So this was her final decision, but she had always been unwilling to admit it.
Missing a flight is nothing; if you catch up, you can catch up even if you go to the ends of the earth.
However, You Ran thought that she was not qualified; she could no longer lie to Xiao Xin, and she could no longer deceive herself.
She doesn't love Shin-chan, and she can't love him the way he demands. All she can do is defend herself and let him go.
From now on, the past will never return, and the joy with Shin-chan will only be a memory.
But this is the only solution.
There are many things that, even if the result is excruciating pain, still need to be done.
The blood on Qu Yun's shoulder wound had already congealed. He released her and was able to sit up straight.
But Qu Yun still held You Ran's hand tightly, without letting go.
This time, You Ran did not resist. She simply said quietly, "Qu Yun, you have always been right. I shouldn't have kept drinking with Xiao Xin. I shouldn't have dragged him into our relationship. I shouldn't have agreed to be with him."
As noon approached, the sunlight became even brighter, and the air conditioning inside the car was very strong, making the heat of the outside world seem like a fabrication in a magazine.
Qu Yun said slowly, "The worst thing I could have done was to let you leave."
"Yes, so many things shouldn't have happened. We are all sinners; none of us are innocent," You Ran murmured.
“But regardless of right or wrong, crime or punishment, I only know one thing…” Qu Yun’s gaze was as calm as clear water yet as scorching as the sun: “You Ran, I will not let go of you.”
She met his gaze calmly for a long time, then suddenly tugged at the corner of her mouth: "Before, when I read other people's stories, I always blamed those women for not being able to let go, always thinking that when it came to myself, I would behave differently. I always thought I was the most decisive person, loving when I could love and letting go when I didn't. But I forgot... that feelings are inherently a messy, sordid, and unbearable thing. No matter how carefree you say you are, your heart is still bound by the same entanglements. Now, I can no longer see my own heart clearly."
Qu Yun opened his mouth: "You Ran, give me a chance..."
You Ran interrupted, "No, Qu Yun, this time, it's you who needs to give me time."
“I’m stupid, it takes me a lot of time to think about this problem.” You Ran turned her head and looked out the car window, but Qu Yun’s image was still there on the window glass, blurry but real: “Xiao Xin said that I still have feelings for you, but I can’t believe it. If I do, why have we tormented each other for so long? I need time to think about it properly, really properly.”
"Qu Yun, you will promise me," You Ran said. "You must promise me."
Qu Yun stretched out her finger and touched You Ran's nose; it felt cool.
“I promise you,” he said.
And so, I leisurely returned to my home, that comfortable haven.
Many times, You Ran wanted to call Xiao Xin, but in the end, she always gave up.
She had no right to go to him anymore.
In the end, it was Shin-chan who took the initiative to send a text message.
"You Ran, I hope we can both find what we want in the end."
This was the last time they would be in contact. You Ran understood that, just like Xiao Xin had said before, from now on, they would have no further connection.
Neither of us are carefree people, nor do we do things as casually as breaking up and remaining friends.
You Ran will never know what Xiao Xin was waiting for at the airport, and she will never know.
It was her fault, and she was willing to accept the punishment.
However, for the other party, no matter what, it would be of no use.
Whenever she encounters setbacks, her passive coping method is to sleep all day.
In the sweltering summer, lying in an air-conditioned room, one can sleep soundly, immune to all poisons, enjoying abundant harvests and longevity like the Eight Immortals crossing the sea.
As she slept, someone gently stroked her forehead with their fingers.
You Ran opened her eyes a crack and saw that it was her mother sitting sideways on the edge of the bed.
He closed his eyes again and murmured in a deep sleep, "Mom, my back itches."
As soon as she finished speaking, a pair of delicate hands stroked her back and scratched her itch.
Feeling very comfortable, I drifted off to sleep, answering my mother's questions about culture as I moved closer to my dreamland.
How have you been lately?
"good."
"Did you do well on the exam?"
"It's alright."
How's your preparation for the postgraduate entrance exam going?
So-so.
After a pause, Bai Ling suddenly said, "You Ran, I'm sorry."
These words immediately woke You Ran from her drowsiness: "Mom, what are you saying?"
"I was completely oblivious to the harm Chengyuan caused you. I was so careless," Bai Ling said in a low voice.
"It's all in the past, Mom. Don't think about it anymore. I'm fine now." You Ran sat up.
"I am not a good mother, either to you or to Chengyuan." Bai Ling's tone was filled with deep self-reproach.
"Mom, you've done enough. Parents can't protect their children from all dangers," You Ran comforted her.
“Actually, it’s understandable that Chengyuan hates me.” Bai Ling’s lips were tinged with a bluish tinge. “I do owe him a lot.”
"Mom, don't think like that."
“After I married your father, Gu Zhi beat him even more severely. Once, he escaped from his home covered in wounds, crying and clinging to my leg, begging me to take him in.” Bai Ling’s voice was somewhat hoarse. “Then, Gu Zhi came and insisted on dragging him back. At that time, I was pregnant with you and dared not exert any force, so I let go of Cheng Yuan’s hand. I watched with my own eyes as Gu Zhi took him away… When we went back that time, Cheng Yuan’s ribs and lower leg were broken.”
“I will never forget the look in Chengyuan’s eyes when I visited him in the hospital. It was like… something had been completely extinguished, an endless disappointment. Yes, the person I thought was the only one in the world who could protect him let go of my hand without hesitation at the last moment.”
“I’ve always said that I treat him like my own son, but in the dead of night, I ask myself, if you were the one being taken away, I would definitely, absolutely, stand in front of you without hesitation, instead of letting go of those helpless, trembling little hands that were tightly holding mine.”
"But Mom, you originally..."
You Ran didn't continue, but Bai Ling understood her meaning: "You weren't his mother to begin with, were you? But Cheng Yuan has been with me since the day he was born. He always thought I was his biological mother, always relied on me, protected me, and treated me as the closest person in the world. I also swore countless times in front of him that I would never leave him. But in the end, I still gave him up..."
You Ran had nothing to say; all she could do was hug her mother's shoulders.
“He had a terrible time. He was often beaten and covered in bruises. I can’t imagine how that small body could withstand those punches and kicks.”
"He suffered a lot of trauma. Once, because he didn't get first place in the exam, Gu Zhi actually held his head underwater for a whole minute. Cheng Yuan used to love swimming, but ever since then, he would scream in terror whenever he touched water..."
“Just like he said, bringing him to our house once a month is not compensation, it's torture. Seeing that happiness and peace that doesn't belong to him, his heart must be in a gnawing pain, but I didn't notice at all.”
“He hates me, so he chose to retaliate by hurting you. But I have no right to blame him, nor do I have the right to comfort you.”
You Ran's palm absorbed all the trembling from Bai Ling's shoulders.
"Mom, don't think about it anymore. I've already paid him back what I owed him. From now on, let's just pretend he never existed in our lives," You Ran said.
Bai Ling sighed softly, her long, drawn-out tone carrying complex emotions.
She looked up at the branches and leaves outside the window, and after a long while, she finally mustered her strength and said, "I'll go make you some lotus seed soup."
You Ran remembered what Gu Chengyuan had said; she knew he would not let go.
Just as I had predicted, he came looking for me.
A week later, You Ran went to the bookstore to buy reference books. On her way home, she saw a familiar car and Gu Chengyuan standing next to it.
His features remained handsome, his posture upright, and his demeanor dignified.
He always habitually tilted his head slightly, the skin of his neck like cold, smooth jade.
At that time, You Ran was wearing a long Bohemian-style dress that seemed to trail on the ground, and flip-flops on her feet that made a pattering sound as she walked. She was carrying a large stack of reference books, and a few strands of hair were stuck to her forehead with a thin layer of sweat.
Upon seeing him, she stopped leisurely.
Because she knew that running away wouldn't do much good.
"You're back." Cheng Yuan began with this.
"Is there something you need?" You Ran asked. The sun was scorching, making her frown and look impatient.
“There has always been something between us,” Gu Chengyuan said slowly and meaningfully.
"It's very hot, please don't take up my time." The book was too heavy, and You Ran felt her arms were sore.
"How are things between you and Qu Yun?" Gu Chengyuan asked.
"Don't ask about things that don't concern you," You Ran said rather bluntly.
"Shouldn't you have settled things with that kid Long Xiang by now?" Gu Chengyuan said calmly.
Upon hearing this, You Ran showed no surprise. She was not surprised that Gu Chengyuan had been secretly investigating her.
"Come back when you've had enough fun," Gu Chengyuan said.
You Ran raised her shoulders and wiped the sweat from her forehead with her rounded shoulder: "Gu Chengyuan, I'm not your dog that you let out for a walk. Please don't talk to me like that."
Gu Chengyuan walked up to her and stopped. He was very tall and blocked all the blinding sunlight for You Ran: "My words have never changed—I can give up my hatred and let your family go, as long as you are willing to stay by my side."
As soon as she finished speaking, You Ran felt a sudden burst of sunlight pour down, the world swayed, and in just a moment, she was leaning against the car door, the book in her hand scattering to the ground with a "clatter".
His back was pressed tightly against the car door, the metal sheet scorching from a day's sun.
Gu Chengyuan pressed on You Ran's shoulder, his voice low and slow, each word tinged with cool calmness as it slid across You Ran's skin: "We are not related by blood. We are together, and no one has the right to stop us."
“You’re right,” You Ran said. “We’re not related by blood, which means that I thought the only connection between us was gone. From the moment I learned this truth, Gu Chengyuan, you and I have been complete strangers.”
"Don't force me to hurt you." Gu Chengyuan suddenly increased the pressure on his hands, and You Ran's back pressed even closer to the car door, his skin feeling as if it were on fire.
"Gu Chengyuan, you will be alone for the rest of your life. No one will love you, and no one will accompany you." Perhaps it was the blinding sunlight, or perhaps it was the scorching heat behind her, that made You Ran utter such a curse.
At that moment, Gu Chengyuan's eyes turned into deep, bottomless black holes, where nothing could be thrown in, and the silence was unsettling.
Then he released her.
She picked up the books from the ground, didn't look at him again, and ran away.
After returning home, recalling Gu Chengyuan's threatening words, You Ran was still quite uneasy, fearing that he might do something to her parents.
But after several days, nothing unusual happened, and You Ran gradually felt relieved.
However, accidents always happen unexpectedly. On this day, her parents went to a class reunion together. She took out her homework and was preparing to study hard all day. However, a phone call from the police station made her heart sink to the bottom.
My parents recently bought a family car on installment, but shortly after they drove it today, they were deliberately rear-ended, and both of them sustained injuries of varying degrees.
You Ran didn't even have time to change out of her pajamas before rushing downstairs to the hospital.
After getting off the elevator, I saw someone walking towards me on the cobblestone path in the community.