He didn't want to let her go, but seeing her resolute expression, he knew that if he didn't agree, she would definitely quit her job and go by herself. It would be better to let her go for half a year, and when things calmed down, she would naturally come back obediently.
He agreed and set off two weeks later.
For those two weeks, Shi Nan still went to and from get off work, but he was like a walking corpse. Every day he told himself a hundred times that he had brought this on himself. He knew from the beginning that this popular guy was no good, but he still fell for him.
Before leaving, his mother said, "Shi Nan, you're going to be gone for half a year, not half a month. There are a lot of things you need to buy and take with you. Why haven't I seen you making any preparations?"
Shi Nan smiled and said, "Okay, let's go buy it."
The mother suggested going to Huapu, which was closer to home, but Shi Nan shook his head and said, "Let's go to Carrefour. It's big and has everything."
How could she go to that Huapu? She never wanted to go again. She had bought several large bags of food and drink with him there, just so she could stay home without ever leaving the house. How ironic it seemed now that she had actually believed it was love.
No matter what she was asked, Shi Nan agreed to everything. In the end, his mother picked out a whole car full of cars and asked, "Are you going on a business trip or to meet your lover? You haven't even left yet, and your heart is already elsewhere."
Shi Nan smiled bitterly.
She really wanted to leave this place as soon as possible.
Shi Nan only notified Tang Beibei, Wang Fan, and others the day before he left, and they wanted to come and see him off, but Shi Nan said it wasn't necessary.
Shi's mother helped her pack clothes into her suitcase. Opening the closet, a piece of underwear fell out from somewhere. Shi Nan immediately became agitated again. Seeing her stunned expression, Shi's mother said, "What are you thinking about? I've never seen anyone like you. You're leaving tomorrow, and you're only starting to pack today."
“It’s nothing,” Shi Nan said, opening a drawer, taking out all the underwear, and handing it to her mother. “Just throw it all away.”
"What's wrong? They're all pretty new."
"The size doesn't fit anymore. There's no use keeping them, so I'm throwing them all away."
The next day at the airport, Cheng Bin also came and handed Shi Nan a business card. "This is an old friend of mine from the Netherlands-China Chamber of Commerce. If you encounter any problems or difficulties, go to him. I've already made arrangements."
Tang Beibei, Wang Fan, Zhang Miao, and a few others also came. They said half a year is no short time, so they should come and see her off. She went up and hugged Beibei. Apart from Shi Nan herself, no one knew that six months later, she still wouldn't be coming back.
Wang Fan brought Shi Nan a lot of commonly used medicines. Shi Nan's mother said, "This child is so thoughtful. Even I, as her mother, didn't remember to do this."
Shi Nan said the medicine might be difficult to bring into the country, but Wang Fan said it didn't matter, just throw it away if it was inspected, and take it with you.
Her eyes welled up with tears. She must have been crazy to give up the person who truly loved her for that heartless man.
After a long silence, she said to Wang Fan, "I will always remember you."
Wang Fan said, "Me too," in a suppressed voice.
Saying goodbye, security check, immigration, waiting for the flight, takeoff.
Before entering the clouds, Shi Nan looked at the increasingly blurry city outside the window and said, "Goodbye, Beijing."
A flight takes off every minute; every relationship involves back and forth.
How can the darkness of night be stopped when one person keeps giving to another in a relationship?
Recalling the good old days can lead to a renewed appreciation for happiness, but this requires wisdom.
Tell me what it means to be indifferent and forget about someone just by changing seats or getting a new cup of coffee.
I finished crying on a pillow that was soaked with tears.
Find the perfect place to forget your beauty
Please don't say goodbye in the language we know best.
Goodbye Yesterday
I will definitely learn it tomorrow.
The scenery changed completely in less than a minute, and I fell asleep before dawn.
A relationship cannot be built on constant giving; only time can brighten the darkness of the night.
How much do you gain from remembering someone? How much chance do you have of forgetting someone?
Tell me what it means to be indifferent: Taipei the day before, Taipei the next night, who will I remember?
------------------Zhang Xinzhe, "Goodbye Yesterday"
way out
Red-light districts, marijuana, homosexuality—for the vast majority of people who come to the Netherlands specifically for this purpose, their goal is definitely not self-cultivation.
But for Shi Nan, this was the perfect place. Although it was dull and monotonous, she could see it from a different perspective and think of it as a peaceful life. Besides, there were fields of tulips and windmills in the countryside, and even the birdsong she used to hate now sounded beautiful.
Shi Nan knew before he left that he wouldn't be staying here for just six months. Six months wouldn't be enough.
The most unforgettable places in Beijing: his home, her home, Houhai, Huapu, the stairwell of the Melody KTV near Chaoyangmen, and the walk home from there. She could deliberately avoid going to or passing through any of these places—except for her home.
In the two weeks before she left, she would vaguely see him standing there waiting for her every time she passed by the building entrance. How could she forget that time when she went downstairs and saw him looking exhausted, rushing back without even asking a question, all because of something she said? How could she believe that he was fake then?
But you can't deny it; the facts are right in front of you, aren't they?
Therefore, six months is definitely not enough.
Aside from studying and attending meetings, other colleagues spent their remaining time traveling. Shi Nan, however, was different; she was looking for a job. She went to Cheng Bin's friend in the chamber of commerce and obtained a list of all companies in the Netherlands that had trade cooperation with China. She wrote resumes and sent emails to companies of all sizes.
Finally, she received a reply from a company in Amsterdam, the capital city. Shi Nan took a day off to go for the interview. The result was good. Shi Nan truthfully explained her current situation to the company, and they thought highly of her and agreed that she could start working there immediately after resigning from her job at the light bulb company.
Looking at the time, it was only noon. Shi Nan looked for a restaurant to eat at and decided to take a look around the city center. There were many couples on the streets, but even more men were together; it truly lived up to its reputation as a gay paradise.
A couple walked towards her, and they were Asian. Shi Nan tried to move aside, but one of the couple deliberately moved closer to where she was hiding.
Shi Nan looked up and was startled to see that it was actually Chen Yue.
In the restaurant, Shen Yue and Shi Nan sat facing each other. His friend had returned to the hotel first.
"I've always wondered back then, with your great qualities, how come I've never seen you have a girlfriend?" Shi Nan smiled faintly; she hadn't truly smiled in a long time.
"I was wondering back then, how come such a good girl like you never had a proper boyfriend? I know that guy in your year wasn't your boyfriend at all." Shen Yue was referring to Ye Feng.
"Dharma Eye, Dharma Eye, back then everyone thought so. What, you came here specifically to experience Heaven?"
"Hehe, yes, come visit. We just went to Berlin, where there are over 300,000 gay people, not to mention a 'men's city'." Shen Yue was getting excited, but suddenly looked at Shi Nan as if remembering something, "You don't look down on that, do you?"
"No, no, no." Shi Nan shook his head and waved his hand, his voice suddenly becoming deep, "For me, loving anyone is love, as long as it is true love, it is precious."
Shen Yue noticed something was off about her and asked, "Did you break up with your boyfriend again?"
"What do you mean by 'again' heartbroken?"
He burst into laughter, "Shi Nan, you don't even remember? On the first day of the dance troupe's activities, you came to ask for leave, saying you were heartbroken and had no mood for anything."
Oh, right, that time was with Wang Fan. But the pain then is nothing compared to now; it's not even a real breakup. "Chen Yue, do you remember what you told me that day? Some feelings you have to forget, even a lifetime isn't enough?"
"Of course I remember." Shen Yue said seriously, lighting a cigarette.
Are you happy now?
"Happiness. But... when I think of him, there's still a huge hole in my heart."
What an apt metaphor, a gaping hole in the heart. Shi Nan smiled helplessly, “I didn’t feel anything when I listened to you back then, but now I’m tormented by every single word you say.”
Shen Yue fell silent, surrounded by swirling smoke. He vaguely heard her mutter to herself before she fell silent, "But I still believe that I will eventually quit smoking."
Half a year has passed in the blink of an eye.
Ms. Shi told Cheng Bin that she would not go back to work and that he could do whatever he wanted with her. She told him to calculate the amount of breach of contract penalty she should pay.
Cheng Bin sighed on the other end of the phone, "Shi Nan, Shi Nan, how can you be so willful? It's been half a year, and you still haven't cheered up? I really misjudged you."
Haven't you ever seen someone who's just broken up with their boyfriend?
"Shi Nan, you call that heartbreak? It was just a bed partner!"
Mr. Shi slammed the phone down.
Cheng Bin felt like he had gained nothing but trouble. He wasn't sure if answering Shi Nan's phone and pretending to be intimate with her directly caused their breakup, but he knew it definitely played a role. He had thought the benefit of doing so was that he could indirectly get Shi Nan, who was now single, soon, but he hadn't expected her to be so hurt: not only did she want to leave Beijing immediately, but even after six months, she still didn't want to come back.
It turned out that Cheng Bin had personally pushed her far away from him.
A few days later, Shi Nan received a call from him, "I went a bit too far last time, don't be angry."
"It's none of your business. I should have woken up a long time ago. You're right, I'm just a free virgin." Despite her self-deprecating tone, she spoke as if she were discussing gossip.
"Why does that sound like you're giving up on yourself? Shi Nan, let me tell you, don't do anything stupid over there."
"I won't punish myself for other people's immorality." She finally chuckled softly.
"I hope so," Cheng Bin said finally. "I've taken care of all the formalities for you, and I've waived the penalty for breach of contract. But there's one condition."
"Speak."
"If you ever return to China, you must come back to my place."
Shi Nan then busied himself looking for an apartment in Amsterdam. He didn't have time to look around much, so he hastily booked a two-bedroom apartment to share with a Dutch girl named Madeleine. Madeleine had no experience renting, let alone sharing, and while she initially thought it was fine, she gradually discovered problems.
Madeline is a very nice person, warm and cheerful. She's younger than Shi Nan and just started university; it's her first time living away from home. Shi Nan likes her quite a bit, the only problem being that she often brings her boyfriend home to stay overnight. They share a bathroom, and several times Shi Nan has bumped into her boyfriend while half-asleep in the middle of the night or early morning when he goes to the bathroom, and he actually smiles and says good morning and good night to her.
That night, as Shi Nan was falling asleep, she heard Madeline's intermittent moans. She knew what they were; she had made that sound before. Back then, he had said in a voice so sweet it sent shivers down her spine, "Shi Nan, why do you moan so beautifully?"
The next morning, Madeline had a rosy complexion. When she saw Shi Nan, she smiled at her and said, "Nan, don't you have a boyfriend?"
Shi Nan sat down with the soaked corn chips in his hand and said, "No."
Madeline gave a mysterious smile.
Over the weekend, she brought home a boy. Shi Nan thought he looked familiar, but couldn't remember where he had seen him before.
Madeline said, "Nan, this is my brother, Heeta." No wonder, he looks like her.
Shi Nan and Xita shook hands and greeted each other. Xita was three years older than Madeleine but one year younger than Shi Nan. She had just graduated and, instead of looking for a job, was doing community service for a year. The Netherlands is known for its tall people, and he was no exception, with short, flaxen hair, a typical Scandinavian-style face with deep features, and blue eyes.
The phone rang; it was Madeline's boyfriend. She hung up after a few words, saying, "I'm going out. You and Nan can continue your conversation. Nan is an excellent cook; you must have him cook for you." With that, she dashed out the door like a whirlwind.