"You want me to master this unparalleled swordsmanship so I can protect you?" I felt this was very unlike him. A grown man like him, did he expect me to protect him in the future? I was a little disappointed.
He glared at me hatefully: "I'm not asking you to protect me, I'm asking you to protect yourself. If anything happens to you, I'll be the one who gets hurt, do you understand?"
I roughly understood, but I couldn't believe it, so I forced myself to hum, "I don't understand."
In this respect, I have learned a great deal from my master: when faced with a situation that is difficult to handle, it is essential to pretend to be confused or bewildered.
He grabbed my wrist, gripping it like an iron clamp, and gritted his teeth, saying, "Xiao Mo, you're really good at making people angry, really good at it!"
"It's alright, it's alright." I awkwardly pulled my wrist away little by little, a strange sense of regret rising in my heart. If only Yunzhou could say a word or two like Jiang Chen.
"Jiang Chen, Yun Mo!" came the shouts of Pastor Lin from not far away.
Jiang Chen raised his longsword and responded.
Soon, Lin Mu ran over, and when he saw me, he was startled.
I felt a little embarrassed, as my clothes at that moment must have looked very much like those of a beggar.
He twitched his lips and said, "Jiang Chen, you're too impatient! In broad daylight, in the wild..."
I understood what Senior Brother Lin meant and was shocked: "No, no!"
"Never mind, never mind, I didn't see anything." Senior Brother Lin waved his hand and took the lead, saying as he walked, "Master is going to say goodbye to Master Yuanzhao and asked me to come find you. Everyone is waiting. Jiang Chen, don't be impatient, there's always another day, hehe."
Jiang Chen lowered his head and pretended to wipe his sword, laughing so hard his arms were shaking.
I immediately felt my face burning up, which was quite embarrassing.
Why does everyone think that Jiang Chen and I have an ambiguous relationship that is hard to explain? Why does no one ever misunderstand me and Yun Zhou? Is he really so high and mighty that even a misunderstanding between us is not considered respectable?
My mouth felt sour and astringent, like I had eaten an unripe green plum. Even though it was hard to swallow, I couldn't bear to spit it out.
When they reached the entrance of Zhuzhi Courtyard, Jiang Chen stopped and said, "I'll go next door to ask Sect Leader Yu to lend you some clothes. You go to your room and wait for me."
I nodded, pushed open the courtyard gate, and passed by my master's room. I heard laughter and cheerful voices drifting out of the window.
"Oh dear, Jiang Chen actually tore Xiao Mo's sleeve off."
"Xiao Mo is so indecisive and slow-witted; we need to use drastic measures to get her to behave."
I stood frozen outside the window, unable to move. A hand reached out from inside and plucked a crabapple blossom from its edge. I had seen that hand countless times, wielding a sword; its bones were uniquely refined, long and clean. A crabapple blossom rested in that jade-like palm. I stared, too stunned to approach.
What would he think of Jiang Chen and me? Jiang Chen leaned against my doorway, looking dashing and charming, his clothes half-open and his hair half-loose, a picture of carefree abandon, like someone who'd just woken up late on a romantic night. And right behind him, my fellow students were chatting and laughing about the funny things that happened between Jiang Chen and me.
I bit my lip tightly, my heart aching slightly. I didn't care who misunderstood me, except for him.
I took a deep breath, my steps heavy as if weighed down by a thousand pounds, and slowly walked to the window. Through the crabapple blossoms, through the window frame, through our worldly identities, through the unspoken love and hidden pain, I forced a smile at him. I didn't know if the smile was forced or natural; I only knew that every time I smiled, my heart ached as if pulled by a thread.
He looked a little haggard, and although he seemed to want to smile back at me, his eyes were pale and almost devoid of any smile.
I awkwardly explained to him, "I encountered some villains by the stream just now, and Jiang Chen saved my life." Actually, I didn't know if he would believe this explanation, but if I didn't say it, I felt uneasy. I didn't want him to misunderstand that my disheveled appearance was because of Jiang Chen.
His expression changed, and he immediately reached out and pushed himself against the windowsill, flipping himself out of the window. The crabapple blossom in his palm fell onto my shoe. The wet shoe was embroidered with orchids, and the crabapple blossom on it was like the finishing touch.
"Are you hurt?" His urgency, concern, anxiety, and worry were like a drop of thick ink falling heavily onto a clean sheet of rice paper, stirring up and blurring my heart. I was momentarily stunned and dazed. He cared about me, but was this the kind of care I wanted?
Jiang Chen's voice came from behind: "Xiao Mo, I've brought the clothes."
I instantly snapped out of it, turned around and said hello, took the clothes from Jiang Chen's hands, and stepped into my room.
Life is unpredictable, and life is like a dream. I've become Jiang Chen's fiancée in the blink of an eye, and in the blink of an eye, I'm taken. Although I'm having a hard time accepting this new relationship, the only good thing is that I can finally give up on Yunzhou completely.
Unfortunately, my heart died only for a moment before something unexpected happened.
One of the young princess's maids, the one I helped out of the predicament yesterday, suddenly ran to me looking very anxious.
"Sister, I've taken some time to come over and say a few words to you. It concerns Young Master Yun."
When I heard that it concerned Yunzhou, I immediately perked up again.
"The princess has always liked Young Master Yun. Yesterday, she summoned him and specifically asked for his opinion. Unexpectedly, Young Master Yun said he already had someone he liked. The princess didn't believe him and insisted that Young Master Yun hand over who that person. Forced into a corner, Young Master Yun said he liked you. That's why the princess came to cause you trouble today. She didn't actually lose anything; she just wanted to embarrass you in public to vent her anger. My princess is a petty person with a bad temper. Sister, you're a good person, so please stay away from Young Master Yun in the future, or the princess will definitely cause you trouble. Take care, sister, I'm leaving."
The little maid finished speaking without taking a breath and then ran off.
I stood there dumbfounded, as if half my soul had been startled away.
No wonder the young princess immediately retreated when she saw Jiang Chen come out of my room, and no wonder she said that to Yunzhou.
Yunzhou, does he really like me? I can't believe it. My mind races, sifting through the years we've spent together like a sieve, but I find nothing of illicit affection. He's always been gentle and polite to me. He never speaks more than ten sentences to me alone. And usually, when he does speak, I'm the one staring at him, while he looks at the ground in front of me.
If he liked me, why didn't he immediately agree when Master proposed to him, but instead drowned his sorrows in alcohol?
If he likes me, why doesn't he ever tell me?
If he liked me, why would he just stand by and watch Jiang Chen and I get engaged so smoothly without doing anything to stop it?
Could it be that he doesn't actually like me, and is just using me as a shield to protect someone else? I went through my past again, and the more I thought about it, the more convinced I became. My heart sank, and I felt extremely miserable. Even if Yunzhou really liked me, I've already had this with Jiang Chen, how could I possibly be with him again?
My heart was in turmoil, filled with mixed feelings. I both hoped that his feelings for me were real, and wished they weren't. Otherwise, how could I bear this cruel twist of fate?
I sighed once again at how unpredictable life is, how fleeting life is, and I was stuck in my room, feeling incredibly conflicted, until Jiang Chen came and knocked on my door.
"Xiao Mo, we're leaving."
I quickly put aside my jumbled thoughts and opened the door. Jiang Chen was taken aback when he saw me, then his gaze immediately softened like a pool of clear water, looking at me tenderly. My heart skipped a beat, and I quickly looked away.
Master and his fellow disciples were waiting in the courtyard. Senior Brother Lin said with a smile, "Xiao Mo looks really beautiful dressed up. She and Jiang Chen are a perfect match."
Everyone laughed and agreed. I hadn't dressed up at all; I'd just borrowed a set of clothes from Master Yu. It was only that this dress was twice the width of my original clothes, and when I took a deep breath, I felt it was very tight at the chest, as if the seams were about to burst. Wearing this kind of clothing was a constant reminder to myself to keep a peaceful mind, or something bad would happen.