Yu Tang is also a human being; he also has moments of fear.
All he can do is face it.
Then he hoped that Chu Jiangli could face it together with him.
Even if Chu Jiangli couldn't understand it, he wouldn't blame him.
After all, this was a mistake he himself had made in the past.
After saying this, Yu Tang turned around and walked out step by step.
But before he could take a few steps, a rumbling sound came from the stone gate behind him, followed by Chu Jiangli's hoarse voice.
He shouted at him with all his might.
"You did nothing wrong!"
"Tangtang, you did nothing wrong, you did nothing wrong!"
Yu Tang hurriedly turned his head and saw Chu Jiangli kneeling on the ground, dressed in tattered red clothes, his hair disheveled, and bloodstains still wet on his lips. His face was deathly pale, but his lips were bright red. He was shouting at him like a madman, "I won't allow you to say that about yourself! You, you're not wrong, it's always been me who's wrong... I'm a coward, I'm afraid of losing you, so I don't even dare to see you... I was wrong... Tangtang, I know I was wrong..."
He lay on the ground crying, his fingers bleeding as he rubbed them against the stone.
Yet he continued to exert himself as if he felt no pain.
"Come back, I'll be with you... I'll be with you, please, please forgive me..."
"Come back..."
Seeing Chu Jiangli like this, Yu Tang couldn't help but let her tears fall again.
This time, however, it was no longer helplessness and sadness, but rather a sense of relief and joy.
He quickly took a few steps, helped Chu Jiangli up, and embraced the wounded young man tightly.
"Yes, I'm back."
"Ah Li, thank you for coming out to see me."
"Let's walk together in our final moments..."
Chu Jiangli clung tightly to Yu Tang's clothes as if he had grasped a lifeline.
He dared not hug the other person tightly. His voice was hoarse, he cried like a child, his whole body was trembling, and he kept nodding.
"Mmm, mmm... I'll stay with you, I'll always stay with you..."
Later, the two supported each other as they returned to their bedchamber.
When Chu Jiangli stood before Yu Tang, he seemed to have lost the ability to move, as sluggish as an ordinary blind man.
Yu Tang had the kitchen prepare some easily digestible congee and side dishes for Chu Jiangli to eat.
But Yu Tang found that Chu Jiangli couldn't even hold the porridge steadily, and his fingers trembled so much that he spilled it several times. So Yu Tang stopped him and fed him little by little.
Afterwards, he took Chu Jiang to the bathroom, helped him take off his clothes, let him into the pool, and gently washed his hair.
Chu Jiangli huddled beside him, tears streaming down her face with red eyes.
"Look at you, what have you done to yourself?" Yu Tang felt a pang of sadness, but still tried to keep her voice normal, teasing Chu Jiangli while pinching a strand of hair: "Smell this, if you don't take a bath soon, you'll stink. I don't like smelly A-Li."
As Chu Jiangli heard his voice, he groped his way to hug Yu Tang, and when he touched the man's clearly defined ribs, he flinched violently.
Her head seemed to have lost its support, burying itself in Yu Tang's neck, sobbing.
"Tangtang, Tangtang, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."
The repeated, bitter sounds, born of extreme restraint, pierced Yu Tang's heart like a knife.
Yu Tang gently patted Chu Jiangli's back, wanting to say something, but ultimately fell silent and couldn't utter a word.
Because he understood that any comfort would seem extremely pale and powerless at this moment.
Chu Jiangli couldn't even imagine the extent of his mental anguish he was enduring.
After taking a shower, Yu Tang felt that he was running out of energy.
The two lay on the bed in the bedroom. Xiao Han brought over medicine, some for Yu Tang and some for Chu Jiangli.
Next to the medicine bowl was a dish of candied fruit, which was filled to the brim as Yu Tang had instructed.
This time, however, Chu Jiangli finished the medicine in one gulp without even touching the dish of candied fruit.
"Don't you find it bitter?" Yu Tang took a piece of candied fruit and held it to Chu Jiangli's lips: "Have a piece to relieve the bitterness."
Chu Jiangli then opened his mouth and bit into the candied fruit. But his movements were extremely slow, as if he were in a daze.
After finishing this piece, she didn't ask for another. Instead, she held Yu Tang's hand, placed it against her chest, curled up in bed, and stopped moving.
Xiao Han was initially delighted that Chu Jiangli had emerged from the ancient tomb, but upon seeing Chu Jiangli's appearance, he realized something was amiss. He tried to ask something, but Yu Tang shook his head and told him to leave.
After the door closed, Yu Tang reached out and tidied Chu Jiang's disheveled hair, then softly called to him, "A-Li, do you remember I once said I could help you cure your eyes?"
Chapter 42
The world ends when the villain dies for the sixth time (42).
His words touched Chu Jiangli, and he gripped Chu Jiangli's hand a little tighter.
"Yes, I remember."
"I hope you will listen quietly to what I am about to say and not get angry."
Now that things have come to this, Yu Tang no longer wants to deceive anyone; he wants to tell Chu Jiangli everything he plans to do.
Chu Jiangli did not reply, but his heart tightened even more.
"Tangtang, what do you want to say?"
“I…” Yu Tang took a breath and said, “I want to give you my eyes so that you can see this world clearly.”
Then find the person who killed your mother, and live on properly in my place.
Chu Jiangli's eyes widened suddenly, but they were completely empty.
He suddenly remembered what Yu Tang had once said.
What they wanted was to become his eyes and help him find his enemies...
So that's what men were thinking back then?
Did Yu Tang plan everything from that time onwards, intending to leave him?
During this time, Yu Tang had no idea how much he was feeling depressed and miserable...
I've been kept in the dark all along...
His breathing became uncontrollably rapid: "No, no, I won't let you do this, you can't do this..."
I don't want your eyes!
Having just experienced a breakdown, Chu Jiangli was extremely emotionally unstable. He stood up, knelt before Yu Tang, and pleaded, "I can't take your eyes, Tangtang..."
"I can't have it..."
"Ah Li!" Yu Tang pressed his shoulder and said, "Do you believe in an afterlife?"
He made Chu Jiangli look up at him and wiped away the tears that had seeped out: "In this life, I cannot accompany you for a lifetime, but we will have a next life."
"I will wait for you in the next life, until you have resolved everything in this life and come back to find me."
"So, promise me you'll use my eyes to find the person who killed your mother, and then live on with my share of the hatred, okay?"
He cupped the young man's tear-streaked face, kissed Chu Jiangli's chapped lips, and said, "In the next life, if you can't find me, I will come looking for you."
"I won't keep you waiting too long. I will definitely find you, get to know you, fall in love with you, and stay by your side, okay?"
Tears soaked their skin and fell onto the bedding.
Chu Jiangli's rapid breathing eased slightly, but tears still flowed uncontrollably.
He hugged Yu Tang's waist, almost burying his entire body in Yu Tang's body, his back hunched, crying out helplessly like a trapped beast.
He understood everything Yu Tang said.
The man was destined to die, and he understood that.
He understood better than anyone else the man intended to give him his eyes.
But even so, knowing that both paths lead to certain doom, being forced to face and accept them is the hardest thing for him.
Too many fears gathered together, and he was in this darkness. He could grasp nothing, hold onto nothing.
An endless despair enveloped him, making it almost impossible for him to breathe.
Looking at Chu Jiangli like this, Yu Tang couldn't think of any way to comfort him.
Because he knew that it was he who had transformed the once carefree Chu Jiangli into the person he was today.
All he could do was silently stay by his side and make the most of each remaining day...
In the end, Chu Jiangli agreed to Yu Tang's request and forced himself to gradually return to normal.
He no longer refused Nan Yun and Bai Xiao's help, but instead focused on circulating his internal energy to sort out his chaotic internal forces.
And they tried to grope their way forward, attempting to readjust to the darkness.
Yu Tang told him to eat and sleep well, and he obediently did so.
His body, which was on the verge of going berserk, was gradually restored, but his face was still haggard.
Or rather, after learning that Yu Tang had taken the poison for him, he never smiled again.
Moreover, even if I lie next to Yu Tang, hold his hand tightly, and try to fall asleep, I will still be startled awake in the middle of the night by the sound of Yu Tang coughing.
That was the sound he once used as a lullaby on Wulian Mountain.
Now it seems to have become a death knell, the culprit that pushed him into the abyss.
On the day Yu Qi learned the truth, he almost killed Chu Jiangli with a single sword stroke.
Later, after regaining his senses and witnessing Chu Jiangli and Yu Tang's interactions, and seeing Chu Jiangli's suffering, he couldn't bear it and stopped saying anything extreme about demanding that Chu Jiangli pay with his life. Instead, he became silent and taciturn.
When I saw Yu Tang, he seemed dazed and dull, his eyes were red and swollen, and he could barely speak.
Yu Tang comforted him, saying that he was not going to live much longer anyway, and that dying to save his beloved was all worthwhile.