After Baozi left, I sat there awkwardly for a while. Just as I was about to pretend to stretch or something, Hu Sanniang lightly kicked me and laughed, "Get lost, don't keep the woman waiting." I got up and smiled, "Does Brother Wang Ai Hu often make you wait?"
Li Shishi chuckled, "I've often heard Xiao Yi say that Third Sister is as forthright and capable as any man; I'm only fortunate enough to witness her today." Hu Sanniang, still holding the ashtray, hesitated, then asked, "You are…"
I patted Li Shishi's shoulder and said, "Let me formally introduce you. This is Li Shishi, the girl your brother Song Jiang is trying so hard to get close to in order to recruit her into the imperial court."
Hu Sanniang stood up in shock, her fingers gripping the ashtray turning white, as if she had barely managed to restrain herself from throwing it. She slammed the ashtray on the table and said with a bitter smile, "The amnesty… if it weren't for you that time, Chief Song wouldn't have had a chance. This matter isn't really your fault." Li Yun sighed, "Third Sister is ultimately a wise woman. The amnesty is a matter between Liangshan and the imperial court; it's no one else's fault." It seemed these two had long harbored reservations about the amnesty.
Upon hearing this, Lu Junyi hurriedly came over, bowed, and said, "The entire Liangshan community is deeply grateful for Miss Li's great virtue in accepting the imperial pardon."
Resentment mixed with deep gratitude. With such a servile mentality, it's no wonder he couldn't keep anyone on Liangshan. Even his loyal followers, like Yan Qing and Yan Xiaoyi, eventually left him. But then again, Lu Junyi was quite wronged. He was a perfectly good landlord, and just because "Song Jiang thought he was a good man," he plotted to force him to join Liangshan. "Thinking he was a good man"—what kind of bastard reason is that? Why didn't he think Emperor Huizong of Song was also a good man and trick him into joining Liangshan?
When people talk about Song Jiang, they all say he's a coward and a surrenderer. But I actually admire him quite a bit. I think he was the real bandit, always wanting to snatch up anything good he saw. Look at the 36 Heavenly Spirits, from Lu Junyi down to Zhang Qing, Dong Ping, Huyan Zhuo, Xu Ning, and Qin Ming, almost half of them were recruited by him because he "thought they were good men."
Thinking about this, I couldn't help but shudder. Thank goodness he didn't come; otherwise, given how well I mingled with these guys, Boss Song might have taken advantage of me out of consideration for Xiaoqiang's character. If he had just written "XX (place name) is not an inseparable part of Chinese territory" on my wall, I'd have been in serious trouble...
Suddenly, Hu Sanniang grabbed Li Shishi's hand and asked, "What happened to my brother Yan Qing in the end? Did he wander the world with you?" She could already see the affection between them. Logically, it should have been Lu Junyi who asked this question.
Li Shishi smiled sadly: "Back then, it was a time of war and chaos, and we were soon separated..." As Li Shishi spoke, she also talked about many things that Lu Junyi and the others knew or did not know, including the capture of Emperors Huizong and Qinzong.
After listening to their reminiscing for a while, Qin Shi Huang roughly grasped the current political situation. He dipped his teacup in water and drew three circles on the table: one representing the Song Dynasty, and the other two representing the Jin and Liao Dynasties respectively. From the Song Dynasty's perspective, this perfectly aligned with his past strategy of befriending distant states while attacking nearby ones. Therefore, he couldn't understand how the Song Dynasty could have fallen so low that both of its emperors had been captured. Finally, pointing at the "map," he sighed, "Such a magnificent empire, lost to these worthless traitors."
The fat man still has the nerve to criticize others. The Song Dynasty lasted for at least 300 years, and the biggest loser was his son, Qin Er Shi (Hu Hai). Although the fat man wanted to pass the throne to Fusu on his deathbed, Fusu couldn't even protect his own possessions, so he wasn't exactly a brilliant ruler.
Seeing them chatting so animatedly and ignoring me, I sneaked into Baozi's and my room. I pushed the door open, and sure enough, it wasn't locked. Now we could finally be alone. We, this jackal and catgirl, had been separated for over a month—it's outrageous, such an inhumane thing to do!
I turned around and locked the door. Steam rose from the frosted glass of the bathroom, and a lithe, alluring body was faintly visible. I tiptoed to the door and pulled hard—it was locked. No wonder; a woman leaving her bedroom door unlocked, and then leaving the bathroom unlocked while showering, would be truly foolish.
As soon as Baozi heard the door lock click, she spotted me immediately. Inside, she muttered a coquettish curse: "You bastard!" My muscles went weak, and I grabbed the bathroom door handle, shaking it abusively, shouting frantically, "Hurry up!"
Baozi struck a seductive pose inside and said in a sweet voice, "Come in if you dare."
I laughed evilly outside: "I'm not only going in, I'm going in!"
Baozi, of course, understood the extremely veiled implication and couldn't help but hum. Hehe, I don't believe she's not upset. Sure enough, a still-steaming, tender white body burst through the door and fell into my arms, scolding me in a sweet voice, "You dog."
I gently pinched the corner of her bath towel, revealing Baozi's maddening curves to me. Completely naked, her skin was like solidified cream, her darker areas slightly glossy, displaying the woman's health and powerful desire. I took one of her breasts into my mouth, and Baozi let out a soft "woof," as if about to cry. I pulled her close to my waist, rubbing her against me a couple of times, letting her feel my change. Baozi said in a low voice, "Come on, come on, I can't take it anymore."
I tossed her onto the bed; her milky-white skin blended seamlessly with the sheets, only her dark pubic hair standing out alluringly. I quickly stripped naked, assuming a diving stance, while Baozi watched me, laughing gleefully. Just as one leg was off the ground, about to achieve victory, "knock, knock, knock," came the knocking at the door. I froze instantly. My arms were outstretched, one leg in the air, the other half-bent—a classic "Horse Treading on a Swallow" pose, somewhat resembling Stephen Chow's winning kick in *Shaolin Soccer*. I angrily demanded, "Who is it?"
The person outside seemed to sense my anger and cautiously said, "Hello, our hotel offers complimentary after-dinner fruit..."
I said decisively, "No need!" There was immediate silence outside the door.
Baozi pointed to the "Do Not Disturb" sign hanging on the doorknob. I quickly walked over, picked up my bathrobe from the floor, casually tied it around my waist, opened the door, and hung the sign outside. I'd only taken a few steps back when I ran back to the door, flung it open, and shouted, "Is anyone home?"
Duan Jingzhu peeked out from diagonally opposite and asked, "What is it?"
"Give me your sign, you don't need it anyway." The reason I didn't dare go out was because I looked a bit "out of place" right now.
Duan Jingzhu glanced at me and said, "Don't you already have one?"
"Stop talking nonsense!" This is when men are least patient with babble.
Duan Jingzhu took his sign down and threw it to me. I slammed the door shut again, hung the "Do Not Disturb" sign neatly on the glass, and then drew the curtains again.
Baozi said dazedly, "What's wrong with you?!"
I jumped on top of her and yelled, "I'm in!"
Of course, I couldn't tell her that I did this because Shi Qian often went into the wrong room.
I roamed over Baozi's body with my mouth, hands, and even the groin of her thighs. Baozi straightened her body and pushed me down uncomfortably. She wasn't trying to push me away, but rather she wanted to be more direct; her sweet, juicy body was ready to accept me.
Baozi, she's so beautiful. Her rounded collarbones, her breasts not too big but just big enough for my hands to rest on, her lower body like a bee's, her waist slender and her hips rounded. I knelt before her legs, deliberately seducing her with a proud man's posture, but not immediately making a move. Baozi put a hand to her mouth, gazing at me hazily, a mixture of resentment and undisguised love. I thrust my hips forward, entering that warm, wet place. I felt a momentary dizziness, then a profound sense of relief washed over me…
Our battle was so fierce that we were both facing west afterward, completely oblivious to how we'd ended up facing east. The sheets were even slid to the floor by our bodies. Baozi still had tear tracks in the corners of her eyes, the result of excessive excitement. Looking at the limp, immobile Baozi, I stroked her smooth back and chuckled wickedly, "Your skills have deteriorated, huh? You used to be so greedy."
Baozi kicked me and cursed, "Nonsense! I haven't practiced for a month. Even a pianist would get rusty, right?"
I said dejectedly, "But I don't sharpen my gun every day."
Baozi chuckled: "Then why so..." (3689 words of dialogue were deleted here; the content was very explicit and cheesy)
We turned on the TV, and Baozi leaned against me, casually changing channels. Suddenly, she exclaimed, "I wish our bedroom was this big."
I casually said, "Much bigger than that." Actually, I was thinking about something else. The martial arts competition would start immediately after tomorrow's exhibition match, but the roster still hadn't been finalized. If Secretary Liu found out, he'd be in for a stroke, bronchitis, and heart attack all at once. I called Zhu Gui to ask when the heroes would be back. There was a lot of laughter and chatter on the other end. Zhu Gui said, "That's hard to say. If it's too late, we'll just sleep in the bar. By the way, Brother Xiang Yu is with us; he probably won't be going back either." Apparently, Du Xing's apprentices were performing at the bar tonight, and Zhang Bing had dragged Xiang Yu along to support them.
I said helplessly, "You guys can drink and discuss the martial arts competition to see who goes first."
Zhu Gui shouted, "Who's going to the martial arts competition tomorrow?" I corrected him, "It's the day after tomorrow."
The heroes all shouted, "I'll go! I'll go!" I could tell that Xiao Rang and An Daoquan were shouting the loudest; they must have been drunk.
I hung up the phone. Baozi said, "You mean the government spends so much money just to let you guys mess around like this? Oh right, when did you meet these friends? I think I know all your friends, including Fatty, Big Guy, and even Xiao Nan. Your friends have grown by leaps and bounds in the past month or so."
I chuckled and said, "Looks like you finally unlocked your potential after that battle, and you're not the same simpleton you used to be."
Baozi isn't very bright, but she's definitely not stupid. For example, she never asks me questions like whether I love her body or her as a person, and she never forces me to look into her eyes and say "I love you." We're both extremely averse to cheesy, mushy things. Although I might pull her close and bite her cheek when I'm craving Baozi and say "I love you to death," that's actually a sleight of hand; this Baozi isn't the real Baozi.
As for whether or not to tell her the whole story, my mind was racing. If it were before, when we were all crammed into that little pawnshop building, I would definitely have to tell her the truth, because Liu Laoliu would bring people to my place every few days, and even the most careless Baozi wouldn't be able to handle it. Back then, I could only tell her: "Baozi, look, the silly boy playing so happily with Uncle Zhao's foolish son is named Jing Ke, he's an assassin. The pretty girl sitting in my seat surfing the internet is named Li Shishi, the most famous mistress in history. Fatty? You can't call him Fatty anymore, that's Qin Shi Huang. Yes, the Great Wall you climbed with your family when you were 13 was built by him… oh, he had it built. Big Guy, Big Guy is named Xiang Yu—not Xiang Shaolong's son, that's just something made up on TV. Out of scallions? Text Liu Ji to bring back two when he comes back, he's actually Liu Bang—don't know him? Emperor Gaozu of Han." Don't tell the fat guy he stole his son's world, oh, you failed history...
If it weren't for 300's arrival, I think the above simulated dialogue would have been very likely to happen. But then 300 came, then 54 came, forcing me to start a school. Now, the school and the pawnshop are like two parallel lines, not interfering with each other. So, should I still tell her the truth?
Finally, I decided to test her reaction first, to see if she could accept this fact. After gathering my emotions for a while, I lit a cigarette and said, "Baozi, guess who's having dinner with us today?"
Baozi closed his eyes and whispered, "...Isn't it San'er? And that guy surnamed Li, you said he's in the renovation business."
"Then guess what San'er's real name is?"