I swallowed hard, took a step back, and tried hard to recall the martial arts moves I had neglected for so long. "Nangong Ling, what are you dawdling for? Are the Nine Dukes really that difficult to deal with?"
Actually, you can't blame me for being too blunt; it's just that Jun Guan really hurt me.
"You hit me so hard, I'm sure I wouldn't have survived if you had the Qilin Whip. Is that enough?"
These words only have an effect when said to Feng Moru's face.
Upon hearing this, Feng Moru's expression changed, and she turned to look at Jun Guan, who was expressionless and had a gloomy look in his eyes.
"You want to kill her?"
“If I could, I would.” He smiled again, his thin lips as red as blood. “But at least it’s still useful for now.”
"Get out."
Jun Guan shrugged, a mocking smile playing on his lips, but a complex emotion flickered in his eyes. He dragged his feet and lifted the curtain, glancing back with a look of utter desolation, as heartbreaking as a cuckoo's mournful cry.
My heart skipped a beat for no reason. At this moment, he seemed to overlap with the pale boy covered in blood from many years ago. It was this moment of vulnerability that made me lose my will to kill.
"Lian'er." Feng Moru's voice brought me back to reality.
"Don't call me that anymore." I glanced at the unopened pigeon on the table; even the yellowish-brown parchment paper exuded a strong sense of sorrow.
"Why?" Her brows furrowed, her expression as cold as an ancient plum blossom. "Are you afraid that Nangong Ling will be displeased if he hears this?"
This is the question you asked yourself, "That's right."
"Why him? Shouldn't you hate him?"
He did so much for me, he endured so much all by himself. If I hate him, would I still be human?
"All I know is that he's very good to me."
"If I had known you before him, would you have chosen me?"
I looked into his deep, well-like eyes and shook my head resolutely.
"Our personalities are too different; we're not a good match."
"So Nangong Ling is better than me? Isn't he just as boring and cold, and he even lays a hand on you..."
"no the same."
I know his bottom line, and I know I've gone too far in my willfulness. We both understand this in our hearts, but because of what has happened, we can't let go easily, so we have to test each other to figure out each other's feelings.
Feng Moru closed his eyes, his pale fingertips trembling slightly. After a long while, he managed a bitter smile. Instantly, a vast and desolate silence spread uncontrollably.
"Lian'er... Ronglian, how could you be so heartless..."
If I couldn't bear to, I'd drag things out, and indecisiveness isn't my style. Besides, it would be unfair to that person. Thinking about this, I couldn't help but smile. When did I become so inseparable from him? Have I really fallen this deep?
"Why should you take on those responsibilities that you used to disdain? It's not worth it for me. You're not suited for a life of power struggles and intrigue. You should be living a carefree and tranquil life, like a hermit wandering the world. That's why I often enjoy watching you paint."
"Nothing else?"
"I get nothing but a moment of peace from you."
“Rong Lian, who can be more cunning than you? Who can be more ruthless than you? From beginning to end, all you cared about, all you had in your eyes, was Nangong Ling. Although I knew this, I was willing to be used by you because I clung to a sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, you really did hate him…”
I looked away, unable to bear the sight of his increasingly cold and desolate eyes, which seemed to envelop all the loneliness of autumn rain and winter snow, making it hard for me to breathe. I longed to return to Yunzhi's side immediately; I couldn't bear this pressure. One Jun Guan was bad enough, but they had to add Feng Moru to the mix? Did they think I had no conscience?
"Okay, I'm tired." Although it's not very honorable, sometimes escapism is a way to cope.
He stared at me for a long time, so long that I thought the night was going to pass like this, before he slowly, slowly looked away. His lips were pale and dull, as lonely and cold as deep snow.
When he left, he took with him a room full of desolation, leaving behind an omnipresent desolation, so heavy and intense.
Feeling uneasy, I kept my eyes open until dawn, but no light could penetrate the camp. The candles on the table had long since burned out, leaving only a dim, hazy atmosphere, with only a few slivers of light squeezing in from outside the curtain.
"Miss?" A small voice came from outside the door, tentative and cautious.
"Who is it?" I simply stood up.
The curtain was lifted, letting in a golden light that was somewhat dazzling.
The person who walked in was graceful and elegant, wearing a warm red jacket and a matching pomegranate-colored skirt, with a delicate and pretty oval face.
"Xiao Ruo? Your master has taken such good care of you; you've become even more beautiful in just a few months."
Her little face flushed slightly. "Miss is joking."
She helped me wash and dress, and after breakfast I was alone in the camp again. Apart from Xiao Ruo, no one else came.
Chapter 74
When I was lying in bed pretending to be dead, someone came.
"You're so relaxed. I thought you were about to go crazy from being cooped up for so long."
That's a voice that deserves a beating!
"How could that be? If anyone's going to go crazy, it'll be you first before I can go crazy."
"Hmph, let's see how long you can be so arrogant. You've offended your backer, what do you have to compete with me?" He finished with a smug laugh.
I sighed, "You're the one who shamelessly challenged me to a competition; I had absolutely no intention of competing with you."
With a glare, she drew her sword and stood up. I sat up abruptly in bed. Yan Hailan would never show any mercy.
His swordsmanship is becoming increasingly refined, and his attacks are becoming more and more ruthless. If I didn't have some basic skills, it wouldn't have been as simple as just having a few strands of hair cut off. But I can't hold out much longer either; if this drags on, it's only a matter of time before I start bleeding.
"Are you ever going to stop? Why are you making things difficult for me?!" I was annoyed too; I'd been holding in a lot of pent-up frustration for the past two days.
She paused, but her soft sword continued to dart across my neck, sending a sharp pain through me.
"Just looking at you makes me angry!"
"That's ridiculous. You think I want to see you?"
I threw the teapot and porcelain cups on the table. The camp was already sparsely furnished, and after throwing these away, there was nothing left to throw. My strength had reached its limit, and to make matters worse, the poison from Guanghan Powder took effect at this moment.
"Xiao Ruo!" Thinking about it, my life is more important. I didn't die at Jun Guan's hands, but I died at your hands, Yan Hailan. It's so frustrating. So I shouted at the top of my lungs.
"You called for help so quickly? Aren't you always so proud and principled?!"
Ugh, I'm really getting angry. I grabbed a wooden stick from the window and used it as a sword. After all, I've diligently learned the Rong-style Nine Swords technique.
Sure enough, when it really comes down to it, there's no such thing as a hero saving a damsel in distress. There's not a single ghost in sight; the only thing that matters is self-rescue!
Later, because of the extreme cold of the Guanghan Powder, his body couldn't take it and he unfortunately fainted.
...
"Why is Miss Yan so reckless?"
When I woke up, I heard Xiao Ruo's voice, but it was a little muffled, as if there was a veil between us.
"Cough...cough cough..." I opened my mouth to speak, but felt an itch in my throat.
That damn Yan Hailan, she really gave me a hard time.
Xiao Ruo nervously poured me a glass of water and carefully fed it to me, which calmed me down a little.
I moved my body and felt a tightness around my neck. When I touched it, I found it was wrapped with a strip of white cloth. It was like an old wound that hadn't healed and a new one had been added.
"Where is Yan Hailan?" This grudge must be avenged, or else I will not rest in peace.
"In the main tent..."
Before she could finish speaking, I threw off the covers and rushed outside, but after only a few steps, Luo Qiu stopped me with his jade flute.
"Get out of my way! I want to see your master!"
The door god hesitated and did not take back the jade flute. Suddenly, I thought of a very important question.
"Did you let Yan Hailan in yesterday?"
Luo Qiu's eyes narrowed, but he remained silent.
"So you stopped Yan Hailan because you saw me faint?" I knew the answer from his expression. "Anyway, you really hate me, but you can't disobey the sect leader's orders, so you used Yan Hailan to teach me a lesson, didn't you?"
"So I told you you're really annoying. Why does a woman have to be so sharp?" He finally spoke, his words blunt and direct.
"Another thing is that they hold grudges very much. I'll remember this debt."
He gave me a knowing look, put away the jade flute, and let me pass.
Upon arriving at the main tent, they were surprised to see an elderly man in brown robes with a serious expression; it was none other than Tan Gongqing.
Yan Suqing was pouring tea for Jun Guan, looking all meek and submissive. I thought to myself, "Can't you be a little more ambitious? You're supposed to be the leader of the martial arts alliance, after all."
"She can come and go so freely, does Sect Leader Jun allow her such freedom? What if she escapes..."
"She won't run away. With her pride, she wouldn't stoop to running away, because in her mind, a runner is equivalent to a weakling."
Tan Gongqing frowned, clearly not quite believing it. "Master Jun really knows a lot about this."
Jun Guan smiled, but the smile was somewhat forced.
Are you here to see Hailan?
Where is she?
"With your current skills, you can't beat her, so why bother making a fool of yourself?"
That's really frustrating; it was like a bucket of cold water being poured on me, completely extinguishing my arrogance.
"..." So I decided to change my target. "If I remember correctly, you are Minister Tan of the Nine Ministers, right? Now that the capital is in trouble, why are you not in the city but have come to Phoenix Mountain?"
"Yes, Phoenix Mountain is a nice place."
"If you don't speak, no one will think you're mute." I glared at him fiercely. Why should I care about someone who wants to kill me? It's definitely a misconception to think he's weak and pitiful.
"How is Yunzhi?" Although I believe he will be alright, I can't help but worry.
Tan Gongqing's face instantly twisted in anger. "That damned Nangong Ling, how could he be so ruthless? If it weren't for Sect Leader Jun sending someone to tell me to run away sooner..."