I said, "I plan to demolish those bungalows..."
"Of course we'll push it! Just tell us how much you're planning to spend!"
"One million. Build me two small two-story buildings and a canteen, just enough for 350 people to eat, drink, and use the facilities."
Lai Zi chuckled wickedly and said with practiced ease, "Not planning on recruiting students year-round? Thinking of launching a surprise attack and leaving?"
"I prioritize quality over quantity. I'll stop hiring once I've recruited 350 people."
"Tsk, stop spouting nonsense to me. Here's the deal: give me 2 million, and I'll build you a three-story school building. If you want an extra 200,000, I'll cut down some wasteland and build you a wall."
When he said that, I realized that the wall was necessary. I said, "I'll give you 2 million in total. That'll cover the dormitory, the canteen, the teaching building, and the wall. Is that okay?"
Lai Zi threw down his cigarette, turned around and left, saying, "Fine, let's leave it at that."
I had a bad feeling about this, so I yelled at him from behind, "Shouldn't we sign an agreement or something?"
Lai Zi waved his hand: "Stop with the nonsense, I'll bring the whole team over tomorrow." He suddenly stopped, turned around and said, "Hey, by the way, do you need martial arts teachers after your school is built? I have a few buddies who are pretty good at fighting, and now they're always getting into fights." After I said no, he said again: "Or they could be school guards, that way your students won't jump over the wall to go out and have sex, or they'll run to the education bureau to report you, you can't handle that. I'll have my buddies squat in the corner every day, and anyone who tries to run out will have their legs broken."
I chuckled and said, "Stop making a fuss, we don't even know who broke whose leg."
After Lai Zi left, I said to Principal Zhang, "May I ask you, what procedures are needed to set up a school?"
Principal Zhang slumped to the side and said in a trembling voice, "Don't tell me your paperwork hasn't been completed yet."
I scratched my head and said, "I haven't done it at all, that's why I'm asking you."
Old Zhang finally sat down on the ground and said in despair, "What have I done? I've ruined my reputation in my later years!"
I asked curiously, "What, you didn't go home last night?"
The old man pointed at me, his anger blazing, and shouted, "What are you trying to do! Aren't you trying to ruin me?" Then, pounding the ground and crying, he said, "I must have lost my mind, how could I have thought of becoming this honorary principal..."
If he hadn't mentioned it, I would have completely forgotten about it. It seems that the older generation still values integrity.
I said with deep emotion, “Principal Zhang, I really didn’t lie to you. I’m wholeheartedly trying to start a school so that those children who have come from so far away can have a place to study and see the spirit of our times. I have an idea: the first year will be tuition-free, and accommodation and food will be free. You can supervise me; if I try to make money through dishonest means, may I be struck by lightning.”
Anyone could tell what I said before was nonsense, but the last sentence was undeniably devastating. Principal Zhang, sitting on the ground, looked up at me in surprise and said, "You really would do that?"
I nodded vigorously.
"Will your friend who's paying for it agree?"
I said solemnly, "I saved his life. This money is actually his way of thanking me. He wouldn't care even if I threw it into the water."
Old Zhang suddenly stood up and said to me, "Don't lie to me! If it's really as you say, you can start your school first. I have a few students working in government departments; I can put in a word and let you be treated like a decoration for now. If there's nothing fishy going on, I'll take care of the paperwork for you. But if you dare to lie to me..." Old Zhang's voice suddenly turned fierce, "I have a few good-for-nothing students who are notorious in the underworld. I'd rather let Xiao Xiang live a life of widowhood than let you go!"
Holy crap, I never would have guessed! He's got connections in both the legitimate and underworld worlds! When I have a son, I'll make him a teacher...
On the way back, I made a point of checking on my tent. The shop owner was hilarious; to wait for me, or rather, to keep an eye on me, he set up a tent and lived right outside the warehouse. Luckily, there are tents everywhere these days, so it wasn't conspicuous at all.
In the late afternoon, my 1000 sets of "Loyalty to the Country" merchandise arrived. I had the delivery person just pile them up at the door; everyone on this street is an old acquaintance, so it's unlikely anyone would steal them. Baozi saw them when she came back but didn't think much of it, assuming they were from Xiao Wang next door. I'm supporting a group of five people at home, while renting hundreds of hectares of land outside to build houses and schools; Baozi is completely oblivious to the truth behind it all. Given her carelessness and my incompetence, I think the time is ripe for meeting some girls I met online, but it's still a long way from the point of having a one-night stand.
In early July, the days aren't long anymore; it gets dark just after 8 pm. I'm really afraid that Liu Laoliu will bring me here right now. The residents all over the street have just finished eating and are outside, enjoying the cool air while also taking shelter from the earthquake.
I really hope our public security organs can deliver good news: that the swindler Liu Laoliu has been caught. I even asked the neighbors with ulterior motives, and when they talked about Liu Banxian, their opinions differed. Some said he had fled to the south, while others said he lived in a villager's house near Dashuiquan. It was truly a case of appearing in front and disappearing behind. I think that even without using his magic, this old charlatan would be harder to catch than Ma Jiajue.
Dinner was a time when we all gathered together. Baozi has been living a very carefree life these days. Except for not being able to have sex with me, she, who loves being around people, is as carefree as a dung beetle that has entered the Australian prairie and sees dung balls everywhere. She joked with Xiang Yu and Liu Bang, saying, "We've been hit by a disaster here too. Has the floodwaters in Hubei receded yet? Let's go to your place to take refuge."
Baozi is a woman who, from the moment she was born, seems to thrive on chaos. Tang Sanzang endured eighty-one tribulations with Sun Wukong's help, so he himself didn't suffer much. But Baozi, instead of helping me, constantly causes me trouble. However, thinking about it from another perspective, she's Tang Sanzang, and I'm Sun Wukong, so there's no grammatical error in saying that. What's that saying again? Behind every successful man lies a particularly troublesome woman.
Her words stirred up Xiang Yu's thoughts, and the two-meter-tall giant put down his chopsticks and left the table resentfully. It's time to buy him a van; not only will it keep him busy, but I'll also need one.
The wait was long. Although I told Liu Laoliu to bring his men later, given his past habits, he might very well be calling me from downstairs at any moment, followed by 300 bloodied Song Dynasty soldiers. Actually, even if he came alone, things wouldn't be easy for me anymore. Liu Laoliu's wanted poster appeared on our city's TV station every day before the broadcast of "Dae Jang Geum." People who didn't know better might think it was the cover of a simplified Chinese version of "Dae Jang Geum." Liu Laoliu's rapid rise to fame was mainly due to our area. It had been peaceful since the founding of the People's Republic of China, unrelated to those Hui people involved in the oil industry, and the East Turkestan separatists didn't bother us. This earthquake was a relatively serious event in history, and if we didn't stir up some trouble to divert the public's attention, I was afraid of widespread panic. Besides, the wanted poster for Liu Laoliu was also a way to dispel rumors. Liu Laoliu was now like a landmine covered in excrement; if it didn't kill you, it would at least leave you covered in it.
After it got completely dark, the old men and women swatted away the mosquitoes and went home to sleep. We all went to bed very late every day. Qin Shi Huang was watching TV and playing "Top of the Mushroom," vowing to get past the Dragon Palace of 8-1 today. Jing Ke hadn't liked listening to the radio these past few days because it was all about earthquake reports and repetitive earthquake safety tips.
Liu Bang, two women, and I played mahjong. Liu Bang had a lot of the old ladies' grocery money in his pocket and suggested playing a "bloody" version. After playing for a while and winning enough, he started giving Baozi (another player) points. At Li Shishi's protest, we switched to playing against each other. Liu Bang and Baozi teamed up, and this time the guy was outnumbered, so overall, it was a back-and-forth game. As I watched the clock on the wall ticking away, I gradually calmed down. After Qin Shihuang (the first emperor of Qin Shihuang) finished the game, Li Shishi left to go to sleep.
The three of us continued playing Dou Dizhu (a popular Chinese card game). After a few rounds, Baozi threw down his cards and stormed off. I was so amused that I kept praising Liu Bang (a famous Chinese military leader) – Baozi hadn't won a single game, that's why he went to bed so early. I'm most afraid of Liu Laoliu calling me when Baozi is around. I don't even need to ask where I'm going; just looking down at all those people downstairs is enough to make Baozi collapse. Since the year before last, Baozi hasn't supported me going to gang fights.
It was past 2 a.m. when everyone was asleep, and I started worrying again that Liu Laoliu wouldn't come. I smoked a cigarette, and then, too sleepy to stay awake any longer, I dozed off at the table. In my dream, I heard Liu Laoliu's furtive voice calling me, and then I felt something wet on my thigh. I woke up and saw that I had drooled on my leg. Just as I was about to wash my face, I seemed to hear a broken voice calling me again. I looked out the window and saw Liu Laoliu, his shifty eyes scanning the surroundings, calling me in a hushed voice. Behind and to his left and right stood 300 Song Dynasty warriors, standing in neat rows!
Chapter Forty: The Beiwei Army
Liu Laoliu saw me through the glass and waved vigorously. I gestured for him to wait, then hurriedly put on my long pants and hiking boots. The thought of leading these hundreds of people to their destination gave me a headache.
When I went downstairs, I saw Liu Laoliu still furtively looking around for police on both sides of the street. Three hundred men stood like javelins across half the street, in pairs and groups of three, of varying ages, the oldest looking about 40, the youngest looking like a child. Most of them had their heads wrapped in tattered black cloths, their expressions blank, not like they had any deep-seated hatred for anyone. Besides their uniform blue military uniforms, their armor varied, mostly with cowhide coverings in the front, some with wrist guards and leg wraps, the cowhide bearing marks of knives and axes.
Their attire alone reveals that this is an army primarily equipped with lightweight gear, often tasked with extreme missions. What truly horrified me was that they were all armed with long swords, some carrying bows and arrows, while the short swords varied in size, some tucked into their left hips, others strapped to their leg wraps. Judging from their cold expressions and the wear and tear on their armor, this was a group of soldiers who would kill without hesitation.
The police are cracking down hard on controlled knives these days. I reckon they can find a dozen or more bloodstains on any one of their knives. If that falls into the hands of the police, I'd rather jump into... nowhere else. If I fall into the hands of the police, I'll probably never see the Yellow River again in my life.
Liu Laoliu pointed to a veteran in his forties and said to me, "That's Xu Delong, a junior officer in the Beiwei Army. He's the highest-ranking officer in this group. If you need anything in the future, talk to him."
"Humble Army? What kind of name is that?"
Liu Laoliu glanced back at 300 and whispered, "Don't talk nonsense. The Beiwei Army was Yue Fei's personal guard and special forces. In Chinese history, apart from the People's Liberation Army, I don't think any other army is stronger than them. It's just that they are too few in number to be famous. A few hundred of them can easily defeat tens of thousands. In the Battle of Yancheng, 50 Beiwei soldiers charged into the Jin army camp and killed their commander, resulting in the annihilation of 150,000 Jin soldiers. Even Wuzhu's elite Iron Pagoda and cavalry were wiped out. Wuzhu cried at the time—this is historically recorded, I'm not making it up."
I got goosebumps listening to this and asked, "How come none of these freaks survived?"
Old Liu sighed, "These 300 men didn't die in battle normally; I was wrong before. They died in a suicidal attack after Yue Fei was murdered. These people are filled with resentment, and even if their lifespans weren't wrong, they won't rest. I hope you can resolve their hatred..." As Old Liu said this, he knowingly jumped back, and my punch missed. I knew I couldn't beat this old charlatan, so I pleaded, "Could you bring Tang Sanzang to do this? I'm good at stirring things up, but I'm really not a professional monk!"
Old Liu chuckled wickedly, "Your time to test you has come—oh, I have to go. Two lads followed me all day; I suspect they're plainclothes officers." He crouched slightly, gazing at the sky as if about to take flight, but remained motionless for a long time. I asked him, "Why aren't you flying yet?"
He rolled his eyes at me and said, "I just farted." Then he ran off and disappeared.