Aoyama glanced awkwardly at the side room. "The dishes are all so fresh, are the two of you... not going to eat?"
Shu Xuehong chuckled and placed a small stool next to herself. "Sigh... In the end, I'll be spending the New Year alone. I'll have the kitchen prepare something and send it in tonight. I don't care if that kid is hungry or not, but my granddaughter and great-grandson can't be hungry."
Kicking open the door and placing Shu Yi'an on the bed, Chu Mu eased the pain in his body. He inadvertently noticed a piece of Xuan paper on her desk, with tiny characters written in Shu Yi'an's usual delicate style.
White as snow on the mountain, bright as the moon in the clouds. Hearing you have two minds, I come to sever our ties. Today we drink together, tomorrow by the ditch. I wander along the ditch, the water flowing east and west. So sad, so very sad, no need to weep at weddings. I wish for a single-hearted lover, to stay together until our hair turns white.
"Ode to White Hair..." Chu Mu suddenly felt a sudden, inexplicable panic. Shu Yi'an on the bed and his gaze met at the same time, looking at the vast and distant space.
Chu Mu tightened his grip on his fingers and stepped forward, asking in a low voice, "Yi An, shall we talk?"
The author has something to say: The meaning of "Bai Tou Yin" is that love should be as pure as snow on the mountain and as bright as the moon in the clouds. I heard that you have two hearts, so I came to break up with you. Today is like our last gathering, and tomorrow we will part ways. I slowly moved my feet and walked along the ditch, feeling that you and I are like the water in the ditch, forever going our separate ways. When I left home to follow you, I did not cry sadly like other girls. I thought that I had married a devoted and satisfactory man and we could love each other until old age and be happy forever.
I've become completely obsessed with this poem lately, and many girls guessed it correctly yesterday. I'll be sending out red envelopes on the day the answer is revealed!!
Mr. Chu's pursuit of his wife fully demonstrated his skill of first resorting to force and then using words to persuade her.
Chapter 64 Saying Goodbye
Chu Mu's purpose in coming here was to take her back, so he felt that taking direct action would only make Shu Yi'an more resistant, especially after seeing the poem she was copying on her desk.
Chu Mu stood by her window, watching the mist slowly rise outside, and suddenly didn't want her to see the obvious disappointment in his eyes.
“What you need to know is that I didn’t just want to take you away because you were pregnant, Yi’an. From the day you divorced me, I realized that letting you go... seems to be a more difficult thing than forcibly keeping you by my side.”
"I admit that I didn't know you well enough when we got married, and I was once very mean to you, so much so that I didn't even realize I was hurting you. I left you in Beijing, leaving you to bear the pressure from my family alone, and... I even took all your sacrifices in this marriage for granted, thinking it was perfectly normal." Chu Mu closed his eyes slightly, the words that followed clearly showing some difficulty for him.
“Many things between Tao Yunjia and me are not what you think… She went to Germany, the photo album she mailed, including her telling you she was pregnant, I was never involved in any of these things, and I didn’t even know before that. I didn’t explain to you at the time because I was afraid you would think I was making excuses for myself, and I felt that the focus of our conflict was not there. But it wasn’t until I saw you lying weakly in the hospital bed after your miscarriage that I realized how wrong I was.”
He turned around and looked intently at the woman leaning against the bed with her head down. He stepped forward, pinched her delicate chin, and forced her to look at him.
“It’s not that you don’t love me, it’s that you love me with fear. I thought your lack of questions meant you didn’t care, but after you left, I realized that you were afraid that if you asked, you would get a definite answer from me that would break your heart. That day, I pinned you against the wall of the villa and asked you if you ever trusted me. Now that I think about it, I was really a bastard.”
“I was too proud, so I always wanted to win or lose in everything, including my relationship with you. I always wanted you to depend on me and love me without any reason. But I forgot that I never admitted my feelings for you. Even when I proposed to you, I deceived myself and attributed it to impulse. But when you asked for a divorce, I really panicked. During that time, I wanted to admit defeat to you many times, but I didn’t have time to say it before you left.”
"Shu Yi'an, I never thought about leaving you the day we got married, and I never thought about finding anyone else to be my wife when we separated. I truly know how sinful I am towards you. Please give me a chance to make it up to you slowly in the future, okay?"
After experiencing Chu Mu's serious injury, Shu Yi'an found it difficult to fall in love with anyone else, but wasn't Chu Mu the same? Having received all of Shu Yi'an's complete and tender emotions, he felt that all other women were pretentious.
Shu Yi'an didn't know how to face his sudden apology and confession. It seemed that Chu Mu had never been like this before. He had never spoken to her so earnestly, had never been so honest about his true thoughts and feelings, and had never... said he loved her.
"You're only saying this now... don't you think it's a bit too late?" Shu Yi'an stubbornly tilted her head, refusing to let the tears fall from her eyes. Her voice choked, and her fair hands gripped his cardigan tightly. "Chu Mu, do you know how desperate I was when I said the word 'divorce'?"
Shu Yi'an finally couldn't hold back her tears. All the hardships and perseverance she had endured as a single mother over these past few days crumbled in the warmth of this man's hands.
“At that time, even if I had the slightest hope, I would not have chosen to leave you with the child… I know it’s selfish to do this, but Chu Mu, I’m really scared… I’ve already given myself to this marriage with you, and I can’t joke about the baby anymore.”
"I'm willing to marry you not because of your amazing background or talent, but because you almost always appear when I'm at my lowest and most vulnerable. That feeling is something I haven't experienced since losing my parents. I choose to be with you without reservation, even if you don't love me, it doesn't matter, as long as I love you. But... even if you put in so much effort for a long time, you'll get tired."
Shu Yi'an's pale face was icy cold. She stared blankly at the buttons on Chu Mu's shirt and murmured to herself, her face as calm as still water.
"You say I don't trust you, and that I choose to avoid talking about all the conflicts and misunderstandings between us. But Chu Mu, that's because I trust you too much... I firmly believe that you will give me a marriage and a family, and I firmly believe that you will not betray me. How can you use my trust in you as an excuse to hurt me?"
"After I arrived in Suzhou, I did my prenatal checkups alone and watched this little life grow up slowly by myself. Sometimes I wondered when I should let you know about its existence? Ten years? Twenty years? Or after I die? Chu Mu, Shu Yi'an's life after the age of eighteen was created by your own hands and was born because of you, but now I have a better reason to continue."
Chu Mu listened silently to her accusations, his lips pursed, finally realizing that the damage he had caused her was far beyond what could be undoed. He sighed inwardly, thinking that since she refused to accept his apology, he would have to use his most effective method to force her to compromise.
After all, his people must belong to him.
Taking her hand that was gripping his, Chu Mu pulled her into his arms and spoke in a deep, calm voice, "I'll only ask you one question, Shu Yi'an: do you still love Chu Mu as a person? Do you still hold even a sliver of expectation or hope for him?"
Shu Yi'an avoided his gaze, remaining silent. Chu Mu suddenly laughed, his voice alluring and deep.
"Not going to talk? Then I'll tell you."
"If you didn't love me, you wouldn't have secretly come to Suzhou pregnant. You could have just had an abortion. Wouldn't that have made it easier to break up with me? If you didn't love me, why did you choose to call me in the middle of the night when you were in danger and couldn't take it anymore? And if you did call, why did you hang up after hearing another woman's voice?"
“During the six hours I stood in the courtyard, you peeked at me from the window twenty-three times. Each time it lasted for several minutes, and your eyes were red, clearly showing signs of crying. Miss Shu, if you still say no, wouldn't it seem a bit insincere?”
Yes, a diplomat's greatest skill is using the most compelling and straightforward evidence to render the other side powerless and helpless, while simultaneously delivering impeccable and beautifully worded arguments. Chu Mu exemplified this to the fullest extent, leaving Shu Yi'an with no possibility of denial under his onslaught. It was as if she had no cover whatsoever before him, nowhere to hide.
Chu Mu gritted his teeth inwardly, thinking, "They're all mine, there's no way they're going anywhere! Whether you agree or not, I'm taking you and the child with me."
Shu Yi looked at him quietly for a long time without saying a word. So long that Chu Mu began to feel uncertain, she suddenly nodded heavily, as if in acknowledgment.
“I said this when we got divorced, and I’m still not afraid to admit my feelings: I love you, even though you don’t love me and we’ve been separated for so long. My feelings for you haven’t diminished or diminished in the slightest. Are you satisfied now?”
Satisfied?! He was absolutely overjoyed! Chu Mu stood there, somewhat bewildered, completely taken aback by Shu Yi'an's blunt and straightforward confession. He didn't know how to continue his prepared explanation.
Shu Yi'an silently took a deep breath and carefully stood on the bed, appearing somewhat clumsy and strained due to her physical limitations.
Chu Mu took a step forward and reached out to stop her leg, a little startled. "What are you doing?"
Shu Yi'an stared at him for a while, then suddenly reached out and hooked her arm around his neck, biting his shoulder hard. It was something Shu Yi'an felt she had done with all her strength; she could even clearly feel warm blood seeping out from Chu Mu's muscular shoulder.
Chu Mu gasped in pain, his brows furrowing sharply, but he dared not flinch, his arms tightening around her to prevent her from falling. This only made him seem more accommodating. Cold sweat trickled down her forehead. Shu Yi'an looked at his temples and buried her head deeply in the crook of Chu Mu's neck, her voice muffled. The words she uttered were ones Chu Mu would never forget for the rest of his life.
She said, "Chu Mu, I will only forgive you this once, and I will only agree to this once. If you bully me again, I will really never come back."
She said, "Do you think I'm pathetic? But I can't help it. I can't convince myself to not care about you, and I really can't ignore your arrival. From the moment you came to me, I forgave you."
Because not every separated couple will cross thousands of miles to reunite at the start of a new year. Shu Yi'an knew how fortunate she was to have such a fate and opportunity for her otherwise uneventful life, so she did not hesitate or back down; being frank was courage.
Chu Mu, his eyes brimming with joy and disbelief, embraced her tightly, kissing her earlobe tenderly as if she were a lost treasure found again, murmuring her name repeatedly, his voice hoarse. "Yi An..."
Fireworks rained down from the sky, exploding like thunderclaps and painting the sky crimson. Inside the house were the two who had finally become a couple after overcoming countless hardships.
The author has something to say: There are no logics in the world of relationships. Your agreement to be his girlfriend and marry him is just because of a momentary infatuation and the lasting emotion he brings you over the years.