"Actually, what I sent was: Hey girl, come to bed with me..."
Xiang Yu roared and picked up the sofa to smash Liu Bang. I quickly held him down, grabbed the phone, and opened the inbox. There was a message that read, "Don't mention it, taking care of the elderly is the right thing to do." Surprisingly, there was even a smiley face at the end.
I showed the phone to Xiang Yu, who awkwardly put down the sofa, looking a little embarrassed. Liu Bang said aggrievedly, "You never trust me, you always think I'm going to harm you." I glared at him, "You're so shameless! Luckily I was quick, otherwise my sofa would have been ruined."
Liu Bang said, "Your sofa originally had three legs..."
Xiang Yu's phone rang again, and this time he proactively placed it on the table for us all to see. Zhang Bing replied, "Hehe, you're such a good person. I'd like to invite you and Xiao Nan to dinner tomorrow, is that convenient?" She also added a smiley face. Xiang Yu looked at Liu Bang, who said, "What are you looking at me for? You decide whether you're going or not."
I put my hand on Xiang Yu's shoulder and said, "Brother Yu, this time they invited us out of their own pocket, it wouldn't be right not to go. Besides, you can't just keep avoiding Zhang Bing like this, can you? What kind of situation would that be?"
Liu Bang looked Xiang Yu in the eye and said, "Haven't you always looked down on me? I went to the 'Feast at Hongmen' back then, so it's your turn tomorrow. If you don't want to go, fine, but don't try to act tough with me anymore!"
Unable to withstand the provocation, Xiang Yu slammed his fist on the table and exclaimed, "What's there to be afraid of?"
Everyone wore a cunning smile, including Ersha.
I told Li Shishi, "Cousin, find a chance to slip away halfway through tomorrow. If Zhang Bing is a smart person, she'll understand what I mean. If she doesn't find an excuse to run away, then Brother Yu will have a chance."
Li Shishi smiled and said, "Of course I know."
Xiang Yu said blankly, "You can't do this, can you?"
Everyone went back to their rooms, and no one paid him any attention anymore. I said to him, "Brother Yu, now you're in a desperate situation again. If you don't take a 'do-or-die' approach, everything will be over!"
After saying that, I ignored him and shouted at Baozi, who was washing dishes, "You just said we'd get married in two months?"
Baozi poked her head out and said, "Wasn't it the date you and Dad set, October 2nd?"
I scratched my head and said, "Did I make the order?"
While wiping the water in the bowl, Baozi said, "Hey, this is something new. I've only ever heard of women breaking off marriages, but I've never heard of men doing this."
I said, "Did you ask your dad? Is it really October 2nd? I drank a little too much that day."
Baozi leaned over, switched to a different strainer, and asked, "Do you think it's too early or too late?"
I chuckled and said, "I don't care, I've already slept with him."
"What did you say?" Baozi switched to another kitchen knife and wiped it clean...
I immediately said righteously, "I think we should find a time to get our marriage certificate first."
It seems Baozi really didn't hear what I said. She said, "Hmm, that's a good suggestion. Oh, by the way, what do you need to prepare to get a marriage certificate? Have you ever gotten one before?"
I:"……"
Baozi laughed and said, "Isn't Liu Ji already married? Go ask him."
"...They got divorced later."
"Isn't being divorced still a form of marriage?"
"...Just bring all your documents."
As for Liu Bang? Let's set aside whether he had a marriage certificate or not, but if he did, he probably had more than one.
Before going to bed, I received another call from Principal Zhang. He asked me how my preparations for the competition were going, and I stammered that they were going smoothly.
Old Zhang is a man of principle. He could tell at a glance that I hadn't taken his words seriously, so he lectured me for a long time. Finally, Old Zhang said, "By the way, Xiao Qiang, I've met quite a few of your coaches. Are they all self-taught? Do any of them know proper Sanda (Chinese kickboxing)? Don't embarrass me when they step into the ring."
His question sent a chill down my spine. Were there any Sanda (Chinese kickboxing) practitioners on Liangshan? Isn't Sanda even more recent than Tai Chi?
That's a problem. Should I buy a book and teach them? I quickly dismissed the idea. I'm a man about to get married, and for the woman who wants to marry me and for my children, I have a responsibility to stay away from all danger. I don't want to practice the Sunflower Manual.
I racked my brains and suddenly thought of a scapegoat: Tiger. Although Tiger was a disciple of Da Hong Quan, there was no way he didn't know something like Sanda (Chinese kickboxing). I immediately called him, and on the other end of the line, there was a lively atmosphere with singing and dancing. I laughed and said, "Brother Tiger, out chasing girls?"
Tiger, however, was quite serious: "What are you talking about, chasing girls? Let's discuss a business deal."
I said, "Can you tell who I am?"
"Qiangzi, buddy—excuse my bluntness, but there are seven different numbers associated with Qiangzi on my phone. Who are you...?"
I laughed and said, "You even came to my school's opening a while ago..." He seemed a little confused, so I just said, "We even had a fight at Grandpa Gu's place."
Tiger immediately realized and said, "I'm sorry, Brother Qiang, I've been so busy lately that I've lost my mind."
"Hehe, I can understand. Did Dong Ping go to your place?"
Tiger said dejectedly, "You mean Brother Dong? He's really hard to get. He doesn't even take me seriously." Tiger was quite aggrieved, but there was no dissatisfaction in his eyes. It seemed that Dong Ping was an untouchable hermit in his eyes.
Enough of this digression, let's get right to the point: "Brother Tiger, do you teach Sanda (Chinese kickboxing) there?"
Tiger immediately perked up at the mention of this topic, chuckling, "If you ask me about Taekwondo or Judo, I'll fall out with you. But if you're talking about Sanda, I actually participated in a national competition and almost made it into the top ten."
I said excitedly, "That's great! Help me take on a few apprentices."
Tiger readily agreed, "Okay, have them come and give your name, and I'll arrange for someone to look after them. Tuition will be waived."
I said cautiously, "Brother Tiger, do you have time tomorrow? I'd like to bring some people to see you directly."
Tiger pondered for a moment and said, "Brother Qiang, it's not that I'm trying to embarrass you, but what are the qualities of these people you mentioned? If it were just because they have a good relationship with you, I wouldn't personally teach them."
I remained silent for a long time, completely at a loss for what to say to him.
Chapter Ninety: The Fight Between the Snipe and the Clam