Lu Junyi waved his hand and said, "Come on, four of you can come and learn martial arts from Xiao Qiang."
Hu Sanniang shouted, "Three, three, I'll count as one..."
Chapter Ninety-One: The Challenge
I spotted Lin Chong immediately and rushed over to him, grabbing his arm and saying, "Brother Lin Chong, you must come with me! You were an instructor before, you're quick to learn!" Then I immediately saw Dong Ping, who was in the same room as him. He was holding a cup of thick, dark liquid, seemingly doing something. I smiled apologetically and said, "Brother Dong Ping, are you drinking coffee?"
Dong Ping glared at me: "What coffee? I keep two black dragons in here."
I asked, puzzled, "Don't you have a fish tank?"
Dong Ping was furious and said, "Ever since I gave you cupping therapy, everything I keep in the fish tank dies."
I took the cup from him and looked inside. It was nothing but black water; there was no black dragon in sight. I tilted the cup, and there were two long, black things churning at the bottom. I exclaimed in surprise, "Are these black dragons?"
Dong Ping snatched it away, carefully sprinkled some fish food into it, and said, "There's also something called loach—" After feeding the loach, he wiped his hands and said, "What's up? What martial arts are you learning?"
I scratched my head and said, "There's a martial arts tournament, but not every move can be used, so we need to go and learn first."
"No interest." After saying that, Dong Ping saw that I was still stubbornly refusing to leave, and asked again, "You want us to help you participate in the martial arts contest to find a husband? What's in it for you?"
I said, "There might be money involved; the individual prize for winning first place in a single event is 50,000 yuan."
Dong Ping tossed the towel into the basin and said, "Then I'll go with you. I was just thinking of getting some money to go back to Liangshan." He realized he'd been a bit presumptuous after saying that, and smiled at Lin Chong. Lin Chong waved his hand dismissively and said, "We're brothers, it's the same who takes the money. You just need to treat me to the money."
Well, the competition hasn't even started yet, and these two are already discussing how to divide the spoils.
I ran into the hallway and shouted, "One more can go, who's going?"
The heroes weren't particularly enthusiastic about my cause, and seeing that Lin Chong and Dong Ping had already gone, they figured they wouldn't be of much use, so they all shuffled back to their rooms in their slippers. A skinny man ran over and said, "Then I'll go with you and have some fun." This man was short, but his hair was thick and bushy, with a slightly yellowish tinge—an unnatural yellow, like it had been dyed for 15 yuan at a third-rate hair salon. I recognized him; he was Duan Jingzhu, the Golden Retriever, ranked 108th in Liangshan. He was only allowed to join the group because he stole a "Jade Lion Shining at Night" for Song Jiang. Personally, I think he's completely negligible in Liangshan.
I gathered enough people, said goodbye to Lu Junyi, got in the car, and left.
The van could seat seven people, but I thought that would be too cramped, so I only called six. Lin Chong and I sat in the front, and the rest of us squeezed into the back. The 300 men and the heroes were all familiar with each other since they lived in the same building, and Li Jingshui and Wei Tiezhu were ruthless soldiers who had killed countless people on the battlefield, their spirit no less than Dong Ping's. They chatted quite happily. But as soon as the van left the school, Hu Sanniang, that Black Mountain Demon, feeling tired, casually put her arm around Li Jingshui's shoulder. Li Jingshui immediately became very reserved, her face turning as red as a tomato, and she didn't say a word. I coughed and said, "Third Sister, sit properly."
Hu Sanniang looked around in confusion, then noticed Li Jingshui's flushed face and laughed, "Oh, you're shy? I'm much older than you. Come on, call me 'Auntie'."
I said, "Third sister, stop fooling around, they just finished their health and hygiene class..."
"What does 'physiological hygiene' even mean?"
At this moment, Duan Jingzhu suddenly shouted, "Stop the car!"
I thought something had happened and slammed on the brakes. Everyone in the car lurched forward, then was thrown back into their seats by the inertia. Duan Jingzhu hurriedly opened the car door and said, "I'm going to take a leak."
Hu Sanniang kicked him in the buttocks and cursed, "You're such a lazy donkey, always causing trouble even when you're just going to fight."
I exclaimed in horror, "Third Sister, we're not going to fight, we're going to become your disciples!"
Hu Sanniang immediately turned around and said, "What did you say?"
I quickly said, "Learn how to play according to their methods first, and you'll have plenty of opportunities to fight later." I thought to myself that this woman was too ruthless, and I couldn't let her compete later. Anyway, there aren't any large-scale women's Sanda competitions in China for the time being.
Duan Jingzhu was urinating a few steps away from us when, without noticing, a stray dog darted out of the bushes, biting his leg without warning before running away. Duan Jingzhu was furious, but he couldn't chase after it since he was already pulling up his pants. By the time he finished pulling them up, the dog was long gone.
Duan Jingzhu had no choice but to return to the car, pull up his trouser leg to check his wound, and cursed, "Damn it, even the dog is picking on me." He then saw several teeth marks on his calf, with beads of blood slowly seeping out. Dong Ping said, "Who told you to be both Earth Dog Star and Golden Retriever? That dog probably came looking for its roots."
Hu Sanniang suddenly burst into uncontrollable laughter, leaving everyone staring at her, bewildered. After she finished laughing, she said, "Luckily, Xiao Duan isn't tall but his legs are long, otherwise that dog would have bitten your whip off in one bite!"
Everyone was speechless and sweating profusely. Duan Jingzhu chuckled and said, "No, we should be glad I'm a man, otherwise it wouldn't be my leg that got injured." Everyone was stunned for a moment, then shuddered.
Hu Sanniang slapped Duan Jingzhu several times and cursed, "You son of a bitch, you're playing dirty tricks on me..." I've seen unreasonable people before, but I've never seen anyone as unreasonable as her... I've seen one today.
Li Jingshui said, "Our teacher Yan said that if you get bitten by a dog, you need to get a rabies vaccine, otherwise it could be life-threatening." Duan Jingzhu asked nervously, "Really?"
I asked Li Jingshui, "Did your teachers tell you about the incubation period?"
"20 years?"
Duan Jingzhu waved his hand and said, "Don't bother, only a bastard can live for another 20 years." Everyone in the car nodded, but I glared at him.
Tiger's martial arts school is located outside the Third Ring Road, near the railway, not too far from my school. Along the way, I noticed Hu Sanniang seemed eager to try her skills. Dong Ping and Lin Chong, though calm, showed no sign of humbly seeking instruction. Li Jingshui and Wei Tiezhu, upon learning they were going to learn from Tiger's men, both wore expressions of resentment. Last time, Tiger led twelve elites to surround us; if it weren't for protecting me and not daring to use excessive force, those twelve bodyguards wouldn't have been able to do it. Hearing they were going to become his disciples, these two were holding a grudge.
As we approached our destination, I cautiously said, "Brothers, Third Sister, let me reiterate: we're going there to learn from them, not to challenge them. Everyone should relax—Dog Bro, spit out the toothpick in your mouth, it looks so unfriendly."
Duan Jingzhu spat out his toothpick and asked, "What does 'challenging the establishment' mean?"
"...'Kicking the gate' means to cause trouble, pick a fight, and create problems..." Seeing that they only half understood, I simply said, "It means to conquer. When you conquer Fang La, that means you are kicking Fang La's gate."
"Oh—" The heroes and Hu Sanniang all seemed to suddenly understand. I quickly said, "Remember, it's not about challenging the dojo!"
Following Tiger's directions over the phone, I quickly found the place. I knew Tiger was wealthy and powerful, but I still didn't expect his martial arts school to be so grand. Just from the outside, it covered an area of at least 2,000 square meters. It was a two-story building, with walls covered in blood-red mosaic tiles, among which a standing tiger was made of yellow bricks. The main entrance, like a hotel, featured a spacious lobby supported by huge pillars, with four large characters on the ceiling: "Fierce Tiger Martial Arts School".
It has to be said that the name is rather tacky, but a martial arts school is not like a teahouse, where you can name it "Listening to the Wind Pavilion" or "Bamboo and Chrysanthemum Poetry Pavilion." A martial arts school is all about being powerful and popular, and it even has to be a little tacky on purpose. Besides, "Jingwu Men" may not necessarily be that elegant. As long as the reputation spreads, those hot-blooded young people don't care what the name is and will flock to it.
Unfortunately, the entrance hall was a bit absurd; vendors were squatting everywhere, selling goldfish, with fish tanks, basins, and foot basins scattered all over the place – it was practically a bustling little fish market. Inside the martial arts school, people were constantly moving about, yet no one seemed to care. This suggests that Tiger was more of a江湖 (jianghu, a term referring to the world of martial arts and chivalry) figure than a businessman. He might tolerate people making a living by doing small businesses on his turf, but would he care about people performing martial arts for money in front of his door?
Upon seeing the goldfish seller, Dong Ping excitedly exclaimed "Hey!" and ran over to peer into the tank. The old fishmonger asked, "Want some?"
Dong Ping asked, "Are there any that are easy to raise?"
The old man pointed to the messy fish in the tank and said, "Red swordtails, warm-mouthed bream, and small map fish are all easy to keep."
I chimed in, "Our master likes hardy animals. Is there anything easier to raise than a loach?"
The old man said disdainfully, "Is a loach even considered a fish? Are you planning to fry it or use it to unclog the toilet?" Dong Ping immediately ignored him. A shifty-eyed young man next to him quietly tugged at Dong Ping and said, "Brother, I have some easy-to-raise ones here, want some?"
"Oh?" Dong Ping moved closer, watching him with great interest. The young man pulled back the cloth covering a fish tank, revealing several small, grayish fish swimming slowly inside. Their jaws were thick, and they looked quite ordinary. The young man said, "Brother, if you're willing to give me fifty cents, I'll show you something interesting."