Sun Sixin suppressed a laugh and said, "Look at what you're saying, today isn't..." Before he could finish speaking, a burly man with a shaved head climbed out of an Audi A6, not even closing the door. He slapped me so hard I stumbled, and yelled in a loud voice, "Brother Qiang, congratulations! Your son's one-month celebration and you didn't even bother to let us know. We have to come here ourselves, are you afraid we can't afford a gift?"
I turned around and saw it was Tiger. I quickly smiled apologetically and said, "It's Brother Tiger—how did you know my son was a month old?"
The tiger said with dissatisfaction, "If my master hadn't informed me, I really wouldn't have known."
"Your master?"
"Dong Ping."
I suddenly realized, "Oh, it's him."
Just then, the back door of the tiger carriage opened, and an old man in a silk jacket leisurely crawled out. He was wearing small round sunglasses, carrying a sanxian (a three-stringed plucked instrument), and pinched my arm, saying, "Grandson, you're something else, getting the little one out so quickly?"
I quickly helped the old man up: "Grandpa Gu, you've come too?"
Old Gu piled the sunglasses and the sanxian (a three-stringed plucked instrument) into my hands, picked up Xiaobugai and examined him closely, nodding and saying, "Hmm, this child looks smart. Have you decided whether to study literature or martial arts?"
I asked respectfully, "What do you think, sir?"
The old man beckoned to the inappropriate little hand and said, "Judging from his palm, this child can play the sanxian (a three-stringed plucked instrument) well, and he's also good at Iron Palm—have you formally become his apprentice?"
I said, "...Not yet, but I've found a bunch of godfathers." I deliberately lowered my voice for the last few words, and Lao Gu probably understood who those godfathers were.
The old man paused for a moment and then said, "Oh, this kid is quite old. I was thinking of adopting him as my godson, but it seems we can only call each other brothers from now on. Let's be as close as possible to each other from now on."
I exclaimed, "Don't be so arrogant, old man. I'm your grandson. If you two are like brothers, then how do I relate to my son?"
As we joked around, the parking lot became even more crowded. Zhu Gui's assistant pointed at Tiger and said, "Hey, you big guy, hurry up and park your car properly."
The tiger glared and said, "How can you talk like that? Can't you be a little more polite?"
Before I could mediate, several servants suddenly darted out from the side, fawning, "Don't get angry, everyone." They then reached out to Tiger, saying, "If you trust us, leave this to us." I was both angry and amused. These guys were none other than servants from our Xiao Mansion. These fellows might not be good at much else, but they were absolute experts at valet parking, having honed their skills in my beat-up van.
Tiger hesitated for a moment, then casually handed the keys to the waiter. The waiter took the keys, a smile on his face, but didn't move. I kicked him in the backside and laughed, "Get lost, all you know is tips!" Seeing I spoke, the waiter didn't dare linger and hurriedly got into the car. Tiger said sheepishly, "Look at what I said, I forgot about that." He then rushed over and stuffed 50 yuan into the waiter's hand…
Accompanying Grandpa Gu and Tiger to the front square of Yucai School, we saw several workers diligently placing two large vases at the school gate. One of the workers, the foreman, approached me with a small notebook and said, "You must be Mr. Xiao? We are..."
I waved my hand and said, "Miss Chen Kejiao asked you to deliver this, right?"
The foreman asked, puzzled, "How did you know?"
"Of course it's her!" I signed my name in his notebook, glanced around, and sure enough, "White Lotus Cult Leader" Bai Lianhua was there too. Bai Lianhua, dressed in a beige business suit, walked over with a smile and said, "Congratulations, Brother Xiao Qiang." She then pinched his cheek and greeted Baozi. I laughed, "Your boss sent you here again? Next time, could you send something else? Now every time I see a vase, I think of your Miss Chen. Isn't that bad for the image of a strong woman like her?"
Bai Lianhua covered her mouth and laughed, "Actually, if there were no other way, which woman wouldn't want to be a decorative vase?"
I chuckled and said, "And what about you?"
The white lotus sighed wistfully, "I don't even have the looks to be a pretty face."
I quickly said, "Don't be modest. Anyone who treats you like a pretty face is definitely going to lose money."
The White Lotus Cult Leader rolled her eyes at me, then helped Master Gu up to me, saying, "You're the main character today. See if there's anything that needs to be arranged. I'll go in with the old man."
I called out from behind them, "Master Gu, let me remind you, whatever she's selling you, think it over carefully before you buy it!" I completely believed that this seemingly innocent woman could sell an electric guitar to Master Gu as a traditional Chinese musical instrument...
Before I knew it, Baozi pinched my waist and whispered, "Why did Chen Kejiao give you a vase?" Baozi had heard about my past life's karmic entanglement with Chen Kejiao like it was a joke, but he remained wary at this point. To be honest, I was also skeptical of Liu Laoliu's story about a three-lifetime romance. It was probably just a gimmick he made up to lure me in. Besides her 36D bust, what about Chen Kejiao resembled a demon? Well, if anything, she was probably just a pretty face.
I slapped Baozi's hand away and said, "How would I know?" I was already used to Chen Kejiao giving me vases, but I was really curious how she knew to give me vases today.
I turned to Sun Sixin and asked, "Are all these people here to celebrate my son's one-month birthday? Isn't this a bad influence?" Didn't those people who were exposed online a while ago for smoking exorbitantly priced cigarettes and building luxurious tombs all get their jobs taken? I'm practically a public figure, and celebrating my son's one-month birthday at school is causing such a stir. If things go wrong, I might be treated as engaging in unethical practices.
As I walked towards the crowd, people kept greeting me. There were Tiger's fellow disciples, my old friends, villagers from Yao Village, bar employees, and many martial arts practitioners I had met at the martial arts tournament. There were also some people whose faces I vaguely recognized but whose names I couldn't recall.
A big fat man stopped in front of me on a motorcycle with a sidecar and shouted, "Xiao Qiang, congratulations!"
I laughed and said, "Hey Erpang, you're here too?"
Erpang leaped out of the truck, scooped a two- or three-year-old girl from the woman's arms in the back of the truck bed, and hoisted her onto his shoulders, saying, "Call me uncle."
The little girl sweetly called out, "Uncle."
Baozi couldn't stand it anymore and patted the little girl's head, asking, "How old are you?"
Erpang laughed and said, "He's only three years old. Xiaoqiang, how about we arrange a marriage between our two families?"
I couldn't help but exclaim with delight, "Wow, another case of a woman three years older than her husband bringing good fortune! That's wonderful!"
Liu Bang coughed behind me and said, "Xiao Qiang, you already have in-laws." At this crucial moment, he actually sided with Zhang Liang.
I rolled my eyes at him and said, "What's wrong with having a few more in-laws? Can't I accomplish the great ambitions that my generation couldn't achieve through my son?" It's just a few more mothers-in-law. I don't think our family is fully capable of handling that.
Speaking of mothers-in-law, I then noticed Erpang's wife. She was an ordinary-looking woman, simply dressed, and probably not very sociable; she just smiled shyly at us. I whispered to Erpang, "How does your wife compare to Diao Chan?"
Erpang leaned closer to me and said, "I suspect your current sister-in-law is Diao Chan!"
I was shocked and asked, "Why do you say that?"
Erpang winked and said, "This is not something to be told to outsiders."
I stared in disbelief as he carried his daughter and put his arm around "Diao Chan's" waist as they walked away. I scoffed and said, "Tch, what's so secretive about it? It's just something that happens in bed."
Baozi asked, "What did you say?"
I put my arm around Baozi's waist and said, "We were Xi Shi in our past lives."
Someone behind me said, "So you were Fan Li in your past life?"
I was startled. When I turned around, I saw a middle-aged man who was overweight, with a harmless smile on his face and some balding hair—Fei Sankou.