Cien años de soledad

Capítulo 13

"Haha...you're really honest. Getting a university degree these days is easier than getting SARS. What's so scary about being called a PhD? It's rare..."

Thinking about it, it makes sense. How many people's knowledge matches their diplomas? I'm already doing pretty well, so I stopped worrying about it.

"That old ghost... is he really still here?"

“Of course, the tomb is the best place for ghosts to stay. Who can see them coming and going?” Officer Feng pulled out a square plastic box.

"What's this?"

"Detector! The presence of ghosts can also generate a very peculiar magnetic field... Got it!" The red signal light suddenly flashed.

I started to get nervous, partly because I was scared, and partly because I longed to see Xiaoyuan. Why? It had only been a day...

We stopped at the site where the ancient corpse was discovered; it was much deeper than the place I had come from the night before.

"Do me a favor!" Officer Feng placed his hand on the coffin lid...

"Do you mean we need to move the lid?" I asked.

"Nonsense! Do you think I'm going to carve 'I was here' on it?"

...

As the coffin was moved, a corpse appeared before us, a pale and terrifying face, the face of a man who looked to be about fifty years old, but we couldn't see his beard. Was it really that old eunuch?

"Hmph, just as I expected, the corpse has returned on its own!"

"But...but why isn't he getting up to fight us? Where...where is Xiao Yuan?"

"His soul may have gone out on some business, so now he's just a corpse in name only!"

"So what do we do now?"

"Wait for him to come back?"

"Wait...wait for him to come back?" What kind of nonsense is this? Wait for a ghost? Where is Xiaoyuan? I've searched everywhere but haven't found her.

"Nonsense! Are you suggesting we tickle him awake?"

I waited a long time. Just as I was gradually calming down, the corpse in the coffin suddenly sat up! It scared me to death!

"Who are you? Why are you on my turf?... Oh? It's you! The one who hurt me, haha, I haven't even come looking for you yet and you've already come looking for me? How self-assured! Alright, kid, it's time to settle the score..."

---janeadam

Reply [39]: He stretched out his white, transparent ten fingers, with terrifyingly long nails on them, and made a face as he lunged at me.

Even after a while, it gets tiresome. Xiao Yuan has already given me countless lessons in making funny faces! I'm not so scared anymore. Bring it on! Although I don't know any magic, I'm a virgin, full of yang energy. What, a ghost like you? Besides, I came here on purpose. If I showed cowardice now, wouldn't everyone, including ghosts, laugh their heads off? Those two blood-sucking fangs would be the best option!

"Ahhhhhh!" He screamed and lunged at me!

How could I possibly lose to you? Back in the day, I was the kind of person who would get yelled at by the entire audience whenever I sang. "Aaaaaaahh ...

Did you all see that? My vocal cords are longer than that old ghost's!

"Ah~ ...

I opened my eyes and saw a huge talisman, as big as a door couplet! Feng Bu stuck it heavily onto the old ghost's body! The old ghost screamed in pain and writhed on the ground.

"Where is Xiaoyuan?" I mustered up my courage and rushed up to ask.

"Don't...don't even think about it...I...will die to...hold her back...she's mine..."

Where is she?

Old Ghost suddenly pulled out a vase with a red silk lid. I realized what was happening and reached out to snatch it…

Too late… A hint of triumph flashed across the old ghost’s pained expression… In an instant, he transformed into countless dust particles that exploded in the air, along with the vase in his hand!

"No!" I screamed and lunged at the powder, but I could only grab one piece at a time...

...

“Let’s go…” Officer Feng advised me, “You’re not the only one who’s sad… After all, I proposed to her too, and she’s one of the women who passed through my life…”

"Just a little longer, just a little longer..." I finally understood the depth of sorrow. I wanted to cry but couldn't. Was this it? Was everything really ending so inexplicably? Just like in the beginning. I felt like the ice cream she held in her hand yesterday—no one wanted to eat it anymore, and it would soon melt away on its own...

No! I'm not reconciled. She still had something to say, so why didn't she finish? Was it her fault?

I still had things to say, so why didn't I say them? It's my fault! If we were destined to part, why did we meet in the first place?

Why did we meet? Just to experience the taste of pain? It really hurts, it's so bitter...

I was unwilling to give up, so I rummaged through the pile of powder... like a child who had lost his key, not because he was afraid of being scolded, but because he couldn't bear to part with his favorite ornament on his keychain... knowing there was nothing inside, I still kept searching... I looked up, intending to let my tears escape gravity, but I noticed something faintly written on the wall.

I held up my flashlight; it revealed several lines of blurry ancient characters… Of the characters I could make out, I recognized a few:

Xiao Yuan...again...Dong...Young Master...meeting...do you remember...so much gratitude...I like you...I'm satisfied...Princess...doesn't want...it's never been...happiness...I...forget

It was written by Xiao Yuan. Judging from the crooked handwriting, it must have been written secretly. Although I could make out the general meaning, there were still many things I didn't understand. My intuition told me that the words "it's not" seemed to have another meaning. I remained silent for a long time. Suddenly, as if remembering something, I grabbed Feng Bu frantically: "Quick! Take me to that old man who repairs cars, I need his help..."

---janeadam

Reply [40]: Chapter Twenty: Like a Dream of Chang'an!

"What did you say?" A glint of excitement flashed in the old man's eyes, but he quickly replied in a stern tone, "You know, this is no joke!"

"Is there any danger to his life?" I asked worriedly.

"That's not necessarily true. After all, it's something I invented, so its safety is guaranteed. However, the past and the present are completely different..."

“It’s okay!” I interrupted him, looking very determined. A life without taking risks cannot be called a real life.

"So, which era do you want to go back to?"

"Could we go back to a slave society?" Officer Feng interjected. "I heard that women there wear very little clothing, hehe..."

"Beast!!" the old man and I cursed in unison.

"Tch~~ You two have no sense of humor."

Fortunately, I have a good understanding of history. Based on Xiaoyuan's explanation, I roughly calculated the time period. As long as I find Xiaoyuan, I can bring her back with me.

"There's one thing I must state upfront: history, which has already happened, cannot be altered. If you're thinking of changing anything, I advise you to abandon that idea as soon as possible..."

I nodded, but inwardly I disagreed. I was going to save people; after all, the world wasn't going to end. Youth is synonymous with recklessness; I acted without considering the consequences, a consequence of my impulsive nature. I tried to fight the gears of history with my own flesh and blood, only to end up with bloodied hands, utterly useless. But I wouldn't rest until I personally learned this lesson.

The old man handed me a specially made jacket. "This is a special type of abrasion-resistant and heat-resistant garment. It can maintain a constant inner temperature even at 1024 degrees Celsius. Damn! The raw materials cost me three years' worth of savings, and I can't even bear to wear it myself… 555… You have to return it to me when you come back!"

I took a deep breath and stepped into the time machine...

Do you have a history of heart disease or mental illness?

I shook my head.

Do you have any large scars on your body? Such as those from surgery?

I shook my head.

"Do you usually get carsick?" The old man took out two small blue pills and gave them to me.

"Viagra?"

"This is a specially made anti-nausea medicine to prevent you from feeling unwell when time rapidly reverses. I will teleport you to any random dry well outside Chang'an. You will also return to that well, so please remember that!"

"Brother Lin!" For some reason, Officer Feng was in tears. We'd only known each other for a few days. "There was no television in ancient times. Take care of yourself. I'll be waiting for you to come back..."

I feel like throwing up. The last sentence is clearly a phrase that wives use when seeing their husbands off on long journeys.

I gazed fondly at the beautiful world around me. Why hadn't I appreciated it before? I even used to hate the world I existed in. Perhaps people are just inherently worthless and don't know how to cherish things. Suddenly, I felt a pang of regret. Why did I do this? Everything has its own destiny; why interfere? Just as I was about to tell the old man I'd think about it some more, he ruthlessly slammed the door shut. "Hey..." Bedwetting at crucial moments is my usual tactic—so indecisive, so shameful!

"OK! Welcome aboard the Michelle Reis Time Express!" "What does this have to do with Michelle Reis?"

"Hehe... I named my machine after my idol!" "Why not call it the Madonna?"

"Damn it! You didn't invent it. You can just fold a paper boat and call it that."

"The tense moment is about to begin... Let's start the countdown..." The old man turned to Officer Feng, "Do you have a watch?"

"I lost it when I took a shower last time."

"Never mind then, let's not count down." The old man pulled down the lever.

No response...

"What's going on? Is there a power outage?" He added some oil to the machine and pulled down the lever again...

A deafening roar erupted from the machine, growing louder and louder, sending objects tumbling through the room as the gusts of wind it generated scattered. The two men clutched their heads tightly...

Bang~~~~~~~~~~~~~>>>>>(((()))))<<<<<<

A huge explosion occurred at the junkyard!

Two African princes stood amidst the ruins of the log cabin, and the old man and Officer Feng gazed at each other affectionately for a long time.

"We did it!!" They suddenly hugged each other like madmen...

"Is my hairstyle still okay?"

"Thank goodness... mine is still here?"

"It's alright! Do you still have your special motion sickness medication? I've been getting carsick a lot lately..."

---janeadam

Reply [41]: "Actually, it was just Viagra with some honey applied. I just wanted to remove his psychological barrier..."

※ ※ ※

Chang'an more than two thousand years ago, is that really you? Have I really arrived? Perhaps I'm about to meet the greatest monarch in history. I'm so excited! I can't help but feel a surge of animalistic energy—no, a surge of poetic inspiration:

The palaces of Qin and Han dynasties stand in the moonlight, flowers and leaves fall within the city walls. To long for the emperor's countenance feels like a dream of Chang'an!

I poked half my head out of the dry well and saw a group of people watching something in the distance.

"Dead, huh..." "Yeah! Looks like he just died." "Poor thing!"...

After the crowd gradually dispersed, I climbed out and went over. It was a fresh corpse. (Narrator: Fresh? Answer: It means it just died recently. Narrator: How disgusting, you make it sound like you're making dinner...)

I glanced at my own attire, then at the corpse. My clothes weren't fancy, but they were clean enough. Suddenly, an idea struck me: "I'm so sorry for my rudeness!"