"I married you when I was twenty-two. So many people didn't think our marriage would last. Even I knew you didn't marry me because you loved me, but I was still so stubborn in wanting to marry you. Now, we've come to the point of divorce."
“You said I didn’t trust you, but that’s not true. On the night of the downpour, you told me we had time and could take it slow, and I believed you. So when Tao Yunjia stood in front of me triumphantly and told me she was going back to Germany with you, even though I was very unhappy, I chose not to ask. Now that I think about it… maybe I was just cowardly back then. I was afraid that if I asked you, you would admit it without batting an eye, and I was afraid I would lose everything.”
“I have always been anxious about continuing this marriage with you. I am grateful for any kindness you give me. I don’t believe in the concept of equality in love. I always feel that it doesn’t matter if I give a little more and you give a little less, as long as we are still together and have time, you will always feel it, and I am willing to do so. Every time I am unhappy or sad, hearing your voice makes me feel better. Compared to my husband, you are more like my guardian angel, no matter what. I always live under your protection.”
“That night when we were arguing in Berlin, I was desperate because I sadly realized that I had nowhere to go except your house. That’s why I ran back to Beijing. You’re right, I left my luggage at the door because I was preparing to move out. Later, when I saw how nervous you were when I was kidnapped, I started to convince myself that since you care about me so much, I shouldn’t hold it against you. But Chu Mu, you are really annoying.”
Shu Yi'an suddenly squatted down and hugged herself like a child, her voice full of grievance. "You always make me despair just when I'm full of hope, so this time, I don't plan to forgive you."
"Because I really can't convince myself to get back up like I used to."
"I'm leaving you. I need to try to make myself happier."
After all, how easy is it to recover from a serious injury?
Chu Mu forced himself to suppress the stinging sensation in his nose, picked up the coat beside him, slowly squatted down and draped it over Shu Yi'an's shoulders, gently wiping away her tears with his fingers.
"I'm sorry, it's all my fault."
Looking at the aggrieved and pitiful Shu Yi'an, he picked her up tightly and began to make the first decision in his life that he could not make himself, the most helpless, regretful and heartbreaking decision.
"I promise you, we'll get a divorce."
Because he didn't want her to be unhappy.
The author has something to say: There are many times like this when we are forced to make the most difficult decision. For Chu Mu, it was when he could honestly face the fact that he deeply loved Shu Yi'an, but she didn't want him anymore.
Do you understand? Miss Shu loves Chu Mu. It's just that her love is unhappy.
The breakup is imminent, so hold on! Hold on!
Chapter 54 To be continued tomorrow
Looking at Shu Yi'an, who was leaning against the windowsill in a daze, covered with a thick blanket, Chu Mu suddenly lowered his head and smiled faintly.
"All that you've said to me today is to try and convince me to agree to your request."
Shu Yi'an stared intently at the small figures of children playing in the neighboring yard, her eyes narrowing.
"More than anything, it was about convincing myself."
He knew her too well. Once Shu Yi'an made up her mind about something, she was always the one who gave up; she never backed down for any reason. That's why she said so many things to him, telling him that Shu Yi'an was determined to leave Chu Mu. Given that, how could he possibly persuade her to stay?
In fact, Chu Mu could have easily kept her by his side with a forceful approach. No matter how much she resisted, as long as he was ruthless enough to confine her, he could have done so. In fact, Chu Mu thought this way until the day before Shu Yi'an was discharged from the hospital. Especially when Sui Qing came out of the ward, his dark thoughts were finally resolved.
But even the usually calm and rational Chu Mu couldn't resist Shu Yi'an's tears, couldn't resist her pitiful words as she hugged him, "I'm not happy." All his resolve crumbled in that instant. He thought, he had to let go. It was necessary.
After returning from the hospital, Shu Yi'an sat there silently, as if she had just finished something very important; the deep sorrow in her eyes had vanished. Chu Mu glanced at the time on the wall, hurriedly put on his coat, and fled from the lakeside garden as if escaping.
"I'm going out for a bit. I'll be back tonight. Call me immediately if anything comes up."
He hadn't been to work for ten days and had no idea what was going on in the department; perhaps... things had already turned upside down... Chu Zhoutong had also called while Shu Yi'an was hospitalized to inform him of the outcome of Old Wang's matter and, incidentally, granted him leave. Chu Mu was a very organized person; since he had agreed to the divorce with Shu Yi'an, he had to handle all the follow-ups properly. At the very least, he couldn't let her suffer even the slightest bit more harm.
Shu Yi'an, who was resting quietly in the lakeside garden, immediately took out her phone and made a call when she heard Chu Mu close the door and leave. Julie's name was clearly visible on the screen.
It was already dark when Ji Hengdong left the law firm. He was leaning against his car, smoking idly. When he saw Chu Mu coming down the steps, he quickly stubbed out his cigarette and went to greet him. "So? All done?"
Chu Mu casually tossed the heavy file folder into his car, sighed, and leaned against the car door in a somewhat dejected manner.
"It's all over."
It's all over. I don't know if they're referring to the marriage or what just happened.
Ji Hengdong scratched his head, feeling a little embarrassed. He, who always considered himself to be eloquent, didn't know what to say to comfort this person who was like an older brother to him.
"Um... don't get too worked up... Yi'an is gentle by nature, she might be able to come back eventually."
Seeing Chu Mu still silent with his eyes downcast, Ji Hengdong became truly anxious. He banged on the car body, "No, Boss Chu, please don't do this, really, it scares me. It's not like..."
"Let's go." Chu Mu pinched the bridge of his nose, interrupting Ji Hengdong. "Take me home; I'm worried about her being home alone."
In the master bedroom on the second floor of the Lake Garden Villa, Shu Yi'an was sitting on the bed packing her things one by one. She remembered when she moved here, she only had a simple suitcase. At that time, she was probably the first non-local girl like herself to graduate without having to worry about the tedious things like renting a place and finding a job.
That year, I stood at the door of this villa with a suitcase covered in baggage tags. Chu Mu raised an eyebrow in skepticism, "Is this all the luggage you have?"
Shu Yi'an pursed her lips and remained silent, clearly feeling a little awkward standing in front of such a large building.
He lifted the suitcase with one hand and took her hand, which was clutching the hem of her clothes, with the other, his voice light and cheerful. "It's okay, we can buy another one later."
He actually did just that.
Shu Yi'an looked at her half of the walk-in closet, suddenly unsure what to take with her. It seemed like everything was bought for her by him, yet none of it truly belonged to her. Taking it all... too much... not taking it... she couldn't bear to part with it... Just as she was feeling lost, her fingers touched something hard and smooth. Peeling back the clothes, it was as if she had opened the heaviest valve in her heart, and those memories that had been deliberately buried rushed out.
This was a very vintage-style trunk, made of camphor wood, which made it look quite heavy. It was also secured with a lock. Shu Yi'an didn't dare to use too much force, so she bent down and went inside to open it. As the lid was slowly lifted, the contents inside were revealed.
A wedding dress, a ring box, a shirt with a small hole, a red woolen hat, two buttons... These were Shu Yi'an's most secret and sweetest memories, which she had secretly hidden in this place and almost forgot.
She carefully put away the wedding dress and ring after the wedding, but the shirt with the small hole was evidence of her first mistake. That morning, she accidentally left the iron on the shirt for too long, and it got wet. She heard a hissing sound, and when she picked it up, there was a charred black hole in the freshly opened shirt.
Her mind went blank for a moment, and she grabbed the shirt and walked out stiffly, saying in a panic, "Chu Mu, I've messed up... I ruined your shirt..."
When the person drying their hair turned around, they met her large, wet eyes. Seeing her somewhat evasive and ashamed gaze, Chu Mu suddenly smiled. He reached out and touched her adorable hair. "So what if it's broken?"
"Go get me a new one from the closet?"
Shu Yi'an originally thought that he would scold her, but she didn't expect him to react this way. For a long time afterward, Shu Yi'an felt warm inside whenever she thought about it.
And that red hat—it was from last winter's Lunar New Year when the courtyard was piled high with snow. Just after the midnight bells rang, Chu Mu led her back from the courtyard, their thick snow boots crunching under the snow. Shu Yi'an rarely saw snow in the south, and had only seen it a few times since coming to Beijing; this was the first time she'd seen such a heavy snowfall. She skipped and hopped through the snow, her cheeks red from the cold. Perhaps because of the New Year and the heavy snow, she was in an exceptionally good mood, and suddenly turned around to the person slowly following behind her and said…