Manzhen said in a low voice, "I don't want to sue them. I have absolutely no faith in the current laws. In court, it's always the one with the money who wins." Jin Fang said, "You're absolutely right. I was just furious. Haven't we small business owners suffered enough at the hands of the police? What don't I know? What's the point of dragging them to the police station? It's always the one with the money who's fierce! I won't sue them. At most, I'll make them pay some compensation for their losses."
Manzhen said, "I don't want their money." Hearing this, Jinfang seemed to show her even more respect and said, "Then hurry up and go out. My Linsheng is coming tomorrow, so I'll have him go with you. You can pretend he's here to pick me up. If you can't walk, have him help you." Manzhen hesitated for a moment and said, "That's good, but what if someone notices? Won't that implicate you?" Jinfang laughed and said, "If they come looking for me, that's fine. I can just give them a couple of slaps." Hearing this, Manzhen was speechless, her heart overflowing with gratitude. Jinfang added, "But you've only been pregnant for a few days; don't walk around like this and hurt yourself." Manzhen said, "I think it's alright."
There's no time to worry about that now.
The two discussed it carefully again. Their voices were so soft that they couldn't be heard once their heads hit the pillow, so they always had to keep their heads suspended in the air, which was very tiring. They talked on and off, and by then, it was already dawn.
The next afternoon, when family visits were permitted, Manzhen anxiously awaited Jinfang's husband's arrival. However, instead of him, Manlu and Hongcai arrived. This was Hongcai's first visit to the hospital; he had never shown his face before. He carried a bouquet of flowers and looked quite uneasy. Manlu carried a food basket; she brought him chicken soup every day. Manzhen closed her eyes as soon as she saw them.
Manlu called out softly with a smile, "Second Sister." Manzhen didn't answer. Hongcai stood there feeling very uncomfortable, so he looked around and frowned, saying to Manzhen, "This room is really terrible, how can we stay here?" Manlu said, "Yes, it's infuriating, all the better wards are full. I told them that as soon as a first or second-class room becomes available, we'll move there immediately." Hongcai was holding a bouquet of flowers and had nowhere to put them, so he said, "Tell the nurse to bring a vase." Manlu smiled and said, "Tell her to bring the baby over for you to see. You haven't seen him yet." She then busied herself looking for the nurse.
After a brief commotion, they brought the child over. Hongcai, having had a child late in life, was overwhelmed with affection and didn't know how to properly care for him. The couple played with the child, who cried loudly, and Manlu made various strange noises to soothe him. Manzhen kept her eyes closed, ignoring them. Then they heard Hongcai ask Manlu, "Was the wet nurse who came yesterday alright?" Manlu replied, "No, she was tested today and they said she has trachoma." The couple continued their charade, and Manzhen suddenly opened her eyes impatiently, saying weakly, "I want to sleep for a while. You should go back." Manlu paused for a moment, then softly said to Hongcai, "Second Sister finds it too noisy. You should go first." Hongcai turned to leave dejectedly, but Manlu caught up with him, stopped him, and whispered, "Where are you going?" Hongcai mumbled something, and it was unclear how he answered her, but she seemed still uneasy yet helpless, only saying, "Then call a car to come back and pick me up when you get there."
Hongcai left, and Manlu remained silent, simply holding the child and sitting by Manzhen's bedside, gently rocking and patting the baby. After a long while, she said, "He wanted to come see you for a long time, but he was afraid of upsetting you. A couple of days ago, when he saw you like that and heard the doctor say it was dangerous, he was so worried that he couldn't eat."
Manzhen remained silent. Manlu pulled a bright red carnation from the bouquet and waved it in front of the child, whose head followed its movement. Manlu smiled and said, "Oh, so you already know you like red!" At the pillow, Manlu glanced at Manzhen's face and, seeing no disgust, whispered, "Second sister, are you going to hate someone for life just because they did something wrong while drunk?" She then placed the child beside her and said, "Second sister, for the sake of the child, please forgive him."
Manzhen was already feeling a pang of sadness because she was about to leave her child, and now, after their last meeting, she was about to see him again like this. She didn't look at the child, but silently embraced him, rubbing her cheek against his head. Manlu, unaware of her feelings, watched from the side, feeling a surge of joy, thinking that Manzhen had finally changed her mind, but was just too proud to say it. At this crucial moment, she knew she had to be extra careful with her words, lest she offend Manzhen again.
Therefore, Manlu also fell silent.
Jin Fang's husband, Cai Linsheng, had been there for quite some time. Through a white cloth screen, their soft whispers could be heard; Jin Fang must have already told him the whole story of Manzhen. They listened intently to their conversation, sometimes falling silent, sometimes starting again. Jin Fang asked him how many eggs he had dyed red, and who he had asked to look after the egg stall after he came here. They didn't originally have so much to say; Linsheng should have left long ago, but he had to wait because he was taking Manzhen with him. Sitting there silently seemed strange, so he could only manage to utter fragmented words. Perhaps the couple had never talked so long before, and found it very tiring. Linsheng said that his sister had been helping at the egg stall these past few days; she was also heavily pregnant. Jin Fang then told him how bad the caregivers were there.
Manlu sat there refusing to leave, even though the visiting hours were almost over. Some family members had brought snacks and treats for the new mother, leaving chestnut shells scattered all over the floor. After the family members left, a hospital worker came with a broom and started sweeping, timidly sweeping as he gradually moved over to this side, clearly indicating a desire to get rid of the guests. Manzhen was extremely anxious.
Seeing the chestnut shells, she remembered that roasted chestnuts were in season, but it was already late autumn, and she had been imprisoned in the Zhu family for almost a year without even realizing it. She suddenly muttered to herself, "Chestnut flour cakes should be available by now, right?" She suddenly felt interested in food, which reassured Manlu, who quickly smiled and said, "Do you want some? If you do, I'll go buy some for you." Manzhen said, "Maybe it won't be long enough?" Manlu glanced at her watch and said, "Then I'll go." Manzhen, however, became indifferent again and said lazily, "It's not necessary to make a special trip." Manlu said, "It's rare for you to want to eat something, why don't you eat something? You're recovering slowly because you haven't been eating enough." With that, she put on her coat, handed the child to the caregiver, and hurried away.
Manzhen estimated that Jin Fang had already gone far away and was about to tap on the screen when Linsheng suddenly appeared, carrying a roll of clothes. It was Jin Fang's plaid cheongsam, a woolen scarf, and a pair of blue cloth slippers. He handed them to Manzhen with both hands, then left without a word. Manzhen noticed that both of his hands were bright red, presumably dyed with erythropoietin. She couldn't help but smile, yet felt a pang of melancholy, for she and Jin Fang had both given birth, but her own situation was so tragic.
She hurriedly put Jin Fang's clothes on top, then wrapped the scarf around her head and face, hiding most of her face inside. Fortunately, new mothers are always afraid of the wind, so it didn't look out of place. Dressed neatly, she was already drenched in sweat, her legs feeling unsteady as if walking on cotton. She slipped behind the screen, supporting herself on the wall, and Lin Sheng helped her along. She only caught a fleeting glance at Jin Fang, who had a long face, a sallow complexion, but very pretty features. Lin Sheng was also quite handsome. He helped Manzhen out; the nurse on duty had taken Manzhen's baby to the nursery and hadn't returned yet, so they entered as if no one was there. Once down this floor, of course, no one recognized them. Outside the gate, several rickshaws were parked. Manzhen immediately got into one, and Lin Sheng told the driver to lower the canopy, explaining that she was afraid of the wind, and then put a tarpaulin over the front. The rickshaw drove off, covering a long distance and crossing a bridge. It was already dark, with only scattered lights visible. Lin Sheng lived in a slum in Hongkou District; his family consisted of him, his wife, and their several children, living in a small attic room.
As soon as Linsheng arrived home and settled Manzhen in, he hurriedly went out again to deliver a letter to her house. At the same time, she asked him to make a phone call to the Xu family to inquire whether a Mr. Shen Shijun was in Shanghai. If he was, she asked him to say that someone surnamed Gu was looking for him and to ask him to come over.
Linsheng was gone. Manzhen lay on their bed, a large one, with a one-year-old child sleeping in the inner bed. The peeling plaster walls were covered with various posters instead of decorative paper: photos of socialites, pictures of floods and droughts, comic strips, and wedding photos—some in vibrant colors, some in black and white, some in brown, as bright as a patchwork costume on a stage. Next to the bed was a small long table, upon which all the daily necessities were laid out: a thermos, an oil bottle, a mirror, cups, plates, and bowls, so crowded that there was barely room to move. A light bulb hung from the ceiling, illuminating the lively little room. Coming here felt like a dream; a child was lying beside her, but it wasn't her own anymore.
The Cai family had four children, the eldest being a six or seven-year-old girl. Before leaving, Linsheng gave her some money, telling her to buy some fried pancakes for dinner. The old woman in the kitchen saw Manzhen and asked him who the new female guest was. He said she was his woman's younger sister, but this seemed strange, making one suspect that he had brought his girlfriend home while his woman was giving birth in the hospital.
The little girl bought some fried pancakes and shared them with her younger siblings. She then handed a large piece to Manzhen and placed it on the edge of the table. Manzhen asked her to hand her a mirror from the table. She looked at herself in the mirror and hardly recognized herself. Her cheekbones were high, her face was bloodless, even her lips were white, and her eyes were large but lifeless.
She stared at herself in the mirror for a long time, trying to comb her hair with her hands, but the more she tried, the more tangled it became. She was very anxious, thinking that if Shijun was in Shanghai, he might be coming soon.
Actually, Shijun happened to be in Shanghai these past two days, but he was staying at his uncle's house. He was there to prepare for his wedding, asking Shuhui to be his best man, and also to buy many other things. He went to Shuhui's dormitory in Yangshupu, not to Shuhui's house, so the Xu family didn't know he was there. When Linsheng called to ask, Mrs. Xu told him that Mr. Shen wasn't in Shanghai.
Following the address Manzhen had given him, Linsheng went to her house, only to find it had been taken over by another family. A sign still hung at the door; it had become a dance school. Linsheng asked the alleyway keeper, who said the Gu family had moved away long ago, at the end of last year. Linsheng returned and told Manzhen, who wasn't particularly surprised. This was undoubtedly Manlu's desperate measure. It was clear her mother was completely under her sister's control; finding her mother now would be useless, or even worse, cause more trouble. But what could she do? She was not only alone but also penniless. Linsheng offered her a place to stay, while he himself went to stay at his sister's house that night. Manzhen felt extremely guilty. She didn't realize that the poor often help each other in times of trouble; they live a precarious existence, so they are particularly compassionate towards those in distress, and their compassion isn't constrained by the concerns of the wealthy. She only gradually realized this after she arrived. At the time, she was just secretly glad that she had happened to meet Linsheng and Jinfang, a particularly loyal couple.
That night, she borrowed a pencil and a piece of paper from the eldest girl in their group, intending to write a simple letter to Shijun, urging him to come quickly. Seeing him so close, she felt a growing sense of uncertainty, a growing unease about him. She remembered the conservative side of his personality. Even if he completely forgave her, could he still love her as before? If he loved her unconditionally, they wouldn't have argued during their last meeting; the argument stemmed from his excessive compromise with his family. His marriage, if his family couldn't approve in the first place, was now even more out of the question—if they knew she had a child outside the marriage.
Pen in hand, she felt lost. She wrote a very short letter, explaining that she had been ill since their separation and hoped he would come to Shanghai as soon as possible. She gave him her current address, and that was all; she signed it simply with the character "Zhen." She was also thinking that although Shijun had previously said his letters were unopened, she was worried that someone else might see them.
She sent it by express mail, and when it arrived in Nanjing, Shijun was still in Shanghai and hadn't returned. Although his mother was illiterate, she knew that Manzhen used to write to him frequently. For a time, when Shijun lived in his father's small mansion, his mother would personally deliver his letters. She could tell it was a woman's handwriting, and when she later saw Manzhen, she guessed it was her; there was no one else. Now, after more than half a year without a letter, this one arrived suddenly. Mrs. Shen was very uneasy. She thought that Shijun was getting married soon, and she didn't want him to change his mind because of this letter. After a moment's hesitation, she opened the letter and asked the eldest daughter-in-law to read it to her. The eldest daughter-in-law read it once and said, "Judging from her expression, it seems this woman has already broken up with him, and now she's pretending to be sick to get him to go see her." Mrs. Shen nodded silently. The two discussed it for a while and both said, "We mustn't let him see this letter." They immediately struck a match and burned it.
Ever since Manzhen sent the letter, she had been counting down the days. Although they had had some past disagreements, she was certain he would come immediately upon receiving the letter. She calculated he would arrive in three or four days, but more than a week passed. She waited from morning till night, but not only did he not come, he didn't even send a reply. She wondered if he had heard about her ordeal elsewhere and therefore refused to see her anymore. He really was so heartless; it had been a waste of her time to know him. She lay in bed, her eyes closed, but tears streamed down her face, soaking her cold pillow. Sometimes she would turn over and use the pillow again, and sometimes the other side would still be wet with tears.
She thought and thought, unless he hadn't received the letter at all and it had been intercepted by his family. If that were the case, then writing another letter would be useless; it would still be intercepted. She could only patiently recover and go to Nanjing to find him herself once she was better. But she was penniless, which was really worrying. Staying at the Cai family's house, not only was she eating their food for free, but she was also occupying their only room, preventing Linsheng from going home. She felt truly uneasy. She remembered that she still had half a month's salary from her office that she hadn't collected. Taking that could help in an emergency, she wrote a note and asked Linsheng to deliver it. The factory sent someone to come back with him and hand over the money to her in person.
She heard the man say that they had already hired another typist.
With the money, she rented an empty attic room on the third floor and moved upstairs. Lin Sheng bought her two planks of bed and two pieces of necessary furniture, and he continued to provide her with tea and meals. Manzhen gave him the remaining money as food expenses, but he refused to accept it, saying she could pay them back slowly when she found a job. By this time, Jin Fang had also returned from the hospital and was recuperating at home. Manzhen insisted that she accept the money, so Jin Fang took it upon herself to have Lin Sheng cut a few feet of thread, add lining, and take it to the tailor shop at the alley entrance to make a lined robe for Manzhen; otherwise, she wouldn't have any clothes at all. Jin Fang still returned the extra money to her, telling her to keep it for spending money, and Manzhen couldn't refuse, so she had no choice but to accept it.
When Jin Fang was discharged from the hospital, she told her that Man Lu had bought chestnut flour cakes that day and found that Man Zhen had disappeared. She didn't pursue the matter much, but simply took the child back that same day. Man Zhen guessed that they must be feeling guilty, so they didn't dare to make a fuss, as long as they could keep the child safe.
Manzhen was naturally healthy, and being young, she recovered quickly, soon regaining her health. She immediately went to find Shuhui, hoping he could help her find a job, and also thinking that, by chance, she might see Shijun if he was in Shanghai. She chose a Saturday evening to go to the Xu family home, as Shuhui was more likely to be home then. Entering through the back door, she encountered Shuhui's mother in the kitchen. Manzhen greeted her, and Mrs. Xu smiled, "Oh, Miss Gu, it's been a long time!" Manzhen smiled, "Is Shuhui home?" Mrs. Xu smiled, "Yes, yes. What a coincidence, he just returned from Nanjing." Manzhen said "Oh," thinking that Shuhui had gone to Nanjing again, always at Shijun's invitation. She went up to the third floor, and the people in the room, having heard her shoes, sent out a young woman she didn't recognize, looking at her with an inquiring expression. Manzhen suspected she had gone to the wrong house, so she smiled and asked, "Is Mr. Xu Shuhui home?" At her question, Shuhui came out and smiled, "Oh, it's you! Please come in, please come in. This is my sister." Manzhen then remembered that she was the girl Shijun had tutored her in arithmetic. The girl smiled and nodded at her, but Manzhen felt a pang of confusion.
Once seated in the room, Shu Hui smiled and said, "I was just looking for you, and here you are." He paused, not continuing, as his sister brought in a cup of tea. Manzhen, seeing his expression, felt a little suspicious, thinking that perhaps he had heard about her falling out with Shi Jun and wanted to mediate. Maybe Shi Jun had asked him to. She took the tea, drank a sip, and then struck up a conversation with Shu Hui's sister. His sister, probably at a shy age, stood smiling beside her for a while before leaving again. Seeing her leave, Shu Hui closed the door. Leaning against it, he chuckled softly, "I have something to tell you. I don't tell other friends, but it's alright to tell you—I'm planning to go to the liberated area." Manzhen was startled, and after a long pause, she whispered, "Is it easy to leave now?" Shu Hui replied, "I think there's always a way." Manzhen looked at him and smiled, "You're so capable!" Shu Hui laughed, "Don't praise me yet. Maybe I'll still run back because I can't endure the hardship." Manzhen remembered the times they used to spend every day together, his quirky temper, and how much he loved to look good. She couldn't help but smile. But she said, "I believe you won't."
She then asked if his parents knew he was going. Shu Hui replied, "I plan to keep it from my mother for now. I told my father to tell her after I leave. I'll tell her now that I'm going to the north to do work. Actually, that's the truth. I'll be doing the same thing there, but the work will be more meaningful." Manzhen nodded but sighed and said, "I really envy you." Shu Hui then said, "If that's the case, then she can leave her past behind forever and not have to worry about his family issues—this isn't escapism; she has a clear conscience. She's just afraid of putting him in a difficult position." She just kept thinking blankly. Seeing that she didn't speak, Shu Hui knew that everyone had their own difficulties. She always had a heavy family burden and probably couldn't leave, so he didn't say anything more.
Manzhen found it strange that he didn't mention Shijun. Otherwise, she would have asked long ago. For some reason, the more afraid she felt, the less she dared to ask. She picked up her teacup to drink, and while casually looking around, she smiled and said, "Why has this house changed?" Shuhui smiled and said, "My sister lives here now."
Manzhen laughed, "No wonder! I was wondering why it was so neat and tidy—it used to be such a mess because of you two!" The "you two" she referred to were, of course, Shijun and Shuhui. She thought that after saying this, Shuhui would bring up Shijun, but he didn't. Manzhen then asked when he was leaving, and Shuhui replied, "I'm leaving early the day after tomorrow." Manzhen laughed, "It's a pity I couldn't come to see you sooner; I was hoping you could help me find something." Shuhui said, "What? Didn't you have something to do? Aren't you there?" Manzhen said, "I fell seriously ill, and they couldn't wait, so they hired someone else." Shuhui said, "No wonder! I was wondering why you'd lost weight!" He asked what illness she had, and she casually said it was typhoid fever.
After talking for a while, Shuhui still hadn't mentioned Shijun. Manzhen finally asked with a smile, "You recently went to Nanjing?" Shuhui laughed, "Oh, how did you know?"
Manzhen smiled and said, "I just heard it from my aunt." At this point, Shuhui still didn't mention Shijun. He struck a match, lit a cigarette, tossed the match out the window, and stood there facing the window, taking a deep drag of smoke. Manzhen couldn't resist any longer, so she went over and stood beside him, leaning on the windowsill, and asked with a smile, "Did you see Shijun in Nanjing?" Shuhui smiled and said, "He's the one who came to see me. He got married, just the day before yesterday." Manzhen's hands were on the windowsill, and she felt it undulating. She couldn't understand how the solid wood could become like waves, so shaky and unstable.
Seeing that she seemed stunned, Shu Hui smiled again, "I thought you must know." Manzhen smiled, "I didn't know." Her lips suddenly became very dry, and when she smiled like that, her upper lip stuck to her teeth and wouldn't come off. Fortunately, Shu Hui avoided looking at her and only looked out the window, saying, "He married Miss Shi. You've seen her, haven't you?" Manzhen said, "Oh, the Miss Shi we saw when we went to Nanjing last time?" Shu Hui said, "Yes." He seemed unwilling to talk about this matter. Manzhen naturally thought it was because he knew about her relationship with Shijun, but she didn't know that he himself was also full of depression because of Cuizhi.
Manzhen sat for a while longer, then said, "You're leaving the day after tomorrow, you must be very busy these next few days, right? I won't bother you any longer." She stood up to say goodbye, but Shuhui insisted that she stay for dinner and wanted to go out to eat with her. Manzhen smiled and said, "I won't give you a farewell dinner, and you don't need to treat me either, let's call it a day." Shuhui said he wanted to exchange contact information with her, but he didn't have a fixed address there, and she was currently staying at a friend's house, so she had to give up on that idea.
As she walked out of Shu Hui's house, she felt as if the world had changed. She couldn't believe that after being locked up in the Zhu family for almost a year, the outside world had become completely different. Had Shi Jun already married someone else in less than a year?
She walked under the streetlights, and after walking quite a distance, she remembered she should have taken the tram. But she had taken the wrong tram; it didn't cross the bridge and stopped at the Bund, so she had to get off and walk. It must have rained a little earlier; the ground was damp. Gradually, she reached the bridgehead. The steel bridge was brightly lit by electric lights, its huge black shadows, long, dark bars, stretched across the grayish-yellow water. Many small boats were moored below, their long shadows also falling on their canopies and decks. There wasn't a single ray of light on the water. How deep was the water? The flat surface was like grayish-yellow cement; if she jumped in, she didn't know if she would fall to her death or drown.
Trucks rumbled across the bridge, shaking the ground and sending shivers down her spine. She stood with her back to the bridge, staring blankly at the water. No matter how badly others treated her, not even her own sister or mother had hurt her as much as Shijun had. She had heard news of him at Shuhui's house earlier; she was like someone under anesthesia during surgery, dazed and confused, not feeling much pain. Now, as she gradually awoke, the pain was beginning to set in.
The small boats under the bridge were pitch black, without any lights; the people on board must have been asleep. It was probably very late. Jin Fang insisted that she go back for dinner because the food was especially good today, and their baby was turning one month old. Manzhen thought of her own child again, wondering if he was still alive…
I don't know how I got through that night. But since I'm alive, I just kept living day by day. Not long after, she found a job teaching at a school. The pay wasn't good, but she liked that it provided a place to live. She moved out of Jin Fang's place and into the teachers' dormitory. She had previously taught for the Yang family, and the two children there were very close to her. This job was arranged for her by the Yang family. The Yang family only knew that she had lost her job due to illness, and that everyone in her family had returned to their hometown, leaving her alone in Shanghai.
Now she lives at the school and rarely leaves the premises; she also rarely visits the Yang family.
One day, two or three years later, she went to the Yang family's house. Mrs. Yang told her that her mother had come the day before and asked if they knew where she was now.
Mrs. Yang probably found it strange that her mother didn't know, so she told her mother her address. When Manzhen heard this, she knew that trouble was brewing.
Over the past two years, she hadn't stopped thinking about her mother, but she really didn't want to see her. That day, after leaving the Yang family's house, she simply didn't want to go back to her dormitory. Then she thought, this was inevitable; her mother would find her way there sooner or later. When she returned that day, sure enough, her mother was already waiting for her in the reception room.
Mrs. Gu burst into tears upon seeing her, and Manzhen only faintly called out, "Mom." Mrs. Gu said, "You've lost weight." Manzhen didn't say anything, nor did she ask where they lived or how their family was doing, because she knew that her sister must be supporting them there. Mrs. Gu had no choice but to tell her everything automatically, saying, "Your grandmother's health has been quite good these past two years, much better than before. My younger brother will graduate this summer. You probably don't know, but we now live in Suzhou—" Manzhen said, "I only know that you moved from Jiqingfang. I guess it was my sister's idea; she arranged it very well." As she spoke, she couldn't help but let out a cold laugh. Mrs. Gu sighed, "If I told you, you wouldn't like to hear it. Actually, your sister didn't mean any harm; it's just that Hongcai is bad. Now that you've had a child, why do you have to come out here alone to suffer?"