Chapitre 8

Yaping's temper flared, and he said threateningly, "First, don't equate yourself with a prostitute and make me feel dirty sleeping next to you; second, she's my mother. She raised me without spending a single penny and sent me to university. It's only right that I be filial to her since she's staying here; third, you're my wife, so you're practically her daughter. You have to listen to whatever she says. When you become a mother-in-law, you'll see what it's like to be mistreated by your daughter-in-law! Fourth, I don't know when my mother will leave, and I don't plan to ask her. She can stay wherever she wants. If you don't like it, fine, but if you dare to upset my mother, I'll make you regret it!"

"Li Yaping! Then I'll answer you too. First, I will absolutely not carry on your family line. Your parents have already terrified me, so I have no problem with being angered by my wife. Second, if I really have a child, my goal will definitely be for the child's happiness. As long as the child is doing well, I will be happy, and I will never make things up or cause trouble for no reason! Third, if you push me too far, I'll throw your mother out right now, and I'll see how you treat me!"

Although Lijuan was furious, she hadn't lost her mind. Her voice was so low it was almost a whisper, but her tone revealed her determination to fight to the death. Lijuan stood barefoot on the floor, ready to pull the handle and rush out at any moment.

In the ensuing stalemate, Yaping was the first to surrender, like a deflated balloon. He pushed his hands above his head, lowered his head, and shook his head sadly, trying to stop Lijuan, saying, "Fine, fine, you're ruthless, I surrender. I'm begging you, okay? Juan, please, for the sake of our love, please, for the sake of how hard it is for us to build this family, give my mother a smile, okay? I'm begging you." Yaping knelt on the bed, burying his head deeply in the blankets.

The silhouette projected onto the wall—tall and robust Yaping, curled up like a cat, swayed precariously like a leaf trembling in the cold wind. The forced surrender had utterly defeated him; two women, as imposing as mountains, had left him with no way out. He loved both women, yet loving them was so difficult.

Lijuan was only responsive to gentle persuasion; her initial determination to fight her way out suddenly vanished. She walked back to the bedside, knelt down, and stroked Yaping's head, saying, "Yaping, don't be like this. I'll try my best, okay? I'll try not to confront your mother directly. I've really been holding back for so long." Lijuan began to cry.

Lijuan wasn't a woman who cried easily. She called many melodramatic soap operas, where others would be wiping their noses with tissues, "emotional trash." She could sit on the sofa, cracking sunflower seeds, completely unmoved, like watching the news. Yaping rarely saw Lijuan so heartbroken. At first, Lijuan's sobs were held back, her shoulders trembling, tears streaming down her face like a babbling brook, soaking Yaping's pants. As Yaping silently comforted her, massaging her shoulders, she finally broke down in a torrent of tears and snot, her grievances and resentment mingling with her own, soaking Yaping. It broke Yaping's heart to see her like this.

Lijuan kept her promise and avoided direct conflict with her mother-in-law. This avoidance of conflict didn't mean submission, submission, or compromise; it was simply a strategic approach to dealing with a formidable opponent. The price she paid was that she could no longer go home. Like other married women, whether they had mothers-in-law or not, she would start making calls and arranging dinners as soon as it was almost time to leave work, filling her spare time with things she previously thought she didn't have time for, minimizing her time at home. For example, she resumed seeing her close friends from before marriage; she searched newspapers for free lectures or performances; and she even bought a quarterly gym membership, planning to go to the gym three times a week for aerobics—carefully selecting the times when buying the membership. Firstly, a month is too short for Lijuan to expect liberation in such a short time, while a year is too long, so long that it makes Lijuan despair. In fact, the period that Lijuan set for her mother-in-law's stay, which is also the period that she decided to endure humbly and respectfully, is three months.

Lijuan had it all planned out. By the time she finished everything and returned home each day, the moon and stars were already high in the sky, meaning she wouldn't have to see her mother-in-law anymore. For her, home was just a bed; she'd sleep there at night and in the morning, she'd just walk through the hallway, politely calling out "Mom" before brushing past her mother-in-law, even avoiding direct eye contact to avoid any potential conflict. For Lijuan, the word "Mom" no longer represented any emotional connection or family relationship. It was just like calling someone "Master" when buying breakfast or addressing them as "Editor Liu" in the office—a title. This title didn't evoke any respect or affection from her, nor did it elicit any dislike. After all, everyone needs a specific form of address; otherwise, you can't communicate with others. "Mom" was just a title. This title was completely different from when she called her "Mum Ma," with its rising and falling tones, the trembling at the end, carrying a sweet and gentle tone, fully encompassing affection, longing, and heartfelt love.

After arranging her activities each day, Lijuan would only call Yaping politely to say, "I won't be home for dinner tonight," and then nothing more. The conversations between Lijuan and Yaping were drastically decreasing, from their previous open and talkative nature to their current conciseness. Before, Lijuan would call Yaping to complain even if her finger got caught in a drawer, hoping to earn a few words of endearment. Now, Lijuan felt she was becoming as hard as a rock. Hardness and softness are relative states. When a man is a strong, supportive tree in one's heart, one becomes a vine clinging to him, unwilling to come down; but when a man is sheltered under his mother's umbrella, constantly called "my son," even the same man makes Lijuan feel that he's a snotty-nosed, weak man, nothing more than laughable and pathetic, failing to evoke any masculine feelings in her.

This significantly affected Lijuan's estrogen levels, to the point that she used to need Yaping's arm to fall asleep and only felt safe with his scent. Now, she resented even his slightest touch, even if he cautiously asked if she was cold, hot, or thirsty. Lijuan felt a sense of insincerity in his inquiries. "So what if I'm hungry? Will you cook for me?" "So what if I'm cold? Will you cover me with a blanket?" "So what if I'm thirsty? Would you dare bring me water in front of your mother?" Since she couldn't do anything, she decided not to ask. Every question Yaping posed to Lijuan was met with a succinct "no," making it clear she didn't want to discuss it further. When Lijuan calmed down and stepped outside the family circle, she realized she had gone too far. Her husband was still her husband; she couldn't let her mother-in-law's presence cause her to place all her resentment on him. But her husband was clearly not the same anymore. Although they still shared a bed, she could no longer find any attachment in him. Their bodies were separated by a blanket, but their hearts were separated by a fence.

Lijuan wanted to settle things peacefully, but Yaping's mother had no intention of letting things go. Yaping's mother saw Lijuan's constant coldness as the consequence of the one and only time she'd made her wash the dishes. At first, Yaping's mother could pretend not to see Lijuan's seemingly expressionless but actually shrewish face, still helping her with her bag and coat when they met, trying to win Lijuan over with the magnanimity of an elder. Unfortunately, Lijuan had firmly established her position: no interference between them, unwilling to have any connection whatsoever. She coldly interpreted her mother-in-law's kindness as a policy of appeasement, acting submissive to her son, but the moment she softened her stance and spoke, she immediately reverted to her previous state of being arranged, manipulated, and ordered around. She had only promised not to confront Yaping's mother directly, not to sacrifice everything to please her. In Lijuan's view, what she was doing now was the greatest contribution she could make to the family.

Yaping's mother noticed that Lijuan had started coming home late at night. First, she refused to eat dinner, and then she wouldn't return until Yaping's mother was exhausted and ready to go to bed. Yaping's mother's resentment began to grow like wild grass. Just a few large bowls, not even clean enough, she'd throw them around, immediately throwing a tantrum and pulling a long face. Who was she trying to impress? "I've washed dishes my whole life, I even wash your wife's underwear! What's wrong with you washing a few bowls? Are you holding a grudge?" Yaping's mother had initially hoped to win her daughter-in-law's heart with her consistent housekeeping and her daily acts of playing hide-and-seek, searching for, washing, and drying the underwear, then conspicuously placing it on Lijuan's pillow. But her daughter-in-law remained unmoved, locking herself in the bedroom every day after coming home, and leaving as soon as she finished washing up in the morning. Not a single kind word, not a grateful heart—she was harder than a rock in a latrine.

Ever since her mother-in-law complained about her lack of tidying up, Lijuan has been carefully hiding her underwear every day, waiting until the weekend to wash it. This is her way of proving to her mother-in-law that she can manage without her washing it. Lijuan could obviously wash her underwear and bra after showering every day. But she doesn't want to—it's not her lifestyle, but her mother-in-law's. If she did that, she would be playing into her mother-in-law's hands. So, subtly and quietly, she has successfully yielded to her mother-in-law. Furthermore, Lijuan doesn't want to see her hands soaked in soap, watching the lines on her fingers become rough and the skin on the back of her hands peel. Lijuan's idea is to wait until the weekend when she has a whole washing machine full of clothes and wash them all at once.

Her mother-in-law repeatedly washed Lijuan's underwear by hand in front of her, perhaps with traces of discharge, saying as she did so, "Such expensive things, how can you wash them in a washing machine? They'll be ruined after just a few washes. How much money can afford to buy them every day, every month?" Lijuan particularly hated her mother-in-law touching her underwear. Those private items, so close to her private parts, made Lijuan associate them with her bedroom, as if she could see her husband's hands roaming over them, his body touching them. Now, these private items were being rubbed and kneaded by rough, wrinkled hands that smelled of onions and ginger. Lijuan felt that her mother-in-law wasn't washing underwear, but rather that her mother-in-law was wantonly ravaging her private parts in the sunlight, making her feel uncomfortable all over. Before, Lijuan would say, "Mom, leave it, I'll wash it later." Lijuan's meaning was clear: 1. I can do it myself; 2. I don't need you to tell me when to do it; 3. Please don't touch my private things. But the mother-in-law was very tactless. She planned to perform this in a way that was half humiliating her daughter-in-law and half demeaning herself in front of Lijuan. I am not ashamed to do this. I will personally demonstrate to you the little things in life. I don't believe that you can turn a blind eye to me doing these things in front of you day after day.

Later, the two started playing hide-and-seek. After taking a shower, Lijuan would stuff her underwear under the pillow, under the mattress, into the gaps in the closet, and into unused bags.

No matter how Lijuan tried to stuff it in, Yaping's mother would patiently and meticulously search every corner of the bedroom with the excitement of tracking prey, relentlessly and patiently. Each time she found something, she would feel a sense of triumphant satisfaction, as if "even the best fox can't outsmart the hunter." Then she would still insist on washing it clean by hand, drying it in the sun, and personally handing it to Lijuan.

After playing this game for a while, Lijuan grew tired of it. She clearly felt that she was no match for her mother-in-law in terms of persistence in life. Lijuan decided to let things take their course, remaining unmoved no matter what. "If you want to wash, then wash." From then on, Lijuan openly left her underwear on the bathroom shelf for her mother-in-law to collect.

The mother-in-law felt a vague resentment because her daughter-in-law had avoided the game and seemed to drift away; this was not the perfect ending she had hoped for. Washing again no longer brought the same sense of triumph and joy as before.

At this point, Yaping's mother became extremely unhappy.

First, her performances at home had no audience. Besides the old man and Yaping, everything she did was considered expected, without complaint, and she wasn't even willing to show any sign of effort. Second, Lijuan wouldn't see any of the work she did because she didn't have time to watch. Third, and most importantly, her work didn't achieve its educational purpose; it felt like punching thin air, with no reaction whatsoever. When she did the work, Lijuan showed guilt, anxiety, or even anger, and she felt her efforts were worthwhile. Now, she did the work, and there was absolutely no reaction; nobody saw it! The most terrifying thing about people is indifference! the old woman thought to herself.

So this pent-up resentment erupted when Lijuan went to do aerobics one day.

"Where is Lijuan?" Yaping's mother asked, knowing the answer already.

"She went to aerobics class and won't be back for dinner, so don't wait for her."

"Why didn't you call home if you weren't coming back for dinner? How am I supposed to cook for you now?!" Ya Ping's mother slammed the basin down on the table, the dough rolling around in it. "You have no respect for your elders at all. I make her fresh, delicious, hot or cold food every day, but she doesn't even look at it. I thought she wouldn't like it since she wasn't coming home for a while, so I kept changing the dishes. She doesn't like pork stew with cabbage, so I made potato stew instead. She doesn't like steamed buns, so I made dumplings instead. I cater to her every whim, so why can't I just ask her to come home for a meal? I'm such a useless mother-in-law!" Ya Ping's mother punched herself in anger.

Yaping quickly grabbed his mother's hand and said, "You're overthinking it. She's not coming back because she's gone to aerobics class, isn't she? Fitness and exercise are good things, it's not because of you at all. Aren't you just making yourself angry?"

"Workout? What kind of workout? There are so many chores around the house, doing them once is enough exercise, why do you have to spend money to go outside and exercise? I'm covered in sweat every day, and she never lifts a finger. It's all about dieting and exercise. Eat less meat, do more chores, and you'll have everything. I think she's only comfortable if she doesn't spend money. Don't try to defend her! You've spoiled your wife rotten! She's lost all her shape. Lazy, good-for-nothing, and arrogant. Don't you even try to control her? We older folks are just being polite and don't want to say anything, but you, a grown man, how can you..." Not talking? Does she even care about me? Home is a hotel, I'm a free waitress, I wash her underwear and so on, and I don't even get a single word from her. This morning! She called out "Mom!" towards the shoe rack, her voice so soft even someone hard of hearing couldn't hear it! I was in the kitchen! Who was she calling for? In the past, daughters-in-law were expected to greet their mothers-in-law morning and evening; nowadays, even with their mothers-in-law serving them, they don't get a smile in return. I used to praise her for her smiling face and good temper, but now! Her smiles are only for show; at home, she has a long face! What do I owe her?

Yaping rubbed his hands together, pacing around his mother, unsure what to say that would neither add fuel to the fire nor escalate the situation. The only person he could communicate with was his wife; he obviously couldn't tell his mother, "Lijuan works very hard every day, don't criticize her." In Yaping's eyes, his wife was an integral part of him, within his control, someone he could negotiate with and win over. His mother, on the other hand, was someone he could only ever be submissive and obedient to. He knew that some of the things his mother said would certainly not please his wife, but he couldn't say to his mother, "If you keep talking nonsense, I'll make you regret it!" This fierce anger, this subtly threatening tone, could only be directed at his wife, his bedmate, and perhaps his lifelong partner. There's an ancient saying about the proper relationships between ruler and subject, father and son: with one's wife, both are equals, but with one's mother, one can only be humble, grateful, and obedient. With one's mother, there's no room for reason.

In a mother's eyes, she has given you everything, including your bones and blood. She can continue to give you everything; she would even give you her heart if you needed her. Therefore, she has absolute authority over you. This kind of complete devotion is only given by a mother to her son. Even a woman brought home by her son from outside wouldn't make such a complete sacrifice. Her jurisdiction includes not only her own son but also the outsider he brings home—no matter how much her son likes this outsider, she is undeniably an outsider. She stole her son's heart, stole his affection for his mother, stole the money he used to support her, and even ultimately used his son's son to strike her down. When this woman becomes the mother of her grandson, this woman who has contributed nothing to the family, this woman who has completely invaded the family, can instantly stand on equal footing with the mother who has dedicated her entire life to the family.

Yaping's mother had already foreseen her future position in the family. When Lijuan's belly grew large, and when Lijuan shouldered the heavy responsibility of continuing the family line, even if she was unwilling and reluctant to leave the stage, she would have to hastily exit under the dim lights and lose her right to speak. Lijuan's belly would be the key to the change of protagonist. Therefore, Yaping's mother had to push the entire family onto her own track before Lijuan's belly declared its sovereignty, to move forward according to her planned family life path, and to make her daughter-in-law the successor of the Nth generation of the Li family. Because, in her youth, Yaping's mother had been coerced and molded by her mother-in-law in this way.

So, when Lijuan returned, she saw Yaping, whose mind had been re-educated by her mother, sitting on the sofa waiting. Yaping couldn't make any more demands of Lijuan. Lijuan had done everything Yaping had asked. As for love and respect, these couldn't be demanded; they had to come from the heart, from genuine conviction, otherwise all definitions were empty.

"Lijuan, you're back so late? You must be exhausted. Your body can't take it. You should come home for dinner from now on! It's so nice for the whole family to be together." Lijuan immediately recognized that this was the result of her mother-in-law's constant nagging. Perhaps her mother-in-law's words were even more blunt and unpleasant to hear, but Yaping had put on a lot of makeup and put on a lot of flowers to make them sound so gentle and pleasant.

"No need. This house is yours, not mine. I'll come back when your mother passes away. That's better, so we don't have anything to do with each other. I've already done as you said, so there's no conflict."

"Lijuan, how can I make you feel better? She's my mother, and you're my wife. Think about it for me, okay?" Lijuan was too lazy to waste any more time arguing with Yaping about the same issue. If they continued, Yaping might resort to his old tricks, kneeling before her and begging for more concessions. Perhaps this time he'd even escalate things, like in those TV dramas, adding a few slaps to himself to appear more pitiful and gain Lijuan's sympathy. Lijuan didn't want anything left for Yaping besides pity and sympathy; she didn't want any love left.

Lijuan ignored Yaping and turned back to her room, leaving Yaping to face Lijuan's cold back again that night.

Now, Yaping faces a choice between his mother and his wife. Otherwise, he'll see Lijuan drifting further and further away, while his mother's resentment will only grow stronger. Yaping thought for a moment and decided to gently persuade his mother to go back. He absolutely couldn't utter those words of refusal; if he did, it would forever wound his mother's heart. Yaping called his sister from work, and the helplessness in his voice was immediately understood by her. "Lijuan can't tolerate my mother, can she?"

"No, it's my mother who can't stand Lijuan."

"Impossible! Where can you find a mother-in-law as tolerant, generous, and easy to get along with as my mom? Have you ever met a mother who is more hardworking than my mom?"

"She's just too diligent. She thinks Lijuan is lazy, and now they can't even sit at the same table to eat. Please think of a reason to bring Mom back! I'm begging you." "Okay, okay, let me think."

Two days later, Yaping's mother received a call from Yaping's older sister, Guanhua, saying that her aunt, who was looking after the house, had to go back to the countryside because her grandson was sick. There was no one to look after the house in Mudanjiang, and she was afraid that things would be stolen. She urged her to go back quickly. After thinking about it, Yaping's mother felt that the house there was also more important, so she decided to give up this place and guard the main base first.

“Yaping! Your father and I originally wanted to stay here a little longer, but there’s no one to look after the house right now, and something’s happened with your aunt. We’ll go back for a while, and come back to see you again once it’s resolved, okay?” Yaping knew perfectly well what was going on, but he still had to put on a sad and reluctant expression. He felt that his acting skills had recently become superb, because the guilt he felt for the unfilial things he had done behind his parents’ backs was obvious, so his words of urging her to stay sounded all the more heartfelt: “Mom! You’ve only just arrived, and I haven’t even had a chance to take you sightseeing in Shanghai. Why are you leaving all of a sudden? There’s nothing of value at home, so if no one’s looking after the house, we won’t go. Please stay a little longer; I want you to enjoy yourself before you leave.”

“Child, what are you afraid of? There’s plenty of time. You have a home here now, I can come whenever I want, why would I need to go out of my way to visit? This is right on my doorstep! Have you ever seen anyone who lives in Beijing and visits the Forbidden City every day? This is nothing special. You can come often in the future, there will be plenty of opportunities.” Yaping didn’t dare to say too much to persuade her to stay, afraid that her performance was too enthusiastic and might actually touch her mother’s heart, so she went along with it and said, “Well… come over when it gets cooler in a while.”

Yaping loudly told Lijuan the exciting news the moment she got home in the middle of the night: "Mom's leaving!"

The so-called exciting news was only for Lijuan; for Yaping, it was a bittersweet experience.

The sudden news caught Lijuan off guard. Her first reaction was an undisguised joy: "Really!" Her mouth stretched from ear to ear with happiness, a smile Yaping hadn't seen in a long time. At that moment, Yaping's mother was in the kitchen, pretending to cut fruit while secretly glancing at Lijuan's expression.

Lijuan realized her joy was too obvious, so she unusually went to the kitchen, stood behind Yaping's mother, and feigned reluctance: "Mom, why are you leaving so suddenly? Won't you stay a few more days?" Yaping's mother knew the hypocrisy of this, as hypocritical as an empress wishing the empress dowager a long life while secretly hoping for her own, but since the separation was imminent, neither wanted to break the mask, so she agreed: "There's no one to look after the house, I have to go, I really can't bear to part with you." So, on the night the decision was made, the family was unusually happy, making small talk.

"When is your mother leaving?" Lijuan asked directly as soon as she closed the bedroom door. "I'm thinking of letting her leave after this Sunday. She hasn't been anywhere since she arrived. I'll take her to see Shanghai, take some pictures, so she'll have something to brag about when she goes back."

"It's not like I don't want to take her. Every time I suggest going out, she acts like it's a fight. Before we even leave the house, she calculates the fare to and from the destination, and all the other expenses. In the end, she concludes that nowhere is as comfortable as home and she's not going. What can I do? But this time, I really should take her out. She's been here for so long and done so much for us. I've always wanted to buy her some clothes. Let's take this opportunity!"

"My dear Juan, you're so thoughtful!" Yaping couldn't help but praise.

The relaxation that night was indescribable; the two of them had suddenly gone from a life of hardship to one of ease and freedom. Yaping pretended to be absentmindedly flipping through a textbook, occasionally slipping his hand inside Lijuan's underwear, teasing her. Lijuan, her heart pounding with excitement, playfully drew small circles on Yaping's chest with her hand, wrinkling her nose and speaking in a coquettish voice: "What are you doing?! Your hands are getting restless."

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