Talent is a really hard thing to explain; I think it mainly depends on the master's mood at the time. Didn't Huo Yuanjia, You Tanzhi, and Xiao Qiang all say they lacked talent? But in reality, the three of us together were practically invincible; I wouldn't even need to lift a finger…
So I told Tiger to go about his business tomorrow, and I'll take some people to take a look. Because I only realized later that I didn't really want to learn any kind of Sanda from him, I just wanted to ask about the rules and learn like his apprentices.
I got up around 9 a.m. and as soon as I stepped out of my bedroom, I saw Xiang Yu, dressed neatly, standing straight in front of the window. He had his hands on the windowsill, looking into the distance, like a general taking a short rest before a great battle.
I asked cautiously, "Brother Yu, what time do we eat?"
Xiang Yu looked outside and said, "I don't know, it could be noon or it could be evening."
"...Are you just going to stand there like that?"
Xiang Yu remained silent. At this moment, Li Shishi walked over, nodded slightly to me, indicating that she would take care of Xiang Yu.
I drove my minivan to school, and you could see my UN flag from afar. Speaking of this competition, I only learned later that it was an unprecedented martial arts event in China. As for why the competition was held in such a small place as ours, it perfectly illustrates the saying: "When the snipe and the clam fight, the fisherman benefits." The main contenders for the hosting rights were Beijing and Shanghai. From the government to the martial arts association and various related departments, both cities spared no effort in using all their connections and channels to secure the rights. In the stalemate, Shanghai compromised first, stating that the venue didn't have to be in Shanghai, but with one condition: it had to be moved to Nanjing. Beijing wasn't stupid either; after Shanghai played the harmony card, they also stated that the venue didn't have to be in Beijing, but it had to be within Hebei Province, such as the Tongzhou-Zhoukoudian area.
And so, dragged along by the two giants, major cities were exposed one after another. In the end, among all the cities qualified and capable of hosting the event, one pitiful little place was revealed—with no connections whatsoever, a meager background, and a truly pathetic sight. To avoid offending anyone, the organizing committee simply decided to designate that city as the host city…
Look at my UN flag. While Sun Sixin's foresight is undeniable, it's still quite ironic that a school would display such a flag. After all, we don't teach how to bite ears here; we're still a long way from being truly international. Many of the schools participating in the competition, on the other hand, supposedly have histories spanning over a hundred years, their principals and directors having fought against the Eight-Nation Alliance with swords. Others are descended from the Boxer Rebellion, whose ancestors, before each operation, would print Sun Wukong's Peking Opera mask on their bodies, shouting, "Heavenly spirits, earthly spirits, Great Sage Brother, manifest your divine power to protect my true form!" Then the Pigsy (Zhu Bajie) would set off to destroy churches. This tradition continues to this day, with many martial arts school flags featuring Sun Wukong in Peking Opera masks, a blend of elements from the cartoon "Havoc in Heaven" and YooHee Monkey...
What I mean is that our school has such a short history that we don't even have our own school flag. We need one; it should have a circle to represent the world, water to represent vastness, and symbols of violence like swords and spears. Thinking this, I drove into the school. I had to open the gate myself; it seems I still need an old gatekeeper.
This is my first time here since the school was completed. I went to the lecture hall on the first floor of the teaching building and found 300. Yan Jingsheng is really good. He is teaching 300 a class on "Physiology and Hygiene".
"Students, it's a normal physiological process to develop a strong interest in the opposite sex as you get older. Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of, don't feel guilty, and your teacher also..."
The students below all blushed and listened with their heads down, probably because they didn't understand anything. Only Xu Delong looked up, pretending to listen attentively. I waved to him, and he immediately sneaked out. Yan Jingsheng had just said "don't overdo it," because the lecture hall was so large, he couldn't see what was happening below at all.
I stood at the classroom door and suddenly realized that not all 300 students were there; only about 250 were currently seated. I asked Xu Delong, "Where are the others?"
Xu Delong said, "Starting yesterday, we're giving 50 people a day off each day on a rotating basis."
What to do on holiday?
"……Play."
I said, puzzled, "Play?" It felt awkward coming from the mouth of 300 warriors. They had no money and no experience, what could they possibly do outside?
Seeing Xu Delong's strange expression, I didn't press him further. From the very first day they arrived, they seemed to be hiding something. While they weren't exactly estranged from me, they certainly weren't telling the truth. At that moment, Yan Jingsheng said from the podium, "Li Xiaomao, you answer this: what is semen primarily composed of?"
Li Xiaomao stood up and said, "Protein and water."
Yan Jingsheng nodded in satisfaction and said, "Yes, learning some physiological knowledge is very useful for you athletes, because you will likely become coaches in the future, and then you will also have an obligation to tell your students..."
Telling students not to masturbate excessively and about the composition of semen? I admire Yan Jingsheng for being able to name 300 people; in that respect, I am far inferior to him.
I told Xu Delong about the competition, and I thought he would lend me a maximum of five people, since he only gave me two last time we fought. Unexpectedly, he readily said, "Just let me know what you need us for, and I can lend you 300 people."
I said, "Can't you guys rehearse a proper program for the performance? No, not a big chorus!"
I want to win a prize in the exhibition match because Lao Zhang said it's not important. My current principle is: whatever Lao Zhang says is unimportant, I will do my best to achieve it; the more Lao Zhang says he's determined to win, the more cautious I must be. I need to give him an explanation, and I also need to be careful not to get myself into trouble.
Xu Delong said, "It's not a big problem. We can perform the stick-strap technique together."
I said, "Send two men with me right now."
Xu Delong crouched down and ran inside, calling out Wei Tiezhu and Li Jingshui. These two were very familiar with following me on missions and were very friendly when they saw me.
Then I went to the dormitory building. The bandits' quarters were completely disorderly. I pushed open several doors, and the people there were all different from the ones I'd seen last time; they'd probably regrouped. The corridors were full of slovenly men, shirtless and with towels draped over their shoulders. When I was a kid, the 108 heroes in those picture cards were so majestic, each with gleaming armor, little flags on their backs, and longhorn beetle braids on their hats. Looking at these people now, printed on playing cards, they'd be a Liangshan version of "The Happy Life of Zhang Damin."
I went to see Li Bai first. The old man sat at a small table, his hair disheveled. He'd broken a fountain pen, tied some hair to the end, and was using it as a brush. On the table were wine bowls and a huge pile of books. I picked up a few at random: *Iliyat*, *Shakespeare's Four Great Tragedies*, *A Collection of Fine Modern Chinese Poetry*, and *Air Hostess*. Seeing this, I was already sweating. Who gave me this reading list? Then I picked up another book: *Zhu Xian*! Wiping my sweat, I picked up another: *Love Across Time*!
I shook Li Bai, whose face was flushed, vigorously: "Brother Taibai, can you understand all these books?"
Li Bai, his eyes blurry with drunkenness, glanced up at me and suddenly proclaimed in a clear voice: "The Achaeans, with their sturdy shanks, wave their hands gently, shy and delicate in the cool breeze; to live or to die, this is the mid-stage of Shi Wuji's Great Dao..."
I was instantly devastated. Had I ruined such a brilliant poet? I threw all his books under the bed and tried to grab a wet towel to wake him up. Li Bai reached out to retrieve his books, but halfway through, he uttered, "Existentialism is a kind of humanism," and then fell asleep on the table.
I wiped my face with a damp towel and ran into Hu Sanniang as soon as I stepped outside. She was idly clapping her fists together, and I instinctively jumped back a good ten feet—this woman's pinches really hurt, and the top of your head after she pinches you looks like a ring of lava from a volcano. Li Jingshui and Wei Tiezhu didn't seem to care about protecting me; they were just watching with grins, apparently quite familiar with the Liangshan people.
Because of the heat, Hu Sanniang approached me with ill intent, clenching her fists as she asked, "What are you doing here?"
I asked cautiously, "Which room does Brother Junyi live in?"
"101. What do you want with him?"
I took a few steps back and then ran. Hu Sanniang exclaimed "Eh!" and chased after me. I stumbled and fell into the 101 building, grabbed Lu Junyi, who was wearing a white vest, and cried out, "Brother, save me!"
At this moment, Hu Sanniang, having run too fast and overtaken the pursuer, drifted in, grabbed the door frame, and followed her in with a smile and a clenched fist.
Lu Junyi was drinking tea when he raised his teacup and shouted, "Stop fooling around, stop fooling around, it'll burn you!"
...
After I explained my purpose, Lu Junyi asked, "Are you looking for a few people from here to participate in the martial arts competition?"
I nodded.
"Then who do you think would be more suitable?"
I said, "The problem now is that we don't know the rules of the competition yet, so I want to find a few bright brothers to familiarize themselves with the rules. Otherwise, it would be bad if we had a lot of skills but were punished for breaking the rules."
Lu Junyi asked, "How many people do you need?"
I said, "There are still four people sitting in the car."
Lu Junyi walked into the corridor and called out, "Who's here?"
In an instant, the heroes filled the corridor, asking, "What's wrong?"