I don't know how much time passed, but then his fingertips touched my cheek, gently caressing it. His lips remained pressed against mine, lingering and licking.
I tried to hold back my tears, but they still streamed down my face. I tried to wipe them away, but he held my hand firmly.
He didn't open his eyes. When his lips touched the wetness on my cheek, he paused slightly, then moved upwards to gently kiss away my tears. He held me tightly in his arms and whispered, "Do you remember, I held you like this when we slept on the princess couch?"
His words made me cry even harder, and I turned my face away, burying it in my pillowcase.
Lou Xiyue reached out and held my head against his chest, kissing my hair and sighing softly, "Silly girl, you cry so easily. I'll hold you for just this one night, okay?"
I closed my eyes, leaned against him, and his hair brushed against my forehead.
The beautiful haze gradually unfolded before my eyes, like the last vestige of a dream before sunset.
55. [May Fourth Movement] Quicksand Darkness (Part 5)
When I woke up the next day, it was still dark and the warmth had already cooled down.
The oil lamp on the table in the small room had only a long wick left, which would break at the slightest touch.
He got up and straightened his clothes, and occasionally heard voices drifting by.
Lianji, dressed in an elaborately patterned palace gown, stood under a peach tree in the hall.
She gave a half-smile, her eyes slightly upturned, a look of sorrow on her face, and sighed, "Do you think the purse was given to you by her? At the lantern festival, the girl who gave you the token was not Qi Xiang."
Lou Xiyue seemed slightly taken aback, and whispered, "And then?"
Lianji looked at him, the pale blossoms of the tree enveloping the two of them. She lowered her head slightly and asked in a low voice, "I've always wondered, if you had known back then, would you have treated me any differently?"
She smiled slightly, "Qi Xiang and I look very alike. If I hadn't been taken back to Xue Kingdom back then, it would have been me by your side, not her."
Lou Xiyue's expression was cold and stern, and her tone was extremely indifferent: "So you came here to talk to me about this?"
Lianji chuckled softly, "Now that I'm a princess, I naturally know our fate was long over. I'm just a little unwilling; I was the one who fell in love with you first. Fate is cruel; no one expected to see you here again. Lou Zhao is the murderer of my parents; he gave his life for mine. I have a clear conscience. But..."
She paused, then curled the corners of her lips into a smile. "Qi Xiangxin doesn't have you in her heart; she only has her master. Do you know how she got poisoned?"
"Back then, she was so attached to Xia Jingnan that she didn't hesitate to test the medicine on herself, which led to this situation. Now, in order to get the antidote, she agreed to the Emperor's succession, which was also within my expectations. For Xia Jingnan, she is truly willing to do anything."
Lou Xiyue's eyes narrowed, and she lowered her brows to look at Lian Ji.
Lianji removed a silver hairpin from her hair and handed it to Lou Xiyue, lowering her eyes as she said, "I saw you in the palace a year ago, and that's when I realized I had never forgotten you. If only she had been the one taken away instead of me... Could you keep this hairpin as a keepsake?"
Lou Xiyue looked at her, and after a moment, he smiled faintly and said distantly, "Your Highness, I apologize for the intrusion."
He didn't take her hairpin, but walked right past her.
Lianji's hand froze in mid-air for a moment, then fell limply to her side.
The peach blossoms were in full bloom, as beautiful as rosy clouds, but then they fell, shattering the dreams of the past.
A thin mist rose at dawn, enveloping the clear dew.
When Lou Xiyue stepped in, I hurriedly sat back down at the table, picked up a teacup, and pretended to drink tea.
He didn't say anything, just sat to the side, propping his forehead up and looking at me.
I put down my cup and said, "It's still early, why don't we play chess together?"
He poured himself a cup of tea and said in a low voice, "Alright, but if you lose this time, you'll have to accept a punishment."
Without thinking, I replied, "Whatever punishment you want."
In the garden stood a very lush laurel tree. I set up a chessboard, brewed a pot of tea, and sat with Lou Xiyue at the stone table. He rested his chin on his hand, holding a white chess piece, as if deep in thought.
A few beams of light sparsed through the branches and leaves, shining dazzlingly on his silver-trimmed cuffs.
I asked casually, "What kind of tea do you like?"
He placed a bet and said calmly, "Either is fine."
"What about the dishes? Are there any dishes you particularly like?"
Lou Xiyue shook her head slightly.
I placed a bean and replied, "Nothing you particularly like?"
I suddenly realized that I knew very little about him; I didn't even know what his favorite dishes or drinks were.
He looked up at me, paused, then placed the pieces on the plate and said softly, "Xiao Xiang, you lost."
I paused for a moment and said, "I admit defeat. What punishment do you want?"
Lou Xiyue stared quietly at the chessboard. After a long while, he chuckled softly, "After thinking about it, it seems there's nothing to punish. I always thought the little girl at the lantern festival was you, but it turns out I mistook you for someone else. I'm a little tired, I'll go back to my room and take a nap."
After saying that, he got up and was about to leave.
I grabbed him and asked, "What do you mean? What do you mean by 'mistaking someone for someone else'?"
Lou Xiyue stopped in her tracks, her smile tinged with weariness. "These are all things of the past. Tomorrow is your grand ceremony; go and prepare."
I said urgently, "Lou Xiyue, explain yourself clearly. You've always mistaken me for Qi Xiao, haven't you?"
He smiled faintly, "I originally thought you still liked me to some extent, but perhaps something happened that made you forget what happened before. Now it seems that I just mistook you for someone else."
He rested his forehead on his hand and said calmly, "If I hadn't mistaken that girl for you, we wouldn't have any connection. Now that things are clear, you can rest assured and continue being your princess, testing medicines to cure your master. I'll stay here for the night and return to the Central Plains tomorrow, which can be considered as seeing you off."
He brushed my hand away and left with a parting remark, "You just asked me if there was anything I particularly liked. I can tell you clearly, yes. It's just that you seem to have never known."
I watched his figure gradually disappear into the distance, until it became a blur.
The fog still lingered, its layers pressing down on my heart, enveloping me completely.
I went back into the house, and there were only the two shadow puppets on the table; nothing else was left.
The following day, the entire Kingdom of Da Xue celebrated.
The Emperor issued a decree bestowing upon me the title of Xuanji, establishing me as the eldest princess, and granting me the title of Imperial Princess seven days later.
I didn't sleep all night. As soon as the clock struck midnight, I rushed to knock on Lou Xiyue's door, hoping to see him one last time.
He pushed open the door, but the house was empty, as if he had never lived there.
But he clearly said he would accompany me to the Princess Ceremony.
The separation came so unexpectedly, it felt like a heavy knife had been plunged into my heart, and I suddenly sank.
I imagine Lou Xiyue is perhaps leaning against a stone table in the outer garden, drinking wine, or perhaps he is sitting on the eaves, smiling down at me, just like a year ago.
But no matter how hard they searched, they couldn't find him.
I sat there absentmindedly under the laurel tree. Just yesterday, we were playing chess here, and he was still within my sight.
Are you feeling unwell?
I turned around and managed to see Lianji's mocking smile: "You only realize how painful it is when someone is gone. You're always so hypocritical."
Her voice was somewhat ethereal, "You haven't fallen in love with him, have you?"
I always took it for granted that he would stay by my side, never leave, and be with me forever.
But as soon as he left, my heart felt empty, as if I had lost my most precious treasure, and the whole sky seemed to darken.
Even though I know this is the best ending, I still can't help but think of his face again and again.
I watched blankly as the sky gradually brightened until golden smoke rose from the eaves. A palace servant respectfully announced: "Your Highness, the carriage is waiting outside the gate."
I sat in the carriage, the wheels slowly rolling over, leaving two long tracks on the ground.
The people stood on both sides, bowing their heads in respect, while the sounds of bells and drums rang out in the distance.
In the bustling crowd, I saw Lou Xiyue for the last time.
He maintained his usual nonchalant demeanor, dressed in a light blue brocade robe adorned with bamboo leaf patterns, a faint smile playing at the corners of his eyes as he quietly watched me.
He moved his lips, raised his hand to his lapel and bowed to me, then turned and disappeared into the crowd, vanishing without a trace.
Judging from his lip shape, he said: Goodbye, Princess Xuanji.