Geisterreich

Kapitel 26

His words were always so strange, as if he were meeting me for the first time. For some reason, seeing him suddenly lessened my longing for him. Remembering what happened yesterday, I gratefully said, "Thank you for yesterday."

“You’re welcome,” he said as he walked in, gazing at me. “You seem to be feeling much better.”

"Yes, I had an IV drip this morning, and my fever has gone down a bit."

He was smiling and about to say something when, as if suddenly remembering something, his face was filled with intense joy. He grabbed my arm abruptly: "You just said thank you to me?"

“Yes,” I nodded, shaking off his hand, “If it weren’t for you yesterday, I really wouldn’t have had the strength to go upstairs.”

“You mean yesterday?” He looked at me with ecstatic joy. “Then do you know who I am?” His eyes gleamed with eager anticipation, his face taut with tension. Seeing this expression, I felt a little scared and took a step back. “You’re my neighbor in the building across the street—you told me that yesterday.” I suddenly remembered that this man was still a stranger; I didn’t even know his name. How could I have let him in so easily? I glanced behind him—through the open door, I could see the dark stairwell of No. 6 Yunsheng Street. Even in daylight, no one else could be seen here. I became increasingly wary, thinking that I didn’t have anything valuable; at worst, I could just hand over my recent paycheck…

Hearing my words, his face relaxed in disappointment, and he turned his head away to hide his expression. Something gleamed in his eyes vanished, and he seemed to dim considerably. This disappointment didn't last long, quickly replaced by another expression. He raised an eyebrow slightly, as if he had thought of something, and suddenly turned to stare directly at me, his eyes filled with immense sorrow and fear. This fear directly affected me; I suddenly felt my hair stand on end, as if something extremely terrible had already happened.

"How could you remember?" he murmured, a mournful cry. "Why have you become like this too?"

I looked at him, bewildered. His words were like a match falling into a powder keg, igniting something that had been dormant in my mind for a long time. My head throbbed with pain from some explosive discovery, so much so that my whole body shook from the pain.

"You have a headache?" He quickly helped me sit on the sofa, his voice suddenly filled with joy again. "You have a headache? Yes, you have a headache," he even burst into laughter. "That's great, that's great, I see!"

I stared at him speechlessly, not understanding why he was so happy. Now, I just wanted to get far away from him. Some things that had just occurred to me made me realize that he was more of a stranger to me than a stranger.

"How come I didn't think of that?" He looked at me with relief. "Great, it was just a headache."

"What are you?" I didn't even expect to ask that question. As soon as the words left my mouth, I quickly covered my mouth. What? A headache is great! Are they always in the habit of giving people headaches? Yes, that must be it, just like Meng Ling gave Ouyang a headache.

My words startled him. He seemed not to understand, and as if he wanted to say something, he glanced to the side, saw something, and froze again.

This time, genuine despair and fear were simultaneously displayed on his face. This emotion was so intense that it overshadowed his entire body, to the point that his physical form seemed unimportant; what mattered was the heavy emotion bearing his body. Seeing his expression, I wondered if he was about to be crushed by the weight of that fear. As for myself, I was indeed about to be crushed by fear—a stranger suddenly entering the house was already somewhat alarming; but this stranger, being even more unfamiliar than an ordinary stranger, was enough to instill fear. Moreover, this stranger in a double sense was experiencing such drastic emotional shifts, making me feel like I was sitting on a powder keg, not knowing when he would explode… “Could you please leave? I want to rest,” I said softly.

He seemed not to hear me, his eyes fixed on my suitcase by the door, and asked incredulously, "Why are you packing your suitcase?"

"This is none of your business, I really want to rest." I secretly took out my phone to call the police.

"Are you homesick?" he asked. "Have you suddenly developed a strong longing for all the people you know, and feel that you absolutely must go back to see them?"

“Yes, you should leave!” He was right. Of course, he knew everything all along, so he knew how I would feel, didn't he? I became even more frightened. He noticed my fearful expression, paused, and gave a bitter smile. “Don't be afraid, I'll leave now.” He got up and walked towards the door, and I followed behind him to close it. Once outside, he turned around, as if he had something to say. I waited a moment, but he only looked at me with pity. Seeing that I was about to close the door, he finally spoke: “Jiang Ling, did you see some people you shouldn't have seen?”

I gripped the doorknob tightly, hesitated for a moment, and then nodded.

Actually, this was a great opportunity. I could have found out the truth at that moment, but I was so scared, and he was also devastated by what he had discovered. Neither of us wanted to say anything more. He looked at me, exhausted, opened his mouth as if to say something, but ultimately said nothing, turned around, and went downstairs.

I watched him slowly walk downstairs, hesitating whether to ask him those questions. Suddenly, he turned back and said seriously, "Jiang Ling, you probably don't know what happened. I'll let you know, but," he thought for a moment and added, "I need to think it over carefully before I say anything. Just remember one thing: never stay alone, and under no circumstances leave Nancheng. Remember my words!" After saying that, as if to avoid something, he quickly ran downstairs.

Why shouldn't you stay alone? Is it dangerous?

Why can't we leave Nancheng?

I didn't understand what he meant, and for no reason, I shivered and quickly closed the door.

I breathed a long sigh of relief.

28

The sudden surge of intense longing vanished just as quickly with the arrival of this stranger. I knew I had discovered something crucial: why Meng Ling had left so many traces in our room.

The reason she left so many traces in this room wasn't because she had been here before, but because she had always lived here, in the third guest room, and she had always lived with us. I had vaguely known this when we were eating congee with preserved egg and lean pork at the small restaurant, but at that time, the somewhat abnormally intense longing made me oblivious to all that. It wasn't until what the stranger said just now that I became certain of it.

As I sat in the small restaurant, after a short while when my headache subsided, I recalled what had happened at the book rental store yesterday and realized it didn't seem like a scam. Going to the pharmacy next to the book rental store was purely accidental; I hadn't even known beforehand that I was going there. As for walking into the book rental store, that was even more accidental. How could the book rental store owner have orchestrated such a scam in the short time I casually strolled in?

Besides, the man in black was already there before I went in.

When the girl sitting across from me ordered congee with preserved egg and lean pork countless times, and the owner and his wife forgot about it countless times, I became even more certain that this was not a scam—for the reasons that Xu Xiaobing and I had discussed, it was impossible for so many people to be involved in the same scam.

The girl sitting across from me deliberately poured chili water on the restaurant owner and his wife. After she disappeared from their sight, they had no recollection of what happened—it was at that moment that it dawned on me. If it weren't for my mother's phone call, I probably would have grabbed the girl and demanded an explanation. The owner and his wife's reaction reminded me of Xu Xiaobing's and my own reactions to Meng Ling's things—both were exactly the same. We had no idea where certain traces came from. And now I understood. Like the girl in the restaurant, the traces Meng Ling left behind were simply forgotten—perhaps like that girl, she was always right in front of us, using the bathroom right in front of us, rinsing her mouth right in front of us, cutting her hand on a nail on the sofa right in front of me… Because she, like that girl, possessed the quality of being forgotten in an instant, we also forgot the person who left these traces in the blink of an eye, only seeing the traces themselves, which is why it felt strange.

So it seems my earlier deduction about Meng Ling wasn't wrong. She, that girl, and the stranger who just left are all the same person—wasn't that stranger surprised I recognized him? He introduced himself as soon as he entered, probably thinking I'd forgotten him in the blink of an eye, right? The sequence of events Xu Xiaobing and I envisioned was: unknown—signs of existence revealed—seen by some—evidence of existence revealed—recognized by some. Now it seems the so-called "signs of existence revealed" actually means they've evolved—I don't know the most appropriate word—they've evolved to the point where they can be seen, just not yet remembered for long. That's why the stranger was so overjoyed that I remembered him; it meant he'd reached a stage of evolution—wasn't the man in black at the rental bookstore just as surprised when I could see him? Perhaps the more people see them, the more thoroughly they've evolved…

I've never understood why I suddenly gained the ability to see them. Fortunately, the stranger mentioned my headache, which reminded me. This ability appeared after the headache, and Ouyang also experienced severe headaches after contact with Meng Ling. He went to the hospital for a checkup, and the doctor said he had abnormal electrical activity in his head. I suspect this abnormal activity was caused by Meng Ling, and my headache might also be caused by Meng Ling, or perhaps by Gu Quan, who is hiding in our company—in short, the consequence of the headache is that I can see people others can't. I wonder if Ouyang can see them too? Ouyang gets a headache just from mentioning Meng Ling's name, so will I also get a severe headache when I mention someone else's name? Is the special reaction of the people in the office to Li Yuntong's name for the same reason?

Thinking about this, I couldn't wait to call Ouyang. Although there were still many questions in my previous assumptions, after seeing several special people with my own eyes, I finally became convinced that no matter how strange my assumptions were, they couldn't be stranger than the facts.

Perhaps the truth is even more astonishing than I could have imagined.

When I was little, reading stories about fairies turning into humans, I always sided with the fairies, thinking that since they had become human, they should be treated as our own. But now, something similar has happened, and I realize that it's hard to change people's ingrained beliefs. Just thinking about how Meng Ling used to live in this house with us sends chills down my spine. Even so, thinking about it carefully, so far, despite all the strange things that have happened, no one has been harmed—except for Ouyang's headaches—so if their evolution doesn't affect normal people's lives, then it seems there's no need to stop it, nor is there any need to be so afraid.

There's no need to be afraid, yet I'm still afraid; it's something I can't control.

I took out my phone, ready to call Ouyang, but the phone rang. I looked at the number and saw that it was Ouyang calling.

"Hello?" I answered the phone and then remembered that I had lost my temper with him yesterday and cried so much. Now that I think about it, I feel extremely ashamed. Even though it was over the phone, my face turned red.

"What happened to you yesterday?" Sure enough, that was the first question he asked. "Why was your phone off? I called you this morning, but the signal was still off. What's wrong?"

I didn't know how to answer, so I stammered a couple of times and then simply stopped answering, changing the subject by asking, "Has Li Yuntong come back?"

"Li Yuntong?" Ouyang asked in confusion, "Who is Li Yuntong? Are you alright?"

"I asked you if Li Yuntong has come back!" I thought he hadn't heard me clearly, so I raised my voice and repeated myself.

However, he still didn't understand: "Who is Li Yuntong? Jiang Ling, why have you been talking so strangely these past few days? What happened?"

I suddenly realized what had happened, and my heart sank to the bottom. I started trembling uncontrollably, and my phone almost fell to the ground.

"You really don't know Li Yuntong?" I asked.

"Really, why would I lie to you? What's wrong with you?"

"Where are you?"

"office."

"Ask Aunt Xu to answer the phone." Ouyang didn't understand why I wanted to talk to Aunt Xu, so I didn't explain much, just asked him to hand over the phone. I wiped the sweat from my forehead, and as Ouyang handed the phone to Aunt Xu, I felt dizzy and secretly prayed that only Ouyang had forgotten Li Yuntong.

"Hello? Jiang Ling?" Aunt Xu's voice rang out.

"Aunt Xu, has Li Yuntong returned yet?" I asked impatiently.

"Who is Li Yuntong?" Aunt Xu asked curiously. Ouyang, who was standing nearby, said, "She just asked me the same thing. Does anyone know who Li Yuntong is?"

I couldn't say another word, so I hung up the phone and let it ring incessantly.

I felt as if something had pierced my heart, leaving a cold, empty hole, so cold and desolate that it was beyond repair. It felt as if I myself would be swallowed by this hole. Everything around me seemed to be spinning, even the bed seemed to be bobbing on waves. Nothing was still, and I wondered if I was going to go crazy any second.

They had actually forgotten about Li Yuntong.

Just like the girl in the restaurant, Li Yuntong was so easily forgotten.

Is this related to Meng Ling and the others?

I only thought of these few questions before I couldn't think any further. If I continued, I might really go crazy; I feel like I've lost sight of what reality truly is.

I lay there for a while longer, then changed out of my clothes, which were soaked with cold sweat—I'd worked up a sweat, my legs were weak, but the fever had completely subsided. I rushed out the door, not waiting for the bus, and took a taxi straight to the company. My phone kept ringing the whole way, all calls from Ouyang, the shrill, jarring ringtone feeling like a needle pricking my temples. The car windows were tightly closed, and the interior reeked of a stuffy, unpleasant odor. I turned off my phone, opened the window, and a blast of cold air rushed in, making me feel much better.

As soon as I entered the company, Ouyang saw me. He hurried over and whispered, "What's wrong with you?"

"Doesn't anyone in the company know Li Yuntong?" I asked in a low voice.

“I don’t know anyone, I’ve already asked around,” he said. “Who is he? Do you need to see him urgently?” He looked at me with concern, watching my every move. I looked over his shoulder into the office—and as I expected, Li Yuntong’s desk was gone.

“Where’s that desk?” I asked hoarsely, pointing to where his desk used to be. Ouyang turned around and looked at me in surprise, his eyes filled with worry like dark clouds. He grabbed my arm: “There was never a desk there—Jiang Ling, you’re having problems,” he hesitated for a moment, then said through gritted teeth, “Your headache might be affecting your brain, you’re talking nonsense.”

Perhaps he's right, I nodded. I truly don't know if the problem lies with my own mind or with reality. The mind is a sensitive and fragile thing; it's easily damaged, even a high fever could ruin it. And how do we perceive the world? Everything we know about the world—what we see, hear, and feel—is perceived through our minds. If something is truly wrong with our minds, how should we view the world? For an individual, how vast is the difference between the world created by the mind and the world that actually exists? Which world is truly real?

I can't go against my own mind, even if it's wrong. I can only obey it because it is me, and I am it. If I don't listen to it, I'm just an empty shell. I couldn't explain to Ouyang what had happened. I gently pushed him away and walked to where Li Yuntong used to put his desk. There was still a rectangular mark there, left from the long time the desk had been there.

"If there's no desk here, then what is this?" I asked Ouyang, pointing to the mark. Ouyang came up to look at it and shook his head: "It's probably caused by dampness. Jiang Ling, let's go to the hospital..."

I shook off his hand.

Our entanglement had already attracted the attention of other colleagues. Several people greeted me and asked if my cold was better. I gave them a perfunctory reply, avoided Aunt Xu who came up to talk to me, and walked up to Wei Feng to ask him for the key to the archives. He looked at Ouyang, who nodded slightly to him, and then he handed me the key.

As soon as I entered the archives, I knew I didn't need to look at them anymore.

The archives weren't much different from what I'd seen the day before yesterday, except there were noticeably fewer documents. I didn't even need to look to know that the missing documents must be related to Li Yuntong.

I felt myself laugh, but I didn't know why I was laughing. Actually, I wanted to cry, but I laughed instead. It was so strange.

I continued searching for any trace of Li Yuntong in the company, but there was nothing left. His folder on the computer had disappeared, the company's address book—the old address book was gone—and a new address book without Li Yuntong's name appeared on everyone's desk. Even the orchid he had brought and kept at the company entrance was gone.

It seems as if Li Yuntong doesn't actually exist.

This situation is so similar to, yet so different from, what Xu Xiaobing discovered about Meng Ling at the company. Both are unremembered, but the difference is that Meng Ling left many traces of her existence at the company. How ridiculous—a person who was alive just two days ago now seems as if she never existed, vanishing more completely than death; while a woman who never existed, all the evidence points to her existence, and perhaps now more people believe she always did? One gradually disappears, the other gradually reappears. A terrifying connection arises within me: Li Yuntong's disappearance and Meng Ling's reappearance are inevitably linked.

Perhaps, the disappearance of one and the appearance of another are one-to-one correspondences. There are only so many places in this world. When someone comes in, someone must leave. Meng Ling was not the only one who came in, so Li Yuntong was certainly not the only one who left.

The only remaining trace of his pen is on the wall, a long line with a slight curve at the end. He accidentally drew it a few days ago when we were discussing the plan, and now it is the only trace he left here. This trace does not prove that it was left by a guy named Li Yuntong.

All evidence of its existence has vanished completely. So what about Li Yuntong himself? Has he also disappeared from this world? I couldn't help but shudder—how can a person disappear so completely?

As I frantically searched for Li Yuntong, my colleagues kept giving me strange looks, their eyes filled with worry. Ouyang followed me for a while, then finally couldn't help but pull me back, saying sternly, "Jiang Ling, you're sick, really. Come to the hospital with me." I had never seen him look like that before—tension, anxiety, worry, fear… all sorts of emotions were mixed in his eyes, making the usually cheerful man appear somewhat gloomy. He didn't allow me to argue, pulling me towards the door. I struggled a couple of times, then let him drag me out of the company. Aunt Xu called out from behind, "Ouyang, take her to get a proper checkup, make sure it's thorough!" I couldn't help but smile bitterly.

Ouyang pursed her lips and dragged me to the elevator, still refusing to let go. Before the elevator arrived, I said, "Ouyang, let go of my hand, I'll go to the hospital with you."

He looked at me with concern.

I really intended to go to the hospital with him. After what happened, I didn't even know what the truth was anymore. Ouyang observed me for a while longer before carefully letting go of my hand. He sighed, shook his head at me, seemed about to say something, but stopped himself. After thinking for a moment, he forced a smile: "Don't be afraid, I'm here."

I nodded.

“No matter what happens, don’t keep it to yourself,” he continued. “These past two days, your eyes have been much more profound than before. This isn’t like you. It’s better if you’re the way you used to be.”

"Hmm." I nodded. Several times I wanted to tell him what had happened, but I never dared to speak. I didn't want Ouyang to see me as mentally ill; if I told him what had happened, he would definitely think I was completely insane.

I desperately want to prove that Li Yuntong actually existed. I desperately want someone to tell me that none of this is a hallucination, that I am not insane!

"Go check on his wife." A voice suddenly rang in my ear, startling me. I turned around and saw a thin, dark-skinned man standing beside Ouyang and me, his face somewhat familiar. Just as I was about to speak to him, he put a finger to his lips and pointed at Ouyang. I suddenly remembered—this was Gu Quan; I'd seen him in Li Yuntong's DV footage. I glanced at Ouyang; his eyes were fixed on the small light above the elevator door, completely unaware of Gu Quan's presence.

“Don’t talk to me,” Gu Quan smiled sympathetically. “I don’t know Li Yuntong’s situation either. I told him the whole story, and he decided to leave his family. You can go to his house and ask. Maybe it’s not too late.” He gave me an address, and I quickly took out my notebook and wrote it down.

"What are you doing?" Ouyang asked.

The elevator arrived, and we stepped inside. Gu Quan didn't follow. He waved to me, then turned and left. I kept thinking about what he had just said, but I didn't understand what it meant.

Why did Li Yuntong leave his family?

As the elevator slowly descended, I mustered my courage and whispered, "Ouyang, I'm perfectly clear-headed." He turned to look at me, and I handed him my notebook. "Look, this is Li Yuntong's home address. Come with me to his house and you'll understand."

Ouyang looked at me intently. Before he spoke, I felt as if my heart wasn't beating on its own, but rather as if some external hand was gripping it, opening and closing. Once that hand stopped moving, my heart would stop beating too.

“Okay,” he smiled slightly and nodded, “but you have to promise to listen to me.”

That hand released my heart, and it began to beat freely. I breathed a sigh of relief and nodded vigorously.