"Yuanyuan, we're very close to Huangshan now!" Qu Ling said, looking out the pitch-black window.
"Huh?" I gently wiped the corner of my eye with the back of my hand, not yet realizing what he meant.
"If only you could remember more about what happened back then." Qu Ling sighed softly, a hint of disappointment on her face. After a while, as if trying to comfort herself, she said, "You were too young then, while for me, it was the most unforgettable period of my youth."
How old was I that year? Eleven, I think. How old was Qu Ling? Eighteen? Or nineteen?
The most precious youthful years of one's life.
He was a teenager, while I was still young.
I can't remember Qu Ling's face when he was young, I only remember that he once warmly held my hand.
“When I held you then, I really liked you. I just wanted to stay with this little girl in my arms forever. She was so cute, I liked her so much. It was an inexplicable liking, but it grew from the bottom of my heart.” Qu Ling looked back at me and said, “I’ve never told anyone, and I can’t tell anyone. For me as a teenager, I just wanted to keep this feeling buried in my heart, as a warm and secret memory.”
Qu Ling's face gradually flushed slightly in the firelight, a very faint blush.
I don't know why, but looking at his face, my heart suddenly started racing, almost out of control.
“Yuanyuan, I like you, and this liking is pure.” Qu Ling’s hand slowly slid down my shoulder. “I won’t mix feelings with other things. Love can’t be faked.”
As his hand gradually covered the back of my hand, I jumped up from the stool as if I had been electrocuted, and stammered, "It's...it's very late, I...I'll go back and rest first."
After saying that, I grabbed my pillow and rushed out. All I could hear on the way was the pounding of my heart.
Author's Note: Writing during breaks from overtime work~~
Thank you all for your continued support. Just seeing your familiar names brings tears to my eyes.
I hugged them one by one, thank you!!
Because of time constraints, I can't reply to every message, but every word you said touches my heart~
I'll be updating more these next couple of days, maybe even tomorrow~~
The sun shines on the clear stream.
When Dingding came back, I had already snuggled into my sleeping bag, facing the wall and pretending to be fast asleep. She didn't ask any questions, turned off the light, and lay down to rest as well.
It rained all night.
Even with a rose-petal pillow in my arms, I still couldn't sleep all night.
My heart feels like it's floating on a boundless ocean, rising and falling, drifting aimlessly, without any sense of direction.
I feel happy amidst my troubles, yet I also feel lost amidst my happiness.
Using someone doesn't necessarily mean you like them. Liking someone doesn't necessarily mean you won't use them.
Should I explain everything I'm facing like this?
If Qu Ling truly loves me, can I forget those unpleasant things?
What are the bottom lines of love?
I thought it was genuine.
Mutual affection is the prerequisite for the beginning of love.
I know I like Qu Ling.
Qu Ling said he likes me.
Even if his feelings for me were genuine, he still took advantage of me.
I find it hard not to mind this exploitation.
But on the other hand, he had already planned to do something, so why would he stop or change it just because he liked me? Besides, his actions didn't cause me any financial loss; on the contrary, my third uncle gained better opportunities by cooperating with him.
For some reason, a firm belief suddenly arose in my mind: if it were something detrimental to me, Qu Ling would definitely not do it! Definitely! He would never harm me for his own benefit.
I don't know where I got the confidence from, but suddenly I felt warm and excited.
Actually, I believed it the moment I received the rose pillow.
I believe that I am the seed planted in Qu Ling's heart on the top of Huangshan Mountain back then, and I believe that all the reasons between us are just fate that brought us together.
Qu Ling traveled thousands of miles for me, just so I could have a good night's sleep. How could I not be moved by him?
I don't want to torture myself anymore. If this is fate, I accept it.
I drifted off to sleep at five in the morning to the sound of pattering rain, and my mind gradually calmed in my dreams. Before me stretched the verdant mountains and rivers I had traveled through, with peach blossoms fluttering in the air and clouds drifting by. I found myself standing atop a mountain peak, arms around someone's neck, pointing excitedly into the valley and exclaiming, "Brother Qu, look! A masterpiece of nature!"
It should have been a happy and warm dream, but for some reason, tears welled up and soaked my eyelashes, falling onto the pale pink rose pillow.
I finally remembered the moments I shared with Qu Ling twelve years ago on Mount Huangshan.
Those memories are like old textbooks I folded and packed away, quietly placed in a corner of my memory. I can't remember which corner I put them in, and I can't find them no matter how hard I try. Then one day, because of a dream, I found those old textbooks again.
As I opened each page, everything was clearly visible.
*****
When I woke up, the rain had stopped, and pale golden sunlight shone through the window onto the snow-white sheets of the bed opposite mine. Dingding's bed was empty. I sat up abruptly from my sleeping bag, glanced at my watch, and saw it was past eight o'clock.
Oh no! I arranged to meet the students at 7:30 under the big camphor tree at the village entrance, and Dingding definitely went by himself without calling me!
I hurriedly dressed, grabbed my toiletries bag, and rushed to the bathroom to wash up. Then, I slung my bag over my shoulder and ran towards the village entrance. Just as I reached the gate, I ran into Qu Ling, who was walking in.
"Yuanyuan? Where are you going in such a hurry?"
"The students were gathering at the village entrance this morning, but Dingding didn't wake me! I'm late!"