The selection of participants cannot be finalized in a short time; I still need to consult with 300. The competition organizing committee stipulates that all units must submit their list of participants one week before the competition.
As I walked towards the teaching building across the playground, I saw Class 300 forming a large circle there. Oh, Class 300 is often in a state of near-total collapse these days because 50 of them have been given a holiday.
Yan Jingsheng stood among the 250s—or rather, 300s, it just didn't feel right. He held a beginner's guide to Sanda (Chinese kickboxing) and was instructing two fighters on their movements, while everyone else gathered around to watch.
One soldier on the field curled two fingers into a sharp point and lunged at another soldier acting as a mock opponent. Of course, this was just training; even if he landed a hit, he wouldn't be injured. Yan Jingsheng immediately shouted, "Stop! Stop! You can't do that. You have to wear boxing gloves in a real match. Besides—you're being too ruthless!"
The two soldiers stopped. This time, the one on the other side attacked first, leaping in front of the soldier on the other side, grabbing him and pretending to twist his neck. Yan Jingsheng shouted, "Stop! The neck is a prohibited area to strike."
The two soldiers had apparently been stopped more than once. When Yan Jingsheng told them to start again, the two young men stared at each other helplessly, unsure how to fight. They were both seasoned veterans of the battlefield, emphasizing a single, fatal blow; even if they couldn't kill you, they had to incapacitate you. Gouging out eyes, kicking the groin, striking the back of the head, twisting the neck—these were techniques they practiced daydreaming about. Asking them to use only fists and feet, with a defined striking range, was something they probably couldn't even comprehend, let alone adapt to.
I found Xu Delong and explained the general situation of the competition. Xu Delong said, "The performance is not difficult. As for the competition, do whatever is convenient for you. It doesn't matter whether our people participate or not." Xu Delong wanted to say something, but hesitated for a moment.
The two soldiers on the field stood there stunned for a long time without making a move. One of them finally couldn't hold back any longer and shouted at Yan Jingsheng, "Teacher, I don't understand why there are so many restrictions when emphasizing knocking down the opponent?" Xu Delong scolded him, "Mind your manners!" But after scolding him, he turned his face to wait for Yan Jingsheng's answer.
Wow, that's a good question! I'd never even thought of that. While I can't imagine what it would be like to have a competition that allowed people to gouge out eyes, kick crotches, pull hair to wash faces, scratch skin, or even bite ears, if such a competition really existed, the viewership would definitely be high, right?
I looked at Yan Jingsheng with schadenfreude, waiting to see what he would say.
Yan Jingsheng chuckled and said confidently, "Then next—"
I listened intently, just like 300.
Yan Jingsheng pointed at me, who was hiding in the crowd: "...Let's invite our Director Xiao to answer this question for everyone." After saying that, this damn pretty boy even led the applause.
Do you think I'm easily fooled? I waved to those around me with a broad smile, and after the applause subsided, I said mysteriously, "Well, that's a matter of opinion. Why don't we hear what Teacher Yan has to say first?" I then led the applause…
Xiao Yan was immediately dumbfounded. Heh heh, trying to mess with me?
He stammered, "I think... this is a battlefield, it wouldn't be good if someone got hurt..." He seemed dissatisfied with his answer, shaking his head in frustration. However, he probably realized he could use this question to stump me, so he immediately perked up. Before he could even launch into a challenge, I said with a smile, "Do you want to know the answer?"
Everyone was staring at me expectantly. I waved my hand and said decisively, "Enough talk! Keep training."
The 300 students snapped to attention and answered, "Yes, sir!"
Chapter Ninety-Five: Zhao Bailian
When I got home, only Qin Shihuang was playing the game. Since I hadn't eaten lunch, I dug a cold chicken leg out of the fridge and started eating it, then instructed Qin Shihuang: "Hold down the direction and the small jump, that's a running start."
"What did you say?" No wonder he couldn't pass the final level of Super Mario; he didn't even know that.
"Brother Ying, is the camera still charged? I need to do something for you tomorrow."
"What is it?"
"Tomorrow you just need to take pictures."
I need to get ID cards for 300 people, so this task falls to Xiao Rang and Jin Dajian. It's not that I'm unwilling to spend the money to get them from outside, but getting so many at once carries risks. With international terrorism so rampant these days, and East Turkistan, Tibetan separatists, and sensitive Taiwanese elements eyeing the scene with predatory intent, getting 300 fake IDs at once, especially if I encounter a particularly patriotic ID forger, might lead him to betray his customers to fulfill his own fervent desires.
Last time Shi Qian lost his ID card, these two worked together to make him a new one. But that was a special case, where they could take their time and do a fine job. This time it's a batch, so they'll probably need a professional printing machine.
Now we have the camera. It was a gift from Jin Shaoyan, of course a high-end model; in fact, many journalists who were determined to win the Pulitzer Prize for Photography used this model.
Where can I get a machine that can make fake certificates?
At this moment, Liu Bang returned...
"It's 500 a day. This is only because of Fengfeng. You know, if someone stops working for a day, the loss is much more than that..."
So the machine problem was solved. Who is Guo Tianfeng? She's the queen of counterfeiting in our area, although (currently) limited to the garment industry, she knows a wide variety of people.
Liu Bang looked around the rooms and said, "Xiang Da Ge hasn't come back yet? He left this morning, didn't he? He's spent almost the whole day with that girl Zhang Bing. Let's have dinner tonight and then go to a hotel—" Liu Bang snapped his fingers lewdly and said, "All set!"
I connected the computer and printer, printed out all of Xiang Yu's "love rivals" from the digital camera, and said, "Bangzi, I have to say that being a rogue is in your nature. But what were you like when you were emperor? Did you still talk like this?"
Liu Bang immediately looked dejected and said, "You've seen how tense I am before, so being an emperor requires being a bit eccentric." Liu Bang pointed to Qin Shi Huang in the bedroom and lowered his voice, "Isn't that one in there a perfect example?"
I laughed and said, "Is Brother Ying doing well?"
"So what if he lost the country? He's killed more people than you've ever seen!"
As they were talking, Baozi and Li Shishi returned. Baozi threw her boots on the shoe rack, slumped into the sofa, rubbing her feet, and called out, "Liu Ji, pour me a glass of water."
Normally, Baozi would definitely call me, but seeing that I was busy printing photos, and Liu Bang was close to the kettle, she assigned this emperor to serve her tea and water. Liu Bang eagerly brought the water over, and Baozi took a big gulp and said, "That damn wedding dress shop is robbing us."
Liu Bang and I were both taken aback. Seeing that Li Shishi was just smiling, I knew there was more to come.
"The cheapest rental is 200 yuan a day, and they don't offer discounts."
Liu Bang said, "That's not expensive at all. It's more expensive to rent a machine that makes fake documents."
Baozi rubbed her legs and said, "But you have to know that nowadays wedding dresses are rented in pairs. You wear one dress on the wedding day and another one on the homecoming. That alone costs almost 1,000 yuan."
I asked, "So, have you rented it or not?"
Baozi said, "We had no choice but to rent it, but Xiaonan said she has a classmate who makes wedding dresses and we can borrow one."
We all looked at Li Shishi, but she just smiled. Was she a classmate? Had Du Shiniang arrived?
Baozi got up to cook, and Li Shishi whispered to me, "There's a wedding dress at a boutique wedding shop that would suit my cousin-in-law perfectly, and it's not expensive."
"How much?"
“30,000,” Li Shishi said, glancing at me. “And it’s not for rent. I suggest you buy it and give it to your cousin-in-law. Every woman should have a wedding dress in her lifetime.”
Every woman should have a wedding dress? Where did she learn such a bourgeois style? Is she planning to use it after a divorce or wear it to the market? But she has the right to say that. If the bead she gave us as a wedding gift had been replaced with a wedding dress, it could have covered at least two entire armies in silver.
The beaded bun, having been worn for a while, was carelessly tossed into the drawer. However, it was a safe place; even if a thief broke in, unless they were at least an associate professor, they wouldn't be able to take anything valuable. Who would have thought that the dagger Jing Ke used to assassinate the Qin emperor, now peeled like a potato and strung on a red string, was actually Emperor Huizong of Song's spare hat bead, lying in the drawer?