The pain in my master's voice grew stronger; I had never seen him like this before. He had always been calm, composed, peaceful, and gentle. He handled all the affairs of the Free and Unfettered Sect with ease and grace. It seemed that even the most serious matters could be resolved with a simple wave of his hand. I loved that composure and calmness. If life could always be like this, how carefree and joyful it would be.
I think my admiration for Yunzhou from the very beginning must have been influenced by him. Jiang Chen is like a meticulously painted peony, while he and Yunzhou are like a lightly sketched orchid. The simple joys of life are the most delightful, and I, in my ignorance, inexplicably fell in love with this kind of taste.
The master turned around and slowly sat down on a rattan chair next to the rocky hill. The rattan chair creaked softly, and a bitter smile appeared on the master's lips: "She always makes me guess. Unfortunately, I'm so stupid, how could I possibly understand her exquisite thoughts?"
Although Master was forcing a smile, I felt that he was on the verge of collapse. What was the cause of his pain? A thought suddenly popped into my mind: Could it be that he liked my mother?
As a junior, asking this question would be disrespectful to both my master and my mother, so I ultimately dared not make any assumptions and quickly dismissed the question.
“Master, when I went to Guiyun Manor this time, I accidentally discovered that the clothes in one of the Jiang family’s shops had the same mark as mine. I asked Madam Qi about it, but she said that the bundle was a gift from her. I think that’s unlikely, because if it was a gift from her, the gold lock and the sword manual inside don’t make sense.”
The master raised an eyebrow: "What kind of mark is it? Where did it come from?"
"The same auspicious cloud pattern is on the collar of the clothes. That shop is owned by the Jiang family."
The master suddenly stood up, his face filled with excitement: "Really?"
"yes."
"Then she must be living in seclusion at Guiyun Manor!"
Really?
Master seemed to come alive again in an instant, his face glowing and his eyebrows raised.
I was also stirred by his expression and became extremely excited.
Master said, “Madam Qi must have known about it. That’s why when you asked her, she took the blame. But she certainly didn’t know that there was something else hidden in the clothes that were your coming-of-age gift this year—a sword manual.”
Indeed, my mother must have been in contact with Lady Qi. Otherwise, why would Lady Qi have taken over the task of delivering the birthday gift without reason? She probably didn't want to expose my mother's whereabouts and didn't want me to ask any further questions, so she gave me that perfunctory answer.
Master rubbed his temples and said, "Don't make this public yet. Let me think about how to find her."
I nodded quickly, wishing I could return to Guiyun Manor immediately and search the ground with my master to find my mother.
Master's eyes were bright and sparkling, but perhaps he was too excited. He stood there for a long time, his brows were red from rubbing, but he still couldn't come up with a solution.
I was getting impatient and asked, "Master, do you really think my mother loves me very much?"
"Of course. Otherwise, she would have just given you away randomly. Why send you to my doorstep? And why send gifts every year? The Chongshan Sword Manual is a treasure that countless people dream of, yet she generously gave it to you. Don't you appreciate this kindness?"
“Well, I have an idea. If Master thinks that Mother is living in seclusion at Guiyun Manor, then I will go back with Jiang Chen. Once we get to the Jiang family, I will spread the word that I was poisoned by Jinbo Palace and my life is in danger. If Mother really cares about me, she will definitely come to see me and bring me the antidote. Master, you can hide in the shadows and wait for her to come to you.”
Master beamed with delight: "This idea is excellent, Xiao Mo, you are indeed smarter than me."
I felt secretly ashamed, but I hoped the idea wasn't bad.
I came out of my master's room and found that my uncles had all gone back to their rooms to rest. I went around to the corridor and sat on the steps, picturing my mother's face in my mind and guessing about her past with my master. Suddenly, I remembered something Yun Zhishi had said: that Yun Zhifei and my master had been trapped in Jinbo Palace, but my mother had secretly released them. It seemed that there must be a story between my mother and my master, and that story must have been tragic.
I sighed softly; love is the most hurtful thing. My master, who is usually so calm and composed, was completely thrown into disarray today upon hearing the instructions left by my mother and seeing the room she had arranged.
"Xiao Mo".
That soft call, seemingly from the distant horizon, was a clear, pure voice, like a mountain stream or a morning breeze. Suddenly, a gust of wind arose, rippling the pond, and I involuntarily turned around, my heart pounding.
Yunzhou stood behind me, as if he had been waiting for me for a long time, or as if he had just arrived here by chance.
A thin fog rose over the sea at night, and the lights under the corridor swayed in the sea breeze. The flickering light, carrying a misty vapor, was cast on his face, making him look as if he were in a dream, serene and distant.
When I saw him, my heart felt a heavy, misty ache, a feeling I couldn't shake off.
I tried my best to keep my tone calm and composed: "Why are you here? I thought you went back to Fujian with Lord Yun."
He took two steps forward and stood in front of me, and slowly said, "Xiao Mo, that night, I was the one who invited you to Qiyue Tower."
I exclaimed in surprise, "It's you!"
I looked at him in surprise. If he was the one who invited me to Qiyue Tower, then why did I meet his father instead?
The lights flickered, and a flame-like light shone brightly in his eyes. "I'm not good with words. Some things linger in my heart, but I don't know how to say them... When I felt my feelings for you and wanted to tell you, you called me 'brother'... You don't know, every time you called me that, my heart grew colder. The words I wanted to say were gradually shut down by you. You're so relaxed and carefree in front of Jiang Chen. But with me, you're so awkward and stiff. I think you see me as a brother... So, I can no longer say those words."
Hearing this, I felt a pang of sadness. At that time, I felt that he was so unapproachable, and that being able to call him "brother" was the limit of how close I could get to him.
“I always thought you liked Jiang Chen, but you suddenly told Master that you wanted to marry me. You don’t know how happy I was that day… I rarely drink, but that day I couldn’t help myself and poured myself a drink. But that joy was only for a short moment. You came back and told me that you were just joking with me.”
His voice lowered in somber mood. My heart felt heavy, as if weighed down by a lead weight, sinking endlessly.
"Later, you enthusiastically acted as a matchmaker for me, and Jiang Chen got engaged to you. I felt so disappointed and sad... I could only stay far away from you, afraid that I would lose my mind."
My mind wandered, immersed in his narration. Scenes from the past slowly unfolded in my mind: for every bit of admiration, there was an equal amount of anxiety and uncertainty; for every test, there was an equal amount of misunderstanding. Perhaps this is what it means to be destined to be apart; no matter how much you yearn for something, you will ultimately miss it.
"I left heartbroken, only to meet you again on the Dragon Boat Festival. You said to me, 'If you like something, why give it away?' At that moment, I finally understood your thoughts..."
I sighed inwardly, for I was no different. It wasn't until I saw the Love-Sickness Dagger that I understood his feelings.
“The arranged marriage failed, and I made up my mind that even if the emperor refused, I wouldn’t give up. That’s why I invited you to Qiyue Tower.” He paused, then continued, “But my father locked me in my room to see you. I later broke a window to get there and overheard his words.” He paused again, “I went there full of hope, only to hear my father’s words. My shock was the same as yours, perhaps even greater. In an instant, I plummeted from the pinnacle of hope to the depths of despair. That was how I felt that day and that night, and to this day, I still remember it clearly, unforgettable. I didn’t believe it, so I went home and questioned my father again. He told me personally that it was indeed Murong Qiao who told him that she was pregnant with my second uncle’s posthumous child. Therefore, my father let her leave and would never make things difficult for her again.”
My eyes stung and swelled, but I stubbornly held back the tears. So he knew everything. I thought I was the only one suffering. This was the only ending for us, destined to be together but not to stay together, just siblings in this life.
His voice was deep and melodious, soft and gentle, gently stirring the heartstrings. The sea breeze fluttered the hem of his clothes and mine, making us look like a pair of seabirds, but unable to fly together.
“At that time, I watched helplessly as you left with Jiang Chen, unable to stop you... That night, I was completely drunk.”
"I spent a few days in a daze, thinking to myself that this time I would really let go and never see you again. I would let time slowly smooth out the words in my heart that I never said and never had the chance to say again. When we meet again in the future, maybe then I can face you and Jiang Chen with equanimity and call you 'little sister' with a smile."
I could no longer hold back my tears, which silently streamed down my cheeks. The sea breeze blew across my stiff, taut skin, making me feel extremely uncomfortable.
He sighed deeply. "However, one day I suddenly received a strange letter. There was only one sentence in the letter, saying that you are not my second uncle's daughter, and that your father is my master."