To everyone's surprise, Li Yuanba waved his hand dismissively, seemingly uninterested: "I'm not going!"
"...Why?" Did this idiot really become a Buddha after listening to Xuanzang's lectures for two days?
Li Yuanba tugged at his clothes, sullenly saying, "Apart from Yuwen, nobody can withstand three or two of my moves. Fighting is so boring." Yuwen Chengdu laughed and scolded, "You're so arrogant!"
I pulled him along, coaxing him like a creepy uncle trying to seduce a little girl: "This guy is really something else, have you heard of Lu Bu?"
Li Yuanba asked blankly, "Lu Bu? What is that?"
At this moment, Qin Qiong and the others gathered around when they heard the name Lü Bu. Cheng Yaojin slapped Li Yuanba on the head and said, "Silly boy, Lü Bu is the number one warrior in the Three Kingdoms."
Upon hearing the words "the number one fierce man," Li Yuanba's eyes lit up, and he exclaimed, "Really?"
Qin Qiong asked me in a low voice, "How did you end up fighting with Lü Bu?"
I sighed and said, "It's a long story. I'll have Xiuxiu explain it to you in detail later. Right now, I have to take Yuanba to the Three Kingdoms."
Qin Qiong said, "The Three Kingdoms? Isn't my most admired Guan Yu from the Three Kingdoms period?"
I laughed and said, "Brother Guan also wanted to see Brother Qin before he left."
Qin Qiong was flattered and said, "Then I'll go with you."
I scratched my head and said, "Isn't that a bit much?" Although Qin Qiong and the others should be fine as long as they don't return to the Tang Dynasty, it's better to avoid trouble at this juncture.
Qin Qiong pointed at Li Yuanba and said, "That kid needs someone to keep an eye on him, otherwise he's likely to get into trouble. Fortunately, he listens to me quite well."
I've also heard Xuanzang say that because Qin Qiong had done a favor for the Li family, Li Yuan had warned Li Yuanba not to harm Qin Qiong when Li Yuanba went to quell the eighteen rebel kings. Li Yuanba was most afraid of his father, so he listened to Qin Qiong's words without question.
Hearing Qin Qiong say this, I was afraid that this simpleton would be uncontrollable, so I could only say, "Then I'll trouble you, Second Brother, to come with me."
In an instant, countless people appeared in front of and behind me, shouting, "Me too! Me too!" Hearing that they were going to help Guan Yu carry the stakes in the Three Kingdoms period, these people rushed forward like madmen. Fang Zhenjiang and Wang Yin also joined in the commotion, while Yang Lin and several veteran generals stood on the periphery out of respect for their status, but their eyes kept glancing in my direction.
I excitedly broke free of the crowd, shouting, "Don't rush, there are only 7 seats on the bus!"
At this moment, Li Yuanba finally understood who Lü Bu was, and grinned, "Hehe, I have to go and have a go at this Lü Bu kid." The ugly boy suddenly looked around and said dejectedly, "But I don't have a suitable weapon."
Everyone was taken aback. If it's about swords and spears, you can find them in any dynasty. Li Yuanba used a hammer, so it shouldn't be hard to find either. But a 400-pound hammer is something you can't find anywhere—why would an ordinary person make a 400-pound hammer?
Li Yuanba pushed through the crowd and began looking around the campus. Everyone had just finished lunch, and Xiao Liu, having finished his work, was squatting on a strange rock near the cafeteria entrance, smoking. Li Yuanba spotted him immediately. He strode over, picked up Xiao Liu, and tossed him aside. He then examined the large rock Xiao Liu had just been squatting on—strictly speaking, it wasn't a rock, but a perfectly oval, barrel-shaped object, about the height of a person and the thickness of a woman in her tenth month of pregnancy, resembling a large water vat used in olden times. However, it was solid, with a rough, grainy surface, similar to a giant lump of cow dung.
This thing has a history. It's definitely not an ordinary stone; it was dug up from the ground during the construction of the new campus. The elders say it's a product of the Great Leap Forward's steel production campaign. Its predecessor was probably countless iron pots and pans in households, which, due to insufficient heat, turned into a strange creature. Many places still retain quite a few of these things; they can't be smashed or broken, they're incredibly heavy, so they have to be buried in the ground. Since it still looked somewhat decent, I decided to reuse it as a decoration.
Li Yuanba took an immediate liking to it and carried it over. He was less than 1.7 meters tall, and the thing almost reached his chest. Judging by its weight, it must have weighed at least 400 jin (200 kg).
I said, "You're planning to use this?"
Li Yuanba wrapped his arm around the cow dung like he was holding a girl's waist, and said excitedly, "That's it!"
Qin Qiong said, "You don't even have a handle on this, how can you use it?"
Li Yuanba put down the dung stone, scratched his head, and suddenly noticed the barbell on the ground. He reached for it, picked it up, and hammered it twice into the dung stone, embedding the barbell deep into the rock. Li Yuanba grabbed the other end, hoisted the dung stone onto his shoulder, and waved at me: "Let's go, let's go find that brat Lü Bu and fight him!"
Everyone laughed when they saw that he was such a small child carrying such a big thing, like a dung beetle carrying a dung heap.
This also has an advantage. As far as I know, Li Yuanba was struck by lightning and killed during a thunderstorm because he was cursing the heavens while holding a giant hammer. The superstitious explanation is that the heavens were enraged. But now, it seems the ugly child was actually holding up a lightning rod. With this new weapon, cursing at the thunder god is no longer a problem; this thing is completely insulated from lightning!
Chapter 141 A Slave of Three Surnames
After loading the cow dung stones into the vehicle, a problem arose: with this huge thing in place, the carriage that used to seat six people could now only fit four at most. Since they were going to help with the fight, weapons were very important. These eighteen heroes used all sorts of weapons, and seeing how eagerly they signed up for the Three Kingdoms day trip, I could only say, "Those with easy-to-match weapons will be given priority—Brother Qin, you know these people better than I do, so you can decide the remaining four spots."
After I said that, Yuwen Chengdu and Wu Tianxi, who both wield halberds, glared at me and fell silent. There's nothing we can do about unpopular weapons, just like some mobile phones support all kinds of chargers, which is a huge advantage when you go out!
Even Wei Wentong, the master swordsman, and Zuo Tiancheng, the commander of the Golden Saber Hall, took a few steps back. Broadswords were easy to find, but Guan Yu was the ancestor of swordsmen. If even Guan Yu couldn't handle it, wouldn't the two of them be slapping Guan Yu in the face?
Several of the heroes who used hammers were also considering retiring, as with Li Yuanba around, they basically had no chance to show their skills.
I suggested that Qin Qiong find someone, but someone immediately objected, saying, "Are your maces easy to find?"
Qin Qiong chuckled and replied, "I can also use a gun."
Luo Cheng stepped forward and said leisurely, "Count me in if you're using a gun. I can borrow one from Zhao Zilong." I really couldn't stand his arrogance. He implied that Zhao Yun was inferior to him in using a gun. Besides, was Zhao Yun even there at Hulao Pass? However, Qin Qiong immediately decided, "Then cousin, you can go with me."
Although none of them particularly liked this kid, when it came to guns, none of them could deny his superiority. Ding Yanping's dual pistols were originally exceptional, but unfortunately, he ended up teaching Luo Cheng the trick of using one pistol to defeat two, so there was nothing he could do now—he was originally very competitive, and using dual pistols wouldn't have been a problem; he could have just borrowed two people from him.
At this moment, a man stood in front of Qin Qiong and said calmly, "Do you think I can be counted in?" It was Shan Xiongxin.
Qin Qiong and the others felt a vague sense of guilt towards him, while Yang Lin and the others admired Shan Xiongxin's character. Although his skills were average, no one dared to challenge him.
Qin Qiong said with a forced smile, "Then I'll have to trouble you, Second Brother."
Now, with the addition of the protagonist Li Yuanba, four people have been decided, and the final spot is still being debated without a resolution. My original intention was to send Hua Rong, but he's already been to Liangshan. For unit overseas study trips, we need to consider colleagues who haven't been before, otherwise it'll be easy to get gossip. We know these eighteen heroes are all petty-minded…
As we were arguing, a simple, honest farmer silently got into the passenger seat, leaned out, and shouted at us, "Stop arguing, let's go!"
The crowd erupted in uproar: "Who are you?"
Before I could speak, the farmer calmly said, "I am Zhou Cang."
No one spoke...
Going back to the Three Kingdoms period, we really need someone like that. Although I vaguely remember that Guan Yu only recruited Zhou Cang when he was riding alone for a thousand miles, he would still be familiar with the geography and local customs. Besides, Zhou Cang was extremely loyal to Guan Yu and would help Guan Yu settle scores, so it was only natural for him to go. Therefore, no one said anything more.
Looking at the dejected crowd, I comforted them, saying, "Don't be discouraged, we have plenty of opportunities. We have offices in the Tang, Song, Yuan, Ming, and Qing dynasties..."
I stepped into the car, when suddenly I felt a movement on my leg. I looked down and saw a beautifully sculpted child clinging to my leg, staring at me with wide eyes. I quickly knelt down, patted the child's head, and said, "Little Elephant, you're here too?"
Cao Xiaoxiang stared at me longingly, hesitating several times before finally holding on tightly. I hugged him and whispered, "Daddy's going this time to see your dad... but it seems your dad doesn't recognize you yet..."