…
"Who are you?"... "There's no such person as Dr. Li."... "You killed that person."... "I didn't say anything."...
…
What?
Li Feiyan opened her eyes. It turned out she had somehow dozed off by the patient's bedside during her night shift rounds. She sat up and sat on the edge of the bed for a while. Qi Yi'an was staring blankly at her with his eyes wide open.
Did I just dream about her? In my memory, she was a quirky and interesting child. Li Feiyan looked at her pure face, reaching out to brush away the stray hairs from her forehead, feeling an inexplicable fondness for her. It's a pity she's so young and still lying there like this; I hope I can help her wake up.
-----
The plane landed at an old airport in a southern Chinese city. Stepping off the plane felt more like disembarking from a spaceship; the surrounding area was a kaleidoscope of colors, like something out of a science fiction movie. The city's landscape and architecture were highly developed and futuristic. Qin Ruoshui finally felt a sense of relief; she was overjoyed to be alive—it was truly touching.
The communication equipment in Country E was damaged, and her mobile phone could no longer connect to the internet. After settling back in China, Qin Ruoshui immediately received a series of calls and messages as soon as she reconnected to the internet, and busied herself letting everyone know she was safe.
"Beep...beep...beep..." Qi Yi'an's hand trembled slightly as she dialed the number, as if she had a fever. Two days had passed, with countless messages and calls, but no response. She had barely slept and was distracted at work.
"Hello?"
"..." Qi Yi'an's breathing trembled slightly, and his heart was pounding wildly.
“…Little friend…” Qin Ruoshui called her apologetically in a soft voice.
"..." The breathing on the other end of the phone grew heavier.
"...Why aren't you saying anything?"
"Qin Ruoshui...where are you? Are you safe?" Her voice was choked with emotion.
"..." Qin Ruoshui's breathing became a little erratic, "...I'm back in China...and alive and well..."
…
The next time Qi Yi'an saw Qin Ruoshui was in the depths of winter, a season when the poplar leaves in Beijing had all fallen, when your breath turns white, and when the wind is biting like a knife, capable of chilling you to the bone. It felt like less than a year had passed since they last met. Perhaps because so much had happened in the world during that time, it seemed exceptionally long. This was the first time Qi Yi'an had experienced such a season with Qin Ruoshui.
When Qi Yi'an came out of get off work, she noticed that a light snow was falling from the pink sky—the first snow of the year. Just as she was about to head into the subway station, she received a message from Qin Ruoshui, so she quickly returned to the streetlight in the snow to wait for her. Whether it was from the cold or from being too excited, Qi Yi'an felt her muscles trembling and started jumping around under the streetlight.
After waiting a while, a black sedan stopped in front of her, the windshield rolled down… Qi Yi'an leaned down and looked inside, catching a glimpse of the woman's figure and momentarily unable to breathe… It must be because it was so cold… red lips… hair… the familiar scent of perfume…
"What are you standing there for? Hurry up and get in the car!" A woman's clear laughter rang out, urging her to get in.
“Hmm…” She got into the car in a daze.
Qin Ruoshui smiled, but didn't look at her; she just kept driving and focused on the road.
Qi Yi'an stared blankly at her profile without saying a word. This time it was on the right… She really came back to the country… she was really right beside him…
It was the little girl's sweet voice that broke her reverie, "Hello, Auntie!"
Qi Yi'an looked towards the back seat in the direction of the sound and saw a little girl smiling at her in a friendly manner.
"Hello~" Qi Yi'an replied with a smile, wondering who this little girl was. Qin Ruoshui simply smiled and remained silent.
How old are you?
"I'm 7 years old this year!"
"Oh my, you've grown so much!" Qi Yi'an appeared calm, but secretly calculated her age in his mind... Qin Ruoshui should be 34 years old in 2021. Good heavens, already 34... 34 minus 7... Could it be her child? Having a child at 27 is reasonable. Why hadn't she mentioned it before?! What's going on?
"What do you want to eat tonight?" Qin Ruoshui asked, but didn't introduce who the child was.
Then I'll ask her again later!
Throughout dinner, Qi Yi'an was quieter than usual, interacting slightly more with the little girl, but mostly just quietly observing Qin Ruoshui. Qin Ruoshui didn't have much time to talk to Qi Yi'an either, busy taking care of the little girl's food and drinks, playing and laughing with her. Qi Yi'an hadn't drunk much, yet her heart felt a little irregular, and her heart ached. She certainly had the air of a parent… This little girl was lively and adorable, and very sweet-looking, bearing a resemblance to her…
After dinner, Qin Ruoshui drove to a villa area. She quietly told Qi Yi'an to wait in the car for a moment, then got out, picked up the little girl, and prepared to walk towards a villa. "Come on, little gorilla, let's say goodbye to your sister, goodnight, okay?" "Goodnight~"
Although he used his acting skills to cover up his deep suspicions and said goodbye with a smile, when Qin Ruoshui returned to the car, Qi Yi'an felt that he could open a century-old vinegar shop in Zhenjiang.
Qin Ruoshui got into the car but didn't start it immediately. She turned and quietly looked at Qi Yi'an. The air between them was thick with an ambiguous silence. Qi Yi'an didn't speak either, looking out the window.
“You seem to have lost weight…” Qin Ruoshui spoke first.
"...Hmm"
"What's wrong today? ...Are you usually this quiet?"
That sounds so unfamiliar. She and Qin Ruoshui only happened to spend some time together; how much did they really know about each other? Qin Ruoshui didn't really understand her usual way of interacting with people, just like she didn't know Qin Ruoshui already had a child?
Qi Yi'an opened her mouth as if to ask, but gave up before uttering a sound. She was afraid that if she spoke, tears would fall. She didn't know why she felt so much like crying today.
Qin Ruoshui started the car. "What are you thinking about?"
Qi Yi'an took a deep breath and asked as calmly as possible, "You have a child?"
After a second or two of silence, Qin Ruoshui chuckled softly through her nose, "Do you care about this?"
Qi Yi'an realized that she probably had no right to care. She and Qin Ruoshui hadn't established any relationship; at most, they'd only been friends with benefits for a while. They were both free.
"Or are you jealous of the other kids?" Qin Ruoshui asked casually as she drove. "Hmm?"
"..." Ha, this woman is as shameless as ever. Qi Yi'an just wouldn't budge. "Where to?"
"go home."
"But you already took the child home, why are you still..." "That's my brother's child."
Huh? Qi Yi'an breathed a sigh of relief, but then suddenly felt incredibly ashamed of his behavior just now…
"So you still care about me. We haven't been in touch for over half a year. I thought you didn't care about anything and had long forgotten about me." There seemed to be a hint of resentment in her casual tone.
Aren't you the same way?
Qi Yi'an followed Qin Ruoshui out of the elevator and into an apartment.
As soon as she closed the door behind her, Qin Ruoshui turned around and hugged Qi Yi'an, pinning her firmly against the door. The sudden softness around her startled Qi Yi'an for a couple of seconds before she reacted, raising her arms to hug Qin Ruoshui back tightly.
She draped her coat over Qin Ruoshui's, comfortably closing her eyes and burying them in the woman's fragrant hair. Qin Ruoshui gently nuzzled her soft cheek and lightly kissed her neck. The room was pleasantly warm and cozy.
"...I miss you so much..."
"...Um...me too..."
Author's Note:
So busy!
Chapter 19 Long Time No See...
Long time no see…
"Come on, have a drink with me, okay?" Qin Ruoshui changed into her bathrobe and took a bottle of wine from the shelf. "I brought it back from Bordeaux several years ago. Luckily, I didn't leave it in E country but brought it back."
She spoke casually, but Qi Yi'an sensed a profound sense of dread, unease, and lingering fear within her words.
"How is country E doing now? How did you get back?"
"The tsunami hit in the early morning, but my home is in the West District, so I'm still okay for now. I didn't take much with me, and I took the embassy's evacuation charter flight back to China that night." Qin Ruoshui took a sip of her wine, then poured another glass and handed it to Qi Yi'an. "It's pretty good, you should try it."
"The scenes in the news are terrifying... there were riots, were planes bombed?"
Qin Ruoshui walked to the sofa and sat down, combing her hair back with her hand. She looked a little tired. "Yes... it was the plane that took off after us, the plane from country A."
Qi Yi'an put down his wine glass, silently nestled into the woman's arms, and held her tightly. He was terrified; what if he lost her…
"What's wrong?"
"...I'm worried about you..."
“…Little friend…” Qin Ruoshui silently took a large gulp of wine and spoke softly, “Life and death are predestined…In my opinion, my life, death, joys, and sorrows are all insignificant…”
Qi Yi'an silently held her in his arms.
"Am I really suited to cultivating immortality? Hahahahahahaha," Qin Ruoshui changed the subject, smiling as she lowered her head, lifted Qi Yi'an's chin, found her lips, and gave her a light kiss.
Qin Ruoshui seemed utterly unmoved by any emotion. Qi Yi'an once suspected that Qin Ruoshui might have a congenital physiological defect in her cerebral cortex or frontal lobe, but since she herself didn't seem to live a very real life, he decided not to criticize her.
"Don't go, don't leave me," Qi Yi'an murmured between her lips as he kissed her.
"I've never really felt a sense of reality about this world; sometimes I feel like the world in my dreams is more real than reality."... "So I've always lived my life without much of a sense of purpose..." "That's just how it is, taking it one day at a time..."
Qin Ruoshui seemed to have more reflections on life today. Qi Yi'an stayed with her, drinking and listening.
"Haha, let's not talk about that. How have you been these past few months? What have you been up to?" She poured Qi Yi'an some more wine.
Qin Ruoshui drank a lot of alcohol today.
These past few months have been a blur, filled with illnesses, and she's become an accomplice in a murder case, awaiting an uncertain future delayed by the pandemic. Like any young person in their early twenties, she feels lost and bewildered. Qi Yi'an took a large gulp of wine. The world feels so distant; life hasn't even truly begun.
Congratulations on graduating! Where are you going next?
Qi Yi'an remembered that he had talked to Qin Ruoshui about studying abroad before. "I was planning to go to R country or I country. I've already received the offer, but the pandemic is delaying my departure. I haven't decided on a school yet."
As expected, there was no E country... Qin Ruoshui lowered her eyes and drank, but her heart sank. This child still didn't give people any hope.
"I also applied to country E, but now the school has been flooded and destroyed..."
"Hmm..." That's true, that country is in a mess right now... Young people always have to make choices for their bright future.
"Where's my sister? Is she still in Country E?"
Qin Ruoshui gave a wry smile, her tone somewhat dejected, "Little friend... I'm not like you, it's so great to have so many possibilities. When you reach middle age and your career is stable, it's not like you can just go wherever you want..." "English-speaking countries might be okay, but in places like Japan, I don't even speak the language..."
Qi Yi'an sensed the melancholy in her voice, but didn't know what to say. This meant that things were ultimately hopeless for them...
Should she choose her future path for love? She had thought about it over the past few months. But her life wasn't a novel or a TV drama; she couldn't ignore the opportunity cost of reality for the sake of romance. Besides, was her relationship with Qin Ruoshui truly love? She was only twenty; how could she possibly discern the truth? Even if she went to Country E to find Qin Ruoshui, she would be in a terrible situation if their relationship changed later.
Love is merely a subjective feeling under the influence of hormones like oxytocin; it must give way to reason in the face of her life's development. Qi Yi'an is such a person. So is Qin Ruoshui.
Then they probably have no future...
The living room was dimly lit and quiet. Qin Ruoshui drank silently, one glass after another, at a leisurely pace. Qi Yi'an did the same. She rarely drank so much, but even after drinking so much, she didn't feel particularly drunk.
Seeing my long-lost lover today, the excitement of the reunion is still there, but there is more sadness than anything else; it still feels unreal.
She didn't know how long she'd been drinking, but Qin Ruoshui's eyes were becoming hazy. She put her arm around Qi Yi'an's shoulder, turned and kissed her hair, kissing it deeply and repeatedly. Qi Yi'an leaned on her shoulder and closed her eyes. Qin Ruoshui finished the last sip of her drink, then lowered her head and brought her lips to Qi Yi'an's mouth. The alcohol's stimulation was intense and lingering, just like the night they first met.
Following the wine came soft, agile lips and tongue. Qin Ruoshui was unusually aggressive today, invading every corner of her mouth. Qi Yi'an was overwhelmed with responses, resignedly letting her vent her desires, biting and nibbling, only gently soothing her lips and tongue in return. Her breathing grew heavier, and Qin Ruoshui could feel every breath of Qi Yi'an's, her rise and fall, and even the tiny downy hairs on her lips, gently tickling her heart. She wanted to kiss her, bite her, take her, take all of her.
Qi Yi'an was overwhelmed by the passionate kiss and couldn't breathe. She leaned back slightly, nose to nose, exhaling Qin Ruoshui's breath. Qin Ruoshui paused for two seconds, then pressed closer, unwilling to let her go. "I... um..." "I... miss you so much..." Qin Ruoshui was forced to stop and wait for her to finish. Qi Yi'an, panting, pressed her forehead against Qin Ruoshui's, her mouth directly feeding her words, "Every... every day I think about you..."
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