My Savage Ghost

Chapter 22

Xiaoyuan squinted and shook her head at me, which put my mind at ease. However, once she started shaking her head, it wouldn't stop like a rattle... Oh no! I quickly grabbed her head with my hands and managed to stop it, but thud! Her head fell into the two lamb legs in front of her.

"Your Majesty, my attendant is not a good drinker, so I will help him to rest. General Su Wu will stay here in my place."

The spittoon nodded and turned to Su Wu: "Young man, it's your turn..."

I saw Su Wu's legs trembling incessantly.

"Hahahaha..."

...

Princess Fei Hua followed me out and led me to a tent in the distance.

What a dilemma! Should I carry her on my back or hug her? I thought to myself as I looked at Xiaoyuan. Hugging her would certainly look cool, but I wouldn't be able to get any real pleasure from her. If I carried her on my back... hehehe... she'd be squeezing against my back... haha... That's it, I'll carry her on my back!

Once inside the tent, there was a soft, plush sheepskin bed, and I reluctantly took Xiaoyuan off.

“I’ll go find someone to help him undress,” the princess said.

"Oh no! I can do it myself."

"How can you do that? He's your attendant."

"It's alright, I don't have any class consciousness, I'm very approachable."

"Is that so? Okay then, I'll go out now."

"Thank you, Princess."

"Just call me Fei Hua," the princess said with a gentle smile before leaving the tent. Oh no, I've messed up again. I have a feeling another girl is going to be heartbroken and cry because of me. (Aside: What a shameless feeling.)

Undress me? My hands trembled involuntarily. No, she'll kill me when she wakes up. So, is this it? I stared at Xiaoyuan's upturned nose, and couldn't resist the urge to point at it with my finger. Turns out, everyone has a little bit of a twisted side; a little bit of twistedness is good for mental and physical health! (Aside: Don't make excuses for yourself!)

I listened to her soft, even snoring. Even dressed in men's clothing, her graceful figure was still faintly visible. Strangely, I didn't have any impure thoughts. I just wanted to sit beside her like this forever, even if it meant turning into stone, as long as I could be by Xiaoyuan's side...

"Dongfang Shuo!" Xiao Yuan cried out. "You scared me to death! I was really into my fantasy." "You bastard! Why did you get into the carriage..." She rolled over and went back to sleep.

Oh, she was just talking in her sleep. I breathed a sigh of relief. Wait, what did she just say? Could it be… she's jealous? Haha!! I rushed out of the tent, did a set of Five Elements Fist, danced the "Pa La Pa La" dance for a while, did nine somersaults, and a set of broadcast exercises*, and I still felt excited… It was amazing! All my hard work paid off, I'm so touched! Heaven truly has eyes! (Aside: Chicken eye!)

After venting my anger, I returned to the tent and went to Xiaoyuan's side. I want to protect you! Although I don't have strong muscles, broad shoulders, superb martial arts skills, or amazing strength, none of that matters, because I have a heart that loves you! Thinking about this, I actually fell asleep...

I don't know how much time had passed, but in my hazy state, I seemed to see the candlelight flickering. Could it be that it was already night?

I glimpsed Xiaoyuan had taken off her men's clothes and was fetching a bucket of water to do her hair. She tilted her head slightly, pushed her long, black hair to one side, and held a small wooden comb between her slender fingers. She dipped the comb in water, and the teeth of the comb passed through the countless strands of hair, flowing smoothly to the ends...

What a dreamlike picture of a beautiful woman dressing up! It reminds me of a line from Su Dongpo's poem: "...by the small window, she is dressing her hair. They gaze at each other speechlessly, only tears streaming down their faces..."

"Brother Dongfang... Brother Dongfang!" It was Su Wu calling me furtively outside the window. This guy, he's still alive? What could be wrong so late?

---janeadam

Reply [66]: Chapter Thirty-Three: The Unlucky Su Wu!

"They're calling you, aren't you going? Stop pretending to be asleep," Xiaoyuan said while combing her hair.

Wow! So she knew I was awake. Really, no wonder she only combed her hair and didn't take a bath.

"Hehe... Xiaoyuan, you've probably heard this so many times you're sick of it, but I still have to say it, you are really, really, really beautiful!"

Xiao Yuan's hand suddenly paused! Oh? Could it be that she's shy? It's perfectly normal to be shy after being praised by a handsome man like me. (Aside: Damn it! Can you please stop bragging today? I just drank shark fin soup and ate abalone. I'd be heartbroken if I couldn't hold it in and threw it up.)

"You bastard!" Xiaoyuan looked at the clump of broken hair in her hand with heartache and scolded me, "Don't say such disgusting things again. Do you want me to become a nun?"

"Are my heartfelt words really that disgusting?" I said sadly.

"Ugh! It's even more disgusting than the essence extracted from all of the world's top 100 most hateful things!"

...555...This is so hurtful to my self-esteem.

"...Brother Dongfang..." After Su Wu called my name twenty-eight times, I finally answered. Su Wu was immediately moved to tears. "You finally answered! I thought you would never answer me..."

"How could that be? Don't worry, I'm not that kind of irresponsible man."

"...555...But I'm the kind of woman who gets hurt easily..."

"Hey! What are you two talking about?" Little Yuan was completely baffled.

"Yes, what were we talking about just now?"

"Strange? How come these nonsensical words just came out of my mouth so naturally?"

"Hey! Author! Did you do this? What nonsense are you writing? You made two grown men say those disgusting things!" Dongfang Shuo waved his fist at the screen. "Watch out or I'll beat you up!"

(Author's note: Excuse me, salute! This was just a spontaneous thought...)

"What's the matter? Why are you in such a hurry? Don't you know it's impolite to disturb Xiaoyuan and me so late at night? What if we're just..." I said, but Xiaoyuan suddenly glared at me, her hand gripping the hilt of her sword tightly. "Ah... what if..."

If we're having a great conversation, it's hard to recapture that feeling once the good topic is interrupted.

"Oh... I'm sorry, but I thought you'd be incredibly excited to hear this, so I rushed over without even washing my feet to tell you..."

"What could be so exciting? It's not like I won the lottery. The thing that excites me most right now is being with Xiaoyuan!"

(Narrator: How are you excited? Where are you excited? Answer: I'm excited mentally, of course! Narrator: And physiologically excited too, right?)

"Oh...I was wrong. I'll tell you again tomorrow. I'm going back to sleep now." Su Wu walked away dejectedly. Little did I know that if I had listened to his good advice tonight, it might have changed history and Su Wu's tragic fate. But I didn't listen to him, and by the time I found out the next day, it was too late.

After Su Wu left, Xiao Yuan suddenly stared at me with a lecherous look. Ugh! Why are you looking at me like that? It makes me shy. My face turned bright red and hot, so hot I could fry an egg in it, and it might even burn!

Xiaoyuan slowly, very slowly, brought her beautiful face closer to me. Without makeup, she looked so pure and innocent—truly a natural lychee, a peeled lychee at that! Only a faint little mole on her left cheek. Even God must have felt she couldn't be too perfect, so He deliberately added it there. Damn it! Outrageous! In my mind, I gave the sky the middle finger! Go to hell! That's how Chinese people are; they can't stand seeing others do well.

Xiaoyuan's face was so close to mine, too close. I was worried that if she saw my nose hairs, freckles, and blackheads, it would affect my good image in her eyes... (Aside: You... ugh... my shark fin!)

555……

We looked at each other for a moment, then she smiled gently at me and uttered a few words that smelled sweet: "You shouldn't be sleepy anymore, right..."

What does that mean? Not sleepy? Huh? Does she want to keep me up all night...? I quickly ran out of the tent, looked up, and realized, oh, it's a full moon today! Haha... I quickly ran back inside.

"Hmm! I'm not sleepy anymore..." I'm so excited, the greatest cross-millennial union in human history is about to begin.

"That's good!" Xiao Yuan suddenly blindfolded me with a black cloth, then pressed me to the ground and tied my hands and feet behind my back. Ah! Queen!! I felt a pang of fear, but even more so, a glimmer of anticipation!

"Alright!" I heard Xiaoyuan clapp her hands. "I'm going to take a bath now. You lecherous worm really can't put my mind at ease, so for now, I'll just have to trouble you."

"Waaaaaah~~~~5555……, Xiaoyuan, I'm innocent! I would never have peeked!" I pleaded. "Please untie me."

"Of course you wouldn't, you've always been able to see things clearly, humph!"

"...5555...Xiao Yuan, it seems your misunderstanding of me is deeper than the East African Rift Valley. Actually, I'm a gentleman. I promise I would never peep at you while you're taking a bath. A gentleman's word is his bond!" (Aside: How can you take back a broken promise?)

A: Shh~~ Keep your voice down, she's just a woman, you can only fool her a little. (Aside: You… ugh… my abalone!)

555……）

"I'm sorry! I still can't believe you."

It seems there's no way to fool her now. Luckily, I still have ears. I can listen to the sound of her showering. Just as I finished thinking that, *splat*—two clumps of soft, mushy mud sealed my ears... 555... Only a "female ghost" truly understands me.

When I woke up again, it was already the next morning. My hands and feet were numb, but Xiaoyuan wasn't in the room. That little devil, she didn't even untie the rope for me when she went to the toilet.

“Brother Dongfang…” Su Wu called out from outside.

"Come in quickly!" This time I agreed immediately; I had no choice, I needed him.

"Thank you!" I rubbed my sore arms. "Brother Su, what brings you here so early?"

"Ah? Have you forgotten? I said yesterday that I had something important to say, but you said it was getting in your way. So that's what it was..." Su Wu covered his face with his sleeve and laughed.

"Laugh at you, that girl is a total sadist." I said, walking closer to the big wooden tub. Damn it, I didn't see anything yesterday, only the bathwater to whet my appetite. The tub was empty... 555... I couldn't even see the bathwater.

"By the way, what's so important?"

"Our chance to get promoted and make a fortune has arrived!" Su Wu couldn't help but burst into laughter.

---janeadam

Reply [67]: Promotion my ass! The poor man doesn't even know he was born to herd sheep.

"What's going on? I'm not interested in getting promoted."

"Do you know? There's a Han Chinese man here named Yu Chang. He was captured by the Xiongnu many years ago and became a surrendered general. Actually, he's been looking for an opportunity to return to our Han Dynasty. Last night, he secretly came to me to discuss with a nobleman who was at odds with the Chanyu and had kidnapped the Chanyu's mother to surrender to our Han Dynasty. The plan will be carried out tomorrow. How about that? Isn't it a windfall?" Su Wu said smugly.

"You said yes to him?"

Of course! Why not?

"Oh dear! It must be a meteorite that fell from the sky by accident. We're about to be in big trouble. You idiot, why didn't you say so sooner?"

"You clearly told me not to say it yesterday," Su Wu said, sounding aggrieved. "What kind of impending disaster?"

Of course I know this history, but I'll pretend to be a fortune teller for now. "I can tell fortunes, you know? This matter is extremely unlucky; it will definitely be exposed."

"What's been exposed?" Xiao Yuan appeared.

"Xiaoyuan, you're finally back! Did you use the restroom? Did you wash your hands? Quick, pack your bags and leave here immediately."

"Why?"

Don't ask why. Just trust me.

But I just don't believe you!

"Oh no, there's no time! Let's go!" I grabbed Xiaoyuan and Suwu and ran...

A commotion erupted outside the tent, and several Hun soldiers rushed over.

"Was it exposed so quickly?" I thought to myself.

"Hey! You lot, don't go!" the Xiongnu soldier leader shouted fiercely.

"Run!"...

The Xiongnu soldiers were in hot pursuit. "Catch them!"...

We ran to the horse pen. Xiaoyuan asked me, "Which horse do you think is the ugliest?"

"Huh?" I pointed to a dirty gray horse, puzzled.

Xiao Yuan immediately mounted the gray horse: "Come on up! This time I picked the ugliest horse you think it is, you don't have any objections now, right?"

Wow! Slim waist, it's been a long time! Just as I was about to go up, several Hun soldiers suddenly appeared out of nowhere and grabbed the horse's head.