Dieciocho primaveras

18th spring

He had known Manzhen for many years. Eighteen years had passed—a startling realization that made him feel much older. Time flies—especially for those past middle age, where ten or eight years seem like a fleeting moment. But for young people, three or five years can feel like a lifetime. From their first meeting to their breakup, it had only been a few years, yet so much had happened in those years, as if he had experienced all the joys and sorrows of life, from birth to old age, sickness, and death.

Manzhen once asked him when he had started to like her. He naturally answered, "The first time I saw you." He said that in such a dazed state that he could believe anything, and of course, he absolutely believed it wasn't a lie. In truth, he couldn't remember exactly when he first saw her.

It was Shuhui who met her first. Shuhui was his best friend; they both studied engineering. Shuhui graduated first and started working, and after he graduated, Shuhui introduced him to the same factory for an internship. Manzhen also worked in that factory; her desk was right next to Shuhui's. Shijun went to look for Shuhui several times; he should have seen her, but he didn't remember her. Perhaps it was because he had only recently left school and was still a little reserved around women, feeling it inappropriate to look at them too much.

He worked as an intern engineer in the factory, spending all his time in the machine room alongside the workers. Just as he became proficient, he was transferred to another department. Life was tough, but the experience he gained was invaluable. His salary was extremely low, but fortunately, his family didn't depend on him for support. His home wasn't in Shanghai; he lived with his uncle, Shuhui.

This was his first time spending the Lunar New Year away from home. He hadn't had much of a fondness for the New Year in the past, because every year something unpleasant would happen at home. His family would be waiting for his father to return to pay respects to the ancestors and have the reunion dinner, but the small mansion would deliberately delay him. His mother, who usually didn't mind these things, made an exception on New Year's Eve. She said, "A family should act like a family," and that the head of the household, for the sake of the ancestors, should return home on time to take charge of everything.

In fact, they also have ancestral worship ceremonies there, because his father's concubine has been with him for many years, bearing him sons and daughters, and their family is even more prosperous than here. His father resides there most of the year. He rarely comes home, and his mother treats him with great courtesy. Only during festivals like the New Year, perhaps because of this, she inevitably feels a sense of her past, and she often can't help but argue with him. Even at her age, she still cries and sobs. This is the same every year, something Shijun has witnessed since childhood. This year is better; they're not spending the New Year at home, which saves them a lot of trouble.

But for some reason, when the year was drawing to a close, many families ate their New Year's Eve dinner early, and the scattered sounds of firecrackers could be heard everywhere, a nameless sorrow would weigh on his heart.

On New Year's Eve, Shijun had dinner at Shuhui's house and then invited Shuhui to go to the movies. They watched two movies—there was also a movie at midnight that night. Watching such a movie at midnight on New Year's Eve seemed to have a special flavor, a touch of melancholy amidst the liveliness.

Their factory only gave them three days off, and the small restaurant they usually ate at for lunch wouldn't open until after the fifth day of the Lunar New Year. On the fourth day, they went to eat together, only to find it empty. They had to walk back, the streets littered with red paper scraps from firecrackers. Passing a restaurant that was open, Shu Hui said, "Let's eat here." This place probably wouldn't officially open until after the God of Wealth was welcomed; today it was only half-open, with a half-open door, and the inside was dark. There wasn't much business during the New Year. At the first table near the entrance, a young girl sat facing outwards, wearing an old, light gray sheepskin coat. In front of her was only a cup and chopsticks; the food hadn't been served yet. She seemed bored while waiting, wearing red woolen gloves, slowly wiping her fingers down to her palms, alternating between two fingers. Upon seeing her, Shu Hui exclaimed, "Miss Gu, you're here too!" He then prepared to sit at her desk, but turning back to see Shi Jun seemingly hesitant, he said, "We're colleagues, you've met before, haven't you? This is Shen Shi Jun, this is Gu Manzhen." She had a round face, oval with a square shape—not exactly square, just well-defined. Her hair was loose and casually draped over her shoulders. Shi Jun's judgment of a woman's appearance, figure, and clothing was usually unanalytical; he simply thought she was very nice. She put her hands in her coat pockets and smiled, nodding at him. He and Shu Hui pulled out a long bench and sat down. The vermilion-lacquered bench was covered in a layer of black grease. Shi Jun, having gotten himself filthy in the machine room, didn't care, but Shu Hui, impeccably dressed in a suit, couldn't help but glance at the bench a few more times before sitting down.

Just then, the waiter came over, two teacups tucked between his fingers, and placed them on the table. Shu Hui saw this and frowned repeatedly, saying, "This place won't do, it's too dirty!" The waiter poured them two cups of tea, and they each ordered a meal. Shu Hui suddenly remembered something and said, "Hey, bring me two pieces of paper to wipe the chopsticks!"

The waiter had already gone far away and hadn't heard. Manzhen then said, "Just rinse them in the teacup; I doubt you'll actually drink this tea." Saying this, she took the chopsticks in front of him, rinsed them in the teacup, shook them to dry them, and then placed them on the teacup. She then took Shijun's chopsticks as well. Shijun quickly bowed and smiled, saying, "I can do it myself, I can do it myself!" He didn't look at anyone, just smiled. Shijun took the chopsticks and placed them back on the table. After putting them down, a thought suddenly occurred to him: the table was so greasy; putting them down like this meant the chopsticks had been washed for nothing. He seemed so nonchalant, while the fact that she washed his chopsticks made him seem like she was being nosy, making her feel overly attentive. Thinking this, he quickly picked up the chopsticks again and, imitating her, placed them neatly on the teacup, carefully aligning the tips. Actually, if the chopsticks were dirty, they were already dirty; wasn't this just a cover-up? He inexplicably felt a little embarrassed, so he casually rinsed the spoon in the teacup as well. Just then, the waiter was serving dishes, including a bowl of clam soup. Shijun scooped a spoonful and drank it, then laughed, "Eating clams during the New Year is probably a good omen—it's like a gold ingot." Shuhui said, "Clams are gold ingots, taro are gold ingots, dumplings and egg dumplings are gold ingots, even green plums and tea eggs are gold ingots—I say we Chinese are really greedy; everything looks like a gold ingot to us." Manzhen laughed, "Northerners call it a 'money string.' They're really obsessed with money!" Shijun laughed, "Miss Gu, are you from the North?" Manzhen smiled and shook her head, saying, "My mother is from the North." Shijun said, "Then you're half a Northerner." Shuhui said, "That little restaurant we often go to is actually a Northern restaurant, it's just across the street. Have you been there? It's quite nice." Manzhen said, "I haven't been." Shuhui said, "Let's go together tomorrow."

This place is terrible. It's too dirty!

From that day on, the three of them always ate together; when they ate together, there were three dishes and a soup, making the meals less monotonous. They became so familiar with each other that they would sometimes eat roasted sweet potatoes on the street for a meal. However, despite their familiarity, their conversations were limited to Shuhui and Manzhen discussing matters in the office.

Shu Hui's relationship with her seemed to be limited to office hours. Outside the office, Shu Hui neither sought her out nor even mentioned her name often. Once, when he was discussing personnel disputes at the factory with Shi Jun, Shi Jun said, "You're lucky; at least the two people in your room get along." Shu Hui simply hummed indifferently and said, "Manzhen is a good person. Very straightforward." Shi Jun didn't elaborate, otherwise it would seem as if he had developed an interest in Manzhen and would later make a playful remark to Shu Hui.

On another occasion, during a casual conversation, Shuhui suddenly mentioned, "Manzhen was talking about you to me today." Shijun was taken aback for a moment before laughing and asking, "What did she say about me?"

Shu Hui laughed and said, "She said that when I'm with you, I'm always the only one who gets to talk. I told her that people say I bully you, and even my own mother stands up for you. Actually, it's just a matter of personality; you just happen to be the kind of person who plays the supporting role in comedies." Shi Jun laughed and said, "How is being a supporting role?" Shu Hui said, "Not so much, except that people often tap him on the head with the bone of a fan."

At this point, he chuckled to himself. He continued, "I know you really don't mind. That's one of your strengths. I'm the same way; people can make fun of me all they want. I'm not the kind of person who only allows others to make fun of me, but not others to make fun of him..." Once Shuhui started talking about himself, he couldn't stop. Perhaps a smart and handsome person is bound to have a bit of "narcissism." He just kept going on and on about the complexities of his own personality, while Shijun sat to the side, still thinking about how Manzhen had described him.

Their factory was located in the suburbs. Although there were a few dilapidated streets nearby, the fields were just a short walk away. Spring had arrived, and the countryside was already covered in a light green, but the weather was still just as cold. That day, Shijun finished work at noon, and as usual, quickly washed his hands before going to the general office to find Shuhui. Shuhui happened to be out of the room; only Manzhen was sitting at her desk organizing documents. Even indoors, she was wearing a small red and blue checkered scarf over a dark blue cloth robe, making her look like a primary school girl. The blue cloth robe had been washed until the velvet had turned grayish-white, but the color had a gentle and elegant feel, like the dark blue cover of a thread-bound book.

Shi Jun smiled and asked, "Where's Shu Hui?" Man Zhen tilted her head slightly toward the manager's office and whispered, "He always likes to call you in five minutes before the end of the workday, saying he has some important business to give you. I guess all bosses are like that." Shi Jun nodded with a smile. He leaned against Shu Hui's desk, idly flipping through the calendar hanging on the wall, and said, "Let me see when the Beginning of Spring is." Man Zhen said, "The Beginning of Spring has already passed." Shi Jun said, "Then why is it still so cold?" He continued to flip through the calendar pages one by one, saying, "The calendars printed now are more economical; only Sunday is red. I prefer the calendars we had when we were kids; Sunday was red, and Saturday was green. When I tore off a page and saw the bright green words on Saturday, I felt really happy." Man Zhen smiled and said, "That's right. When we were in school, Saturday was even happier than Sunday. Even though Sunday was red, it already had a touch of 'endless sunset' to it."

Just then, Shuhui came in and immediately called out to Manzhen, "Didn't I tell you to leave first?" Manzhen smiled and asked, "What are you busy with?" Shuhui replied, "After we eat, we're going to find a nice spot to take some photos. I borrowed a camera here." Manzhen said, "In this cold weather, the photos won't look good with red noses and red eyes." Shuhui gestured towards Shijun and said, "Look, it's all for him. His

……