"Oh! Oh! How can you skip breakfast? Your stomach will be ruined! This child! All morning!" the mother-in-law continued to urge.
When Lijuan returned home in the evening, she rang the doorbell. "Yaping." Yaping didn't come out to greet her, but her mother-in-law did.
Yaping sat on the sofa reading the newspaper. Her father-in-law was still smoking at the dining table.
"Yaping! Your wife's back and you didn't even greet her! You should at least say hello!" Lijuan complained playfully. Yaping didn't even look up. "We're already at the door, what's the point of greeting her? Give me your bag. I'll hang it up for you." Her mother-in-law took the things from Lijuan's hands.
Lijuan looked around and felt her home was both unfamiliar and strangely familiar. The most noticeable change was that the house had been rearranged according to her mother-in-law's wishes. The linen tablecloth on the dining table was gone, replaced by a disposable plastic sheet. The crystal vase on the table was also missing. "My mother-in-law is really observant! I was thinking yesterday not to ruin the linen tablecloth, so she changed it today. But where's the vase?" Lijuan wondered.
“I’ve put the tablecloth away for you. Those fancy ones aren’t used in everyday life, and they’ve gotten dirty and faded. They’re only for when guests come over, to make them look nice. I’ve also put the vase away in the cabinet; it’s just collecting dust there.” Her mother-in-law’s words followed Lijuan’s eyes.
The fabric sofa was covered with towels from back to seat. Since one towel wasn't enough, two towels of different colors and patterns were mismatchedly tucked into the edges. The originally colorful sofa, which matched the decor, now looked out of place, like a patchwork garment riddled with holes. "If the sofa is left exposed to the air, it won't stay bright for long. To keep it looking good, you need to know how to maintain it. If no one comes over, what's the big deal about covering it with a cover? You can remove it when someone comes. It's also easier to wash that way."
Lijuan really wanted to say: "It's serious. It's greatly affecting my quality of life and my mood at home. I can still make love with Yaping on the sofa, but now I've lost interest." She held back and didn't say anything. She also didn't agree with her mother-in-law. Her mother-in-law seemed a little embarrassed.
Lijuan focused her gaze on the wall behind the sofa in the living room. There it was—the famous painting of the Great Bathers! Now, several rows of ropes stretched down from it! And in the main part of the painting, New Year's cards hung! "Mom!?" Lijuan's voice rose slightly. This was quite a shock.
“Your dad said he feels uncomfortable walking around among naked women all day. It’s so cold, don’t let him get cold. So I came up with an idea: let’s take out all the New Year’s cards you’ve been putting away in the drawers and display them. It’s festive and healthy.”
"What?! This is a world-famous painting! Look at what this family has done! Sigh!" Lijuan turned around and went into the bedroom, closing the door behind her.
In the bedroom, the curtains were unusually drawn, and the windows were wide open, leaving a slight chill in the air. The lights from the building across the street were bright, making the room easily visible even without the lights on.
On the bed, the blankets, which were usually a mess, were now folded into neat squares.
Yaping pushed the door open and came in.
"Look at the mess your mom has made of the house! Tell her not to be so diligent and to rest more. Also, we don't need her to clean our room. My underwear from yesterday is gone. Where's the trash can you use to throw away condoms? Did she throw that away too? Why does it go everywhere?"
Lijuan's voice wasn't loud, but she was suppressing her anger. "Little girl, that's not right of you. You changed your own underwear and didn't put it in the washing machine, and now you're unhappy that someone else dries it for you. My mother isn't an outsider. Isn't she doing this for the family? What she said makes sense. Everything costs money, so it's good to be frugal. I already talked to her about the painting. But we have elderly people in the family, so we have to accommodate their aesthetic sense, right? You're a daughter-in-law, and my dad is an old man, and you're both wearing clothes underneath, doesn't that seem a bit impolite? Don't be angry, don't be angry. Go downstairs and eat! Show me a smile! In our family, we don't allow people to put on a show for the elderly."
"Dinner's ready!" Grandma called from downstairs.
Lijuan tried to keep a straight face, but when she entered the restaurant, good heavens! In the center of the table was a basin filled with a stew, vegetables and meat, including large, white, fatty pieces of pork floating on the surface. Two plates of stir-fried vegetables were piled high, each as large as a full moon. Looking at the broth, it was hard to tell whether it was stir-fried or boiled. Lijuan stared at the large, rough porcelain bowl used for feeding livestock and wept silently: Where is my little blue-and-white porcelain bowl with its crackled patterns? How did I end up back on the Long March overnight?
Lijuan poured the rice from the large bowl back into the pot, then took out her own small blue-and-white porcelain bowl from the cupboard. "I can't eat that much, just a bite is enough." She tasted a bite of the vegetables; they were too salty. A cabbage leaf and a mouthful of rice would be Lijuan's dinner tonight. "I'm full, you can continue eating." Lijuan pushed away her bowl and turned to walk towards the living room.
The sounds of the family of three talking drifted from the kitchen. "Your brother-in-law lately..." "Your aunt is looking after the house for us now..." "Your second aunt had surgery last time..." "You know Lao Bai, right? Your dad's former section chief..." Laughter occasionally echoed from the kitchen.
Lijuan felt like a guest in this house, separated from Yaping and the other two by a pane of glass. She could see them clearly, but no water could get in. Of course, if she wanted, she could bypass that glass and splash water in, but the result would likely be that everyone in their family, including herself, would be soaked. It was best to observe from afar; neither too far nor too close, neither too intimate nor too distant, neither too cold nor too hot.
“Since we can’t maintain intimacy, maintaining politeness is good enough,” Lijuan thought. She didn’t want her family relationship to be as artificial as the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law dynamics on TV, where they’re practically begging for each other’s company, nor did she want it to be as vulgar as some shrewish women in alleyways, ready to draw their guns at the slightest provocation. Having finally escaped the small-town circle and moved into an apartment building, she wanted it to reflect the realities of apartment life: a closed door, a warm light filtering through the curtains like a lamp. She defined this urban family life as fundamentally different from the initial enthusiasm she felt when she first met her mother-in-law at Yaping’s house. “The same social relationship can develop in different directions in different cities, regions, and living environments,” Lijuan concluded, elevating the discussion to a theoretical level.
"Life is like pork stew with vermicelli," Lijuan typed late at night in front of her computer. "A one-pot meal is the most convenient way to live. It omits the embellishments of three or four dishes; the key is to be full. Simplicity is a beautiful word to describe this lifestyle." Lijuan suddenly had an inspiration and decided to create a feature on fast-paced, simplified urban life based on her current lifestyle, advocating frugality. Perhaps, behind the bright lights and glamorous clothes of countless homes, how many people are wearing patched underwear and using rags cut from old cotton sweaters—we just can't see it. Lijuan runs the "Life" supplement at a newspaper, covering everything related to daily life—eating, drinking, housing, shopping, and the mundane aspects of life in Shanghai.
"This won't do! Send it back for rewriting. Who asked you to be so thrifty? If you're so frugal, which furniture or real estate developer will advertise here?" The supplement editor's face immediately darkened. "What's your job? To promote enthusiasm, to ignite desire! Buy! Buy! Buy! You recommend whatever's fashionable, you praise whatever's expensive. We run a newspaper not for ordinary people, but for advertisers. We only succeed when advertisers are satisfied. With you like this! It's like pork stew with cabbage! Who would still be interested in eating at a restaurant? If we relied on selling a newspaper to the public for five cents a month, my newspaper would have closed down long ago! Suncity just sent a payment, asking us to recommend their club-style apartments. Go and compile a special issue discussing how club-style apartments will be the future direction of housing development in Shanghai. The materials are here. Go, go!" The editor was still furious.
Lijuan glanced at the large red characters on the wall behind the editor-in-chief: "Run a newspaper for the people, run a good newspaper." She smiled bitterly to herself, then turned and left.
“Life is like the sunshine of Hawaii, shining brightly all year round. The Sun City-style resort apartments have given us a new concept of club apartments.” Lijuan returned to her computer and started typing again.
So-called life is just a performance.
Lijuan felt that her job had nothing to do with her life; it was just a case of putting up a show. Compared to a copy editor, she was more like a drug dealer with the title of attending physician, or an electric toothbrush salesman in a suit on the street.
six.
Lijuan returned home burdened by her second boss's accusations and unfinished work, her lips pouting like two Taiwanese sausages. "Yaping! I'm so sad!" she cried as she entered the door. "Yaping's not coming home for dinner; he'll be working overtime until 10 pm," her mother-in-law said, standing at the door to take her bag. "Why didn't he call me?" Lijuan asked. "Isn't it the same as calling home? Just knowing is enough. Eat, eat!"
Lijuan's appetite vanished as soon as she stepped into the kitchen. On the table lay yesterday's leftover pork stew with cabbage; today, perhaps only some vermicelli had been added. The pork had probably been used up yesterday, so all that was left was cabbage and vermicelli soup. Next to it was a small bowl of scrambled eggs with tomatoes. The bright red tomatoes were vibrant, while the few scattered eggs looked sparse. "Eat, eat!" her mother-in-law urged, constantly piling vermicelli into Lijuan's bowl. Her father-in-law didn't even glance at the leftovers, his chopsticks only reaching for the tomatoes.
"Mom, didn't you buy groceries today?"
"I bought it. I put the braised pork on the stove to stew, but as soon as Yaping said he wasn't coming back, I turned off the stove. Nobody's home, so I don't have to work so hard. There are still some leftovers from yesterday, we'll make do with that, and we'll eat something new tomorrow. Eat, eat!" Lijuan sneered inwardly. Hmph, nobody's home? Am I not human? Aren't you human? Is only your son human? She remembered the jokes Yaping used to tell Lijuan, saying that women in their area had no status. If their husbands weren't home and someone knocked on the door, they wouldn't even open it, just say, "Nobody's home!" She used to find it hilarious, but now that it was happening to her, it wasn't funny at all.
Yaping's mother held a plate of leftover stir-fried cabbage from yesterday. The green leaves had been picked clean yesterday, leaving only a pile of pale, wilted, wrinkled stalks. Because it hadn't been heated, it was covered with a layer of lard; the oil Yaping's mother used to stir-fry the cabbage was skimmed from the meat broth. "Why didn't you throw away yesterday's vegetables?" Lijuan asked.
"Why throw it away? It's neither spoiled nor bad, what a waste! I'll eat it, I'll eat it."
"Then you have to heat it up! Eating it cold will upset your stomach."
"What's so hot about it? These few vegetable leaves aren't even worth a penny. The rice is piping hot. Mix the two together, and it'll be just right."
"Why bother, Mom! It's not like we can't afford vegetables. Yaping will be sad if you do this. A bunch of vegetables only costs a few cents, and eating fresh vegetables is healthier."
"It's not about the money, it's about not wasting it! You've never experienced hardship. You don't know, back in the 1960s, you couldn't even find decent grass roots, let alone vegetable scraps! We don't have much money, but every penny counts, right? There will be many expenses later! When I lived with my mother-in-law, the women didn't eat at the table. The good, fresh, meaty dishes were all for the men. The women ate the leftovers. The men had to work hard, they couldn't afford to be weak. It didn't matter if we ate a little more or a little less, as long as we were full."
“Mom, I don’t eat leftovers. My dad used to eat them. After we got married, anything left over from a meal was thrown away. I can’t eat this.” Lijuan thought for a moment, then couldn’t hold back and decided to speak up. She could obviously have just listened and ignored it, but she felt that speaking out was a statement. Otherwise, it would be an admission of her subordinate status at home, which was unacceptable to Lijuan. In Shanghai, which family wasn’t the woman in charge? Husbands treated them like precious treasures. Lijuan’s mother, for example, would have her father remove the bones from a piece of fish before eating it. Lijuan didn’t want Yaping to be subservient, but she also didn’t want to be trampled on. Equality—that’s very important. If no one wants to eat leftovers, no one wants to eat them; if no one wants to do chores, no one wants to do them. If someone lowers themselves in terms of dignity from the very beginning, the marriage has no meaning.
"Oh dear! I was just saying, I didn't tell you to eat! I'll eat, I'll eat!" The mother-in-law hurriedly hugged the empty plate back to her hands and even soaked the leftover soup in the rice.
"Look at this house you have. Even though you've moved in, you still have a 20-year mortgage to pay off! 20 years! By the time you finish paying it off, you'll be an old man or woman, burdened by this debt. You'll feel uncomfortable all the time. You should pay it off as soon as possible! How much is your mortgage interest rate?"
"Around 5 points!"
“Look at this, this is what it means to live off other people’s money. Earning 50% a year, that’s 50% in ten years, and more than double in 20 years! It’s like working for the bank. If I were you, I wouldn’t be able to sleep. If you ask me, save where you can, pay it off as soon as possible so you won’t feel guilty.”
"Mom, that's how it is these days. Who pays for a house in full upfront? That's for nouveau riche. If you don't buy now, it'll be even more expensive later. You know yourself, our house has almost doubled in value since we bought it. It's like earning back the bank interest over the next 20 years. If you don't enjoy life now and save money to pay off the mortgage, you won't have enough to eat or wear, you won't eat well, and you might even get sick from overworking. Isn't that even more unwise? You need to change your mindset. Now it's all about people. If you're a good person, everything will be good. You need to live a quality life."
“You young people! Sigh! You’ve never suffered. Where I’m from, we say you always have to keep sweet potatoes in the cellar, and you have to be prepared for the future. You have to plan ahead for everything. There will be so many expenses later! We don’t have children yet, but once we have them, every little thing costs money, so we have to prepare in advance.” The mother-in-law shoveled rice into her bowl with a few rotten vegetable leaves. “Then don’t have children. Have them when you don’t feel the burden of raising them. You have to take care of yourself first before you can take care of anything else. Like before, the whole family shared one pair of pants, and then had broods of children. Isn’t that just asking for trouble? It’s not just the adults who suffer, the children suffer too! If you have children, you have to be responsible for them. If you can’t give them a good life, it’s better not to have them at all.” As soon as Lijuan finished speaking, her father-in-law started coughing loudly until his face turned red. He slammed down his chopsticks and walked out of the kitchen. Lijuan rolled her eyes and didn’t say anything.
Lijuan and her mother-in-law ate quietly. Her father-in-law turned and came in again, tilting his head, his voice laced with anger. "How can a person live a life where they only think about their own comfort? People have social responsibilities. Your responsibilities aren't just about living well, eating your fill, and enjoying life. You have elderly parents to care for, and children to contribute to society and carry on the family line. Things aren't like they used to be; the government is now in charge. Even if you don't have many, you should at least have one child, right? Whether it's a boy or a girl, how much effort or money will it cost you? Besides, we old folks are still healthy and can help you. With such good conditions, why aren't you having children? What kind of thinking is this?" The old man pounded his hand on the table in front of Lijuan, making a loud thumping sound. Lijuan lowered her head and remained silent. She neither nodded nor argued.
"Alright, alright, stop gossiping! Who said you didn't want it? You want it, you want it, but you can't just ask for it today and expect it to come to you today! Have you finished eating? If you have, go watch TV!" Ya Ping's mother tried to smooth things over. Ya Ping's father coughed loudly as he went into the living room.
"Lijuan, don't mind your father. That's just how he is; he can get angry in an instant. We can talk about the child later. No rush, no rush," her mother-in-law gently comforted Lijuan.
Before Lijuan could say anything, a dark shadow fell over her heart. Her in-laws had only been here for two days, and Lijuan already felt that life was like a bone with bits of meat stuck in it, a bit hard to chew.