Unable to breathe

Chapter 29

In the dead of night, when no one is around, just thinking about the beautiful things I've experienced gives rise to courage from the bottom of my heart, making me fearless. Lili thought, fear all comes from within; we scare ourselves. It's as if we're born with two doors in our hearts. Opening one door brings only beauty and courage; but if you accidentally open the other door, you become a coward.

Long ago, there was a very wealthy man who kept all his property deeds, land deeds, stocks, jewelry, and diamond rings inside a porcelain pillow. He slept with it every night and dreamed every night of marrying a new wife. One night, his neighbor's house caught fire, and the fire spread to his house. Seeing the flames and smelling the smoke, he quickly got up, dressed, grabbed the porcelain pillow from his bed, and ran outside, watching his house burn from a distance. The neighbor was puzzled and asked him why he wasn't putting out the fire but just watching. He sighed and said, "Out with the old, in with the new. If the old house burns, it burns; I'll just build a new one. Fire brings good fortune!" But the neighbor was still curious and asked him again, "Then why are you carrying a chamber pot?" The wealthy man looked down and was immediately horrified. He opened his mouth but couldn't utter a word before collapsing to the ground.

Her father had told her this story many times when she was little, always as a joke. But tonight, she realized it wasn't funny at all, and she began to feel its weight and terror. Later, in an interview, Lili told me, "Who doesn't have fear? Everyone has fears, everyone has their own biggest fear, and everyone knows what they're most afraid of."

I believe what Lili said.

All of this is just a part of what actually happened that night. In fact, you may have had similar experiences. Don't believe me? Then think about it carefully. Still don't believe me? Then try it yourself in a dark stairwell tonight, if you have the courage.

Story: The water in the darkness flowed like blood.

No one expected that the paintings on the wall would frighten so many people, causing fewer and fewer people to come to eat.

This is a small restaurant, tucked away in a narrow alley. It has only six tables and serves breakfast and dinner. Most of the customers are local residents, and occasionally tourists who have gotten lost and are on a tight budget will come in for a meal. The food is obviously just average, but it's definitely cheaper than food in bustling city centers—and not just a little cheaper, but much cheaper. Otherwise, who would come here? These days, you get what you pay for.

The female restaurant owner is a single woman from out of town, who looks to be in her early thirties. She's the kind of woman who isn't conventionally beautiful or ugly; even if you've seen her twice, you might not recognize her on the street. Saying she's single doesn't mean she's still a virgin or a young woman, but rather that she runs the restaurant alone, and no one knows whether she's married or unmarried. This kind of thing is becoming increasingly common in cities. A woman living alone doesn't mean she's unmarried; and being unmarried doesn't mean she hasn't had a man or doesn't understand marriage.

As the restaurant had been open for a while, the local residents all knew her name was Liu Li, but no one called her Boss Liu anymore; they all just called her Liu Li. She didn't like being called Boss Liu either, probably because of the word "old" in it. How many girls like being called "old"? Unless they're mentally ill. Liu Li, who didn't like being called Boss, only had one head chef and one waitress. When there were many customers and she couldn't handle it all, Liu Li herself was the boss, the person issuing invoices, and the waitress all at the same time.

Even the worst restaurants have their own core customer base: repeat customers who, for various reasons, have to come back often. Take that man in his fifties, for example. He heard his wife had recently run off to Guangzhou to do business, and he couldn't afford to eat out every day, so he came to Liu Li's restaurant daily. Don't let Liu Li's ordinary appearance fool you; her restaurant, Shili Xiang, has a prestigious name. Shili Xiang also offers discounts to regular customers, but they're done discreetly. They can't openly offer discounts, or it would cause trouble. People would say, "You give him a discount, but not me? Do you think I have something to hide?" That would be difficult. So they subsidize through hidden means, like larger portions, extra wine, or rounding down the bill. These vague standards are hard to enforce precisely, but fortunately, Liu Li doesn't let others handle these crucial matters; she, as the manager, personally takes charge, which avoids many implementation difficulties.

For a while, almost every night a man would park his bicycle against the wall by the door, come in, find a corner at the back, and sit down. If you saw him and went to ask him to order, he would order. If you were too busy to serve him, he wouldn't say a word and would just sit there silently until you noticed him. He would always order either mapo tofu or dried tofu with green peppers, plus a bowl of rice. After finishing his meal, he would find a toothpick and sit there endlessly picking his teeth. When he left, he would always nod and say thank you to Liu Li and the waiter.

Since he had been there several times before, Liu Li added extra to his order of stir-fried green peppers and dried tofu, and personally brought it to the table for him.

He noticed and nodded repeatedly, saying thank you several times.

After finishing his meal, he had nothing to do. This time, instead of picking his teeth, he took out a pen from his pocket and started scribbling on the menu on the table.

This caught the waitress's attention. No one who came to eat here ever carried a pen; who were the cultured ones? She hadn't expected this unassuming man to have a pen in his pocket, writing wherever he went. It reminded her of some genius artist she'd seen on TV. Only after he'd finished scribbling and left did the waitress realize he hadn't written any famous pieces; instead, he'd scribbled all over the menu. She exclaimed, "How annoying! This menu is useless now!"

Liu Li got anxious when she heard this. Running a small shop with a feather duster, what wouldn't she be calculating? She immediately came over to take a look. After looking around, her furrowed brows finally turned into a wide smile, and then into a hearty laugh. She kept saying, "Oh my god! There's no hope! That's how she calls me!" Unexpectedly, Liu Li was a discerning talent scout. Her words left the waitress speechless, like a fish thrown onto the shore.

Liu Li handed the menu to him and said, "Take a good look at this! I still need to thank him tomorrow!"

The waiter stared at it for a long time, still confused. He said, "How did this spicy diced chicken turn into 'looking for chickens in the red-light district'? Alfalfa and eggs like Guan Yu versus Qin Qiong? Stir-fried soybean sprouts and mung bean sprouts like 'pulling and pulling'? Stir-fried green peppers and eggs like 'male and female lovemaking'? How can it be male and female lovemaking? Are the green peppers male and the eggs female? Is the roast chicken completely naked? Is the candied sweet potato sticky and inseparable? What is this nonsense?"

Unexpectedly, Liu Li couldn't stop laughing, saying that his thing was beyond saving! You little brat, you know that the green pepper is male and the egg is female, how can others not understand? Suddenly, the waitress's face seemed to be on fire.

He simply didn't believe a woman like her could be honest and not seek out men for sex. Did she not need to? Unless she couldn't find anyone. He didn't change the menu for her because he expected her to use it; he just wanted to seduce her, see if she was a decent woman, and see if he could hook her. Every night, he sat in the corner watching Liu Li sway her big hips as she walked around, and he felt she was no pushover; he was sure he could get her. Big breasts, big hips, big body—that means a strong body, and a strong body means a strong libido; she wants to seek out men for sex. How many women don't want to seek out men? Wanting men but wanting to act all virtuous—as long as you seduce her, she's sure to take the bait.

He would hide in a corner and watch her every day, and the more he watched, the more he felt she was improper. Every day he saw her exchanging flirtatious glances at the men who came to eat. However, these thoughts only existed at that time. When he saw that the menu had been altered into a mess, he became afraid. He hurriedly slipped out of the Shili Xiang Restaurant with his head down, not even daring to say thank you. He was afraid that if he came back to eat there, they would kick him out.

He never dared to eat at Shili Xiang Restaurant again. That day, at the market, he bumped into a waitress from Shili Xiang Restaurant. She was carrying a lot of groceries and two whole chickens. She nudged him and said, "Teacher, why aren't you eating here anymore? Our Sister Liu has told you several times that she'd like to invite you back!"

Startled, he stared at her blankly, unsure whether the little girl was mocking or laughing at him.

Come over tonight, teacher! I'll tell Sister Liu to cook you some nice dishes. Sister Liu said she wanted to thank you for the delicious names of the dishes!

Only then did he realize it was good news: he had actually become a teacher.

That night, he ate four delicious dishes and drank a bottle of beer without spending a penny. A bottle of beer was enough to make him perform exceptionally well. He picked up the menu, which had been reprinted according to his own handwriting, and said, "What's this? This is nothing! A piece of cake!"

He looked around at the bare walls and said, "Look, I'll paint some pictures for you and put them on the wall to elevate your style!"

Liu Li was taken aback. "What? You're so capable? You can even paint? That's great!" But she immediately shook her head. "Forget it! My little restaurant can't afford it."

He patted his chest and said, "Since you think so highly of me today, I'll be a good friend to you. We're friends, and friends help each other out, even if it's just for free!"

"Such a good thing?" Liu Li was overjoyed. She asked, "What do you need? Paper, paint, pens—just tell me, and I'll go buy them for you!"

"No need, no need!" He waved his hand, implying that even if he tried to buy it, he wouldn't understand! He already has everything!

Within a few days, a painting was hung on the wall. He asked Liu Li what she thought. Liu Li thought it was great since she hadn't spent any money to add color to the white wall. A few days later, paintings appeared on both walls as well.

People are busy eating and leaving as soon as they finish. Who has the time to look at the paintings on the wall? No one even notices when a few paintings are added to the wall.

Liu Li, on the other hand, would point to the wall and say to everyone she met, "I hired a painter to paint this. What do you think?"

As more and more people asked, it was only then that some noticed there were indeed three new paintings on the wall. Although some people glanced at them, they simply smiled after looking at them, unable to say whether they were good or bad.

One night it was raining heavily. Several customers finished their meal in a hurry and left. There were no more customers in the house. Liu Li sat there in a daze when she saw the painter rush in like a drowned rat. She immediately said happily, "I bought so many vegetables today for nothing. Well, since no one is coming, let's eat by ourselves. Let's cook some good dishes!"

A table full of dishes was laid out, and the head chef was called out. Together with the waiter, the four of them sat down at the table, with liquor and beer placed on it.

Liu Li said, "Anyway, we have nothing else to do today, so let's roll up some pancakes with our fingers and eat them ourselves! The painter is one of us, so thank you for today!"

After a couple of beers, Liu Li perked up and said, "I asked the customers, and they all said your paintings are amazing! I never knew you had such talent!"

He drank two beers and said, "What's this? This is nothing! A piece of cake!"

Liu Li immediately toasted the painter and drank another glass of beer. As soon as she put the glass down on the table, his face turned red. He turned around and stared at Liu Li with wide eyes, not blinking, until Liu Li got flustered. She blushed and could only smile foolishly, but he grabbed her right hand.

In front of everyone, Liu Li was unsure whether to take her hand back and was at a loss for what to do. Instead, he turned her palm over and examined it closely.

Liu Li laughed again. It turned out he wanted to read my palm!

You can read palms? How come you know everything?

Liu Li's face beamed with joy.

"Now, you have a benefactor to help you," he said.

What benefactor? I don't believe it! Why would a benefactor come to help me?

Liu Li said this, but her face was beaming with a smile more beautiful than any flower.

You don't believe me? I'll tell you what I mean!

How do I know what you're saying?

Alright! Enough with the big stuff, let's get to the small stuff. I'll show you what I'm capable of!