Ersha smiled mysteriously, then suddenly pressed out an empty slot in the broken box he was holding: "This can still play cassette tapes..." Yeah, where can you buy cassette tapes? Someone as nostalgic as me only has two demagnetized Little Tigers tapes left.
Just then, I heard Baozi's excited scream from upstairs: "Wow—am I dreaming?" I quickly ran upstairs, shouting as I ran, "Brother Yu, no need for you to do it yourself!" I finally got a chance for revenge—this time I'm going to give that guy a good pinch on the butt!
When I ran upstairs, Baozi was already laughing and jumping with Hua Mulan, while my son was carelessly tossed onto the bed, sprawled out, looking like he was about to cry. Li Shishi gently picked up Bu Gai with heartache and scolded Baozi, "Sister-in-law, how can you take care of a child like that?"
The little boy opened his eyes and saw that all his godfathers and godmothers had arrived. Only then did he assess the situation and burst into tears, appearing extremely indignant, intending to use public opinion to condemn Xi Jinping's perverse actions.
Xiang Yu, the ancestor of the Xiang clan, said first: "Baozi, you are too careless."
Qin Shi Huang said, "Yes, little ones, you have to be careful."
Only Liu Bang poked his head out of his room and said, "People aren't that delicate. My son was toughened up from a young age, and he still became emperor."
Having already received the reprimand he shouldn't have seen his mother, Xiao Xiangshi, he buried his head contentedly in Li Shishi's arms, then sniffed. The idiot who came in later said, "Put it down, you smell weird."
Li Shishi said innocently, "I didn't wear perfume today."
Before he could finish speaking, he suddenly moved his small mouth towards Li Shishi's chest. Caught off guard, Li Shishi was sucked directly, her face flushing red as she exclaimed, "Oh, this little guy..."
Fortunately, Baozi immediately took the wrong thing away, patted his little bottom and laughed, "Your godmother didn't have a little brother before, so you could suck on him for nothing." We laughed loudly, and Li Shishi almost covered her face and ran away, scolding Baozi, "Your cousin's wife is getting more and more indecent."
As the saying goes, food and sex are human nature. I suddenly realized that men spend their whole lives revolving around women's breasts. Our family shouldn't be like this now because we're hungry, but later... uh, you get the idea, otherwise people will say we're indecent.
This group of people came to my house, only briefly stayed in Baozi's room, and then some changed into slippers and others looked for their old toothbrushes, leaving Baozi and me in the local area "unaware that we were guests in a dream," as they "acted as if Hangzhou were Bianzhou."
I stood there stunned for a moment before grabbing Xiang Yu, who was passing by. Before I could even speak, Xiang Yu asked me, "Where are my big shorts?" I blankly pointed to the closet. Xiang Yu nodded and was about to leave when I quickly grabbed him again. "Hey, I haven't even asked you yet."
"What do you want to ask?"
"...Where is my sister-in-law?" Personally, Xiang Yu seemed to have no reason not to be with Yu Ji—Yu Ji was due to give birth in two months, would he dare to wander around at this time? Also, how did they get back?
"Your sister-in-law is doing well." Xiang Yu changed into his shorts, slipped on his slippers, and went to wash his face. I had no choice but to pull Li Shishi back: "Where's Shao Yan?"
Li Shishi took a few new pieces of underwear from Baozi and went into her room. When I asked her, she said, "Shaoyan went to pick up his grandma."
"...How did you get back?"
"I'll take a taxi," Li Shishi said naturally.
I wanted to ask another question, but Li Shishi glanced at the clock on the wall and exclaimed, "Oh dear, we should go."
Baozi and I were both horrified. I couldn't help but shout, "Where are you going? You came all this way just to wander around?" Whatever the reason, if that were the case, it would be better if it were just a dream. This is too cruel for Baozi and me.
Baozi hugged Wu Ge tightly, standing at the top of the stairs as if she was frightened, and instinctively grabbed Hua Mulan who happened to be walking by.
Seeing our expressions, Li Shishi paused for a moment, then suddenly chuckled and said, "Silly goose. This 'we' includes you and your cousin-in-law—we should go to Yucai."
I asked in surprise, "Go to Yucai?"
Li Shishi said helplessly, "Immortal Liu really didn't tell you?"
"Liu Laoliu? What did you say? How did you get here? Aren't you afraid that Heaven will send you back?"
Li Shishi said, "Actually, when my cousin-in-law gave birth to Bu Gai, we all received a notification from Immortal Liu, saying that the day Bu Gai was one month old was the beginning of the incubation period of the Heavenly Dao. From today until the Lunar New Year of 2009, as long as the number of people participating in the activities and exchanges between Bingdao and Yucai does not exceed one thousand, it will be fine. During the remaining two months, we, your former clients, can move around freely."
I suddenly realized, "So you guys came? Lunar New Year—that's still two months away!" No wonder Xiang Yu and Liu Bang deliberately didn't see us off when Baozi and I left; they wanted to give us a surprise today. And when we said goodbye to Fatty and the others yesterday, they didn't seem too sad, because they knew they'd see us again today. Ersha almost revealed this secret, which is why Qin Shihuang pulled him back…
"Really?" Baozi was overjoyed. But she immediately said, "Oh dear, we should go to Happy Forest. Your dad and my dad are still waiting."
I said, "Let's go together then, it's not like we haven't eaten together before."
Xiang Yu grabbed my neck from behind and said, "Why go to Happy Forest? There are plenty of people waiting for you at Yucai's place."
Who are they?
Xiang Yu said, "Anyway, everyone who's supposed to come has come—I certainly can't leave your sister-in-law alone."
I exclaimed in surprise, "Your sister-in-law is here too?" Xiang Yu smiled and nodded.
Qin Shi Huang interjected, "Look, quite a few who shouldn't have come have arrived."
"Who shouldn't have come?" I'm curious, even the kind-hearted Qin Shi Huang had a blacklist?
Hua Mulan laughed and said, "You'll know when you get there. Just because my godson Xiao Bu Gai's one-month celebration happened to be a day when Heaven was slacking off, quite a few people who shouldn't have come actually did come."
I became increasingly curious, wishing I could sprout wings, but then I hesitated, wondering, "What about my parents and Baozi's parents?"
Liu Bang said, "Oh, you're so stubborn! Which one is more important?"
"Uh..." To be honest, I still think the older generation is more important. After all, they are elders, and Baozi and I don't have the guts to rebel.
Xiang Yu casually told Baozi, "Call your dad and tell him to come see me at Yucai." He had the confidence to say that; the old accountant was his great-grandson, who knows how many generations back—
But what about my father? It seems that our Xiao family has declined in status. Among the clients I've served, apart from Xiao Rang, there isn't a single celebrity.
Liu Bang said, "Xiao Qiang, if your dad knew that you offended almost every famous person in history just for a meal that was so insignificant, wouldn't he beat you up?"
I said dejectedly, "He'd beat me if he knew I skipped his meal to meet a bunch of shady people!"
The group of people: "..."
Finally, I said suddenly, "Forget it, let's go to Yucai first, and I'll think of something later."
Once outside, I saw a huge group of people and asked, "Which way do I get there?"
Xiang Yu patted my invincible Jinbei van affectionately: "I'll drive this one."
Baozi said, "There's not enough room here."