Suddenly, Fatty Ying said coldly, "If the boss says he's dead, then he's dead."
General Wang suddenly realized: "Yes, Your Majesty is unparalleled in bravery, and a mere assassin will naturally not escape Your Majesty's sword."
Fatty Ying, hands behind his back, said with satisfaction, "That's right, that's right..."
Chapter 103 A Knock-off Super Mario
The historically famous assassination attempt on the King of Qin by Jing Ke came to a near-perfect conclusion thanks to our joint performance. During this event, I deeply felt that the solemnity of history is not to be—well, not to be desecrated. Take this particular incident, for example. Under the manipulation of us involved, it proceeded almost exactly as originally planned. From the moment they entered the palace, Qin Wuyang hesitated to advance, Jing Ke revealed his dagger, the fat man fled around the pillar, Xia Wuqie dropped the medicine, and Zhao Gao reminded Qin Shi Huang to carry his sword—every single event almost perfectly matched the original scenario.
What struck me most was that the two tasks originally assigned to me to ensure things went smoothly were taken away by my former master—in the chaos, I forgot to throw the medicine packet at Jing Ke and also forgot to remind Qin Shi Huang to carry his sword.
This is the result of differences in personality and stance between people. Seeing two best friends turn against each other, my mind went completely blank. Yet, the loyal Xia Wuqie still threw the only weapon he could use to the assassin for his king's sake, while the opportunistic Zhao Gao once again seized this chance to rise to power. This is why they are remembered in history; their own personalities determined their fate.
But I wasn't entirely useless; at least I acted as a mediator. If it weren't for me, Fatty Ying wouldn't have shouted that there was an assassin, and Qin Wuyang wouldn't have revealed his true colors so early. If it weren't for that, he might have joined Jing Ke in assassinating the king, and the outcome would have been very different.
Speaking of Qin Wuyang, I have to say, I think this guy is pretty good. At least he's probably not afraid of death, which is better than me. If I were him, I would have peed my pants when Prince Dan invited me to join. This was clearly a mission to send someone to their death, and Qin Wuyang's trembling wasn't because he was afraid of losing his life. My analysis is that he just lacks mental fortitude. He's afraid of failing the mission, afraid of losing face and becoming a target of criticism. The more he's like this, the worse it gets. It's the same principle as premature ejaculation…
However, to be fair, Qin Wuyang was still better than many assassins. He was just unfortunate to have been born in the Warring States period, an era teeming with assassins, which led to his obscurity. Later on, whether it was assassinating Lincoln, Rabin, or Castro (unsuccessfully), which assassin was willing to risk their life? Of course, the Palestinian suicide bomber is another story.
History is made up of countless coincidences and inevitabilities. I am the absolute coincidence, and my role is to save Ersha's life.
I glanced at Ersha, who was lying on the ground breathing evenly, and called Meng Yi in, instructing him, "Carry the assassin back to the Xiao Mansion."
Meng Yi whispered, "What if he wakes up?"
I said, "Don't make things difficult for him. This person is already 'dead,' do you understand?"
Seeing that Qin Shi Huang remained noncommittal, Meng Yi knew that this involved many secrets he shouldn't know, so he nodded and went to strictly carry out the order.
In the eyes of the courtiers, Ersha was covered in "blood" and motionless, so they naturally assumed that he was dead beyond any doubt. Without any suspicion, they all stepped forward to praise their king for his wisdom, might, and divine blessings.
I said to Fatty, "Brother Ying, I'll head back now. I'll come see you tomorrow when you feel a bit better."
Qin Shi Huang's eyes were unfocused, but he still nodded blankly. It seemed he was getting confused again, but he had developed a certain resistance to this situation after it happened so many times. So the fact that he didn't order someone to kill me, even though we were only half-acquainted, was a huge improvement.
When I returned to the Xiao mansion, Ersha had already woken up and was wandering around the room, adorned with red ribbons and decorations. I found it amusing and quickly asked someone to bring him a set of clean clothes. As Ersha changed his clothes, he sighed and said, "This time wasn't as exciting as last time. I still had so much to say."
I knew that what bothered him was probably that he didn't say those two polite words while leaning against the pillar at the end, so I laughed and said, "It's okay, just ask Brother Ying's historian to add them for you."
Ersha continued to sigh, "In just a short while, 300 yuan is gone."
...
The next day was sunny and bright. Today I had a very important thing to do—stopping Ersha. This was just the beginning. The fat man, who had memories of his past life, became the King of Qin again. If all went well, he would soon become the emperor. His every move would profoundly affect history. I had to tell the world about the axis.
He casually brought a few attendants and went straight into the palace. There was no need to bring guards anymore. Just as the fat man said, no one in the entire Qin Kingdom dared to really do anything to him now. The palace was under the jurisdiction of General Wang, who was more like one of his own.
Arriving at Xianyang Palace without any obstacles, I was immediately taken aback by the sight before me. A nearly 200-meter-long earthen and timber structure had been erected in the spacious palace square. Numerous logs, secured by ropes at their four corners, were suspended high from massive scaffolding on either side. Further ahead stood several bronze pillars, large enough for a person to easily pass through. Hanging in mid-air, thin ropes dangled numerous round coins with square holes…
Why does this look so familiar? When I saw the flag in front of a high set of steps, it finally dawned on me: Isn't this a scene from the game Super Mario?
Just then, I heard a high-pitched, drawn-out voice shout, "Run forward, jump high—eat the gold coins..." Puzzled, I looked in the direction of the voice and saw Qin Shi Huang sitting on a small stool, pressing a small wooden board repeatedly with both hands, his gaze fixed intently on the person opposite him. Beside him, a eunuch stood respectfully, his eyes fixed on the fat man's hands without blinking, not daring to be negligent in the slightest. It was this eunuch who was constantly issuing commands. I approached, but neither of them paid any attention to me. I followed Fatty Ying's gaze with annoyance and almost laughed out of anger: in the earthworks opposite, a eunuch dressed in bizarre attire, wearing a leather plumber's hat and a makeshift pair of overalls, and most noticeably, two horsehair-like mustaches glued to his chin, was performing various actions according to the commands of the other eunuch, climbing up and down and jumping around, while reaching out to grab gold coins hanging in the air and stuffing them into his pocket—he was clearly a knock-off version of Mary and the Brothers.
The eunuch dressed as Mary ate some gold coins, then jumped down from the giant tree and came to a row of loosely stacked blue bricks. The eunuch beside Qin Shi Huang shouted, "Up!"
In the game, the eunuch could only grit his teeth, close his eyes, and headbutt the pile of bricks. Fortunately, the bricks were just floating, and there must have been something lining the eunuch's hat. With a clattering sound, the entire row of bricks was pushed aside. The eunuch was fine, just covered in dust. I heard Qin Shi Huang sitting there, disappointed, saying, "Alas, not even a mushroom can be oiled."
I suppressed a laugh and stood next to him, saying, "Brother Ying, hurry up, it's time to pull the flag, let's get it to 5000 points."
When the fat man saw it was me, he pressed down on the wooden board and tossed it aside. The eunuch beside him shouted, "Stop!"
The eunuch in the game had just lifted one foot when he heard the command, and froze, too afraid to move...
The fat man waved for the eunuch to leave. I took the wooden board from his hand and saw a cross drawn with a brush on it, four buttons on the other side, and select and pause buttons in the middle…
The fat man stammered, a little embarrassed, and said, "You're being too slow, it's really awkward."
I pressed down haphazardly on the wooden board a few times. Without the eunuch to give the order, Mary naturally remained motionless, only bracing herself with one foot on the ground while sweating profusely.
I laughed and said, "Your machine is not working properly at all." I put down the wooden board, put on a pained expression and said, "Brother Ying, you're doing this wasteful and wasteful stuff again."
Now I'm starting to truly understand the advantages of being an emperor. In a time of extremely limited technology, for Emperor Ying to create such a massive project overnight with just a few words is something that wouldn't be easy even in modern society. This makes me increasingly aware of the truth that the greater a person's power, the greater the potential for harm.
Seeing that I was quite reproachful, the fat man argued, "I'm so bored, what if we don't build the Epang Palace after this is finished?"
Before I could speak, a seven or eight-year-old boy with a snotty nose suddenly ran over, shook the fat man's hand, and begged, "Father, let me play with it for a while too." As he spoke, his eyes were fixed on the small wooden board.
The fat man waved his hand impatiently and said, "Don't let the kids mess around like that, it'll affect their studies!"
Suddenly, Li Si appeared out of nowhere and whispered in my ear, "This child will be the future Qin Er Shi, Hu Hai."
I quickly stood up, pulled out 200 yuan, and stuffed it into the child's hand, saying, "Here, I didn't prepare anything for our first meeting, take this and buy some candy." Then I couldn't help but laugh, "What a ridiculous name—"
Fatty Ying hurriedly said, "Don't mention it." Then he said to Hu Hai, "Quickly thank your uncle."
Little Hu Hai held the two banknotes up to the sunlight and examined them for a long time. He then wiped his nose and asked, "Father, who is depicted on these banknotes?"
Hu Hai said, "Father, how about we print your image on the coins from now on?"
Fatty Ying: "..."
It seems this kid isn't just good at causing trouble; he's also quite politically astute. However, he's certainly not as clever as Cao Chong; he seems a bit reckless. Children like this usually don't have much wariness of others, but if they're not properly educated and surrounded by a few bad people who incite them, it's not hard for them to become the kind of scoundrel emperors they later became.
Thinking that I had teamed up with Xiang Yu to bully others, I couldn't help but pat Xiao Huhai's head and say guiltily, "Uncle will definitely bring you a game console next time he comes."
Both Qin Shi Huang and Hu Hai had stars in their eyes and exclaimed in unison, "Really?"
I rolled my eyes at the fat guy and said, "Brother Ying, stop messing around and focus on the kids' education."