It was lunchtime, so I leaned out the window and called out, "Kezi, time to eat!"
Ersha was "practicing swordsmanship" with Zhao Daye's son, Zhao Bailian. The two of them, each with a broom, were making a ruckus, stirring up dust and chaos. After I shouted, I quickly closed the window.
Soon after, the two of them came upstairs. Jing Ke warmly took Zhao Bailian's hand and said to me, "Let him eat at our house too."
Baozi and I exchanged bewildered glances. If someone were of sound mind, greeting them with "Welcome, welcome!" would inevitably elicit a "No, no, I have other things to do," or at least a polite remark even if they were desperate for food. But this idiot is different. What if he gets used to eating here and comes every day? We haven't even bought our wedding dress yet, and we've already got another son—Zhao Bailian is a year older than me.
But what can we do? We've laid out a whole table of delicious food, enough to make even a fool drool. Are you going to kick him out? I certainly can't do that. And as it turns out, what I can't do, Baozi does…
She couldn't do it anymore. She told the two idiots, "Go wash your hands."
Zhao Bai washed his hands, picked up his bowl, and started eating. Aside from occasionally smiling at Er Sha, he didn't say a word to anyone else. Oh no, are those two idiots having an affair?
I asked Ersha with a smile, "Kezi, has your swordsmanship improved recently?"
Jing Ke was taken aback. He wasn't stupid; he vaguely sensed that I had no good intentions. He exchanged a smile with Zhao Bai, and they seemed to be on the same wavelength.
I took out my phone and secretly used a mind-reading technique on Zhao Bailian under the table. When I took it out, I was shocked—it had crashed!
Ellipsis... My phone is frozen... These two idiots are hell on my phone!
It was past 9 p.m. when Xiang Yu still hadn't returned, and surprisingly, Liu Bang was the first to get restless. He glanced at his watch and said, "Could Xiang Yu really have gone to a hotel?" He said this because he knew Xiang Yu wouldn't do such a thing, which proves the saying: those who understand you best are often your enemies.
As we were talking, we heard the sound of a car downstairs. After a while, Xiang Yu slowly walked upstairs. He changed his shoes, hung up his clothes, and then picked up the water on the table and drank it all in one gulp. I quickly asked, "Did you just part ways with Zhang Bing?"
Xiang Yu nodded: "I just took her back to her dormitory."
"How is it?" Liu Bang asked.
Xiang Yu smiled faintly at him, then suddenly noticed the photos on the table. He casually picked them up and looked at them, then turned two of them face down and said, "These two have girlfriends." He slowly unbuttoned his shirt, stood up, and walked towards the bedroom: "I'm going to sleep now. I promised to pick her up tomorrow to go see Grandpa."
Liu Bang watched his retreating figure until he entered the house and closed the door. Liu Bang suddenly turned around and whispered to me, "He doesn't seem very happy. Does that mean it's completely hopeless?"
I rested my chin on my hand and said, "No way. A girl who stays up this late on a first date with you can't possibly not like you."
Liu Bang asked, "Did Zhang Bing tell him 'I only see you as an older brother,' or did he directly say 'You are a good person'?"
I sneered several times and said, "That's impossible!" I threw the two photos that Xiang Yu had taken from Liu Bang in front of him and said, "How do you think Big Guy knew that these two had girlfriends? He couldn't have chased after them to ask, could he? It could only be Zhang Bing who told him. Why did Zhang Bing do that? It's because she was afraid that too many boys would greet her and upset Big Guy, so she said some seemingly useless nonsense."
Liu Bang looked at me in surprise and said, "I don't know if Zhang Bing was Yu Ji in his past life, but you must have been Zhang Liang in your past life!"
I felt that Zhang Liang was at a disadvantage in front of Liu Bang, so I immediately said, "I was Zhuge Liang in my past life."
It turned out that he was at a greater disadvantage. When Zhang Liang was working for him, he was just an employee, but when Zhuge Liang was working for his third grandson, he was the one who ended up working for him.
But why was Xiang Yu unhappy? More accurately, he lacked passion.
It's understandable. Back then, he was a powerful and ruthless leader, and Yu Ji was a woman as poisonous and beautiful as a poppy. In those turbulent times, waking up to find the enemy already at their doorstep, the two of them, wrapped in mosquito nets, charged out to fight—what heroic spirit! But now, one is a steamed bun shop owner, and the other, in Qin Shi Huang's words, the granddaughter of a minor official—how can they possibly recapture that feeling of war raging for three months? Peace and development are the main themes now—they're even about to withdraw their troops from Iraq.
Moreover, aesthetics are something you can only discover, not seek. Putting a ring in ice cream to surprise your fiancée might look beautiful, but if she's the type to collapse after just a few bites, it could be fatal.
Chapter Ninety-Six: Host
The next day, I was woken up by Lao Zhang's phone call. My phone seems to have a soul now; it responds with different cadences depending on the importance and urgency of the matter. For example, when Li Shishi calls, the voice is delicate and clear; when Xiang Yu calls, it's deep and resonant; and this time it's Lao Zhang, so it's arrogant and full of swagger.
Old Zhang shouted from the other end, "Run as fast as you can, see you at school!"
I glanced at my watch—it was 8:30. Xiang Yu was unusually sleeping in. After Zhang Bing gave him a friendly look, it seemed his passion for flirting had seriously diminished—that's just how men are!
I had Qin Shi Huang hold the camera, pulled him into the carriage, and sped off.
I know that Lao Zhang is a man who has been honest and upright all his life, has nurtured countless talents, and is fearless in his old age. The fact that he is in such a hurry this time means that something serious has happened.
When I arrived at the school, everything seemed fine, but even without Zhao Bailian saying it, I could sense a murderous aura!
When I saw a car with a municipal government license plate parked in front of the teaching building, I immediately had a bad feeling. I looked around and saw Old Zhang standing in the campus with a balding, middle-aged man wearing glasses, pointing and talking. Next to them was a tiny man wearing glasses, a size smaller than the man with glasses, filming with a DV camera.
Just then, 300 ran past me in a line. I stopped them, found Yan Jingsheng, stuffed the prepared red cloth into his hand, pointed at Fatty Ying and said to him, "Take 50 with you first, the kind with a red background, the kind used for making certificates."
Yan Jingsheng looked at me suspiciously, but didn't say anything more, and left with Fatty Ying and 50 soldiers.
I grabbed Xu Delong and said, "Now it's up to you guys. Go to the training ground right away and train like you're in an emergency combat situation. Get serious!"
Government vehicles, furtive DV cameras filming, and grim-faced bureaucrats. Even if I haven't eaten pork, I've seen pigs run—damn it, my school is probably going to be shut down!
Now it all depends on whether my final blow will work. Once Xu Delong and the others were ready, I quietly approached Old Zhang and the man with glasses who were talking.
The bespectacled man was waving one hand and saying, "The teaching building is only three stories high, isn't that too low?"
"A three-story teaching building can accommodate more than 1,000 students, which is enough for most schools."
My sudden appearance startled the bespectacled man. Old Zhang glared at me and said, "Why are you so late?"
The bespectacled man looked at me and asked Old Zhang in confusion, "This is...?"
"Oh, this is Director Xiao of Yucai School, and also the legal representative of the school."
The man with glasses nodded and said, "So, Director Xiao plans to stop accepting students once he has recruited 1,000?"
What a jinx! I don't even want 300, let alone 1000. Imagine the chaos! The 72 Disciples of Confucius, the Five Tiger Generals, the Six Gentlemen of the Imperial Guard, the Four Heavenly Kings... well, let's not count the last one.
I said, "We are a martial arts school, and our enrollment scope is relatively narrow, so 1,000 people will be enough..." Old Zhang suddenly pinched me hard, and I winced in pain.
Glasses smiled and pointed to the dormitory building, saying, "Then there definitely won't be enough rooms for everyone, right?"
I chuckled and said, "Now each dormitory only houses four people, but when we built it, it was designed for eight people, so..." Old Zhang slapped his forehead in frustration. What's going on?