After a long while, Shen Zhifei finally looked away from her dazed gaze, leaned against the railing of the dormitory rooftop, and said, "You should go to sleep. I'm going back now."
"Wait, wait a minute," Song Lang called out to him, and after a moment of hesitation, asked, "Are you alright?"
The question came out of nowhere, but it was the only question he could think of at that moment.
In the days leading up to the start of the semester, his evasive behavior was enough for the perceptive Shen Zhifei to sense something. The mutual distancing should have been an unspoken understanding, but he still couldn't help but ask.
He was afraid that Shen Zhifei would be hurt, and even more afraid that Shen Zhifei would remain indifferent.
It was a very contradictory feeling. Song Lang couldn't tell whether he was afraid that Shen Zhifei had him in her heart, or he was even more afraid that Shen Zhifei had never taken him seriously.
What kind of answer do you want me to give?
Instead of answering, Shen Zhifei asked a question, a light and seemingly emotionless remark that seemed to contain a lot of complexity that Song Lang didn't understand.
Song Lang was speechless. Hearing a sigh from the other end of the phone, the hand that had been gently gripping his heart suddenly tightened.
Then he heard Shen Zhifei say, "Song Lang, sometimes I think, if you weren't my brother, everything would be so much easier."
The meaning of these words is obvious.
"Feifei—" Song Lang called out to him, but didn't know what to say next.
Reason warned him that it was best to remain silent.
Sleep well, goodnight.
Shen Zhifei didn't wait any longer and hung up the phone. He stood on the rooftop for a long time in the cold wind before returning to his dormitory.
He caught a cold the next day and held on until Friday when he went home for the holiday. He sat on the sofa for a long time and was almost asleep when Song Lang finally came back.
The two looked at each other, and Song Lang was clearly taken aback. It was almost 11 o'clock. He thought that Shen Zhifei, who always had a regular schedule, should have gone back to her room to sleep long ago, which was why she had dawdled until now to come back.
"Brother." Shen Zhifei's voice was obviously hoarse, and his eyes were bloodshot, making him look haggard and tired.
Song Lang was extremely worried. "What's wrong with you? Are you sick?"
"It's alright." Shen Zhifei stood up, placed a tube of anti-swelling ointment on the cabinet next to Song Lang, and looked at his face, saying, "Apply some of this; it works well to reduce swelling."
Song Lang subconsciously touched his cheek. Actually, after a week, it wasn't very noticeable anymore. "How...how did you know?"
"I heard it from someone," Shen Zhifei said casually, walking towards her room. "Remember to apply some. Goodnight."
"Oh, okay, goodnight—"
Before Song Lang could finish speaking, the door had already closed.
He slumped weakly onto the sofa, staring blankly at the tube of ointment. It was so hard; trying to pretend nothing had happened and stay by Fei Fei's side was just too difficult.
From the moment their eyes met, all he could think about was how to kiss him.
Song Lang remained motionless for a long time before stiffly pulling out his phone to send a WeChat message to classmate F. Aside from the occasional sarcastic remark from F that annoyed him a bit, their conversations had been quite congenial, and they had many common topics.
[Song Lang] Hey, what are you doing? It's so quiet today.
[Song Lang] Are you there? Let's duo queue.
【F】I can't today, I'm sick.
[Song Lang] You're sick too? ???
[F] also?
[Song Lang] Oh, he's sick too.
When the two of them talked, "he" was Shen Zhifei's exclusive title.
F enjoys talking to Song Lang about "him," claiming it's to understand everything about "him" and strive to become that kind of person so that Song Lang will abandon his evil ways and come to the light.
Song Lang didn't think much of it. As they chatted, he started to treat F as a confessional, as if picking out some of his worries and telling them would relieve half of his pressure.
[Song Lang] Ugh, this is so damn awkward right now, I don't even dare to ask a question.
[Song Lang] Do you think I'm being too cowardly? Asking him if he's okay is pretty normal, right?
【F】Yes, that's normal.
[Song Lang] ...Forget it, just looking at him now makes my legs go weak.
[F] You like him that much? Why not take it a step further?
[Song Lang] ? ?
[F]?
[Song Lang] No, I'm a little confused. Dude, when you texted me earlier, did you really like me or were you just playing me?
[Song Lang] Why are you in such a hurry to push me away?
【F】So it turns out my baby was hesitating for me.
[Song Lang] Get lost!
[Song Lang] I can't go any further, and I can't explain it to you.
【F】Oh, I understand.
[Song Lang] ? ? What do you know?