"Um... what's your name?"
I deliberately said in a fierce tone, "Hu Sanniang!"
Baozi remained unmoved and hummed, "This name... sounds familiar."
I said, "Among the heroes of Liangshan, there is one named Hu Sanniang. San'er is that female bandit!"
Baozi turned over and mumbled in her sleep, "Mmm, go to sleep." Then she started snoring softly...
I sighed, put out my cigarette, and crawled into bed to sleep.
The next day, Baozi and I woke up at the same time. She glanced at her watch and said, "I'm going to work." She got up, fastened her bra, and noticing me looking her over, suddenly asked, "What did you tell me about San'er last night?"
My expression tightened, and I quickly said, "Nothing's wrong."
After Baozi left for a while, I remembered something: she starts work at 10, so now it's...
I jumped up like a shot, grabbed my watch, and saw it was 9:40. I pulled back the curtains and saw that the sun was already shining brightly outside, and roosters were crowing. I quickly pulled them back, because I had just realized that I was completely naked, standing there like some ancient Western hero, proudly looking down on everyone else.
The stadium not far away was already bustling with flags and crowds, with occasional sharp whistles, indicating that the exhibition match had already begun.
I hurriedly dressed, chewed a piece of gum, and rushed out, not caring who was still in the room, heading straight for the stadium. As soon as I reached the entrance, I saw the heroes who had gone drinking yesterday slowly making their way in from another direction, still exhausted from their hangovers, some even staggering. Xiang Yu and Zhang Shun were at the front, looking quite spirited. As we entered the stadium, a large flag above the VIP section caught our eye—that was our seating area.
On that flag, a tiny, single-line figure, magnified countless times, is glaring angrily at a monster opposite him with two triangles stuck in its face...
Xiang Yu paused for a moment when he saw the flag, then patted my shoulder and said, "...Wangyuecai Martial Arts School, hmm, not bad, not bad—"
Chapter Two: Harry Potter
I entered the VIP section and saw that Lu Junyi and the others were already seated there. I complained, "You didn't even call me before you left."
Wu Yong laughed and said, "You've plastered those signs everywhere like talismans to ward off evil spirits, how could we possibly bother you...?"
I chuckled awkwardly and tapped Ni Siyu's head, saying, "Spend more time reading books and don't hang out with these people. Did you drink again yesterday?"
Ni Siyu said innocently, "What are you doing? I just got here!"
That's when I realized she really wasn't with Zhang Shun and his group. Sitting next to her was a pale-faced, frail man with eyes that darted around occasionally—it was Zhao Bailian. Beside him, Jing Ersha held a transistor radio, their heads pressed against it, one on each side, wearing angelic, idiotic smiles…
I asked in surprise, "Xiao Zhao, what brings you here?"
Jing Ke chuckled and said, "I sent him."
How did you notify him?
Li Shishi interjected, "I called Grandpa Zhao for him."
I asked Zhao Bailian, "Did you walk over here?"
Zhao Bailian slowly shook his head, then made a swinging motion and said, "I'll run!" Jing Ke laughed heartily and put his arm around Zhao Bailian's shoulder.
These two idiots have such a good relationship!
More than 60 teams signed up for the group martial arts performance. The organizing committee planned to complete the event within one day, so time was tight. Therefore, while one team was performing, four other teams had to prepare in a designated area. The 300 soldiers of the Yue Family Army were already the last in line to perform, almost ready to go on stage. I waved to them from afar. The soldiers had sharp eyes and all looked in my direction. Xu Delong smiled at me, with Yan Jingsheng beside him. In the neat formation, Li Jingshui playfully gave me an American military salute; I wondered where she learned it.
I sighed inwardly: 300 is still the most worry-free unit; discipline truly is the lifeblood of an army. This small squad of 300 men, all dead in battle, not a single one surrendered, not even a deserter. Their loyalty rate is probably over 99.8%. Now they're dressed in the fake Puma tracksuits they bought from Black Widow, looking sharp and fully equipped. I really don't want them to leave.
I shoved Ni Siyu, who was sitting in the front row, aside and snatched her binoculars to watch the performance. Just as Ni Siyu was about to unleash her fierce, girlish side and retaliate, she spotted Xiang Yu, feigned a pitiful, tearful look, and grabbed his arm, pleading, "Big brother, Xiao Qiang bullied me..."
The group performing was from the Jingwu Free Fighting Club upstairs. I don't know how they compare to the Jingwu School founded by Huo Yuanjia; they might be some distant, distant descendant of a ...
More than 20 people rushed onto the stage, brandished their fists a few times, and then one of them stood in a horse-riding stance. Another person took a few steps and leaped onto the first person's shoulder, another person took dozens of steps and leaped onto the second person's shoulder, and yet another person took dozens of steps and leaped onto the third person's shoulder...
To make a long story short, after all the Liangshan heroes had met Li Shishi in turn, the human pyramid on the field had reached the eighth person, swaying precariously towards the sky, a truly magnificent sight. The other dozen or so people on the sidelines pretended to practice martial arts, much like the eighteen Arhats in the movie "The God of Cookery."
This show has two main highlights. The first is the load-bearing capacity of the person at the very bottom. This person is around 40 years old and likely hauled coal in tunnels barely wide enough for one person to crawl through when he was younger; his shoulders are extremely strong. The second highlight is the height. When the ninth person climbed up like an ape, the audience cheered and screamed.
Of course, with current human technology, it wouldn't be surprising to see people piled up into the troposphere using all sorts of high-tech methods. But the danger lies in the fact that they had no safety equipment whatsoever. Nine people were crammed together in a line, and the one on top could practically reach out and pluck a hydrogen balloon from the conference hall. Imagine if an Indian man with a turban sat next to them playing the flute; who knows if they would have been lifted into the sky like that rope.
This nearly 10-meter-long human ladder performance captivated the entire audience and earned them a great deal of applause.
Zhang Qing, holding a cup lid, said to me, "Do you think they might pose a threat to our winning the award? Should I knock the top one down?"
Wu Yong, assessing the situation through his telescope, said, "We should attack the one at the very bottom..."
Zhang Qing: "If we shoot the one at the top, one person will die. If we shoot the one at the bottom, at least three or four people will die. Xiao Qiang, you decide."
I turned the binoculars to maximum magnification and said, "No need to shoot. The judges like to go against the audience; the louder the cheers, the worse it is."
Zhang Qing chuckled: "I was just kidding. I've hardly ever killed anyone."
In fact, our worries were unnecessary; all five judges were unimpressed with the program. The chairman of the judging panel, the president of the Chinese Wushu Association, was pointing at the table, looking at the upcoming program list. The other two old men were chatting and laughing, seemingly oblivious to what they were saying, and didn't even glance at the stage. The old Taoist priest was adjusting his hat. As for the old monk, he had been sitting cross-legged with his eyes down since I first saw him, probably because he hadn't slept well the night before.
After the acrobatic troupe left, the next act was completely unwatchable; two men were just slowly passing a spear to each other. Lin Chong, standing beside me, praised, "These two have excellent skills, their killing moves are endless. If they were on the battlefield, they would definitely be two formidable fighters." The judges also turned their attention to the performance. I shoved the binoculars into Lin Chong's hand and said with a sneer, "You guys are just going against the people!"
I went down from the audience to 300, patted Xu Delong on the shoulder, and asked him, "How's the preparation going?"
Xu Delong nodded: "No problem."
"By the way, what were you guys supposed to perform again?"
Xu Delong said: "A set of collective stick techniques."
I looked at them and noticed a problem: "Where are your sticks?"
Xu Delong said, "I forgot to buy it. I've thought about it. When we go up there, we just need to make a show of it. Anyone with knowledge will know what we're practicing."