reason, and I felt a pang of regret. I stepped inside lightly, slowly approaching Zhi'er. I reached out to pull her closer, but she flinched, looking at me warily.

"Zhi'er, it's late. Go to sleep with your mother."

"I want to stay with my mother."

I was taken aback, and I really didn't know what to say.

Seeing a small, nameless memorial tablet in her arms, she softly asked, "Whose is this?"

"He's my mother's child, he died at birth! You gave birth to Jingdi, but you died too!" Zhi'er said defiantly, but every word pierced my heart! The small memorial tablet before me blurred, and I felt a surge of heat in my chest. I quickly covered my mouth, and blood trickled down my wrist through my fingers. Zhi'er panicked and stood up, dropping the memorial tablet to the ground. I struggled to catch the small wooden tablet, afraid of hurting my child. I tucked the cold tablet into my arms. Why was my child so cold? He was so warm when I held him in my arms years ago.

My head started throbbing again, a tight, throbbing pain spreading from my throat to my chest. A pair of grey and white boots fell before my eyes, and my voice trembled.

His robes proclaimed: "Lu Xiu—tell me, how did my child turn into this?! He's been all alone for so long, and I, his mother, haven't even come to see him!"

Lu Xiu forcefully pulled my shoulder, burying my face in his chest. Hatred, regret, all emotions gathered in my chest—I have thrown the world into chaos, prospered the Rong clan, done everything that others dared not or could not do. Everyone says I hold the world in my hands, yet I couldn't even hold onto my own infant child!

My eyelids were heavy, and my breathing became increasingly labored. I coughed a few times, turning to the side, and only then did I feel a little better. With difficulty, I looked up at the white-clad man sitting next to me. Lu Xiuzheng was wiping my mouth with a handkerchief. My mouth tasted metallic. Looking down at the handkerchief, I saw bloodstains, faint, speckled on the white cloth.

Lu Xiu's face was extremely grim. When he saw that I was awake, he propped up the pillow and helped me lean against it, complaining incessantly, "It's been so many years since I've seen you have an attack! When you do, you can scare someone to death! You should just focus on getting better. You should also quit drinking sooner or later."

I chuckled. "You'd be worse than killing me! Back then, I was pregnant and sick. I only remember that year it kept recurring until I took some medicinal food from the palace and got much better. It shouldn't have recurred. I guess it was because the cold wine aggravated my heart fire and caused all sorts of problems to arise."

He handed me the porcelain bowl, pretending to feed me the medicine, saying, "I'll help you quit, okay?!"

"Can a Prince Duan who doesn't drink still be a Prince Duan? Everyone calls him a Prince Duan, but I say he's more like a Prince of Wine!"

He blinked quickly, "I'm serious. You think we, one a wine king and the other a wine immortal, can learn anything from each other? I'm afraid if he becomes a wine saint in the future, we'll have nothing but worries! He's not that old now, but he's already learned to hold a gourd wine bottle and act like the drunken immortal Li Bai. He also loves to watch Nangong perform drunken boxing. What will become of him in the future?! Shouldn't we set an example?"

I was so captivated by his words that I couldn't even feel the pain I was going through. I reached out and grabbed the jade ring around his waist. "I know! You should leave now! This is still your seventh brother's Eastern Palace. Don't you think the harem is chaotic enough already?!"

He didn't seem to care at all, rolled onto the bed, put his arm around my shoulder, and pretended to be affectionate, "You're still my son's mother, aren't you?! No matter how much you're worried about gossip, where are you going to take me in the middle of the night?"

I didn't say anything more, turned over and slowly closed my eyes. "You can do as you please, I'm sleepy, I'm going to sleep now."

Before Lu Xiu could reply, he heard increasingly hurried footsteps outside the door. The curtain was lifted, and the person inside said urgently, "Your Highness—"

Lu Xiu lowered his voice and scolded in a low tone, "You wait outside."

I quickly closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. Lu Xiu carefully got up, covered me with the blanket, and slowly walked away. After he had completely gone, I lost my sleepiness. I put on my robe and sat by the window. I saw Liu Shang bowing his head and carefully saying to Lu Xiu, "You just made the princess kneel there, but now the young master refuses to get up no matter what."

Lu Xiu didn't speak, but simply followed Liu Shang westward. Lu Xiu was always eloquent and charming in front of the younger generation, the most popular with the children; I often called him the "King of the Kids." It wouldn't be Lu Xiu if he got angry at a child, but this time, making Zhi'er kneel as punishment was unprecedented. Even Lu Li hadn't done it, but Lu Xiu had! I figured this was going to be a tumultuous night, so I quickly got up from my chair, tightened my collar, grabbed the lantern by the door, and followed. Outside the ancestral hall, Zhi'er's thin figure knelt upright. Lu Xiu sighed, "Little ancestor, get up. Your mother will be the most heartbroken if you're injured. If you're sick and hurt, she'll probably strangle me!"

Zhi'er remained motionless, only looking up at Lu Xiu. "Eighth Uncle asked Zhi'er to reflect on his actions, but Zhi'er doesn't know where he went wrong."

Lu Xiu half-squatted in front of Zhi'er, patting her shoulder with one hand. "You've grown up, girl. You're no pushover. Looking at you, your Eighth Uncle is not planning to have any more daughters! Your bad temper really comes from your mother, and your stubbornness is just like your father's. Your father told you all a long time ago that no one is allowed to enter or leave this ancestral hall, especially not to be seen by your mother. Also, didn't you promise him that you wouldn't mention Aunt Qin's child in front of your mother? I heard you make that promise. But you haven't kept either of those promises. Is your Eighth Uncle wrong?"

Zhi'er lowered her head, clutching the hem of her clothes, and remained silent.

“Zhi’er, there are some things your mother never tells you, and your father doesn’t mention them to her, let alone dare to say a word. But your eighth uncle is different. Your eighth uncle dares to speak, probably because I’m just an outsider in some matters. Those pains are buried deep in their hearts, and your eighth uncle is just watching the show. But I really feel sorry for your mother. She’s the one I feel most sorry for in this world. Just looking at her makes me tired and in pain! She’s really had a hard time. It’s not that she doesn’t care about you and your brother, it’s just that there are too many people and things in this world that make her tired and worried.”

Zhi'er responded softly, "Zhi'er has figured it out."

Seeing them about to come out, I quickly hid by the door, watching Lu Xiu carry Zhi'er away. Only then did I return to the ancestral hall in a daze, looking at the memorial tablets that had been rearranged. The living cling to life, while the dead are gone forever. I wiped the two memorial tablets again and again. There were so many things I couldn't say when I was alive, but now I could only speak to these two wooden tablets and the few words engraved on them.

"I never imagined it was you who stayed with me down there all this time. (Regarding your scenery)..."

"That's exactly how you see it!" Lu Xiu grinned from behind. "I knew you'd be hiding here. What do you think? I'm pretty good at raising kids, aren't I? I think I'm better than Seventh Brother in this regard. He either spoils them or gives them the cold shoulder. Who wants to watch that?!"

I smiled and turned around, "Yes, it seems that it was the right thing for me to do by giving you the gap."

Lu Xiu knelt down with me and said, “The ancestral hall is a really nice place. If I become a memorial tablet in the future, you can come and keep me company and chat with me whenever you have time. I don’t mind your nagging.”

My laughter froze, and I said, "What if... I walk ahead of you?"

Lu Xiu chuckled, "Impossible! I won't allow it! If that day ever comes, I'll just find a way to get ahead of you!"

I shook my head. "You can joke about anything."

Lu Xiu clearly didn't want to dwell on this issue any longer, so he quickly changed the subject, "I heard you openly offered a price to buy my imperial brother?!"

"Hmm. You're interested in buying too? I'll give you an insider price."

"Stop!" Lu Xiu glared. "I was just asking! But when to buy you? I'll buy you without hesitation, even if it means going bankrupt."

I tossed a palm-leaf fan at him, saying, "Watch out, or I'll buy you tomorrow!"

Chapter Twenty-One: The Storm Begins

She slept until noon, just in time for breakfast and lunch to be eaten together. At the table, she asked only two or three people, but none of them gave a clear answer. However, Yin'er let slip: "Zhi'er was punished by the Emperor to kneel early this morning."

I was startled. Wasn't Lu Xiu punishing me yesterday? Why is Lu Li getting involved? Why does he have to do this now of all times?

Although he harbored resentment in his heart, he didn't say it aloud or show it on his face, and just ate in silence.

Seeing my state, Liu Shang quickly placed tea on the table. "Blame me! I told the Imperial Hospital about your relapse, but it was reported to the Emperor this morning. The Emperor is really persistent, asking about every single detail. Last night's incident at the ancestral hall came up, and he summoned Prince Duan. Prince Duan said a few good words, but the Emperor was still angry. Without a word, he ordered the young lady to be dragged out of the Southern Study and sent directly to the governess to kneel as punishment. You were still asleep and didn't know anything. We tried to stop him and persuade him, but there was nothing we could do. Now, even the ancestral hall has suffered; it was demolished without a sound this morning!"

I continued to eat in silence, and I had no idea what the food tasted like.

"Your Majesty, are you really not going to find a way to bring the young master out?"

I glanced back at Siliang. "It's a man's job to discipline the child, what right does a woman have to interfere! It's just kneeling, he won't get cold or hungry, this child should understand some manners by now." As I spoke, I swallowed the last bite of my food. "Has Jing been fed lunch yet?"

Everyone, young and old, was startled when I mentioned that name. It wasn't that they were overreacting; it was truly astonishing that I would even bring up the child myself. I pursed my lips, put down my chopsticks, and took the offered handkerchief to wipe my hands. "I was just asking, what's going on?"

Those eating continued to shovel their food into their bowls, while the servants hurriedly turned their heads to look elsewhere. I chuckled to myself, got up, and walked to the door. Just as I was about to go out for a stroll, I saw Lu Xiu striding over, practically dragging me along.

I leaned against the door, watching the two figures, one big and one small, with amusement. Lu Xiu tossed the little one in front of me and said, "You look great! I even brought the little one to visit you while you were sick!"

I squatted down and pinched her little face, "What good food did your father feed you? You've gotten so fat."

"He eats what I eat," Lu Xiu said casually. "We've arrived just in time for your lunch! We're starving." He then sat down at the table and ordered a bowl of rice.

"Are you visiting someone in the hospital or begging? And you've brought your whole family!" I sent Siliang off to get more rice. I added casually, "My daughter was punished by being made to kneel again."

"I tried to persuade him, but it was no use!" Lu Xiu hurriedly explained. He quickly swallowed a mouthful of hot tea, which burned his throat. Liu Shang, startled, rushed to hand him cold water. I thought to myself, "He's not young anymore, yet he still has such a rash temper."

"I've heard that the Empress Dowager is arranging for you to take a concubine. She says your household has few heirs." I glanced at him with a smile. "She said she wants to ask you first if you have any that you like!"

"Yes!" Lu Xiu said with utmost seriousness. "I think the daughter of the Vice Minister of Revenue is quite good. I've seen her. She has potential. The key thing is that she liked Xi'er very much when she met her. She's also gentle with Xi'er."

I wanted to dump the whole bowl of soup on his head. It's good, really! The daughter of the Vice Minister of Revenue is only eight years old. It's quite a good match for her! I really don't know if he's planning to take a concubine or just using this as a pretext to choose a wife.

"How come I didn't know you had pedophilia?" I said, clearly embarrassing him.

He wasn't angry; it was clearly a pipe dream. Even if he were willing, would the other person be? It seemed Lu Xiu would be finding a concubine quite some time from now. After finishing two bowls of rice, Lu Xiu was full and suddenly threw out a question, "Fourth Sister-in-law is sick, did you know?"

"Are you sick?" I felt a little guilty, but I was upset because of the family dinner.

"It's all because of your little troublemaker! Sangsang is truly a worry for Fourth Sister-in-law!"

"Just who exactly is Sang Sang?"

Just as Lu Xiu was about to speak, he noticed a whole table of little heads crowding around, so he quickly waved his sleeve and said, "Go, go, go out and play!"

I also had Siliang and Liushang take the little troublemakers away, and only when it was just the two of us left in the room did I ask again, "So, tell me!"

“Sangsang is indeed not Fourth Sister-in-law’s child.”

I quickly covered my mouth, "So Fourth Master has that kind of taste too, he likes to be out..."

Lu Xiu glared at me, and just as he was about to say something, he ran into my arms, "Mother, Mother."

I quickly pulled her back from her sobbing, "Sweetie, we can't cry. If you cry like that, how will you seduce your future wife?!"

Lu Xiu quickly pulled me out of his arms. He must think I'm the one poisoning his son. "Master Xi, tell me who bullied you! I'll go and kill them!"

Xi'er pointed outside the door, and Lu Xiu and I looked out at the same time. There stood a clueless maid, who looked just like her mistress—no good person. Lu Xiu rolled up his sleeves and was about to go up, but I quickly stopped him, saying, "Don't meddle in women's affairs."

I walked up to her and glared at the girl. "Your name is Qi Hui, right? What's wrong with you, a maid from the Imperial Concubine's Courtyard, coming to my Eastern Palace?"

Nanae wasn't intimidated by me at all. She tilted her head back and pointed through the gap, saying, "This blind little thing is peeping at our master while he's bathing!"

Lu Xiu's eyes lit up, but he fell silent after I glared at him fiercely.

"Tell me!" I pulled Xi'er aside; this was a matter of principle. I immediately squatted down in front of her. "What did you see?"

Lu Xiu also chimed in, "Son, don't be afraid, tell them! Father wants to know too!"

Xi'er paused, blinked, as if trying to recall something, stammered for a while, then burst into tears, sitting down on the ground, "I...I can't reach the window! The bugs are on the window, and if I don't let them catch me, they hit me~~~~~"