Cien años de soledad

Capítulo 16

This…this voice…it’s Xianyin! Ah? Xianyin—Pingyang! Completely opposite names, completely opposite genders…I understand now, they are the same person, she’s a woman disguised as a man! I’m stunned! How come I didn’t notice before? It’s all because she tied her breasts too tightly, wasn’t she afraid of deforming them? That makes sense, there was no breast augmentation back then, she was all natural, real gold isn’t afraid of fire, real breasts aren’t afraid of compression!

"Dongfang Shuo!" Emperor Wu's face suddenly darkened. I only just learned how unpredictable an emperor's personality can be today. He was all smiles just now.

"You slept with my sister... what do you suggest we do?"

---janeadam

Reply [48]: Chapter Twenty-Four: The Rival is the Emperor!

What to do? Are they going to make me their son-in-law? Haha… a blessing in disguise? (Aside: Hey! You seem to be here for another woman.)

"Whatever the Emperor says, we'll do..." That's all I could say.

"Oh? You want me to decide?" Emperor Wu remained silent for a moment.

Haha! Looks like the new imperial son-in-law is about to be announced... Wow, I can't wait!

"Do you have a sister? Isn't she pretty?" Emperor Wu asked lecherously. "That's fair!"

Damn it! You have three thousand beauties in your harem and that's not enough? You can have 3P or more parties every day, while we can only have shit, and we're still not satisfied!

"I'm sorry... I... I'm an only child..."

"Oh... really..." Emperor Wu seemed not to have given up hope. "Do you have any older sisters or cousins?"

Oh no! "I'm an orphan!" Anyway, in ancient times, no one would know I was lying.

"Oh..." Emperor Wu said softly, not without envy, "Orphans are so lucky..."

What does that mean? I saw a hint of gloom in his brow... Everyone is equal in the face of troubles, even the emperor is no exception, so why would he envy orphans? Is it because his blind grandmother, Empress Dowager Dou's autocratic rule limited his great ambitions?

"Your Majesty..." Princess Pingyang called softly.

"Oh! I won't say anymore, my sister is too distressed..." Emperor Wu smiled, "Guards, I want to host a banquet for Dongfang Shuo, serve the dishes!"

"Yes...the Emperor has decreed a banquet to be held for Dongfang Shuo..."

"Hey! Little Grass!" Emperor Wu turned to me, "What kind of dance do you like to watch?"

"Me? Well... I'm really sorry, I enjoy watching pole dancing!"

"Huh? What?" Emperor Wu asked, looking puzzled.

"No?" I thought disappointedly. It seems even the emperor isn't as capricious as he pleases. "Do you have any bikinis? The clothing can't be any more revealing."

"Huh? What do you mean by 'point' and 'style'?" Emperor Wu was increasingly confused.

Oh no, I'm afraid I'll anger the emperor. "Oh... I mean, any dance will do, as long as His Majesty likes it, I like it too!"

"Huh?" Emperor Wu's expression changed drastically. "You dare to like the same things as me?"

"Oh no!" Serving a king is like serving a tiger; I wiped away cold sweat. "I just secretly like him... secretly..." As I said this, I felt my chin suddenly become sharper...

"Hahaha... What an interesting fellow! I like him very much! Then let's have a performance of 'Flying Swallow of the Han Palace,' summon the dancers!"

"Welder? Pneumonia?" How terrifying! The entire nation has just overcome it, but hearing about it still sends shivers down our spines.

...

**! What a terrible dance! Covered up so much, you can't even see your belly button.**

"Your Majesty! They danced very well... but..."

"But what?" Emperor Wu asked me.

"But it's so hot outside, and they're doing such strenuous exercise, you should be understanding..."

How can we show understanding?

"Should we tell them to take their clothes off and dance?"

"Oh? You've really hit the nail on the head! I've had this thought for a long time. No one understands me better than Dongfang Xiaocao!"

"No!" Princess Pingyang suddenly exclaimed, "You filthy men!"

"The Emperor actually scolded you..."

Emperor Wu looked aggrieved: "To be honest, she was actually being polite today. I've been bullied by her since I was a child... 55"

How could an emperor be bullied like this by his own sister? But then I thought about it, and it makes sense. He was in the treacherous court, fighting alone on this battlefield without gunpowder. The only person he could trust and rely on was Princess Pingyang. The deep affection between siblings is touching! I also wish I had a sister, so I wouldn't have to throw away my socks after wearing them...

555

---janeadam

Reply [49]: Suddenly, a beautiful song came, stunning everyone present: Green mountains stretch endlessly, and the streams are sweet.

...

The herb-gathering girl walked barefoot in the mountain stream...

A beautiful face cannot hide a lonely heart...

Sleepless nights are spent only for your sake...

Day after day, year after year...

When will we share a pillow and grow old together, continuing our bond for another two thousand years...?

What a beautiful voice, what a moving dance! It's like a fairy descending from heaven, her face veiled, making you eager to see her! The last line, "May our love last for two thousand years," stirred my heart... Little Yuan, where are you?

"Ah~~ Sister... who is this woman?" Emperor Wu's heart fluttered upon hearing this.

"She is the daughter of a maid. I saw her by chance and I never imagined that there was such a beauty in the world. Moreover, her voice is extremely pleasant. It makes one jealous..." Princess Pingyang said with a smile. It seems that she had planned this beforehand.

"What is your name? May I see your face by lifting your veil?" Emperor Wu asked.

"The female slave's name is Wei Zifu," the dancer replied softly, then lifted the veil from her face.

“Xiao Yuan…” I cried out in a choked voice.

Everyone looked at me.

"What Xiao Yuan?" Emperor Wu asked me.

“Her? That dancing woman!” I pointed to Wei Zifu.

“My lord, you have mistaken me for someone else. We seem to be complete strangers. Moreover, my name is Wei Zifu, and all the servants of the Marquis of Pingyang who know me can testify to this…” Wei Zifu said.

"Impossible!" I thought to myself. It's clearly Xiao Yuan, could it be...?

"Haha! Dongfang Xiaocao, your tricks are too old-fashioned! This tactic seems familiar. I used it long ago when I was traveling incognito to visit beautiful women in the countryside!" Emperor Wu suddenly burst into laughter.

Laugh at me! Why would I use such a disgusting tactic? I'm stating the facts, at least to me.

"Very well! Tonight, I will have a long talk with Miss Wei Zifu in my bedchamber..." Emperor Wu looked at Xiao Yuan with lustful eyes.

"No!" I cried out again. Everyone looked at me with disbelief once more.

---janeadam

Reply [50]: Chapter Twenty-Five: Running for You in the Still of the Night!

"Oh no! What I mean is, with such a beautiful woman, how could the Emperor bear to talk to her at night? Why not talk to her now..." Jesus, may Allah forgive me for saying such insincere words.

"No, some things are better said at night." Emperor Wu swallowed hard. "Although I am a little impatient, waiting is a virtue, and I like the feeling of anticipation before achieving my goal."

...

That night, I was assigned to stay in Chang Le Palace. Listening to the chirping of insects outside the window, it seemed as if they were mocking me. I had traveled all this way from the distant future, only to find that it was all a lie, a huge lie! Gazing in the direction of Weiyang Palace, I was overwhelmed with thoughts. The people there were complaining that the spring night was too short, while I here was lamenting the endless night…

"Young Master..."

I turned around: "Xiao Yuan! Is it really you?...Xiao Yuan!"

"Who else could it be but me? I'm not a twin!"

"I miss you so much, I must be possessed, how could I miss you so much?" I rushed forward and hugged her tightly, "Xiaoyuan... this..."

"What? Young Master..."

"Your breasts are so big..."

"Really? I have an even bigger temper!" *Slap* I was slapped so hard I spun around like a ballerina.

"Why did you hit me?" I asked, covering my face in pain.

"Xiao Yuan?? Who exactly is Xiao Yuan? Is she your first love? Where does she live? I'm going to send someone to kill her!"

"Huh?" I rubbed my eyes, which were numbed by the alcohol from the daytime. "Ah... Grandpa... Princess!"

"Do you call every woman you see 'Xiao Yuan'?"

Why are all the women I meet so fierce? One is a black belt master, another is a capricious female ghost, and the last is a spoiled princess. Although I have a slight masochistic tendency...

And so, with a desire for revenge against Xiaoyuan, I had another one-night stand with the princess.

You stinky emperor, trying to outlast me? I don't sleep until the rooster crows... 555... I need a big boost...

These past few days, the Emperor has been showering attention on Xiao Yuan, and the Princess has been clinging to me every night. I finally got a day to catch my breath, so I managed to get some deer antler and other things to eat in the palace.

I pondered to myself, how could this be? I risked my life to come from the future, only to find that Xiao Yuan has become the emperor's puppet, and I have become the princess's sex slave. Two people who should have been together are now separated by palace walls, each entangled with others... How can I bear this?

If Xiaoyuan really is Wei Zifu, then why would she fabricate such a long list of lies to deceive me? The more I thought about it, the less I understood, and the more I understood, the more I wanted to know. So I decided to sneak into Xiaoyuan's palace at night.

As for Emperor Wu, he's probably gotten a bit tired of things these past few days and hasn't gone to Xiao Yuan's place, which suits me just fine.

The night was still young, so I dressed in light clothing and went to explore the Weiyang Palace! As the saying goes:

The bright moon shines in the sky, and I am running stealthily.

They sneaked into the deep palace and lay down whenever they saw someone.

The guard looked around and thought it was a cat meowing.

The night was so dark that I suddenly tripped and fell.

My nose was bleeding and swollen like a red date.