Fortunately, her mother came in at just the right time, carrying a basket box, and said with a smile, "Mu Jin, you didn't come back yesterday. Your great-aunt said she would give you a farewell dinner and made two dishes. Since you didn't come back, she saved them for you to take on the train."
Mu Jin exchanged pleasantries. Mrs. Gu then smiled and said, "I'll have Liu's maid hire a carriage for you." Mu Jin quickly replied, "I'll hire one myself." Mrs. Gu helped him carry his suitcase, and he hurriedly said goodbye to Manlu. Mrs. Gu saw him off all the way to the alley entrance.
Manlu was alone in the room, and tears streamed down her face like sand. The room was exactly the same as when she had come two days ago; the towel he had used was still hanging on the back of the chair, but his hat was missing from the table. Last night, she had seen all of this under the lamp, and the warm and familiar feeling she had felt now seemed like a distant memory.
The book beside his pillow was still there, turned to a certain page. She hadn't noticed it yesterday; there were several novels on the table, all her sister's books, ones she recognized, and the lamp too—also her sister's. —Her second sister was truly considerate to Mu Jin, lending him novels and even bringing a lamp so he could read comfortably in bed. Her attentiveness was palpable. Her mother even encouraged her, deliberately sending her to bring tea and water, constantly finding excuses to come to his room, like a sub-landlord's daughter, always hovering around him, flaunting her charms. Just because she was a young girl, no matter how much she flaunted her charms, people still thought she was innocent and her motives were pure. Manlu truly hated her, hated her to the core. She was so young; she had a future, unlike Manlu, whose life was already over, leaving only her past with Mu Jin—bitter, yet memorable. But giving this to her sister would ruin that memory, turning it into a pile of painful memories that can't be touched and will cause her heartache whenever she thinks about it.
Even this fleeting, dreamlike memory couldn't be left for her. Why so cruel? Manzhen had another lover. Her mother said that man was already jealous. Perhaps Manzhen's goal was to make him jealous. For no other reason than to make her boyfriend jealous.
Manlu thought to herself, "I didn't treat her wrongly. She's so ungrateful. Doesn't she realize who I sacrificed my youth for? If it weren't for them, I would have married Mu Jin long ago. I'm so stupid. So stupid."
All she could do was weep.
When Mrs. Gu returned, she saw her slumped over the table, her shoulders heaving with sobs. Mrs. Gu quietly stood beside her, and after a long while said, "See? I advised you, but you wouldn't listen. What good would it do to see her? Wouldn't it just cause you unnecessary heartache?"
The sunlight shone a warm yellow on the floor, and the room, still a little messy, seemed to have just been emptied by a train passenger. Two old newspapers used for wrapping things lay on the floor, which Mrs. Gu picked up one by one, saying, "Don't be sad. It's better this way! You don't know how worried I was earlier. I was thinking that you've been feeling down lately, always arguing with your son-in-law, and that you shouldn't let your heart race whenever you see Mu Jin. Thankfully, you're sensible!"
Manlu ignored her. All that could be heard was her sobbing, which was devastating.
Novel TXT Heaven
Eighteen Spring Nine
On that stormy night, Shijun made up his mind never to go to Manzhen's house again.
But this kind of resolve is of little value. After all, the trigger he received was merely a few words from her mother, and had nothing to do with her personally. Even if she herself had changed her mind, given their past relationship, it couldn't be left like this; they should at least meet and make things clear.
Shijun seemed to have figured things out, but for some reason, he delayed for another day. In truth, each extra day only meant one more sleepless night. The next day, during office hours, he went to the head office to see Manzhen. Since Shuhui left and someone else was transferred to Manzhen's office, it wasn't very convenient to talk, and Shijun rarely came, to avoid attracting attention. That day, he simply said to her, "How about going out for dinner tonight? It's at that coffee shop not far from the Yang family's. After dinner, it'll be convenient for you to teach there." Manzhen said, "I'm not teaching today. Those two kids are going to a wedding banquet; they told me yesterday." Shijun said, "You're coming to my house for dinner, right? You haven't been here in a long time." Shijun paused, then said, "Who said that? I just arrived the day before yesterday." Manzhen was quite surprised, saying, "Oh? Why didn't they tell me?" Shijun remained silent. Seeing this, Manzhen guessed that he must have been wronged. At the time, it wasn't convenient to delve into the matter, so she simply smiled and said, "I happened to be out the day before yesterday. My brother's school was putting on a play, and it was Jiemin's first time on stage, so I had to go and support him. When I came back, it was pouring rain, and several of us caught a cold. We were passing things around, and the whole family caught a chill. Let's not go out to eat today. I can't eat anything too greasy either; you can hear how hoarse my voice is!" Shijun found that the slightly husky tone of her voice gave her a unique, poignant charm. So he agreed to come to her house for dinner.
He arrived at her house at dusk, and before he even reached the halfway point up the stairs, the stairwell light switched on—his mother had turned it on from upstairs. At the top of the stairs, just like the day before, sat a coal stove with a clay pot bubbling away, the air thick with the aroma of ham soup. Shijun had eaten at their house many times, and Mrs. Gu knew his tastes; the dishes were probably prepared especially for him. Why had Mrs. Gu suddenly become so attentive to him? Manzhen must have said something to her. Shijun felt a little embarrassed.
Mrs. Gu seemed a little embarrassed, and nodded to him with a smile, saying: "Manzhen is inside."
Shijun went into the room and saw Old Madam Gu sitting there shelling broad beans. When the old lady saw him, she smiled and gestured towards Manzhen's bedroom, saying, "Manzhen is inside." At this, Shijun became a little uneasy.
Entering, Manzhen was leaning against the windowsill, looking down. Shijun quietly walked behind her, grabbed her wrist, and laughed, "What are you looking at so intently? How could I not have seen you?" Shijun chuckled, "Perhaps I missed you if I glanced at you for too long." He held her hand tightly, and Manzhen said, "Why haven't you come these past few days?"
Shi Jun smiled and said, "I've been busy lately." Man Zhen pouted at him. Shi Jun smiled and said, "Really. Shu Hui has a younger sister studying in the mainland, right? Recently, she came to Shanghai to take the college entrance exam and needs tutoring in arithmetic. Since Shu Hui doesn't live at home now, this task has fallen to me. I tutor her for two hours every evening after dinner. —Where's Mu Jin?" Man Zhen said, "She's already gone. She left today." The desk lamp turned on and off. Man Zhen slapped his hand and said, "Don't do that, you'll break it! I'm asking you, what did Mom say to you when you came the day before yesterday?" Shi Jun smiled and said, "She didn't say anything." Man Zhen smiled and said, "You're always so dishonest. It's because I wasn't honest with my mother that you were wronged."
Shi Jun laughed, "What did she accuse me of?" Man Zhen laughed, "Don't worry about it. I've already explained it to her, and she knows she wronged an innocent person." Shi Jun laughed, "Oh, I know. She must think I wasn't sincere with you." Man Zhen laughed, "What? Did you hear what she said?" She said, "I don't believe it." Shi Jun said, "It's true. Your sister came that day, didn't she?" Man Zhen nodded slightly. Shi Jun said, "They were talking in the inner room, and I heard your mother say—" He didn't want to say her mother was snobbish, so he paused slightly before saying, "I don't remember clearly, but she meant that Mu Jin was an ideal son-in-law." Man Zhen smiled and said, "Mu Jin might be the ideal son-in-law for old ladies." Shi Jun looked at her and smiled, "I think he's a man who appeals to both refined and common tastes."
Manzhen glanced at him and said, "If you don't bring it up, I won't either—I was just about to settle accounts with you!" Shijun laughed and said, "What?" Manzhen said, "You think I'm on good terms with Mujin, right? You don't trust me at all." Shijun laughed and said, "That's not true!"
"I was just joking earlier. I know you only admire him. As for him, he's the most sentimental person. He's been so loyal to your sister all these years, how could he suddenly fall in love with her sister in just a few days? That's impossible." He sounded a little sour when he mentioned Mu Jin. Manzhen had originally wanted to tell him the whole story of Mu Jin's proposal to her, to stop him from having that lingering doubt. But she didn't want to say it, because she also felt that Mu Jin's "chastity" for his sister all these years, and then suddenly transferring his affections to her, was somewhat surprising, and made ridiculous by Shijun's words. She didn't want him to be ridiculed. She was somewhat protective of him.
Seeing her hesitant expression, Shijun found it strange and glanced at her. He remained silent for a moment before finally smiling and saying, "What your mother said is right." Manzhen smiled and asked, "Which sentence?" Shijun smiled and said, "It's better to get married sooner rather than later. If things continue like this, misunderstandings are likely to occur." Manzhen smiled and said, "Unless it's you, I wouldn't be so suspicious. For example, you just mentioned Shuhui's sister—" Shijun smiled and said, "Shuhui's sister? She's only fourteen this year." Manzhen smiled and said, "I wasn't trying to find out in a roundabout way, so don't take it as me being malicious." Shijun smiled and said, "Perhaps you were." Manzhen, however, was genuinely a little angry and said, "I'm not talking to you anymore!"
Then he ran away.
Shijun pulled her aside and laughed, "I'm being serious." Manzhen said, "Didn't we already decide to wait two more years?" Shijun said, "Actually, it's the same even after we're married. You can still work, right?" Manzhen said, "What if—what if we have children? With more children, you can't go out to work anymore, and you'll have to support both households by yourself. I've seen this kind of thing too many times. A man not only supports his family, but his in-laws also depend on him, forcing him to grab any money he can get and do anything. What future is that? —What are you laughing at?" Shijun laughed, "How many children do you plan to have?" Manzhen spat, "I'm really not talking to you this time!"
Shi Jun added, "To be honest, it's not that I can't endure hardship; we can all share the burden."
Don't you ever think about me? Seeing you working so hard, don't I feel sad?
Manzhen said, "I'm fine." She was always so stubborn. Shijun had said these words more than once. He fell silent, looking dejected. Manzhen looked at his face and smiled, "You must think I'm very cold-hearted." Shijun suddenly pulled her into his arms and whispered, "I know you wouldn't agree if it were for your sake. But if it were entirely for me, for my selfishness, would you agree?" She didn't answer his question, but pushed him away to avoid his kiss, saying, "I have a cold, don't get sick." Shijun laughed, "I have a bit of a cold too." Manzhen chuckled and said, "Don't talk nonsense! I'll help you peel it."
Shijun also came out. Behind her grandmother was a desk, so Shijun leaned against it, picked up a newspaper, and pretended to read it, but he was actually watching her the whole time, smiling at her. Manzhen sat there shelling beans, feeling a little restless. She finally began to waver, thinking, "Well, I'll just get married first. Many people have heavy family burdens; how do they manage?" Just as she was deep in thought, she heard her grandmother exclaim, "What are you doing?" Manzhen was startled. Looking down, she saw that she had left the bean pods on the table and was throwing the shelled beans one by one onto the floor. Her face flushed red, and she quickly squatted down to pick up the beans, laughing, "I asked Guo the Fool to help, but he's only making things worse!"
Her grandmother laughed, "I've never seen anyone like you, doing something with your hands and not even looking at it." Manzhen laughed, "I'll peel a few more and then I'm done. My fingernails are all cut short from typing, peeling these beans really hurts." Her grandmother said, "I knew you couldn't do it!" With that, she moved on.
Although Manzhen's heart wavered, Shijun was unaware of this. He remained somewhat depressed. After dinner, the old lady offered Shijun a pack of cigarettes, which they had found in a drawer while cleaning the downstairs rooms. The children wanted to take them to play with, but their mother wouldn't allow it. Shijun casually took one and smoked it. After the old lady left, he smiled at Manzhen and said, "Mujin left this here, didn't he?" He remembered Mujin saying that in the countryside, cigarettes like "Little Fairy" were the finest, and once he got used to them, he bought them even in Shanghai. He was probably used to being frugal. As Shijun smoked his cigarette, he started talking to Manzhen about him again, but Manzhen was reluctant to mention Mujin. When she got home today, she found that Mujin had already come by, taken his luggage, and gone straight to the station, clearly intentionally avoiding seeing her. He probably wouldn't come again. By rejecting him, she had lost a friend like him. Although there was nothing she could do, she couldn't help but feel sad. Seeing the wistful look on her face, Shi Jun remembered that when they were together some time ago, she often mentioned Mu Jin, she mentioned him so many times. But now her attitude was exactly the opposite, as if she was afraid to mention him.
Something must have happened. She wouldn't say, and he wouldn't ask her.
He was a bit downcast that day and went home early, making an excuse that he needed to tutor Shuhui's sister in arithmetic. Not long after he left, the doorbell rang again. Mrs. Gu and the others assumed it was a tenant from downstairs and ignored it. Later, hearing footsteps on the stairs, they called out, "Who is it?" Shijun smiled and said, "It's me, I'm here again!"
Mrs. Gu, the old lady, and even Manzhen were all taken aback. They felt that his coming twice in one day was too much. Manzhen's cheeks flushed again. She felt that his behavior was a bit unreasonable. Wouldn't it embarrass her if her family saw it? But she was also very happy, for some reason.
Shi Jun stopped before he even reached the door, smiling, "Are you asleep already?" Mrs. Gu smiled, "No, no, it's still early." Shi Jun walked in, and everyone in the room greeted him with smiles, tinged with a hint of teasing. But Manzhen was startled when she saw the small suitcase he was carrying. She noticed his uneasy expression despite his smile. He smiled and said, "I need to go back to Nanjing. My train is tonight. I thought I'd come here to let you know." "What time is your train?" Shi Jun said, "A telegram just arrived saying my father is ill and I need to go back." He stood there, not putting down his suitcase, as if he had no intention of sitting down. Manzhen, like him, was a little flustered, just standing there blankly. Mrs. Gu asked, "What time is your train?" Shi Jun said, "11:30." He took off his scarf and placed it on the table.
Mrs. Gu made a small talk, saying she was going to make tea, and then left, calling her other children out one by one. The old lady also left, leaving only him and Manzhen. Manzhen said, "The telegram didn't say what the illness was? It's not serious, is it?" Shijun said, "The telegram was sent by my mother. I think if it wasn't very serious, my mother wouldn't even know he was sick. My father has another family, he always lives there." Manzhen nodded. Seeing that she hadn't spoken for a while, Shijun knew she must be worried that he wouldn't be back for a while, so he said, "I'll come back as soon as possible. I can't take too much leave from the factory." Manzhen nodded again.
When he last returned to Nanjing, their relationship was still quite superficial; this time, it was the first time they had truly experienced the bitterness of separation. Manzhen hesitated for a long time before finally managing to say, "I don't even know your home address." She immediately went to find paper and pen, but Shijun said, "No need to write anything; I'll write as soon as I get there, and I'll indicate it on the envelope." Manzhen said, "I'll still write something." A sense of desolation washed over her.
Shijun finished writing, stood up, and said, "I should go. Don't come out, you have a cold." Manzhen said, "It's alright." She put on her coat and went out with him. The iron gate in the alley hadn't been bolted yet, but there were few pedestrians on the street. They encountered two rickshaws, both carrying passengers. Most of the houses along the street had their lights off, except for one with a public stove, its door wide open. Under the yellow electric light, you could see milky white steam rising from under the dark wooden lid of the pot on the stove. It was warm and cozy as soon as you reached its door. Night travelers passing by couldn't help but feel a little reluctant to leave. The weather was truly getting cold, and the nights were quite chilly.
Shi Jun said, "I didn't have any feelings for my father before, but when I went back last time and saw him, I don't know why, it made me very sad." Man Zhen nodded and said, "I heard what you said." Shi Jun said, "Also, what I'm most worried about is the future financial situation of the family. Actually, this is all expected, but—my mind is in complete turmoil."
Manzhen suddenly grabbed his hand and said, "I wish I could go with you. I wouldn't have to show my face. I could just find a place to stay. If anything happens, you'd have someone by your side to talk to me about it anytime, and that would make you feel better."
Shijun looked at her and smiled, "See, now you know that things would be much easier if we got married. We could go back together, and you wouldn't have to worry about it all by yourself." Manzhen rolled her eyes at him and said, "You still have the heart to say these things. It's clear you're not really in a hurry."
A rickshaw approached from afar. Shijun called out, and the driver crossed the street to come this way. Suddenly, Shijun remembered something and whispered to Manzhen, "No one will read my letters, so you can write them—a little longer." Manzhen chuckled and said, "Didn't you say you didn't need to write anymore and would be back in a few days? I knew you were lying to me!" Shijun laughed too.
She stood under the streetlight, watching him walk away.
The next morning, the train arrived in Nanjing. Shijun rushed home, but his family's shop was still closed. He entered through the back door and saw the rickshaw driver dusting off the rickshaw. Shijun asked, "Is Madam up yet?" The rickshaw driver replied, "Yes, she's up. She'll be going over there soon." As he said "over there," he slightly tilted his head to the side; "over there" was, of course, a euphemism for the small mansion. Shijun's heart skipped a beat. He thought, "Father's illness must be incurable, so Mother has to go over there to see him." With this thought, his steps grew heavy. The rickshaw driver rushed ahead of him, running upstairs to announce his arrival. Madam Shen came out to greet him, smiling, "You've come so quickly."
I was just talking to the eldest young mistress, telling her to have the driver pick them up later; it must be the noon bus. The eldest young mistress, who was eating porridge with Xiao Jian, quickly got up and asked the maid to add a set of bowls and chopsticks, and also asked them to cut some sausage. Mrs. Shen said to Shi Jun, "After you've had breakfast, come with me." Shi Jun asked, "How is Dad's illness?" Mrs. Shen said, "He's finally gotten a little better these past two days. The first two days were terrifying! I didn't care about anything else and rushed to see him. He looked terrible; his tongue was stiff, and he couldn't speak clearly. Now he's getting injections every day, and the doctor says he needs to rest well; he's still not out of danger. I go to see him every day now."
His mother was going to the small mansion every day, living with the concubine and her patriarchal mother—Shijun simply couldn't imagine it. Especially because of her mother, a woman like her, she could endure any hardship, no matter how bitter, but she had her status, her patriarchal values were very strong, and she would never lose face in front of the concubines. Although it was supposedly to care for her husband's illness, there were other people there to take care of him, and she must have been very unwelcome there, and it must have been very painful for her. Shijun couldn't help but recall how his mother always spoke of his father in a cold tone, mentioning his illness and the possibility of death. She would calmly laugh and say, "I'm not worried about anything else. He didn't leave us anything. How will we live in the future? If it weren't for that, I wouldn't care if he died right away. Anyway, I won't see him all year round, so it's better for him to die!" Her words still echoed in his ears.
After breakfast, his mother and he went to his father's place together. His mother took a chartered car, while she called another rickshaw for Shijun. Shijun arrived first, jumped off, and rang the bell. A male servant opened the door, seemed surprised to see him, and called out, "Second Young Master." Shijun went inside and saw his aunt's mother sitting in the guest room, braiding her granddaughter's hair, while a maid was squatting on the ground tying the child's shoelaces. The aunt's mother said while braiding the hair, "Is that girl from the Drum Tower here? -- Don't move, don't move, Daddy's sick, you better behave! Zhou Ma, take her for a walk, but don't let her eat anything she shouldn't, okay?" Shijun thought, "That girl from the Drum Tower must be referring to my mother. Don't we live in the Drum Tower? It's a name derived from a place." At this moment, "that girl from the Drum Tower..."