God is powerful, but in many ways, God is just as weak as man.
Chen Xiao, even later on, I often couldn't help but wonder whether what I did was right or wrong. I wanted you to have absolute freedom, to become a being standing in the sky, a being that could control all the rules.
But in the end, I increasingly felt that even so, what difference did it make? We can't even control our own hearts.
JOKER leaned against the door, his eyes calm, looking at Chen Xiao and the woman on the bed: "After I saved her, she was heartbroken and later she attempted suicide several times."
I went from anger, disappointment, frustration, to sadness, to finally peace.
Do you know what's the most ridiculous thing?
When your mother committed suicide for the third time, I wasn't even sad or upset anymore.
Because I finally realized that no matter how she dies, when she dies, or how she dies, I can easily resurrect her, as long as I want. For her, it's just like waking her up after she's fallen asleep.
There was no more separation of life and death, no more sorrow; in fact, what should have been a poignant and beautiful event ended up feeling somewhat absurd.
When death becomes as childish as playing house in my hands, what in this world is still worth my attention? If I've even transcended death, then what in this world is still worth looking forward to?
I suddenly realized that I had lost something important again—happiness.
When everything is within reach—no, I don't even need to use my hands, I can accomplish anything with just a thought.
I can control time, I can control matter, I can live forever, I can even stay young forever, and I can even change my body at will to make myself young and handsome.
I used to feel sorry for Lao Tian. His tragedy was that he lived too long, and as a result, his relatives died one by one before him.
But I started thinking that I wouldn't suffer such a tragedy.
Because, with the ability to control all matter, I can make the people around me live as long as I do, if I so choose! As long as I use my ability to control matter to cleanse or maintain the structure of their bodies every now and then, theoretically, I can keep their bodies young and healthy forever.
In this way, there will be no more sorrow of separation by life and death.
But I soon realized that... without sadness, there would be no such thing as happiness.
Everything is relative. Because of the sadness of separation, people can appreciate the joy of being together by comparing it to sadness. Without sadness and comparison, happiness would not exist.
When most things can be easily satisfied, you will be surprised to find that something important has left you: desire!
Yes, isn't it ridiculous?
Gradually, I lost even my desires.
I became almost devoid of desire, feeling neither sadness nor joy, and then later I realized... that... even God is nothing more than this.
JOKER sighed: "Unfortunately, I didn't believe your mother's words at all back then. Now that I do believe them, I can't change her heart or mine."
He slowly walked to Chen Xiao's side and looked at Chen Xiao's profile: "Your mother attempted suicide three times, and I saved her each time. But the more I tried to keep her from dying, the less she wanted to live. The more I tried to keep her, the more she wanted to leave me!"
Later, I came up with a solution: I sent someone to secretly monitor you and tell her news about you every now and then. It seemed that only this could give her some peace of mind.
But soon, your mother didn't even want to know anything about you anymore.
Seeing Chen Xiao's bewildered expression, JOKER waved his hand: "No, it's not that she doesn't care about you anymore, but that she can't bear to continue listening to those messages. She knows very well that I'm going to mold you into a 'god,' a god just like me, and your mother thinks that will be a misfortune."
Therefore, she was unwilling to witness me leading you step by step onto the path to godhood, but unfortunately, she couldn't stop me; she had no power to stop me. So, she could only choose not to continue watching.
I remember when she last attempted suicide, she said to me, 'Please don't wake me up again.'
Haha, when she said that, it was as if we weren't talking about her death, but about taking a nap or something like that.
She was furious, finding me terrifying. Because in my presence, she felt she had no right to die. She wanted to escape me, but even death couldn't get her away. Wasn't that a terrifying thing? So, in the end, she could only beg me not to disturb her anymore, to let her 'sleep' peacefully.
"You... agreed to her request?" Chen Xiao slightly raised his eyelids.
“Yes, I promised her.” JOKER nodded, his eyes devoid of any sadness. “I’ll leave her here. I’ll come to see her every day and help ‘maintain’ her body. You see, for a god, it’s that simple. No need for any crystal coffin or any scientific preservation methods. I can easily keep her body from decaying forever. Even if it does decay, it doesn’t matter; I can restore her.”
Please forgive me for not being able to show my sadness, because I know very well that I can wake her up anytime I want, and at worst, I can make her hate me even more. If I want, she can never leave me; death cannot be escaped.
Thinking about it carefully, this is indeed a terrible thing...
It's often said that when someone rejects another person, they might say something like, "I'd rather die than refuse you."
But what if you can't even die?
“If you want to wake her up, you can do it.” JOKER smiled faintly. “But I’m reminding you, your mother doesn’t want you to do it. She said she doesn’t want to see you become a ‘monster’ like me, but now you are.”
“I’m not like you.” Chen Xiao shook his head.
"Are you sure?" JOKER's tone was indifferent: "How long have you been a 'god'? Eighteen minutes? But I've been a god for a full eighteen years. Believe me, it won't be long before you find that you start to lose desires, lose happiness, you will become without desires, and then gradually lose interest in everything, eventually becoming much like I am now."
Chapter 299 [Save Me]
"Can anyone tell me where this place is?"
Looking at the scene before her, Zhang Xiaotao took a deep breath.
Before me stretched the vast ocean, its turquoise waters seemingly endless. The sky was a clear blue with white clouds, and a gentle sea breeze carried a salty scent. Under the sunlight, the sand shimmered with a silvery-white light.
Several young men and women stared blankly at the scene before them, stunned.
Just now, after getting out of that cage, Bai Cai finally opened the "biological chamber." Several young people walked out of it, crossed a not-too-long corridor, went through a door, and arrived at this beach.
Moreover, it's quite obvious... this is a small island!
A small island in the vast ocean!
Behind the young men was a cave, from which they had just come out.