I watched helplessly as the two arrows, fired at each other, collided in an extremely lewd manner, like a pheasant and a hooligan who had been separated for many years. First, the arrowheads kissed each other passionately, and then, under the impact of their forces, they rose up at the same time, embraced, made a slapping sound of mating, and fell to the ground.
And then guess what I heard next? Hmm, most people probably guessed it by now. I heard "slap slap slap slap slap (22 slaps omitted)"—that's the sound.
The two women fired 27 sets of arrows, totaling 54, at once, all converging in mid-air with astonishingly perfect force, position, and alignment. Most remarkably, after landing, all 54 arrows maintained the same entangled, embraced posture: the two women stood facing north and south, while the 54 arrows lined up neatly in 27 pairs on the ground, facing east…
For a long time afterward, I was speechless, finally unable to hold back my exclamation, "Holy crap!" At the same time, everyone around me expressed their shock with the same exclamation, and for a moment, the entire Liangshan Mountain resounded with a chorus of praise: "Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap (more than a hundred holy craps omitted here)..."
Chapter 119 Recruiting the Army
If anyone still had doubts about the battle between Wu Song and Fang Zhenjiang, Er Hua's performance completely dispelled all doubts.
Few could truly understand the fight between Wu Song and Fang Yi, because Wu Song's fighting style was too unpredictable, making it difficult to determine whether the two were even from the same school. Furthermore, even if Wu Song was highly skilled, theoretically, if you've been to Shaolin Temple to learn martial arts, others have been there too, so fighting him to a standstill wouldn't be too difficult.
The second Hua was different. Not only was it almost impossible for anyone in the world to surpass Hua Rong in archery, but there were also very few who could even be his equal. Although Pang Wanchun was also highly skilled, he couldn't coordinate with Hua Rong to this extent. After I put my hand down, Hua 1 and Hua 2 simply shot their own arrows, their arrows seemingly colliding unintentionally—a high degree of harmony. Because Hua 2 had told Hua 1: "It's like being on a battlefield." With this premise, their minds worked in unison, and the treacherous archery techniques they had honed over the years produced arrows with trajectories as if measured by a machine, allowing them to exchange arrows every time.
It must be said that Hua Rong 2 is different from Fang Zhenjiang. He was snatched directly from a comatose patient. When he woke up, all his memories were still of Hua Rong. The literary youth Ran Dongye was essentially never there. In other words, although Hua Rong 2 is a young man in his twenties, he is still the Hua Rong who has just left Liangshan. Many of his habits and ways of thinking are still Liangshan-style. His tacit understanding with the Hua Rong 1 on the mountain is at least several times higher than that of Fang Zhenjiang and Wu Song. Basically, it's like one person split into two bodies.
After the four of them had their duel, the remaining 54 people had no more doubts. After I took out a bunch of random things and distributed them to everyone, they were even more carefree—the ancients weren't fools. Seeing the singing little box (telephone) and the transparent pieces (Wu Yong's glasses), they knew I came from another world, just like how we now know a Jedi Knight is a big-headed ugly guy holding a glow stick buzzing as he walks out of a spaceship—if a conman built a spaceship that could travel faster than the speed of light just to scam you out of a few hundred dollars, the cost would be far too high.
After a brief period of lively discussion, a frustrated Song Jiang finally summoned everyone back to the Hall of Loyalty and Righteousness. As for why he was frustrated, we can understand it as the reason why this leader of Liangshan had been relegated to a supporting role ever since his arrival. His screen time was even less than Duan Jingzhu's.
After everyone quieted down, Song Jiang said, "Brothers, although I don't quite understand what happened between you, can we settle the matter of accepting the imperial pardon?"
Many people nodded in agreement.
Song Hei Pang's eyes lit up as he said, "Then let's talk about how to recruit them..."
I stood up and said, "That's not difficult. The emperor's favorite woman is named Li Shishi. We can achieve our goal through her."
Song Jiang said happily, "You've come up with such a method. Now tell me the specific steps."
Without even a second thought, I said, "Then I'll have to go to the capital myself, brother. The people I need to take with me are: Dean Dai, Li Kui..." As I said this, my eyes couldn't help but be fixed on the face of the fair-skinned young man sitting at the end of the Heavenly Seats. This was the famous playboy Yan Qing. This young man had a face as white as jade and high-arched eyebrows, naturally exuding a touch of charm. In modern times, he would definitely be the kind of guy who could sit down in a bar and have girls come up to him.
Yan Qing noticed that almost half the people were looking at him, and said somewhat uncomfortably, "Why are you all looking at me?"
I scratched my head. I hadn't figured out how to get close to Li Shishi yet. Should I send Yan Qing to seduce her again, or just take a pill and be done with it? The former seemed a bit unfair to Jin Shaoyan, but what would happen to Li Shishi for the rest of her life if she took the pill?
Just then, someone came to report: "The navy has captured an official ship of the imperial court, and there is a Grand Commandant on board. Brother Song Jiang, please decide whether to kill him or punish him."
I quickly asked, "What is the Grand Commandant's surname?"
The scout touched his head and said, "It seems his surname is Wang."
I scratched my head too: "Surname Wang? Not Chen or Su?" I remember that only these two came to Liangshan to surrender. The one surnamed Chen was beaten up by Li Kui, and the one surnamed Su was alright.
Wu Yong asked the scout, "You said the enemy only sent one ship?"
"Yes."
Wu Yong adjusted his glasses and said confidently, "They've probably come to offer amnesty."
Upon hearing this, Song Jiang hurriedly stood up and said, "Quickly invite Lord Wang in—oh dear, I'll go greet him myself."
Wu Yong subtly pressed him into his seat and instructed the scout, "Bring up that Grand Commandant surnamed Wang." Then he whispered in Song Jiang's ear, "Brother, the situation is unclear, it's not wise to act too hastily. It would be disgraceful for Liangshan to lose face."
Upon hearing this, Song Jiang nodded slightly and sat down expressionlessly.
After the scout left, Wu Yong fanned himself with his feather fan a couple of times and said, "Brothers, let's get our stories straight. What should we do if it really is the imperial court coming to offer us amnesty?"
Wu Song, quick-witted at this moment, casually said, "Then let's agree to it. The reason we accept the imperial pardon is so that we won't be attacked from both sides when dealing with Fang La. We can rebel and join Liangshan after we defeat Fang La."
Everyone said, "That's a good idea."
Song Jiang: "..."
A moment later, two henchmen escorted in a middle-aged man. The old man trembled but tried to remain calm. He was dressed in an official robe covered in birds, but his official hat was missing. When he saw more than a hundred fierce-looking figures gathered in the hall, his legs started to tremble. However, he had prepared himself mentally before coming, so he managed to stand up straight with some difficulty.
Before Song Jiang could even ask a question, Zhang Heng accidentally turned on the speakerphone while playing with his younger brother's phone, and a clueless voice sang out, "His eldest uncle and his second uncle are both his uncles!"
Upon hearing this, Old Wang finally couldn't take it anymore and collapsed to the ground with a thud. Everyone glared at Zhang Heng, and Zhang Shun quickly snatched the phone and turned it off.
Song Jiang said gently, "Lord Wang, please don't be alarmed. Liangshan is a small place with few people. Most of my brothers are from humble backgrounds and have never seen such a grand scene. May I ask what brings you here, sir?"
Grand Commandant Wang's face was deathly pale, his facial expression twitching. He struggled for a moment but couldn't get up, so he simply sat on the ground and weakly said, "I have come to offer my homage to you all by order of the Emperor (he cupped his hands in a gesture that looked more like the mouse holding pine nuts from Ice Age)."
Dong Ping readily agreed, "Sure, we've already discussed it and agree to the offer of amnesty."
He suddenly made a witty remark, and Grand Commandant Wang said with a mournful face, "My hero, please stop joking. Although my life is in your hands, I am still paid by the emperor and cannot stand by and watch you treat the imperial edict as a joke."
When the heroes realized he had misunderstood their good intentions, they all chimed in, "We're not lying to you, it's true."
Grand Commandant Wang was almost in tears. In his view, these bandits were making fun of him like this, so he was probably not far from death.
Song Jiang waved his hands and coughed until he finally managed to quiet the scene. Then, he put on a smiling face and said to Grand Commandant Wang, "Lord Wang, please don't be suspicious. Although we may seem unruly while temporarily residing at Liangshan, we are forced by treacherous officials and sincerely pray for Your Majesty's favor..."
Fang Zhenjiang said impatiently, "In short, it's just a matter of agreeing to the amnesty. Why say so much?" He was the only one among those present who dared to contradict Song Jiang like that. The others were secretly pleased, but on the surface they all said, "Let's hear what our elder brother has to say."
Song Jiang, having been given such a rebuke, was speechless. Wang Taiwei, observing their expressions, finally came to a useful conclusion: these bandits might genuinely want to be granted amnesty—so he tentatively said, “His Majesty has said that if you heroes truly intend to be granted amnesty, you need not come to the capital to meet him. You can lead your troops immediately to Jiangnan to quell Fang La's rebellion. He has specially appointed Song Jiang as the Vanguard of the Northern Expedition, and after Fang La is pacified, he will be further granted the title of Baoyi Lang and allowed to travel to Bianjing to pay homage to His Majesty.”
Everyone was overjoyed and said, "This is like a pillow being given to someone who is sleepy."
Song Jiang faced north and kowtowed, saying, "Your subject, Song Jiang, the vanguard of the Northern Expedition, thanks Your Majesty for your great favor."
Seeing that the hall was filled with people laughing, chatting, and kowtowing, and the scene was extremely chaotic, Wang Taiwei was certain of one thing: the bandits were not enraged. No one came up to beat them or cut off their ears. He couldn't help but sigh that his ancestors' graves were smoking and his luck was booming.
Even an idiot could tell that Emperor Huizong's so-called offer of amnesty was utterly insincere. The titles of "Vanguard of the Northern Expedition" and "Guardian of Righteousness" were not only empty honors, but even if officially enlisted, they would only be low-ranking officials. The idea of sending Liangshan to first suppress Fang La was wishful thinking and utterly nonsensical. In essence, this was a desperate, pointless attempt by the emperor to test the waters.
Wang Taiwei carefully got up. Seeing that no one was really mistreating him, his face gradually regained color and he became more confident: "You may all go and bathe and change your clothes. I will formally read the imperial edict after three sticks of incense have burned."