"I'm waiting for my cousin-in-law; I'm going to go with her to look at wedding dresses this afternoon..."
Perhaps I was speaking a bit too loudly, because someone finally noticed me: Baldy.
That's how leaders are; they always see further, think more, and dare to challenge the most formidable enemies. Amidst the chaos, I idly made a phone call, aimlessly poking at the metal stairwell with a broom, looking so forlorn yet proud, a picture of loneliness at the top. With my appearance, no one dared to come up and face their doom.
The bald guy, stubborn as ever, charged at me. Holding the phone in one hand, I swung the broom handle down on him with incredible speed, whipping his arm until it was swollen. But the kid wasn't stupid; he grabbed a metal dustpan from the old lady and came charging back.
At this moment, Li Shishi asked, "Cousin, what kind of wedding dress do you like?"
As I pulled the dustpan from the bald man's head, I said, "Don't be too revealing... ta-da... but show off your figure... ta-da..."
Li Shishi asked, "What are you doing there?"
Using the winnowing basket as cover, the bald man advanced step by step. As I backed away, I said, "Cousin, wait a minute, I'm a little busy..."
Baldy, with a winnowing basket on his head and a victorious smile in his eyes, realized that if he could force me to the ground, I would definitely be no match for him.
At this critical moment, I finally discovered his weakness—he wasn't wearing shoes.
I held the phone, pretending to be doing something pointless, while slowly lowering my body and shouting, "Nine Swords of Dugu - Foot-Breaking Stance!" The broom struck his toes squarely, and the bald man screamed and tumbled downstairs clutching his foot.
I swiped my phone twice, then made a sheathing motion as I picked up the phone and continued, "And your bridesmaid dress, you absolutely have to buy the most beautiful one..."
Chapter Ninety-Three: Don't Kick the Groin
As I was chatting with Li Shishi, Lin Chong suddenly swept the tuna away with a swift, unexpected flick of his tail. The fish yelled and slammed its head into the tempered glass door. This could have been fatal. Lin Chong cried out in pain, regretting that he hadn't controlled his strength properly.
Just then, the door opened and another person walked in. This was even worse; the tuna's head was directly facing the man's head, and they were bound to die in the collision.
The man who came in was carrying a plastic bag in one hand, containing two fish. Seeing a huge, unidentified object flying towards him, he remained calm, using his free hand to press down on the tuna's head, and then kicking it squarely in the belly with his left foot. This saved the tuna from its attack, and it groaned as it lay sprawled on the ground, unable to get up.
The man who saved the tuna didn't seem to care. He glanced at the messy martial arts gym and suddenly noticed the tuna tattoo. He immediately squatted down and asked with interest, "Hey, what kind of fish is that on your neck?" The man was, of course, Dong Ping.
Tuna seemed lost in the fog, but he knew that someone had saved his life, and despite his stomachache, he said, "Tuna."
Dong Ping flipped up his collar and looked at him closely for a few moments, then said, "Why don't you get a 'cleaner' tattoo?" Sure enough, there were two "cleaner" tattoos in the plastic bag he was carrying.
By this time, the most valiant fighters on the field had already experienced the power of our "Kick the Hall" group. Some were bruised and battered, while others were clutching their stomachs and unable to get up. The rest of the players formed a large circle, and no one dared to challenge them anymore. But this wasn't a battlefield, and Haohan and Li Jingshui were too embarrassed to press their advantage, so a stalemate ensued.
Baldy, after being tackled by my "broken foot" move, groaned in pain while clutching his foot, finally realizing that cultivating a good relationship with the old lady was the key. He hopped on one leg to her side, searching for a suitable weapon to launch a counterattack. The old lady, innocently caught in the middle of the brawl and relegated to the unsavory role of an arms supplier, looked utterly helpless. Seeing Baldy approach, she placed the bucket at her feet, pulled a rag from her waist, tossed it into the bucket, and spread her hands, saying, "That's all—"
The bald man examined the two pieces of equipment, lost in thought. I helped him think about it and realized that without the skill of binding them into sticks, these two items alone wouldn't be of much use.
Dong Ping, carrying a fish in one hand, pushed through the crowd and stood with Lin Chong and the others, asking, "Were you fighting?"
Hu Sanniang nodded.
"Want to fight again?" Dong Ping asked, stretching out his arms and legs, looking eager to try. When the people from both martial arts schools saw that we had another strong reinforcement, they looked at each other in bewilderment. This is what you call "the onlookers were as numerous as mountains, their faces full of disappointment."
Tuna got up, exchanged a glance with the bald man who was standing by the bucket with his legs crossed, and said in unison, "We're not fighting anymore, we can't win." The bald man shouted at me, "Get down here, we're not fighting anymore."
After observing them for a while, I felt they were sincere, so I got off and returned the broom and mop to the old lady. By then, Duan Jingzhu, who was pulling the man in the martial arts uniform, had already run his fourth lap. Seeing that things had calmed down, he let go of the man's leg, put his hands behind his back, and walked over as if nothing had happened.
The Tigers and Red Dragons each gathered their men and stood on opposite sides. After this battle, they had become friends; the bond forged through shared beatings was deeper than the bond forged through shared violence. The Tigers members offered to apply medicine to their wounds, and unceremoniously asked for help from the other teams to cover their own injuries. Traditional martial arts and imported combat sports had thus merged.
The tuna rubbed its belly and asked us, "Which dojo are you from?"
I quickly said, "We're not from a martial arts school; we've come here to humbly learn from you."
The tuna said with dissatisfaction, "We've already admitted defeat, why make such sarcastic remarks?"
Then I realized I'd forgotten to mention someone, so I said, "We were introduced by Brother Tiger..."
Just then, the martial arts gym doors burst open, and a group of burly men stormed in. Leading them was none other than Tiger Du. Tiger had probably heard someone had come to challenge him and rushed over. He walked in with a grim face, saw the mess in the arena, and roared at Tuna, "What are you doing?" Tuna immediately lowered his head in shame. Tiger then saw a group of people dressed in strange clothes and pointed at the bald man, asking, "And where are you from?"
No wonder. When Baldy and his gang first arrived, they were dressed in soft, snow-white Taoist robes with conspicuous belts around their waists, each one brimming with confidence. After this fight, some of their snow-white clothes were stained with huge mop marks, some were covered in black mud, and some had blood streaming from their noses. The man Duan Jingzhu had dragged over was even more ragged, with tears and tattered cloths everywhere. Judging from their attire, they now looked more like a group of cult members.
The bald man said dejectedly, "We...we're from the Red Dragon Dojo, we've come here for a friendly spar..."
Seeing their disheveled state, the tiger assumed that his apprentice had brought honor to the Tiger Martial Arts School, and his expression softened. He patted the tuna on the shoulder and said, "Did you do all this?"
The tuna pointed at me, looking aggrieved, and said, "Master, we've all fallen into his trap."
Tiger then noticed me, and immediately saw Dong Ping. He excitedly leaped to Dong Ping, grabbed his hand and shook it, saying, "Brother Dong, you've finally arrived!" Then he saw Li Jingshui and Wei Tiezhu, and greeted them with a smile, "These two brothers are here too."
His apprentice, hearing his familiar address, knew his beating had been completely for nothing. The Red Dragon's men also realized their three masters were likely weaklings, and they were all disheartened. The bald man clasped his hands in a fist salute to Lin Chong: "Brother, could you tell me what kind of kung fu you used?"
Lin Chong smiled slightly: "It's a family-inherited spear technique."
The bald man said dejectedly, "It seems that the things left by our ancestors are still the most effective. I'm never learning this damn Taekwondo again."
As I've said before, I'm not a narrow-minded nationalist, and I feel obligated to instill correct values in young people. I stepped forward and said eloquently, "There is no inherent strength or weakness in martial arts, only differences in the learners—like that 'Broken Kick Stance' I just used, that was absolutely a stroke of genius from beyond the heavens. Could an ordinary person come up with that? It requires a very high level of skill."
The bald man gave me a disdainful look, then said to Lin Chong, "Brother, could you spare me some money? I'd like to visit you later."
Lin Chong just chuckled and didn't say anything.
Knowing that others looked down on his skills, the bald man had no choice but to retaliate himself. He clasped his hands in a fist salute again and said loudly, "Gentlemen, our friendship will endure forever. When we meet again in the martial world, we will certainly..."
Hu Sanniang waved her hand like she was swatting flies, saying, "Go away, get out of here!" That woman was truly speechless; she didn't give anyone any face at all. Luckily, Baldy and his men didn't know our background, so this score had to be placed on the Tiger Martial Arts School's head. Ha!
Baldy and his gang left in defeat. Tiger, looking at his crestfallen apprentices, said with unusual gentleness, "Alright, it's nothing to be ashamed of you losing to these guys. What about your master? I'm still a pushover." He then took Dong Ping's hand affectionately and said, "Brother Dong, do you have time today?"
Dong Ping said, "I never realized you were such a great place before, otherwise I would have come much sooner."
The tiger blushed and said modestly, "Not at all."
"...The fish market in front of your place is doing really well. I'll come here often from now on."