This move was something she had never anticipated.
You Ran thought she could stand naturally in front of Qu Yun, put her hands in her pockets, and calmly ask, "What is it? Didn't we break up? What are you doing here? Aren't you annoying?"
But just catching a glimpse of his figure from afar, You Ran's tears began to fall uncontrollably.
She quickly fled and ran home.
Looking in the mirror, I noticed that my eyeliner had turned black and looked smudged.
You Ran took out her eyeliner and tried to draw it again, but it was no use because tears kept flowing out, and her entire eyelids were wet, making it impossible to draw.
Her repeated attempts to depict the scene yielded no results, just like her repeated efforts towards Qu Yun, which ultimately proved to be futile.
You Ran could no longer hold back. She threw down her pen, buried her face in front of the mirror, and burst into tears.
She cried hard, letting out all her grievances, all her hurt, all her resentment, and all her despair.
While crying, she thought about everything that had happened between her and Qu Yun.
Everything could bring a tear to her eye.
The phone rang again. You Ran answered it and sobbed as she said, "Will you come tomorrow? I can only see you tomorrow..."
After saying that, she hung up the phone without waiting for his reply.
Qu Yun didn't call again. He sent a text message with only three words: "I'm sorry."
Who has been fair to whom? Who has wronged whom? You Ran can no longer tell. At this moment, all she wants to do is cry, and all she can do is cry.
She stayed in her room all day, crying until her nasal cavity was completely blocked and she couldn't even breathe.
Only then did You Ran realize that the wound in her heart had not healed; it would bleed again at the slightest touch.
You Ran wept for a long time, until she could no longer hold on and fell into a deep sleep.
In a hazy state, it seemed as if a handkerchief was gently wiping my cheek.
The feeling was warm and comfortable. She murmured softly to herself, then turned over and went back to sleep.
He slept until the third watch of the night.
The next day, around midnight, I opened my eyes and found it difficult—my eyes were swollen and sore from crying for so long.
"Awake?" A pair of gentle hands stroked You Ran's forehead. "Are you hungry?"
You Ran remembers that when she was sick as a child, her mother would always sleep with her. When she woke up, the question her mother would ask softly was this one.
Time seemed to fly back to that time, a time when I was completely clueless.
"Mom?" You Ran thought of her swollen, tearful eyes and quickly turned over to cover them, saying, "It's okay, I want to sleep more."
“There’s a man standing downstairs. He seems to be waiting for you,” Bai Ling said softly. “Would you like to go down and talk to him?”
Bai Ling knew many things, but You Ran didn't want to tell her, and she wouldn't force her.
With her back to her mother, You Ran paused for a long time before finally asking, "Mom, why is it that my relationships never work out?"
“Because,” Bai Ling gently patted You Ran’s back, “if you succeed now, where will you put your true love when it comes later?”
"But what if the love that's truly meant for me never comes?" You Ran asked.
"Then love yourself, love your parents, and let your parents love you." Bai Ling's hands seemed to have a kind of magic, each pat on You Ran's back adding strength to her.
You Ran suddenly turned over and hugged Bai Ling's waist: "Mom, that person downstairs hurt me, what should I do?"
"I remember teaching you that a long time ago." Bai Ling took a comb and carefully combed her daughter's tangled hair, which hadn't been styled for days. "When I was little, when I was bullied, I told you a few things. Have you forgotten?"
"No." You Ran buried her head in her mother's waist, inhaling the fragrance that was as delicate as orchids.
"First, think about it carefully, is it all his fault?"
You Ran shook her head inwardly.
No, Qu Yun never forced herself, never.
She was the one taking the initiative, actively asking to date him, actively asking him to love her, and actively doing all sorts of silly things.
Both she and she were at fault.
Second, did he apologize?
You Ran nodded inwardly.
Yes, Qu Yun apologized; he chased after us to apologize.
"Third, if you're really angry, I'll go boil a pot of hot pot right now and pour it directly on his head, okay?"
"No good," You Ran stopped her.
"What, you can't bear to part with it?" Bai Ling asked.
"No, there's no need to go to so much trouble." After saying that, You Ran jumped out of bed and began to wash up.
This time, she didn't dress up much; she just wore a tracksuit and went downstairs.
With her hair tied in a ponytail and wearing canvas shoes, You Ran would look quite energetic if it weren't for her swollen, apricot-shaped eyes.
Seeing Qu Yun from afar, You Ran stopped crying and simply walked over calmly.
“I accept your apology,” You Ran said. “Don’t worry, nothing will happen to me, and you don’t need to feel guilty. Consider this a lesson for me.”
You Ran thought that from now on, she would no longer dare to be so reckless and unrestrained, always acting on impulse. She learned to hold back and grow up.
Qu Yun's face had thinned out, making him look even more handsome. There was a band-aid on his forehead, her handiwork.
He stared intently at You Ran, her black eyelashes delicate and beautiful, her face as thin as a cicada's wing, half-covering her deep and clear eyes, in which her image was reflected: "You Ran, forgive me."
"Didn't I just say that?" You Ran put her hands in her pockets and said, "I accept your apology."
“You should understand what I mean by forgiveness,” Qu Yun said.
"I understand, but I can't do it." You Ran shrugged. Even with her collar turned up, she was still cold in the wind, so she shrank her neck.
Qu Yun saw it, and just like in the past, he naturally took off his scarf, intending to wrap it around You Ran's neck.
But You then stepped back, and Qu Yun's hand, holding the scarf, hung in mid-air, unable to extend or retract.
“These intimate gestures are no longer suitable for us.” You Ran pursed her lips, her mouth naturally curved upwards, as if she were always smiling: “Because we’ve broken up, it’s over between us.”
Qu Yun slowly returned his hand to its original position. He looked at You Ran, whose stray hairs occasionally fluttered, as if they were about to fall into her eyes and pierce her moist eyes: "But I did not agree."
You Ran suddenly laughed, a genuine laugh. She turned her head and glanced at the green trees in the distance of the residential area. Then, she turned back and said calmly, "Qu Yun, don't you understand? Why do you always win? It's not because you're so great, but because... I willingly let you win. I like you, I love you, so I'm willing to let you win, willing to let you control me, willing to put myself in a vulnerable position."
“But now,” You Ran stretched out her index finger, rubbed the bridge of her nose, and continued, “Now, I no longer love you. Your only bargaining chip has expired. Don’t try to control me anymore, never try again.”
Qu Yun shook his head slowly, his face a beautiful sight from every angle: "I will only remember that you swore that you loved me and would never leave me."
“That was a vow I made when I thought you were worthy of my love, but now,” You Ran backed away slowly from him, “you are no longer worthy.”
You Ran slowly retreated step by step. She wanted to leave Qu Yun. She couldn't turn around and leave. She had to remember every step she took to leave him. She had to remember that every step was the right one.
In the leisurely view, Qu Yun slowly shrank, like ink diluted in water, gradually fading away.
Just when she thought her second relationship was about to end like this, Qu Yun suddenly strode forward and grabbed her.
His movements were exceptionally swift, giving You Ran no time to react at all.
He held You Ran tightly, grasped the back of her head, and forcefully kissed her.
This kiss was like a raging storm, a torrential downpour, a blazing fire—utterly devoid of tenderness, it was nothing but possession, imprisonment, and worry.
She quickly came to her senses and tried to dodge, but Qu Yun's attack was too fierce, and she couldn't avoid his lips at all.
Later, when she thought back on it, she felt that the kiss was not pleasant at all; it was like... an octopus's suckers sucking on her lips.
Although You Ran couldn't move her mouth, she could still move her hands with difficulty. So, she quickly grabbed Qu Yun's belt and untied it.
In broad daylight, under the clear sky, in a harmonious society, it is unacceptable to take off one's pants.
In order to prevent the pants from falling down, Qu Yun could only use the belt to free the hands that were restraining You Ran and quickly re-fasten it.
And just like that, she escaped his clutches with ease.
"Don't kiss me anymore. I'll find a man worthy of my kiss." You Ran reached out and wiped the moisture from her lips.
Qu Yunyi grasped You Ran's wrist and said in a low and slow voice, "I have hidden many things from you, but there is one thing I have never lied to you about: I have fallen in love with you."
"So what?" You Ran questioned, "Should I kowtow in gratitude for the Emperor's grace, should I be overjoyed?! Just because you say 'I love you,' do I have to forgive everything you've done?"
“That’s not what I meant.” Qu Yunwei lowered her eyes.
“Qu Yun, I don’t know how to tell you,” You Ran took a deep breath, calming herself down a bit. “All along, I’ve believed that as long as you love me, no, even just as long as you like me, I can give up everything. That’s because I assumed you didn’t have any other women around you. I naively thought that there were only the two of us in the world, and that as long as I tried, I could achieve anything. But I was wrong. How could you not have any? And it’s a woman I can never compare to…”
"Is it because of Tang Yongzi? She and I have nothing to do with each other anymore," Qu Yun explained.
"It's not just because of her." You Ran looked down at her canvas shoes. "It's not just because of her."
"Why is that?" Qu Yun held her hand tightly, as if he were grasping something that would disappear if he let go even slightly.
"I don't know how to say it." After saying this, You Ran paused for a long time, as if sorting through her chaotic thoughts. Finally, she spoke again: "Actually, Qu Yun, before I met you, I had never pursued anyone so actively, never. I don't know why, but after being with you, I suddenly became full of energy. I thought that as long as I worked hard, I could succeed, but I didn't expect that love would be an exception. Just like Tang Yongzi said, if I weren't Gu Chengyuan's sister, you would never have agreed to be with me. To you, I would be nothing more than a stranger. Now, looking back, I regret it so much. When I was doing some foolish things unilaterally, did you sneer or feel disgusted? I will never dare to do it again. Just thinking about these things makes me afraid to live so recklessly, as if there is no tomorrow. Qu Yun, you said you love me, even if it's true, I... I can no longer believe it."
It's okay to fail in love, but what's most frightening is having your self-esteem hurt.
You Ran also knew that, according to worldly standards, she was indeed not good enough for a handsome guy like Qu Yun.
But You Ran didn't care, because she thought that Qu Yun didn't think that way, otherwise, why would he agree to be her boyfriend?
Whatever happens, as long as Qu Yun thinks the two of them are a good match, then You Ran doesn't care about anything else.
But in fact, the one who thinks the two are mismatched the most is Qu Yun.
If it weren't for the need to avenge Gu Chengyuan, he wouldn't have paid any attention to me at all.
You Ran once romantically thought that during their first encounter, those exchanges were perhaps because Qu Yun already had some feelings for her, which was why she deliberately provoked her.
Looking back now, You Ran thinks she was just being delusional.
Qu Yun is no longer the little boy he was in elementary and middle school who bullied you because he liked you. He is a mature man who will take the initiative to approach his target, just like he did when he pursued Tang Yongzi back then.
It turns out that everything was a misunderstanding, and the resolution of these misunderstandings was enough to destroy all of You Ran's self-esteem.
That's the scariest part.
“So Qu Yun,” You Ran raised her head and took a deep breath, “let’s give this relationship a clean break. Let’s just cut it off. In today’s society, you can have an online romance with Somali pirates while you’re at home. No one is indispensable. If you’re a man, let go.”
But Qu Yun ignored this provocation. He held You Ran's wrist tightly the whole time: "You Ran, forgive me, give me a chance."
"What am I going to do by giving you a chance? To compensate you for taking my first time?" You Ran smiled silently: "Qu Yun, don't be like that. Neither of us are easy to deal with. The first time always has to be given away. Whether it's to you or to him, it's all the same."