On a sweltering August night in Beijing, in the middle of a bustling pedestrian street, the lips of a young boy and girl touched for the first time. There was no lingering, no caressing, yet sweetness permeated every cell of their bodies.
Shi Nan had visited Wang Fan's home a few times. It was in a well-known villa area outside the East Fourth Ring Road, but strangely, every time Shi Nan went, no matter the time of day, no one was home. It seemed that only Wang Fan lived in the huge house. Once, Shi Nan couldn't help but ask him about it. Wang Fan was silent for a while, then curled up on the sofa and said, "When I was about ten years old, my dad started his own business. You know how it was back then, it was hard not to make money if you went into business. But gradually he came home less and less, and my mom told me that my dad was very busy. I was young and didn't understand then, and I really thought he was busy, but I saw my mom secretly wiping away tears many times. As I grew up, I understood that he had another woman outside. Now, it must have been many years, and the children are probably not young anymore."
Shi Nan felt a pang of sadness upon hearing this, finally understanding why she always saw an aura of solitude around him. She couldn't help but sit down next to Wang Fan and take his hand.
"Later, I don't know what came over my mom. Anyway, at least she wasn't short of money, and she started dating a man. But when I was in school, she kept it a secret from me and still took care of me at home every day. Actually, I knew. Last month, after the exams, she finally told me that she doesn't come home often anymore."
“Look at Shi Nan, this is my home. It looks glamorous on the surface, but it’s actually broken down.” Wang Fan paused for a moment, then asked cautiously, “Will you look down on me?”
Shi Nan hadn't expected him to think that way, and quickly shook her head, "How could I look down on you because of this? It's not your fault." Then, her tone changed, "From now on, I'll be your father and mother, giving you the warmth of a family and comforting your young, wounded heart... Oh dear, oh dear, I was wrong, Wang Fan, stop tickling me, haha... I was wrong, I won't say anymore..." Wang Fan tickled her, finally stopping her talk of concern.
However, ever since Wang Fan opened up to Shi Nan about her family situation, the two seem to have become closer.
Shi Nan is too thin, making it difficult to find suitable underwear. So, in the summer, she wears skirts almost every day, choosing those with multiple layers of fabric around the chest so she doesn't need a bra and her nipples won't show. Even though it's the height of summer, new autumn/winter clothes are already hitting the shelves, so Shi Nan quickly dragged Wang Fan to Sogo for a shopping spree before the summer clothes were taken off the shelves. After browsing several floors, Shi Nan didn't find anything she liked, but she did see a gray gradient shirt that seemed perfect for Wang Fan.
"Wang Fan, try this one on."
After he walked out of the fitting room, Shi Nan clapped her hands, "I knew it would look good." Yes, this was Wang Fan's true color: mature and sharp, her Wang Fan had the natural temperament of a manager.
Shi paid the bill, but Wang Fan objected, "What kind of woman pays for a man?!" Two eighteen-year-olds, referring to themselves as a man and a woman -_-||||
"Alright, alright, I know you're a big man like Wang and you care about your image---Let's go to the China World Trade Center another day, I'll pick out the items and you can pay as much as you want~~" Shi Nan smiled as he took the paper bag from the sales clerk.
"Let's go now."
"What? Wang Fan, don't get carried away. It's perfectly normal for a girlfriend to buy her boyfriend clothes, don't give me that macho act!!"
Wang Fan pursed his lips, "I just wanted to see you wearing the clothes I bought for you... It makes me happy..."
"You still won't admit it? That's just male chauvinism!!"
Despite saying that, Shi Nan was secretly pleased and didn't refuse any longer, going with Wang Fan to the China World Trade Center. After browsing around, the two finally found a Burberry dress they liked: a white cotton dress with thin straps, the bust area meeting Shi Nan's requirements—multi-layered workmanship, a well-fitting waist, and a skirt trimmed with the brand's classic check pattern. Shi Nan tried it on, and Wang Fan immediately decided it was the one. Shi Nan herself was also satisfied, firstly because Burberry was "relatively" cheaper in the China World Trade Center; and secondly, at eighteen, she naturally wouldn't wear anything too mature or high-end, and this dress suited her perfectly.
Shi Nan spent 500 yuan on a shirt for Wang Fan, and Wang Fan spent 5,000 yuan on a skirt for Shi Nan. After buying the clothes, Shi Nan felt more and more uneasy. "Wang Fan, promise me, just this once, don't spend so much money in the future. I know your family is well-off and you have no concept of money, but this makes me uncomfortable."
Wang Fan was taken aback. "You're my girlfriend. What's wrong with me buying you things?"
Shi Nan was about to continue when he interrupted her, "Shi Nan, can I take you home to meet my mother?"
This question truly interrupted Shi Nan, completely shattering her plans. Although she and Wang Fan had been enjoying a sweet relationship for over a month, Shi Nan hadn't even considered meeting the parents. "This is nothing," she thought. "Meeting the parents is the next step before marriage, but they probably won't consider marriage until they graduate from university..." "Isn't Auntie not home lately?"
Shi Nan wasn't really ready to take this step right away, but then he realized his excuse was too obvious, so he said directly, "Wang Fan, it's not that I don't want to see your mother, it's just... it's just... isn't this too fast?!"
Wang Fan didn't press her. "Fine, we can talk about it later if you don't want to. It's just that my mom happens to be home these days."
Seeing that he wasn't insisting, Shi Nan finally relaxed and said, "Wang Fan, we have a long life ahead of us, no rush."
Wang Fan smiled too.
Such days continued to pass.
After a while, Shi Nan realized that the initial fervor and excitement had gradually faded, but then he thought to himself that this was just how love was.
The results were finally released, and admission notices began to be sent out. Everyone performed as expected. Shi Nan got into the European Languages Department of Beijing Foreign Studies University, Wang Fan got into the Applied Economics Department of Peking University, while Lan Di, as he wished, failed to get into the Architecture Department of Tsinghua University.
Shi Nan had intended to greet Lan Di; they hadn't been in contact since the last time he hung up on her, and his anger had long since dissipated. But then he suddenly remembered that Lan Di's father was a counselor stationed in Japan, so his going there to study was essentially a family reunion. He should be happy that Lan Di failed the exam; he hadn't even considered taking it in the first place… Never mind.
Undercurrent
Summer vacation was coming to an end, and before university started, classmates had a final get-together at Melody KTV. Shi Nan felt a strange sense of anticipation for this.
She knew this feeling; she used to feel it every day on her way to school because she knew she would see Wang Fan.
So why do they still exist? Have they become habits that can't be broken?
The answer to this question came when they gathered at the party. Her gaze involuntarily passed through the group of boys and landed directly on Landy.
Unexpectedly, after not seeing him for several days, I found myself missing him.
Lan Di wore a light blue collared t-shirt and white pants, and her tall, slender figure made the clothes look really good on her. Few boys would wear white pants; they get dirty too easily. Shi Nan cursed inwardly, "What a show-off! Dressing so lightly, does she think she's Prince Charming?" But then he recalled Wang Fan's light blue outfit at Ritan Park that day and had to admit to himself that Lan Di was more suitable.
But Wang Fan is Wang Fan. My Wang Fan is more suited to black and gray. Wang Fan is destined to be a successful man, hmph.
Lan Di also saw her through the others, saw Wang Fan beside her, and then turned his head away.
The class rented the largest room, and the students sat in small groups with their close friends. Wang Fan came over and took Shi Nan's hand. Shi Nan wanted to pull away, not wanting her classmates to know they were dating so soon, but then she saw Lan Di and Zhao Beibei sitting together. Zhao Beibei was talking, and Lan Di had a smile on his face. Shi Nan didn't understand why she suddenly felt a tightness in her chest, but she steeled herself and didn't pull her hand away from Wang Fan's. Actually, the light was dim, and no one else could see it.
Unfortunately, Shi Nan and his group ended up sitting right next to Lan Di and Zhao Beibei.
Shi Nan inwardly groaned, but gave Zhao Beibei a genuinely fake smile without greeting Lan Di. Lan Di seemed unconcerned, leaning back on the sofa with his long legs propped up on his arms, his back hunched, as if searching for a song. But Shi Nan knew perfectly well that he knew she had come over.
Shi Nan guessed he was probably still angry with her for yelling on the phone that day. She thought about how after this gathering, everyone would go their separate ways, and perhaps she would only be able to say goodbye to Lan Di without even a chance to say goodbye.
However, this does not mean that I will take the initiative to end the cold war and talk to him.
With parting imminent, everyone's sadness was palpable, and they even started drinking, opening bottles of Yanjing beer one after another, and reciting songs in a relay race in front of the screen, one person after another. Many classmates who weren't usually close to them turned out to have great voices.
Shi Nan's table had also drunk quite a bit. Shi Nan had a low alcohol tolerance; she started feeling dizzy after just one bottle. Zhang Miao and Tang Beibei kept pouring her more, and Wang Fan drank for her. Shi Nan went to look through the songbook and chose Faye Wong's "Smoke." It had a slightly Latin feel, languid and perfectly suited Shi Nan's feline voice, especially in her slightly tipsy state.
The lyrics didn't seem to express anything she wanted to say to Wang Fan, but she couldn't explain why she chose this one. Anyway, when Shi Nan saw it, she decided that this was the one.
There's a sense of restlessness about it.
It makes me want to burn you.
It wouldn't be good for me to drive everyone around me away.
I know, I know I can't quit.
I can't shake this addiction to the allure of flowers that are not flowers; there's nowhere to escape it.
Unable to break free from the lines of mist and not mist, dreams turned upside down
Is it a dream, a whiff of a bubble, or a sight?
After singing the last word, "jump," Shi Nan suddenly realized she had unconsciously become too immersed in the song, not like quitting smoking, but more like quitting a person. Quitting whom? She hadn't intended to quit Wang Fan. But where did this emotion come from?
Everyone applauded enthusiastically, praising her performance as excellent.
When Shi Nan stepped off the stage, her steps were already a little unsteady, but her arm was steadily supported by the next person who came up to sing. Shi Nan paused and saw the light blue shirt and white pants.
She deliberately avoided looking up, struggling to walk away, but the hand on her arm wouldn't let go. He had his back to everyone, and the lights were dim, so the audience couldn't really see much. But she didn't want to go against him at this moment, so she met his eyes, looking at him directly for the first time in so long. There seemed to be something flickering in his gaze, something he wanted to say.
The song title "Gentle" appeared on the screen, and Lan Di's voice came in slowly. Lacking the original singer's roughness, he performed it with his usual composure, making it calm and undisturbed.
Walking in the wind, the sunlight today suddenly feels so gentle.
The gentleness of the sky and the gentleness of the earth are like the way you hold me.
Then you discover your changes and the loneliness that lies ahead.
How do you get through the cold?
The scenery on the horizon, and me beside you, are all invisible to you.
I've never understood what's hidden in your eyes.
It doesn't matter, your world is yours to possess.
Not disturbing you is my way of being gentle.
I don't know, I don't understand, I don't want it, why is my heart...
He clearly wanted to get closer, but remained alone until dawn.
I don't know, I don't understand, I don't want it, why is my heart...
The beauty of love always lies in solitude.
I'll give you my best love again.
Everyone started shouting and blowing whistles. This person not only had a haughty appearance, but also a mesmerizing singing voice; he was practically an idol.
While Shi Nan appeared to be enjoying the praise from the group of people in her seat for her singing, she was actually listening to Lan Di sing. His voice, like his usual speech, was gentle yet powerful, deep yet intoxicating.
The lyrics confused her; every word resonated with her, making her heart pound. So much so that years later, when the song was adapted into a duet version, "Thank You for Your Tenderness," Shih kept it firmly in her MP3 player.
Shi Nan shook her head and suddenly told Wang Fan that she needed to go to the toilet. Before he could respond, she got up and went outside.
The corridor was just as noisy, there wasn't a quiet place, so in the end she had no choice but to walk towards the restroom, wanting to get far away from his voice and his songs. Fortunately, the noise finally stopped in the stairwell of the emergency exit just before the restroom. This area was usually deserted; everyone used the elevator. Shi Nan sat down on the steps, not caring that she was wearing a skirt, burying her head in her knees, trying to calm herself.
She told herself that she didn't have those feelings for him. She looked down on guys like Shi Nan, who were the kind of heartthrobs. She wasn't in love with him; she just hadn't heard a guy with that kind of voice sing before. Besides, his song wasn't for her. She shouldn't be delusional. Maybe it was Zhao Beibei, or maybe he just sang it randomly without any meaning.
After what seemed like an eternity of self-reflection, Shi Nan suddenly felt someone approaching. Looking up, she bumped into the same face that had been on stage. Before she could even think of what to say, the other person spoke first, "Didn't Wang Fan tell you that girls shouldn't sit on the stairs like that in skirts?" The words were sarcastic, but the tone was flat.
Only then did Shi Nan realize her position and that Lan Di, who had just come from the opposite direction, must have seen something. Embarrassed, she blushed and didn't know what to say.
Lan Di didn't say anything more and just sat down next to her.
The two of them remained silent for a long time.
Shi thought that no matter what, she was the one who yelled at him that day, so she said, "I'm sorry, I was too emotional on the phone that day..."
Lan Di suddenly turned to look at her. "I went to Ritan Park to look for you that day. When I saw you, you weren't alone, so I didn't call out to you."
"Oh..." I see. He saw himself and Wang Fan.
Another silence fell. Shi Nan didn't know what to say, his chin resting on his knees, biting his lip repeatedly, his face still flushed from the alcohol.
"Stop biting, or it will break."
"Hmm?" Shi Nan turned her face, puzzled by Lan Di's meaning, but saw that there seemed to be a flame in his eyes. Before she could see it clearly, the flame was already close, and then two thin but hot lips pressed down on hers.
With one hand gripping the back of her neck like a cup, and the other hand cupping her face, Lan Di gently kissed her.
He hadn't drunk any alcohol; his mouth tasted sweet. Shi Nan regretted drinking it; it must have tasted awful.
Shi Nan offered no resistance; she was utterly powerless to resist, neither physically nor mentally. Her mouth didn't even attempt a symbolic closure to show refusal; on the contrary, both seemed eager to devour the other. Shi Nan cooperated perfectly, her lips slightly parted, sucking and moving in unison with his.