Precise loss of control

Chapter 25

Strictly speaking, he was a cowardly high school student whose average level was slightly below average.

Lin Qunzhi secretly harbored feelings for the girl sitting behind him, observing her every move in secret every day. Sometimes he would linger at the school gate, waiting for her to leave before following her home at an impenetrable distance, watching her walk into her house from afar before reluctantly departing.

Unfortunately, this girl was anything but ordinary.

From the very first day of high school, she was ostracized by the entire class for the absurd reason: she was the daughter of a murderer. Being ostracized for such a reason might be understandable in elementary school, but in high school? Even more absurdly, her homeroom teacher, who was supposed to uphold justice, joined in the bullying, leaving her isolated and helpless, which emboldened the other bad students in the class.

It's impossible for everyone in the class to think that ostracizing an innocent girl is right, but absolutely no one dares to lend her a helping hand—it's very clear that if anyone stands on her side and speaks up for her, the number of people the whole class will ostracize will become two.

Lin Qunzhi couldn't understand why the girl who had been subjected to such collective bullying, or even severe humiliation, had never considered transferring schools. Her unexpected strength was shrouded in mystery, which mixed a strange kind of admiration into Lin Qunzhi's liking for her.

This simple affection, coupled with a strong and twisted respect, led Qunzhi to occasionally risk showing the girl a little kindness, such as handing her tissues, staring blankly at the table while everyone was laughing, or... silently cursing the bad students who bullied her in his heart.

In my second year of high school, I forget if it was the first or second semester, a strange thing happened at school.

Someone fell to their death while sweeping the floor. The deceased was a bad boy in the class who often bullied girls.

Regardless of the bizarre location of the fall, the truly astonishing part is that the "deceased person was actually not dead at all." Preliminary tests identified the body as belonging to the class's notorious boy who frequently sexually harassed girls. But that boy was perfectly healthy and far from being dead; how could he be the body? The matter is complex, but in short, the "deceased" person continued to attend school every day, instilling immense fear in everyone in the class.

All that was left for the police officers handling the case was that broken yet perfectly preserved corpse that had been in the public eye.

Although it was a murder, it wasn't a tragedy for Qunzhi. He was very happy, extremely happy, guessing that his relentless curses had finally come true, and retribution was indeed served.

He thought the girl must be very happy too, because a strange, radiant glow had appeared on her face after that incident. He secretly cheered, and to celebrate this "victory shared by both of them," Qunzhi decided to shorten the tracking distance slightly, to a point where it wouldn't matter if they were discovered.

That day after school, Qunzhi waited anxiously at the school gate, but the girl never came out.

As it grew later and the girl still hadn't appeared, he became increasingly anxious.

Unable to resist, he returned to the classroom on the fourth floor, and through the gap in the curtains, he glimpsed an unbearable scene.

...A bastard who also frequently harasses girls is kneeling on the classroom floor and raping a girl!

By the time Qunzhi came to his senses, the utility knife in his hand was already stained with hot blood.

That bastard, clutching his neck and face flushed red, couldn't utter a word. He ran around the classroom like a blind bull with its tail on fire, knocking over desks and chairs. Finally, he tried to rush out of the classroom, so Qunzhi had to block the doorway and stab him twice in the stomach. The second stab left the broken blade of the utility knife inside the bastard's stomach.

After twitching his foot a few times, that bastard stopped moving.

Why is it possible to kill someone with just a utility knife?

The bewildered group sat haphazardly in their chairs, staring blankly at the bastard lying in a pool of blood.

It's over. My life is ruined. My family can't afford a lawyer. No, what good would a lawyer do? I clearly committed the murder myself. It's ruined. It's over. I'll spend the rest of my life in prison. I've heard there are many horrific things in prison. Should I escape? Is it even possible? The chances of escaping and being caught again are unimaginable. There's no hope. Suicide? I don't have the courage to commit suicide. Will I be sentenced to death? Would it be considered self-defense? In any case, I can no longer see the light ahead...

In just ten minutes, the high school student, whose uniform was stained with blood, experienced a rapid and negative mental transformation, or rather, a rollercoaster-like twist.

The disheveled girl didn't seem too surprised; she simply and slowly put her clothes back on, buttoning them up one by one. She showed neither fear nor gratitude towards the group.

She didn't cry.

Faced with the scenes of a rape and a murder that had just occurred, one a victim of rape and the other the perpetrator who killed the rapist, the girl and Qunzhi remained silent, like strangers from two different worlds. The only sound in the classroom was the ticking of the clock next to the blackboard.

As darkness fell, the girl finally spoke.

"It's my fault that you're in this situation."

"without."

Do you like me?

"..." Qunzhi had no intention of lying and blurted out, "I like it very much, I like it to death."

"Do something for me."

don't know.

Didn't I just kill someone for you?

Qunzhi stared at the girl without any thought.

"One day, you'll come back and tell me where you've been all this time."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Although they didn't know what the girl was saying, Qunzhi quickly realized what she wanted them to do.

The girl unbuttoned her clothes one by one, removing her bra and panties.

The only goddess in my heart, beautiful and strong, brave and mysterious, stands naked on the podium.

Delicate, slightly protruding collarbones, snow-white shoulders, perfectly curved breasts, pale pink areolas, a slender waist, shapely calves, and long, thin hair...

The goddess fell silent, simply gazing at herself with an alluring look she could never have imagined.

The air in the classroom became so thick it was almost maddening.

Completely clueless about how to handle the aftermath of this murder, Qunzhi actually knew what he should do now—without needing to learn or imitate, he instinctively thrust his penis into the goddess's vagina, throbbing excitedly.

At this moment, as the goddess lovingly "repays" him with her body, he feels a deep sense of inferiority. Just now, he was still feeling remorseful for killing a pig, but he forgot that saving the goddess was his only purpose in living in this world. What an honor it is to be able to use his own hands to forcefully cut open the throat of the pig that violated the goddess!

goddess!

goddess!

goddess!

Knowing that his will collapsed in the instant before ejaculation, only then did the eyes of the group of geniuses dare to look at the goddess's face.

The goddess was looking at him tenderly.

He could no longer suppress the emotion in his heart.

My whole body trembled, followed by the most violent shiver of my life.

After a long eight months and thirteen days, Qunzhi smuggled himself back to Taiwan as a wanted murderer.

As agreed, the collective wisdom that had returned from their ordeal told the goddess...

"Unbelievable, I went to Madagascar."

3

People who are despicable will not be punished by Heaven.

After a difficult journey to smuggle themselves back to Taiwan from the Syrian border, and with their weight gradually returning to normal, the group is now preparing for their next "departure," training to be physically fit enough to overcome danger and stocking up on necessary supplies.

On the one hand, he felt he was being a masochist, but on the other hand, he was not surprised at all that he would keep repeating the same mistakes... For the past fourteen years, hadn't he just been repeating the same terrifying adventure over and over again?

If you want to stop, you can call it a halt at any time, but...

Once the call to halt is made, the twenty-three departures over the past fourteen years will be completely worthless.

More importantly, once he stops, he will have no reason to have sex with the goddess anymore.

This is all crazy.

It's unbelievable that someone as lowly as myself could have intimate relations with a goddess by "exploring the meaning within." Every time I think about it, I tremble with emotion and curl up in ecstasy.

He later discovered that for a fee of 100,000 yuan, anyone could have sex with their sacred and inviolable goddess—what an insane thing that was!

Unable to tolerate such madness, yet utterly unqualified to stop the goddess from doing so, in a sense of responsibility, the goddess becoming a prostitute could be attributed to their own incompetence. Qunzhi had no choice but to join the ranks of backpackers who kept "setting off," setting off again and again, and desperately escaping back each time.

What has always sustained his collective wisdom is probably that small privilege that distinguishes him from other backpackers. He regards that conversation from many years ago as a blessing from a benevolent goddess.

Before his second departure, he met his high school crush, whom he was still a fugitive, at a small hotel in a dark alley.

The two lay on the slightly yellowed bed, hand in hand, looking at their reflections in the mirror on the ceiling. The two in the mirror looked exactly like a real couple.

During this period, the goddess endured the police's relentless questioning alone, and the situation of being ostracized by her classmates became even more serious. In comparison, the suffering she had endured in Madagascar seemed too easy.

The goddess spoke a lot, recounting many things from her childhood and sharing many strange and unusual ideas.

He lay quietly to the side, pretending to be a human-shaped piece of air, not daring to disturb him.

"I've been reading a book lately."

The goddess's delicate face looked somewhat sad.

"Hmm." The group of geniuses was speechless, especially unable to look directly into the goddess's clear eyes.

"The first page of the book says that everything that happens in life has its meaning." The goddess paused, then sighed softly: "Do you believe that?"

"It must be," the group of experts said with certainty.

If I hadn't lost control and killed that pig after school that day, I wouldn't have had the good fortune to be favored by the goddess. It must have been something extraordinary in the dark.

"My father told me before he died that good things will happen in life, and that we live to see those good things happen. I think what my father meant was similar to a sentence in a book."

"I don't know, but... yes, I did have some good things happen to me."

In the past, when my goddess was bullied, I always stood by and did nothing, almost becoming one of "them." Thinking back on it makes me so ashamed I want to commit suicide. Fortunately, deep down I still hold complete respect and love for my goddess, which allowed me to "reasonably lose control" and kill that pig. Luckily, I wasn't despised by her, and today I'm able to have such a unique chat with her…

The goddess took off her clothes.

He was so moved by the goddess's generosity that he became aroused.

"Perhaps it's another dangerous place, but I really hope that one day you can tell me why you went there? What does going to such a place have to do with me? Why did I suddenly gain this ability... What is the significance of this ability? And why did I..."

He thought that what the goddess didn't say was why her fate was the way it was today.

This is a mystery.

To be able to undertake the task of solving the mystery for the goddess. What an honor!

"Goddess, I swear, one day I will find out the meaning of all this."

Moved by something inexplicable, Qunzhi once again set off from the soft vagina in the cheap hotel.

Day after day, month after month.

After numerous departures, on one of their returns, the group of wits discovered that the goddess had gained many followers.

Compared to those who love being close to death and only want to confirm their own existence through a sense of crisis, Qunzhi is simply someone who fears death. He would rather live an ordinary life than suddenly appear in an unknown, desolate wilderness and be forced to accept a death journey with no end in sight.

Those backpackers are all crazy. Every single one of them is a genuine madman. But perhaps in the eyes of those madmen, they themselves, who are perfectly ordinary, are the ones who are truly insane from head to toe.

The purpose of setting out "to help my one true love find the meaning of life" is precisely the meaning of my own life.

Only one remains.

only.

Unable to question themselves.

...the meaning of approaching madness.

My phone vibrated; another text message, brimming with a summons, had arrived.