I suddenly realized that these 5,000 men were likely not ordinary soldiers; no foreign reinforcement force had ever arrived in a single unit of 5,000 before. They were probably the secret weapon Zhu Yuanzhang had mentioned!
So mysterious, could it be a chemical weapon? The Ming army's usual low profile is probably to cooperate with this force.
I hurriedly rode my horse to the Ming army base, where Hu Yier was already there. Standing next to him was an adjutant. The 5,000 newly arrived Ming soldiers looked unremarkable, but they were tightly clustered around a row of boxes loaded on a large cart.
The adjutant was named Wang Basan, but because it was easy to mispronounce, he was usually just called General Wang or General Basan in the army. As soon as Wang Basan saw me, he knelt on one knee and said, "Grand Tutor Xiao!" Hu Yier whispered, "Just call me Marshal."
I pulled Wang Basan aside and whispered to him, "Is the secret weapon the Emperor was talking about you guys?"
Wang Basan nodded smugly, signaling his men to open the boxes. My heart pounded with tension, my eyes glued to the boxes. After opening them, each box was covered with a red cloth; there were 20 boxes in total. Twenty soldiers stood before them, and at Wang Basan's command, they all lifted the red cloth. I couldn't help but mutter, "Holy crap!"
The red cloth was lifted, revealing 20 gray cannons! I know the Ming Dynasty had cannons; Zheng He's voyages to the Western Ocean were equipped with such weapons. But they already existed during the reign of Zhu Yuanzhang?
Wang Basan said with boundless admiration, "Reporting to the Marshal, these guys were designed with the personal involvement of our Emperor—His Majesty is truly wise and powerful, a genius of unparalleled talent!"
I understand now. This thing did appear earlier than before because Zhu Yuanzhang regained his memory. The principle of this one-piece single-barreled cannon couldn't be simpler; it's basically just a big firework. As long as the materials are of good quality, casting isn't complicated.
I asked, "Do these things have names?"
Wang Basan said, "The ministers in the court all requested that it be named the Hongwu Cannon, but the emperor doesn't seem satisfied. He is researching cannons that can fire even further."
I nodded and said, "Actually, the name 'Hongwu Cannon' is quite good. The cannons invented later can also be called that. For example, this one is called the Type 83 Hongwu Cannon, and the later ones are called the Type 84 and Type 85."
Wang Basan exclaimed in surprise, "This humble general is not fortunate enough to have such an honor!" I thought it wouldn't work either. If the 700,000 Ming troops returned and chanted "1-2-1" in their slogans, and used the Type 83 cannons, wouldn't Zhu Yuanzhang be furious?
"Is this thing powerful?" I asked.
Wang Basan regained his confidence and said, "This is the most powerful weapon I have ever seen. Filled with shotgun shells, even gods and ghosts will not survive within 30 zhang!"
I clicked my tongue and said, "The range is too short."
Wang Basan said, "If we use iron-core bullets, we can hit targets more than two miles away."
I said, "Let's give it a try first."
Wang Basan hurriedly ordered his men to load the ammunition. Five thousand men were responsible for 20 cannons; most were there to ensure the transport of gunpowder and shells, but the rest were all skilled workers. Loading a standard shell took less than a minute. Wang Basan, torch in hand, looked at the fuse pulling out of the cannon and asked me, "Marshal, where should we fire?"
I pointed at the Jin camp and said, "Nonsense, attack that way!"
It was just past 4 o'clock, the time when the Jin soldiers were throwing stones. Calling it throwing stones was a bit of a show of force; they didn't dare leave their camp gates anymore, just picking up a few stones and symbolically tossing them in our direction. These stone-throwing bastards were busy having a good time, and when they saw us pushing out 20 long iron cannons from the camp and aiming them at them, they were puzzled. With a wave of his hand, Wang Ba lit the fuses of 20 Type 83 (let's call them that for now) Hongwu cannons, which hissed and sputtered, instantly producing a deafening, earth-shaking roar. Cannonballs the size of fists flew over the heads of these Jin soldiers and crashed deep into their camp. Soon after, the cries of agony could be heard in the distance.
I nodded in satisfaction and said to Wang Ba San, "Try switching them all to shotgun shells."
Shotgun shells were made by filling the cannon barrel with iron sheets, lead balls, stones, and other materials, and then blasting them out by the pressure of the gunpowder explosion. The Ming army lowered the cannon muzzle, aimed it at the Jin soldiers at the gate, and then lit the fuse. The Jin soldiers, as if struck by lightning, shouted "I'm dead!" and turned to run. After 20 booming shots, the thick wooden palisade in front of the Jin camp was blasted into fragments and dust, the dust and smoke lingering for a long time. This time, the disciplined Jin soldiers dared not take a step forward to inspect the damage. Through my binoculars, I saw Jin Wuzhu, who hadn't even had time to put on his armor, running out of his tent with a shocked expression, looking in our direction. Not only them, but the allied forces were also startled by the cannon fire and rushed to see. When they learned that it was their allies' new weapon displaying its power, they erupted in cheers and applause.
I smiled and said, "The power is there, but the quantity is too small. The Emperor is too stingy."
Wang Basan said, "This shows that the Marshal has misunderstood the Emperor. We only have 40 Hongwu cannons in the whole country."
In any case, Zhu Yuanzhang's deterrent weaponry finally brought us a new situation. The morale of the Jin army was at an all-time low, and even those few who were forced out to throw stones were listless, often hitting their own feet with the projectiles.
Seeing that the time was finally ripe, I wrote a spirited declaration of war and sent it over. The letter stated that our allied forces had acquired incredibly powerful weapons of mass destruction and equally advanced conventional weapons, and now ordered you to comply with the following two conditions: First, immediately cease throwing stone projectiles and promise to forever abandon this unfriendly behavior; second, immediately release the two esteemed ladies, Xiang and Li, and apologize for this, otherwise we have the right to first and unilaterally use our weapons of mass destruction to resolutely annihilate them!
Additional note: If the two sides officially go to war, we do not promise not to be the first to use destructive weapons—Jin Shaoyan has made many contacts and has found an Italian international arms dealer, who is said to be able to obtain nuclear weapons.
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Author's Note: This chapter quotes some recent international events and is not intended to praise or criticize any side. Ethnic conflicts are never a matter of right and wrong. May the whole world love peace in the near future!
Chapter 168 Postmodern Warfare
On the afternoon of the day the Hongwu cannons arrived, we could clearly feel the change in the morale of the Jin army. Before, although they were surrounded, they were still relatively orderly. But now, the sentries on patrol were sitting under their bunkers chatting idly, only reluctantly getting up to stroll around when their officers yelled at them.
This situation is normal. Previously, when we had 3 million people surrounding their 800,000, it was only a little over three times their size. It's like two people fighting, one less than 1.5 meters tall and the other 1.8 meters. Even though you know it's difficult to win, since both are human, you can at least bite them a few times before you kill me. But if the opponent is someone like Spider-Man, Batman, or Iron Man, I don't think there's any need to be nervous or on guard.
The generals unanimously advised me to strike while the iron was hot and bombard the Jin camp relentlessly, but I rejected the idea. To be honest, 20 crude cannons wouldn't give us an overwhelming advantage. Our real advantage lay in the Jin soldiers' ignorance and lack of knowledge, so the later bombardments were mostly for deterrence. I didn't want to use 20 heavy-duty cannons to slowly but surely whittle down 800,000 men, pushing them to the brink of desperation—that wouldn't be worth it.
However, it's not like I had no solution. I had Wang Yin photocopy a lot of leaflets, promoting our allied forces' love of peace and portraying their commander, Jin Wuzhu, as a warmongering, violent leader who disregarded the lives of his soldiers for his own benefit... The leaflets were attached to "Terracotta Warrior No. 3" and stuffed into cannons before being fired. Wang Yin remembered that his great-uncle had served as a propaganda captain during the Chinese Civil War, addressing the Kuomintang army. He even went out of his way to obtain a passionate and sincere speech, which Xiuxiu and Maosui took turns reading to the other side.
Another problem was the artillery shells. Zhu Yuanzhang brought me enough gunpowder and a good amount of iron-core bullets, but we usually used grapeshot, and eventually we ran out of small stones, sticks, and other debris in the allied camp. I had a sudden inspiration and solved this problem along with another one that had been bothering us for a long time: household waste.
The 3 million-strong Allied army generates tens of tons of domestic waste every day. Since we lack a waste disposal site, we can only temporarily make do with the haphazard dumping, posing a significant threat to the soldiers' lives and health. I simply told Wang Basan to use this garbage as cannonballs, fill them with gunpowder, and fire them all towards the Jin army.
At first, the Jin army didn't take it seriously, even being quite pleased. The colorful wrappers and plastic bags fluttering down from the sky were not only pretty, but many were also collectibles. Even the female celebrities printed on instant noodles looked like pornographic magazine covers to them. But as time went on, they realized something was wrong. The garbage and liquids, after a while, emitted a pungent, unpleasant odor, and within half a day, flies and mosquitoes swarmed—a complete disaster for their densely populated military camp.
And so our daily life began: In the morning, the Qin army would launch leaflets using "Terracotta Warrior No. 3," followed by a half-hour "Good Morning Northern Song" radio program hosted by Xiuxiu and Maosui. Next, the Ming army would dump the garbage we had generated the previous day into the Jin army camp using the Hongwu cannons. At noon, the "recruitment team" composed of Li Yuanba, Yuwen Chengdu, and others would routinely challenge the Jin army at their gates; their main responsibility was to find weapons for soldiers whose weapons were not yet suitable.
From 3 to 4 pm, we strictly adhered to our promise of a complete ceasefire, allowing us to watch the Jin soldiers on the other side come out for a walk and perform a spectacle of throwing stones at their own feet. The evening's entertainment was rather monotonous, consisting mainly of a one-sided bonfire party and eating instant noodles and canned food, which spurred the enemy on the other side into a frenzy—the Jin army's provisions were probably already running low, and I saw many scavenging our trash to survive. Later, I came up with a way to enrich the Jin soldiers' leisure time: I had Wang Yin get them a whole bunch of music tapes to play. There were pieces like "Erquan Yingyue," "A Chinese Ghost Story," and "Requiem," the kind of music that instantly evoked feelings of despair and homesickness.
Two more days passed, and the Jin soldiers no longer resembled an army at all. Most of the time, they slept in tents patched together from disposable mess boxes. When it was time for exercise, they would come out and forage for some food. At night, they would continue to sit in their tents, listening to funeral music and lost in thought. This loose yet fulfilling postmodern lifestyle transformed many of these soldiers into performance artists and poets.
On the morning of the third day, an unfamiliar force of 20,000 men encamped behind the Tang army. Their leader, riding in a bronze chariot, passed through the Tang ranks and arrived directly in front of the Qin army, who were distributing leaflets. Wang Ben, who was commanding his troops, was shocked upon seeing this man and exclaimed, "Your Majesty!"
The fat Qin emperor slowly stepped down from the carriage and nodded slightly. Upon seeing this, tens of thousands of Qin soldiers immediately prostrated themselves on the ground, shouting loudly, "Your Majesty!"
I heard a commotion outside, ran out, and saw Qin Shi Huang. I shouted, "Brother Ying, what brings you here?"
Qin Shi Huang grabbed my hand and asked, "Did those Baozi and Shishi come out to get some oil?"
I said, "Not yet. We're trying to figure it out."
Fatty Ying glared at Wang Ben and said, "What's wrong with you? Did I let you come here and make a scene?"
Wang Ben said in a panic, "Your Majesty, please forgive me."
I quickly said, "It's not his fault. The situation is a bit complicated, let's go inside and talk about it."