Unable to breathe

Chapter 56

During the punishment, an angry prisoner banged his handcuffs on the iron bed, while another banged on the cell door. Hearing the commotion, the resting guards rushed to reinforce the officers on duty. Their faces flushed with excitement, they ran down the corridor, dragging the protesting prisoners out of their cells, stripping them of their clothes, surrounding them, and beating them with batons until they had nowhere to hide. Later, a creative guard brought in a high-pressure water cannon. Grinning, they sprayed the three prisoners with powerful jets of water; the water immediately created dents in their flesh, and within minutes, they were lying motionless on the ground. Only then did the guards' abuse stop.

That night, the guards on duty refused to open the cells to let the prisoners relieve themselves, resulting in a foul stench throughout the prison. This infuriated the guards, who then gathered a lot of waste newspapers and burned them in the corridor. They then retreated outside, causing the prisoners to cough and snot in their eyes.

By the fifth day, a clear divide had emerged among the prisoners. Most were able to calmly watch others being abused, and some even gloated over the abuse, cheering on the abusive police officers. When invited by the police, they even happily participated in the abuse of their fellow prisoners.

By the sixth day, some prisoners had become mentally unstable, and even those who were still relatively normal were smashing beds and doors, strongly demanding that the experiment be stopped immediately.

The psychological experiment, originally planned for two weeks, had to be stopped after only six days. The prisoners had become passive, submissive, depressed, frustrated, fearful, and desperate, or irritable, moody, and prone to abusing others. Their bodies had weakened, and they were unrecognizable from their initial participants. Their mental state was on the verge of collapse. Meanwhile, the guards gradually learned to derive pleasure from insulting, intimidating, and inhumanely treating the prisoners, finding satisfaction in their unconditional obedience; they became arrogant, fierce, and cruel, each acting like a sadist.

During the simulation experiment, psychology professor Philip Zimbardo closely observed the activities of the "guards" and "prisoners" and their conflicts through closed-circuit television and recording devices. He also regularly convened one-on-one conversations and exchanges with them to obtain all the information about the experiment. However, he also had to admit that the simulation experiment had to be stopped unconditionally, otherwise it could lead to disaster.

It was later said that although the experiment lasted only six days, the 14 prisoners believed for a long time that they had actually been imprisoned and would often wake up from nightmares.

The experiment was later criticized by the public as "extremely inhumane" and "harmful to human nature," and no one dared to continue it.

The couple always argued, whether they were poor or rich. When they were poor, they argued because life was tough and they were in a bad mood; when they were rich, they still argued because although life was better, they weren't as well-off as those with houses, cars, mistresses, and grandfathers. The elders often tried to advise them, but they got annoyed and stopped talking to them. When the arguments couldn't go on, they got a divorce! These days, divorce is easier than buying a pair of shoes. To buy a good pair of shoes, you have to go to several stores to compare prices, right? With divorce, you only need to go to one store; there's no need to haggle at three different places.

Since they were divorced, they were no longer in contact. The boy stayed with his father, and of course, his mother couldn't see him. They wanted to make him suffer! They wanted to teach him a lesson! They wanted to punish him! From then on, the boy never saw his mother again. However, his father didn't care about the boy either, continuing his life of debauchery and hanging out with his friends. His grandparents were responsible for taking him to and from kindergarten. When the boy started elementary school, his grandmother had passed away, and his grandfather, though struggling to care for himself, still did his best to look after his grandson.

Some people think that having a son makes them a father. But that's not the case. Even with an only child, you're not a true father. This kind of father is not a good father. He's in a bad mood, often drinks heavily, and when he's drunk, he checks his son's homework. If it's not up to standard, the child gets beaten, leaving bruises all over his body.

My grandfather was in poor health. He had worked in a factory his whole life, but the factory manager bought him out for a few dollars. The factory sent him home, and the few dollars he earned each month weren't enough to support himself. He watched as his son got divorced, and his family was suddenly torn apart. From then on, his son also became irresponsible and suffered a stroke in a fit of anger, and could no longer take care of himself.

The boy is in elementary school. He needs to eat when he's hungry and wear clothes when he's cold. There are so many miscellaneous fees to pay, such as tuition, book fees, class fees, heating fees, sponsorship fees, school uniform fees, Teacher's Day fees, and extracurricular activity fees. What should he do?

The boy in the class was the most greedy, and the one who dressed the worst. Nobody wanted to associate with him, nobody wanted to be his friend. The teacher didn't like him either, often criticizing and mocking him. He often hid away to cry—in the woods, in dilapidated buildings under demolition, on construction sites, by the roadside. He often sat by the roadside, lost in thought, watching parents walk with their children, watching adults carrying bags of food and drinks after get off work, watching men and women getting in and out of cars, watching everyone's happiness on the street, desperately trying to suppress his own unhappiness. He would watch until he was dizzy, then go home to sleep, sometimes waking up crying from nightmares. In his dreams, he was always running alone, unable to catch anyone—his grandma, his grandpa, his dad, his mom. But in his dreams, his mom always had her back to him, so he had never seen what she looked like. He couldn't catch his classmates, he couldn't catch his teachers either. Actually, he liked everyone now, and he couldn't bear to leave anyone. He thought everyone was lovable, as long as they were good to him. However, even his neighbors avoided him, saying hurtful things behind his back that he could hear as he walked by, and telling their children to stay as far away from him as possible.

The neighbor said, "Don't follow his example. He's a child raised by a mother but not taught by one. Stay as far away from him as possible. Look at all the bad things he does."

He had the most nicknames in class: glutton, poor bastard, pawnbroker, gangster, garbage truck, dog poop, booger, cat pee, cigarette butt, little cripple, little beggar...

Wherever he was, no one else was there. Anyone who sat next to him became the object of ridicule, and anyone who spoke to him was mocked. He became a pariah.

His classmate said to him, "You're always borrowing money. Do you have the money to pay it back? When will you have money? When you grow up, where will I find you? What do you have? Notebooks, pens, correction fluid—you borrow everything. You have nothing, not even your parents! We have things you don't, and we don't have things you have."

He cried so much that he finally cried all his tears. He often heard people mocking him for being the most ruthless, and after school he would ambush them at the school gate and fight them to the death. Was he ever well-fed? Was he ever eating well? He was thin and small, and often his face and body were covered in blood and bruises, but he didn't care. It seemed that the pain made him forget his suffering, and the fighting gave him a sense of satisfaction, a sense of victory that no one could insult him anymore. After fighting so many times, his classmates were afraid of him, because they saw a terrifying hatred in his eyes, and a ferocity they had never seen in eyes they knew before. When he glared at them alone, no one dared to look at him anymore.

He no longer cared what anyone said about him. After school, he would wait in secluded spots and rob his classmates of their money and belongings. He needed to eat, he needed to wear clothes, he needed to live.

The children's parents came forward together. If this continues, one bad fish will spoil the whole pot of soup. His parents have given up entirely, but we can't! Our children are all good children, pillars of the future. We can't let this bad kid continue to cause trouble, making the good children afraid to go to school. The school must take decisive action, or it will bear all the consequences! Seeing the parents come to the school, and hearing it was about him, he was so frightened he hid in the stinking toilet and wouldn't come out.

What will the consequences be? The parents haven't said, and they don't need to. Who doesn't have connections these days? Getting consequences for you is easy. As long as you have power, or money, you can get whatever consequences you want. And these consequences are serious. Do you know who's in charge? Do you know who might become what tomorrow morning? Or who might suddenly become the richest person tonight? Except for that unruly kid with no connections, the rest are all unpredictable, and none of them are worth offending.

The parents have conveniently provided the school with a convenient excuse. Which student and their parents haven't contributed to the school? What contribution has he made? No class wants him, fearing he'll drag down the class's grades or cause trouble. Which child doesn't give gifts on teachers' birthdays, Teacher's Day, and holidays? Many teachers are all smiles during those days. Don't expect him to give anything in return; you're lucky if he doesn't ask you for money. Even during the New Year, he can't even offer a calendar to his beloved teacher. It's really indifferent to keep such a student.

Hearing that the teacher wanted to talk to him, he was so scared that he didn't dare to move. But the teacher grabbed him by the collar and pulled him into the office. The teacher said, "You don't need to come to school anymore. When it's time for you to graduate, the school will definitely issue you a graduation certificate. If you really don't trust the school, we can even make you a graduation certificate now."

He didn't cry or say anything; he just turned and left the office.

He hid in the dilapidated house and cried. He couldn't hate the principal, nor could he hate the school. He knew he was no good, but he was powerless to change anything. He longed for a home, even just a father, a mother, or even a grandfather who could move would be enough. But he had nothing. He didn't know what to do, who to turn to. He couldn't understand why he saw wealthy children spending money like water, taking even what they threw away, though he couldn't ask for it directly. Why were there so many rich people, while he had nothing? Even if it meant he could repay them when he grew up, people only cared about the money and things in front of them. Who cared about his future self?

What can he do if he can't go to school? He's too young to wander the streets. He can't find anyone to play with; no one will play with him. All the good kids who have food and clothes avoid him, keeping their distance.

He found a wonderful place, cool when it was hot and warm when it was cold. There, no one discriminated against him anymore, no one mocked him anymore. He had his own world, a world where he was independent, where he could forget his pain, forget the past, and not think about the future. Here, he was no longer lonely or alone.

This is the internet cafe he frequents now.

Going to an internet cafe costs money, though it's not too expensive now. He went to the mall to ask for money, he sold his belongings, he collected scraps to exchange for money, and with the money he would buy whatever he could to fill his stomach, and then rush off to play games online.

He only had five yuan that day. He had to keep two yuan for himself so he could have a bowl of tofu pudding and a fried dough stick, which would cost one yuan and thirty cents. He would then keep the remaining seven cents for what to eat for breakfast the next day.

As I went to pay at the counter after finishing my internet session, I heard the sound of a car engine stopping outside the internet cafe. The young man at the counter announced, "The boss is here! The boss is here!" He quickly shoved the money I'd paid into the drawer, saying, "Wait a moment, I'm going to pick up their female boss." A strong scent of perfume wafted into my nose, making me uncomfortable, and I wrinkled my nose. I watched the young man accompany the beautiful, elegant female boss around the cafe, and asked, "Is there a problem?" The young man said, "No problem at all." The female boss said, "Damn! How can there be no problem? I saw the problem as soon as I came in, and you're still lying?" The young man deflated and didn't dare say another word. The female boss said, "I have over a hundred machines, and how many people are there? I counted, and there aren't even 30 people all night! Do you even want to stay in business?"

The female boss answered a phone call and said, "Okay, okay, I'm coming right now!" Then she turned and walked out.

He panicked. Every night, the female boss would lock the door, and if he didn't leave, he'd be trapped. He hurriedly grabbed the young man, saying, "Quick, give me my change! I need to go out to eat!" The young man asked, "What change? Didn't you pay?" He said, "I gave you five yuan, and you haven't given me two yuan back!" The young man asked, "Why should I give you change?" He said, "My time on the machine costs three yuan, so you still need to give me two yuan back!" The young man said, "Go away! Aren't you annoying? Who saw you give me five yuan? If you said a hundred yuan, it would be even more troublesome!" He said, "I didn't say I had a hundred yuan, I only had five. You have to give me the two yuan; I need to go eat!" The young man said, "According to the rules, you're underage and shouldn't be allowed in. Letting you in is already a huge favor; why are you making such a fuss?" He said, "Favor my foot! If you don't let me in, who will you make money from? You're an idiot!"

The female boss said from outside the door, "Are you ever going to shut up? You can't even handle such a trivial matter, what kind of person are you?"

The young man immediately pushed the thin, small man out the door, and the female boss immediately locked the door.

He stood at the entrance of the Happy Internet Cafe, reluctant to leave. He knew he'd never get his two yuan back. They all treated him so carelessly, doing whatever they wanted to him. He was destined to suffer their bullying forever. He sat by the roadside, nowhere to go. He'd go hungry tonight, and tomorrow morning, both meals taken away by those despicable scoundrels. Did they know what hunger felt like? Had they ever gone hungry? These good-for-nothing bastards deserved to die a horrible death!

The streets were bustling with traffic. He knew those rushing home were there for their loved ones and their favorite meals; those hurrying out were there for their loved ones and their favorite things to do. They were all busy, they all had food, drink, and people to love. He was the only one in the world unwanted and uncared for, the only one superfluous. But he hadn't grown up yet. He needed to grow up; he wanted a home too… He didn't know when the tears would fall. He only knew that having a home was as difficult as climbing to heaven for him. He didn't even know what tomorrow would bring!

He feared nothing but an empty stomach. He had neither the will nor the energy to go anywhere. A child's hunger is different from an adult's; a child is growing, so he eats more and gets hungry faster than an adult. No child should have to endure hunger. He had only eaten a small meal at noon, and he was already starving.

When he woke up, he found himself asleep on the side of the road, cold and damp, with waves of pain in his stomach, as if it had been hollowed out. He wanted to just sleep, but the stomach pain wouldn't let him. The street was deserted; even with two yuan now, he couldn't afford the cheap tofu pudding and fried dough sticks. He would have to wait until dawn, until he could get another yuan and thirty cents, otherwise he would remain hungry indefinitely.

The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. Why did he have to cheat me out of two yuan? Why could he be so unreasonable to me?

There were some cars across the street. He walked over, unsure of what he wanted to do. After circling around, he saw a two-wheeled motorcycle with an unlocked fuel tank. He shook it and found there was still gasoline inside. He thought, "This is great!"

Suddenly, he felt a surge of energy, ran around, found a beverage bottle, knocked the motorcycle over, and filled the bottle with gasoline.

He groped his way home in the dark and found the matches.

Back at the Happy Internet Cafe, he stood in front of the door and laughed. "This time, I'll show you what I'm capable of. I'll scare you to death. I'll make that lousy boss fire you. I'll make sure you stop bullying people!"

The gasoline was poured under the locked door and immediately flowed inside.

He struck a fire and lit it, watching the leaping flames quickly disappear under the door. He had never been so happy; this was his first act of revenge against the adult world.

As if understanding his intentions, the fire entered the room and never came out again, spreading throughout the entire Happy Internet Cafe.